A Spinster No More by Rose Pearson
Epilogue
Tulilly, January 1st, 1821
The manor housewas almost silent when Anne woke on the day of her wedding. She stretched and got out of bed, moving to the shutters and opening them and the windows wide so she could breathe in the fresh Devon air. There was a haze of mist hanging over the surrounding fields, but the sky was blue with only the barest handful of white clouds scudding across it. She smiled, still finding it hard to believe that this day had finally come.
Heather appeared at the head of the stable lads, who were carrying a large brass bath on their shoulders. They set it down in front of the fire, as Heather stoked the embers and added more wood to warm the room. The boys disappeared, and Heather proceeded to heat pot after pot of hot water on the fire, finally pouring them all into the tub so Anne might bathe. The young maid added rose petals and dried jasmine flowers before she left Anne to her privacy.
Anne pulled off her nightgown and slipped into the deep water. She felt the warmth seep into her muscles and bones, the scent of the flowers was intoxicating and relaxing. She could have stayed there all day, had the water stayed hot enough – and if she had not been about to marry the man she loved. As the clock struck nine, she quickly washed her body with a bar of soap Heather had left nearby and lathered her hair. A final dunk of her head under the water and she leapt out of the tub and grabbed a large bath sheet and wrapped it around herself.
Heather reappeared, as if she had perhaps been watching through the keyhole and began to pull an ivory comb through Anne’s wet hair. She carefully began to pin it, so that it would dry in springy ringlets. If they did not set as they should, Heather would heat the tongs in the fire to ensure they would hold their shape for the entire day. Heather helped her into her undergarments and then disappeared.
A few minutes later, Mama entered Anne’s room, carrying the gown that she had worn on the day she had married Papa. Anne smiled. It was a little old-fashioned, but the delicate lace and warm ivory satin had always been a part of her dream for this day. Mama laid it out carefully on the bed, so it would not crease or rumple, then hugged Anne tightly. “I am so proud of you, my darling,” she said softly. “And I shall miss you. It has been so wonderful having you back home with us.”
“Mama, Everton has promised me that we will visit often. And his father has joined with Lord William’s father and taken a share in the mines, so there will be lots of excuses for us to come.”
“It is not the same,” Mama said sadly. “When James died, I lost you both in some ways. You were never quite the same, and though you tried so hard to be what you thought we expected of you, I know how hard you struggled.”
“I was so ashamed when I could not make a match,” Anne admitted. “I never wanted to let you and Papa down, and I knew how much you needed me to marry well. I knew that the estate was not producing the yields it should and that Papa needed an injection of capital to turn it around. I hated that I could not make that happen for him.”
“But we never expected you to bolster our situation by your marriage,” her mother said, aghast at such a notion. “I am so sorry if you ever felt that was something we needed of you.”
“It is what is expected of every young woman, is it not?” Anne said sadly.
“I suppose it is,” Mama agreed. “But whether you intended it or not, you have managed to do so, and so far above any expectations we might have ever had. And we are so proud that Everton is the kind of man who does not mind one bit that you bring him nothing.”
“I bring him love. It is all either of us wish from one another,” Anne said a little dreamily.
“And that is a blessing that will help you to manage any hard times you face, but he has a fortune will ease your passage – and that is not to be dismissed,” her mother warned her.
“I know,” Anne said. “I have seen enough of being poor and the benefits of being rich to ever dismiss the need for enough capital to make your way in the world. I am glad that any children we may have will not have to struggle as we so often did.”
“I missed so much time with you, when you were in London. I cannot quite believe what a poised and wise young woman you have become. James would be so proud of you.”
“I miss him every day,” Anne said quietly.
“Your father and I do, too.”
They sat in contemplative silence for a few moments, then Mama stood up. “Now, let us get you dressed, so Heather can come back and finish your hair.”
* * *
Everton stoodat the end of the aisle of the Tulilly parish church, his brother, Henry, by his side. “You’re sure you are ready for this?” Henry asked him.
“I have never been more sure of anything,” Everton answered truthfully. He had not been spared moments of doubt in the past few days, but he was as sure as he could be that marrying Anne was precisely what he should be doing.
“And Katherine’s ghost has finally been exorcised?” Henry’s concern was touching. He so rarely ever noticed anyone or anything, that it was strange – but Everton was grateful for it.
“I think it has,” he admitted.
“I’m so glad,” Henry said with a cheeky grin. “You almost ruined our wedding when you saw Caroline walk up the aisle. I truly hope you don’t come over all peculiar like that again.”
“I am so sorry,” Everton said, suddenly realizing that he had apologized to Anne, but not to Henry and his bride for his behavior on the day of their wedding. “It was like seeing her come back to life. I thought myself back then, waiting for her at the church.” He paused. “I went there, you know, the day we should have been wed. I sat in the front pew, and I waited – as if she might come, like the lovesick fool I was.”
“I knew,” Henry said. “Mama sent me to watch over you. I didn’t come in and kept out of sight when you came out. I think she wanted to be sure you didn’t do anything stupid.”
“Was I truly so bad?” Everton asked, surprised by what Henry had just said. He had believed he had kept the worst of his grief to himself, so as not to burden them. To find that they had known all along was disconcerting.
“You tried so hard to keep it all in. I think Mama feared it would eat you up inside, but you seemed to pull yourself together – though it wasn’t until you met Miss Knorr that you really came alive again.”
“I do wish someone had said some of this to me before,” Everton mused.
“Would you have heard us out?” Henry asked him seriously. “You have always wanted to look after everyone, to protect all of us from our hurts – like talking with father so I might return to my studies. When you were hurt yourself, you simply put up a wall around your own pain so you could keep on doing that. Promise me, brother, that you won’t do that again? That you will ask for help if you need it?”
“And people accuse you of not caring,” Everton said, trying desperately to lighten the moment. Henry grinned.
“I care. I’m just not dramatic,” he said simply. “Be happy with Miss Knorr. She is so very good for you.”
At that moment, Everton could not respond to his brother, as the first chords of the wedding march sounded and Miss Knorr and her father, Sir John, appeared at the back of the church. She was dressed in a full-skirted ivory gown, covered with intricate lace. It nipped in at her waist, a style that had not been popular in many years, but one that showed off Anne’s fine figure. She looked perfect. He could hardly take his eyes from her.
As Sir John placed her hand in his, Everton vowed silently and to nobody but himself, that he would love her and care for her with everything he was. She had changed him in every way. She had brought him back to himself, and he could never thank her enough for that. “I love you,” he whispered, before the vicar began to speak.
“I love you,” she said, smiling up at him, her rose-pink cheeks flushed with happiness.
The ceremony passed in a blur, all Everton could think of was the beauty of his bride and how lucky he was to have her in his life. Soon everyone present suddenly started cheering and he knew it was over. He was wed to the true love of his life. He offered her his arm and they made their way down the aisle, out into the bright sunshine. Everton dipped his head and kissed his wife’s rosebud lips. “I don’t deserve you, Mrs. Cormick,” he said with a grin.
“No, it is I who does not deserve you, Mr. Cormick,” she replied. “Mama reminded me today of how much I changed after James died. I got lost in my grief – and even though I tried not to speak of him or let him even enter my thoughts, he was there every minute of every day. Every man or boy I met was not ever good enough, because he was gone from my life. How could I ever consider replacing him.”
“Yet, you fell in love with me?” Everton marveled. “A man as trapped by his grief as you were by yours.”
“Perhaps that is why we found one another,” Anne said. “We could understand each other. We knew the same pain, the same profound loss.”
“The gaps by our side that could never be filled,” Everton mused. “You may be right. But whatever it was that brought us together, whether it was our grief – or that we were simply finally ready to move on from it, I am glad of it. I will spend the rest of our lives together making you happy. I promise.”
“And I will do the same,” Anne echoed as he kissed her once more. “You are the love of my life. I know Katherine was yours, and I never expect to take her place in your heart.”
“Darling Anne, always putting yourself last. You are the love of my life. I loved Katherine and always will – as you will always love your brother – but what I felt for her does not come close to what I feel for you. Know that, always. You are nobody’s second choice – and especially not mine.”
