Random Encounter by Allyson Lindt

Twenty-Two

Adrienne

The heavy cloud hanging in the room when Phillip left was nothing compared to the weight pressing on my heart on Dustin’s behalf. On my own. Why did this hurt so badly?

“So, we should go.” Dustin nudged me upright as he spoke. “Thanks for tonight.” He choked off the words. He’d picked me up because he said Brandon’s house was hard to find.

“Sure.” Brandon’s retort was weak.

I walked to Dustin’s car with him, close enough the heat from his arm brushed mine, but feeling a chasm between us at the lack of physical contact. The silence was enough to gag on, and Dustin’s blank stare as we got in his SUV made me hurt even more.

He sat there, keys in the ignition, engine off.

“I’m sorry.” I had to shatter the quiet. I couldn’t stand it anymore. “I’m not here to take anyone’s place. I never—”

“Don’t.” Dustin squeezed my thigh. The heat of his palm and his tight grip shocked my system. “You’ve been told, never apologize for being you. Or for being here. Or anything. Don’t.”

I swallowed past the lump in my throat. “Okay.”

Dustin raked his free hand through his hair. “Do you want to come back to my place?”

“I don’t want to be your rebound lay.” That was a bad reply, even for me. But I didn’t know what to do. What to say.

Dustin’s laugh was strained. “Not for sex. This is going to sound dumb.”

“I doubt it.”

“I’ve had extra people in my house for days, and hearing this... I thought he was a better friend. I thought I was a better friend. I don’t...”

…want to be alone. That was my answer, whether or not it was his. “Your place sounds good.”

The drive to Dustin’s was quiet. I kept my window cracked, hoping the cool night air would calm me. It didn’t work.

At his house, he showed me to the guest room—which was the same as the photography room, but with the cameras put away—handed me a shirt to sleep in, and told me good night.

I wasn’t sure what I expected, but this wasn’t it. An ache set in my chest from what I witnessed at Brandon’s, between Dustin and Phillip. I hadn’t imagined Dustin’s hurt. Or how fake Phillip’s indifference was. “Do you want to talk?” I asked.

“About what? Not him.”

That wasn’t a good sign. “Something else, then. If you go to bed now, you’ll be up all night stewing about things.”

“Most likely.”

“I can’t make you talk to me, but I’m here if you want.”

He shook his head. “You’re welcome to the shower, towels are in the closet, kitchen is yours, make yourself at home.”

“Thanks.” The people in my life would be impressed. Something had knocked the words out of me.

Dustin turned away and disappeared into room across the hall and one door down.

How fucked up was tonight? It felt weird being in this room again, considering the first time I was here. It felt weird missing Phillip, though he wasn’t gone yet. It felt weird stepping into someone else’s shower.

The need to rinse off the hurt and disappointment before I fell asleep—like sleep was going to happen—won out over awkwardness. I cleaned up quickly, and changed into the shirt and shorts Dustin gave me. I pulled the drawstring tight, and managed to get the bottoms to hang on my hips.

I could scroll social media, see if that put me to sleep. Play a mobile game? Head into the living room and watch TV? That definitely felt weird.

Before I could decide, there was a knock, and I opened the door to Dustin. His hair was damp, he was only wearing a pair of sweats, and he smelled like soap.

He cupped my face between his palms and crushed his mouth to mine, stealing my thoughts and my breath and my anchor to reason. This felt so incredible. I wanted him desperately, before now, but especially after what we’d done in the office…

I pressed my palm to his chest, barely aware of the gesture until I pushed him back with a no.

Someone could let me off this emotional roller coaster now, please, while it was cresting a peak again.

Dustin’s growl made my flames of need surge, but he stepped back, breaking the contact between us. “You’re right.” He scrubbed his face, sat on the bed, and patted the mattress next to him.

I sat, keeping some distance between us, but not much. What now?

Silence again, apparently.

“Why art? What made you pick up a pencil and say I’m going to get better at drawing?” Dustin’s question was so random, so far away from the core of whatever this mess was, I almost smiled through the sadness, frustration, and confusion.

“This may surprise you, but I’m not always the best at expressing myself through words.”

“I find that hard to believe.” His tone was sincere.

I ducked my head. “Not everyone appreciates my… quirks.” Which I didn’t really have to think about around him. Or Phillip. The fallout from the fight at Brandon’s would fade, right? Things would be better in the morning? “The drawing started as an outlet, and it made me so happy, I kept doing it. What about you?”

“Nothing nearly so noble.”

This conversation, this moment, was surreal. A bubble of peace in the middle of a storm. “My reasons are hardly noble.”

Dustin smirked. “I liked drawing dicks on things.”

I laughed in spite of myself.

He joined in with a light chuckle. “Told you. I had an art teacher who said if I was going to do that, I should at least learn to do it right.”

“Did your parents know?” Me, with my conservative upbringing couldn’t fathom being encouraged at a young age to draw genitalia.

“Knew. Encouraged it. As long as what I was doing wasn’t sexual, they were proud of me for being adult enough to handle nude drawing.”

I studied him with skepticism. “It was sexual.”

Dustin shrugged. “I was fifteen. It was completely sexual. But only until the novelty of drawing dicks wore off. Then my interest was real, and I was good. I wanted to be the best.”

“You’re pretty amazing.” I should qualify that. “At drawing.” And other things. “And other things.”

He covered my hand with his, and warmth wrapped around me. “I’m not the best yet,” he said. “But there’s still time.”

His confidence was so sexy. Then again, most things about him were. Same for Phillip.

Now the ache was back. I’d only known these men a few weeks. Was I letting the physical override common sense? Maybe, but it didn’t feel like it.

I just didn’t know what it felt like instead, or where to start untangling everything churning inside me.

We kept talking, and I didn’t realize I’d fallen asleep until I woke up with Dustin wrapped around me. This was so comforting and right.

“Too early,” Dustin mumbled against my back.

It really was. Sadness whispered through me as his fight with Phillip rushed back, but it was sandwiched between two wonderful moments. Dustin and Phillip would be okay today, right? This was the kind of thing they could talk through and things would be all right?

Why did it matter so much to me? It was their argument.

But it did matter, even if I couldn’t put the why into words.

The mattress shifted as Dustin sat up. “Yesterday was amazing,” his voice was heavy with sleep and the huskiness was enticing. “The sex at the office, but also talking last night.”

No mention of Phillip.

“I’ll drop you at home so you can get ready, and meet you at the office,” Dustin said.

“Sounds good.”

We got dressed and we were on our way.

I couldn’t handle another drive full of silence. Not with my brain bursting to capacity with questions. “What are we?” My question tumbled out without a point of reference.

Dustin drummed a thumb on the steering wheel. “People? Skin sacks full of water?”

“Friends? Co-workers? Lovers?” I hadn’t lost the ability to be painfully direct and blunt. Go, me.

“Every day at work is a struggle to prove my credibility. A former co-worker is accusing me of plagiarism. I just found out the person I thought was in this with me through everything, one of my closest friends, was keeping a massive secret… I don’t know if you want to hold any of those labels,” Dustin said. “I don’t know much of anything right now. Except that you probably aren’t capable of lying to me.”

There was that.

Dustin pulled up in front of my apartment building. He squeezed my hand before I climbed out of the SUV. “See you at the office.”

I nodded and forced a smile, then headed inside. I rushed through my morning routine, and headed into the office. Dustin was already there, no surprise, and he looked up from his work long enough to give me a weak smile.

Phillip arrived a short while later, announcing himself with a hey.

Dustin scowled and pushed back from his desk, managing to make rolling wheels squeal on linoleum. “I have some calls to make.” He headed into the vacant office and shut the door behind himself.

So much for everything being better this morning.

“I’ll give him some time to cool off, then talk to him,” Phillip said.

Apologize?It wasn’t my place to correct him, so I nodded.