Dark Need by Clarissa Wild

Chapter 18

Soren

My cock is finallyhard no more.

So long has it been confined in that cage that I forgot what it felt like. What it was like for my skin to be naked, for my body to be mine.

And I forgot what it was like to want freely.

My desires took control … and I let my lust take over.

My hands ball into fists as I stare at my own cock, deflated after three rounds of emptying its contents inside of that woman’s perfect pussy.

A feeling I can only describe as heavenly.

If I had known it would be like that, I would’ve ripped that cage off sooner. But it was there for a reason. It had a purpose.

And it fucking failed thanks to my inability to stop her from taking it off.

Fuck.

I quickly put on my pants, but it doesn’t erase what happened. And it feels so strange to wear these soft fabrics over my now naked cock. It’s been so long, I don’t think I can get used to it fast.

But worst of all … how am I supposed to face the House, my people, and myself after this?

Because now that I’ve had a taste, how could I ever put the metal back on again?

I gaze at the door through which she ran, and I suck in a deep breath. I wanted nothing more than to fuck her again and again.

Until she threw me that look.

Pure shock and aversion.

That’s all I saw.

And it wounded me.

It was the first time I realized my actions may have an effect on her too. That I … took something from her. Just like I would when I would torture people in my dungeon.

But this didn’t stem from punishments.

She didn’t deserve what I gave to her.

It was my own selfish needs that drove me to take. To need. To want.

I’ve never needed or wanted for anything … until her.

I never took like that before.

And when she marched into that room, I knew I fucked up.

The silence she leaves in her wake is deafening.

Even though my cock is finally satiated, finally freed from its painful confinement, I am still not satisfied. No one told me that after such a delicious release, the aftermath would be so painful.

And that it would make her glare at me the way she did.

I will never forget that look.

It’s marred into my brain, and I want nothing more than to rip it out and tear it apart.

But I can’t.

Rage boils to the surface, and I throw over the table in my anger. My adrenaline from the sex still rages through my body, and I take it all out on the furniture in this cabin. When I’m done, I storm outside and slam the door shut behind me.

I don’t care if it’s not even daytime yet.

I need to release this pent-up fury.

I need to … atone for my sin.

* * *

April

It takesme a while to stop panting.

It’s as if I can’t wake up from one of my filthiest dreams ever.

But what just happened was no dream.

Because my pussy is still soaking wet … and his cum still drips from me.

My hand slides down to between my legs, and I look at my fingers while my pussy still thumps from the hard fuck that it just endured, and I swallow hard.

It’s more cum than I thought any man could release.

I just never knew any man was capable of this much … hard, rough sex.

When noise ensues from the room beyond the door, I put my hands over my ears and wait until the bangs stop. After, I lower my hands and glance over my shoulder. It’s completely devoid of sound now, so I wonder if he stopped.

Still, I can’t bear to face him right now.

Instead, I make a face and go to the sink, where I wash my hands and look at myself in the mirror. Who is this girl staring back at me? This girl who so easily gave in to having sex with her captor? Who not only let him have his way with her but enjoyed it too?

I wanna punch that girl in the face.

But I can’t.

I don’t deserve pain.

I stare down at the water, wishing I hadn’t made the decision to free him from his bonds. Maybe then I wouldn’t have had to deal with the fact that I feel like my body betrayed me. I wanted him when I knew I shouldn’t, when I knew it was wrong. And I did it anyway because I didn’t want him to suffer … because I made him suffer.

My seduction is what caused him to overload.

And when I found him lying on that couch, screaming in pain, I had to act.

I just didn’t know what it would cost me.

I suck in a breath and look at myself with my head held high.

I won’t let my demons win.

This is my only chance, my only way out.

And if he wants to use me for my body … then I will use him for my freedom.

So I quickly clean up the mess between my legs and grab a few clean clothes from the drawer in the room. Some tight leggings, a pair of clean undies and a bra, as well as a casual sweater. Not too hot, not too cold, a bit on the small side, but it fits snugly.

As I stand in front of the door, I take another deep breath and grab the door handle. My hand shakes. I stop it with my other hand and push down.

My jaw immediately drops the moment I open it, and I’m frozen to the floor.

Soren is missing.

And the entire cabin has been thrown asunder from head to toe, furniture turned over everywhere, broken vases, shattered plates, a smashed chair.

Oh my God.

Why would he do this?

I step through the rubble, trying not to get snared on something or twist my foot. I search for him in the other rooms, but they’re all empty.

Did he … leave me?

Adrenaline courses through my body, and I immediately rush to the door, terrified of being left out here alone in the woods. But the terror immediately subsides when I spot him standing over a giant log with an ax in his hand. His biceps tense up, and he holds the ax up and throws it back down again with a powerful swing, splitting the wood in half.

I let out a breath to calm myself down, although I do wonder why I panicked. Why I thought he’d leave me by myself … after doing what he did.

I swallow and clutch a tree as I watch him toil around, his brows furrowed, sweat dripping down his face. The sun hasn’t even come up yet, and here he is chopping wood like it’s no one’s business with only a small lantern to light the place. And it casts an eerie shadow on his body.

As the ax hits the block, he wipes away some of the sweat and looks up.

Our eyes meet, and I’m momentarily stunned.

Not just by how powerful and dangerous he looks when he swings a weapon like that …

But also because of the way he looks at me.

So full of betrayal and hate.

Hate … not directed at me.

But the hate is definitely there.

It’s the same look I saw when I stared into the mirror, and it takes my breath away.

Does he feel … guilty?

I lick my lip and bite on it, contemplating what to do. If I have the guts to go over there and talk to him.

One brief look, and he’s right back to chopping wood in the most aggressive way I’ve ever seen. Still, I suck in a breath and hold my head high while I walk over to him. When I’m right in front of him, he keeps on cutting the wood like it means nothing.

“Look at me,” I say.

He pauses, digging the ax into the next piece of wood like it’s weightless even though it looks heavy as fuck to me.

And when he stands tall, his arms broad, muscles taut, while towering over me … I can’t help but feel overwhelmed and overpowered.

Is that why I gave in so easily?

I gulp, forcing the thought to the back of my mind.

“We need to talk,” I say, folding my arms.

He merely raises a brow at me. “Nothing to talk about.”

I take a step closer and put my hands against my sides. “Yes, there is.”

“It shouldn’t have happened,” he growls.

My brows furrow as I fight the anger. “It shouldn’t have happened? That’s all you’re going to say?”

He picks up the ax again as though he’s unbothered by my words, but I know he can hear me.

“You fucked me,” I say out loud, not afraid to speak the words. He chops into the next piece of wood again and briefly glances at me like that’s all the acknowledgment I’m going to get.

Tears form in my eyes, but I will them down. “You took my virginity.”

* * *

Soren

I pausemid-swing and look at her with great intent. “Virginity?”

She was a … virgin?

Untouched, unspoiled.

And I … took it from her.

“You owe me this,” she hisses through gritted teeth.

I look down at the ground between my feet, the ax dangling in my hand.

She’s right. I do.

But the fact that she just told me she was a virgin only makes this weigh harder on me.

“I … did not know,” I respond.

“No, shit. I don’t go around telling people I’ve never had sex before,” she spits. “Do you?”

I look away, unable to gaze into her eyes because it makes my heart ache, and I don’t fucking know why. I’ve never felt this kind of pain. Physical pain, that I know well. Blood seeping wounds, scratches, slicing, squeezing, suffocation. I know those kinds of pain all too well.

But this? This is unfamiliar territory for me.

And not knowing what to do makes me antsy.

“The cult that took me captive before they sent me to your House only accepted women if they were virgins,” she says. “No one else. They wanted us for our bodies, to force us to … have sex and marry a man.” She swallows, her eyes searching for a truth she can’t seem to find. “Point is, I was still a virgin, even after I got sent to your damn House.”

She looks me in the eyes, fury hiding behind them. “That was my first time ever, and you took it from me.”

The hurt in her eyes is too much to swallow, too much to bear. I clutch the ax tighter, unable to keep the rage at bay. She wants to blame me, but I am not the one who pulled the trigger.

“You destroyed my belt,” I growl back.

“What?” She scoffs. “Really? I was trying to help you.”

“I didn’t ask,” I retort.

“You were in pain!” she yells in my face.

I take a step closer. “And I warned you not to!”

We’re right in each other’s faces, but she doesn’t seem scared at all, despite the fact that my frame alone should instill fear in the hearts of my captives. “That’s not an excuse, and it doesn’t mean you can just go around and fuck people whenever you want!”

“You were hot for me, woman,” I reply.

A blush creeps onto her cheeks, but it disappears as the fury engulfs her in flames. And suddenly, she slaps me in the face. Hard.

I’m shocked she’d even have the guts.

The sting isn’t painful, but the scornful look in her eyes makes it hard to stomach.

“You deserved that,” she says, pointing at me.

I grumble and grind my teeth.

She slams her fists against my chest. “Motherfucker!”

I let her punch me a few times. Not because I like it, but because maybe, just maybe, it’ll calm her down a little.

“Why don’t you fucking fight back, asshole?!” she yells, still slamming her fists into me. “Why don’t you say something? Coward.”

I grab her wrist and stop her midair.

“I am no coward.”

She makes another face. “Why can’t you just talk to me like a normal human being? Why can’t you just apologize?”

I swallow as the air between us grows thick with tension, my own rage boiling to the surface now. “Because we were punished for it.”

She stops, and her lips part, her jaw dropping slightly.

But none of her surprise makes my anger go away.

Nothing I do or say to her will make this go away.

Nothing will ever quell the filthy, dark needs in my body.

And nothing will ever calm the storm raging in my heart.

So with a roar, I chuck the ax in the tree behind me and then storm off.