Dark Need by Clarissa Wild

Chapter 19

Soren

Age 14

I slamthe hammer into the nail, and it hits the boy’s back. Ink spreads underneath his skin, and a cry leaves his mouth. He clutches his legs together while trying to contain himself, but the tears still flow freely across his cheeks. His small frame is barely big enough to handle the needle going into his skin again and again.

Just a little boy, maybe six or seven years old, already made to endure this pain.

I hit the nail again just a little bit farther, and another whimper leaves his mouth.

“I’m sorry,” I say.

WHACK!

The whip comes down on my back so fast I hiss from the pain.

“CONTROL YOURSELF,” my trainer barks at me. “Do not speak. And do not say sorry.”

The boy looks at me with tears in his eyes, but I don’t say another word. I don’t fear the pain of the whip because I know pain, but I don’t want to make this last any longer than it has to.

Any word I say will be used to teach me a lesson.

To teach this boy a lesson.

“No one said sorry to you, now did they, Soren?” my trainer quips as she comes to stand beside me, throwing me a look. “No one feels sorry for you, for him, or any other fighter here.”

It’s true.

I remember sitting right on this very bench here when I was just as little, my skin getting punctured with ink by someone else who was the age I am now, accompanied by a trainer watching their every move.

History repeats itself over and over.

Because we must follow the rules.

Because there is no greater thing than our honor and the people we protect.

She bends over, leaning on her knees, and looks at the boy. “Today, you become a man.”

This is what they do.

They put us up against each other.

Try to make us see there is no way out but forward.

Fight through the pain, fight through the tears, and don’t ever feel sorry.

In the end, it will all be worth it.

* * *

April

Present

I haven’t seenor spoken to Soren in hours.

I don’t know if he’s still around, and I don’t know what to do about that. Though I doubt he would just leave me stranded in a cabin in the middle of nowhere.

He wanted to complete his job more than anything, and that means keeping me safe. So he must be close by. Just not close enough so I can see him.

But the mess in this cabin almost makes it impossible to navigate around, so I opt to enter my bedroom instead. Sighing, I lie down on the bed and stare up at the ceiling, images of him pounding into me flashing through my head.

My body gets flustered, so I grab a pillow to cover my face, and I scream out loud.

Goddammit, why can’t I get him and his hot fuckery out of my head?

It was wrong, so wrong, and I hate him for doing what he did, for taking from me what wasn’t his to take.

Yet … it felt so … fucking good.

That every time I think about it, I get wet all over again.

And I shouldn’t. I know that.

But how am I supposed to stop my body from reacting to him the way it does?

Just think of something else.

Think of flowers. Think of the sea. Think of vacation. Of being home.

Home … that would be nice. I would open my bakery to earn some hard money and work on getting my loans paid off so I can fulfill the promise I made to my parents before they died. I am going to make it.

And I am never, ever going to trust men again.

Because all they ever do is cheat and have sex.

That’s all their brains are hardwired for.

Sex, sex, sex.

Even if they hurt the woman they care about, even if they made a vow of abstinence together … none of it matters.

I cover my face again with the pillow as I’m embarrassed for even thinking about my ex.

Why did I go there?

None of it is even remotely relatable.

Eric is somewhere out there with his new fling, and I’m … here … caught up in a whirlwind of my own making with a man who acts more like a beast than a man.

Groaning, I turn around on the bed, forcing myself to stop thinking about it.

Focus on your future, April. Focus on your escape. And focus … on not letting yourself get enticed into having dirty, raunchy sex with the mountain man right outside.

* * *

Soren

After I’ve chopped allthe blocks we need to keep the place warm, I throw them into the wooden box behind the cabin and blow out a breath. Time to gather the courage to go back inside and face the girl.

Why can’t this just be easy?

Whenever I tortured a woman in my dungeon, her cries never made me stop. Not until I’d completed my job. Yet this girl manages to make me feel … weak.

And if there’s anything I hate, it’s feeling weak.

But how do I fix this?

I can’t go back in time and undo what happened.

She shouldn’t have ripped off the metal. I warned her what would happen, and she did it anyway.

And why did she want to help me?

Why did she even care how painful that metal was for me?

She’s a captive. My captive.

She’s supposed to hate me.

She isn’t supposed to … feel pity for me.

And it makes me want to lash out.

I throw my ax in the same box and stomp back inside wearing a scowl that predicts thunder. But when I look around, she’s nowhere to be seen. Rage fills me again, and I throw open every door I can find, leaving nothing unscathed. Until I find her snoring lightly in her bed with rosy cheeks and tearstained eyes.

I breathe a sigh of relief.

For a moment there, I almost thought she had actually run.

Like she would be foolish enough to try to escape me, let alone survive out there in the wild.

No, she wouldn’t do something that stupid. Not her.

I gaze at her while she’s asleep. She looks so peaceful. Like she’s dreaming about nice things. Things I’ve never dreamed about … except right before she ripped the metal off my body.

My nostrils flare. She brought this onto herself.

That metal was there to protect her, not me. She shouldn’t have dared to tame the beast.

Now I’m free, and the pain no longer exists. And every time I look at her, my body hardens, and I want nothing more than to drag her out of that bed and fuck her against the wall.

My cock swells in my pants, and my eyes pinch as I expect a wave of pain.

But it doesn’t come.

Instead, there is only hunger.

Unbridled hunger … for her.

I backtrack and shut the door, staring at the wood for a second before my eyes slide down toward my own wood. The one in my pants. It’s thick and throbbing even though I came just hours ago.

Am I already greedy for more?

Fuck.

I clench my hands into fists, wanting to push the need away with pure force of will, but it doesn’t work. This kind of hunger is different than any I’ve experienced before. It isn’t laced in blood, and it doesn’t make me want to kill.

It makes me want to … lick.

And suck.

And fuck.

And kiss.

I’ve never wanted to kiss.

I try to shake it off, as it feels unnatural. I enter the kitchen and grab a glass from the cupboard, fill it with water, and chug it down in one go. But it doesn’t quench my thirst. Not by a long shot.

In fact, it feels like I’ve been deprived.

Like I’ve been starving all this time.

And now that the metal is off, the feast can finally begin.

But she is my captive, the one I’m supposed to keep safe. The one I’m supposed to take to our destination when all of this ends.

And I don’t fucking know if we’ll survive.

Grumbling to myself, I slump down into the sofa and relax, hoping to catch some sleep. Instead, I find myself thinking about the girl’s pussy, how snugly it fit around my cock, and how wet she was for me.

I swallow, and my hand instinctively goes down into my pants. I shove the waistband down until my cock bounces out, the veins throbbing and the tip leaking. Touching it feels so fucking good, and I start rubbing myself with the thought of touching her too.

I know it’s wrong, but I don’t care.

I need this.

I need this fucking release so I can go back to how I was.

I need this … to get back in control.

So I jerk myself off, my cock twitching into my hand as images of her naked body cross my mind, her supple tits bouncing while she lies on the table, her moans loud and heady.

And fuck me, I want to see that face she made when I buried deep inside her again.

I groan out loud, and cum shoots from my cock, all over my body. It comes and comes in waves until I’m panting. When my length has finally deflated, I let go and look away.

I’ve really gone off the deep end.

There’s no stopping it now.

I’ve tasted the forbidden fruit.

I’ve felt what forbidden lust can do.

And fuck me … it’s going to destroy me.

But what angers me more is that I broke the one thing I wasn’t supposed to.

Her.