Remission by Ofelia Martinez

Chapter 26

Fight of Fights

My driver witnessed my breakdown on the car ride home. The tears I was so hell-bent on keeping from Hector spilled over with gusto. The driver looked in his rear-view mirror several times and asked if I was okay. I could only nod.

When I arrived at my apartment, I didn’t even try to get to bed. I knew I wouldn’t sleep. My entire body was the nucleus of a bomb amassing energy before it detonated.

I’d loved him, and he had loved me back, but he took our chance away. I had no say in the outcome. I’d never felt so powerless.

It was like mourning, but I went straight to the second stage of grief: Anger. I left his house because I wanted to hit him and didn’t like the violence that was building in me. A violence fueled by the passion of the moments leading up to the argument.

I rummaged through the storage bin under my bed and pulled out a gift box almost nine years old. It was wrapped in navy blue paper and tied off with an orange ribbon.

Opening the gift in front of everyone hadn’t seemed appropriate, but then I’d forgotten about it after the party. It was placed in a box when I moved into a larger apartment. By the time I came across it again, the fallout had already taken place, and I couldn’t bring myself to open it.

I’d come close a few times but never committed. Over the years, I would think about him and wonder what was in the box, but then the anger would wash over me, and I’d always put it away again.

I undid the frayed ribbon. Hopefully, it wasn’t chocolate or something edible that had long ago turned rancid. I felt the heavy weight of it in my hands as I had so many times before. Breaking through the paper, I realized it was a book. I ran my fingers over the soft leather-bound tome. I turned it over to read the front cover and found the title of Jane Eyre.

When he went to my house on my birthday that day so long ago, I had found him in my room, frozen in place as he stared at the wall. I’d always assumed it was the copy of his paper that had glued him to his spot. I had thought he believed me to be a stalker but realizing now what he had brought as a gift, I had to believe he was in awe that he’d unknowingly selected my favorite book.

My eyes stung with tears. Anger and empathy battled within my body for a place in my heart. I wanted to forgive him, and I wanted to scratch his eyes out, all in the same breath.

It was reckless to drive back to his place with the rage still blinding me, but I was drawn to him even in my anger. We’d almost slept together, and I was too restless to go to sleep.

I gave myself several hours to calm down and returned to his house at four in the morning.

“Carolina?” Hector asked sleepily as he opened his front door. His bedhead waves fell over his forehead, and he wore a white t-shirt with light-blue pajama bottoms.

Not waiting for an invitation, I let myself in. As I closed the door, I leaned on it, needing the balance for strength.

“How could you do it?” I asked, and a tear rolled down my cheek.

“How could I not? Tell me you wouldn’t have done the same thing had the situation been reversed and it had been you threatening my career. You wouldn’t have stayed away too?”

“I don’t know. But I would have talked to you about it.”

“I couldn’t.” He swallowed hard, and his Adam’s apple bobbed. “I knew you would convince me that we could work it out, and I would have been weak. I couldn’t chance it. I’m so, so, sorry.”

He stepped forward and wiped away my tear with his thumb. “Please believe it was one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to do.”

I nodded but took his hand away from my cheek. He kept his hand in mine and led me to the couch to sit next to him. The entire house was dark; he hadn’t turned on a single light when he opened the door.

“I’m glad you came back.”

“I’m not sure why I did. I mean, I had to cool off. Your instincts were right. I did want to hit you earlier.”

He chuckled. “My instincts are always right.” His white teeth almost glowed in the dark through his grin.

“I can think of at least one time when they weren’t,” I said, and I knew it was like a dagger to him.

“What’s it going to take for you to forgive me?”

“Forgiving has never come hard to me, Hector. It’s not about forgiveness. I’m not sure I can trust you.” And that was the truth of it. I wasn’t one to hold a grudge, with scarce exception. It was incredibly easy to forgive the people I loved, but this was so different. A grudge I didn’t know I’d been holding, for perhaps the first time in my life, had been brewing for years.

“That hurts,” he admitted.

“I’m sorry. I’m not trying to be hurtful—just honest.”

“I know.” A strand of hair fell over my eyes, and Hector swept it back, tucking it behind my ear. “But I’m still glad you are back. Even if it’s to wound me,” he said.

“I um—” I cleared my throat. “I opened your gift,” I said.

Hector’s brows drew together. “My gift?”

“My birthday gift—”

He thought for a moment. “Do you mean from when I first came to Heartland Metro Hospital? The cookout for your birthday?”

I nodded.

“You hadn’t opened it before now?”

I shook my head.

“That’s a bit odd.”

“Why did you pick that book?”

“What, Jane Eyre? I do have to say I was very surprised to find a poster of it in your room. But, um, I guess you reminded me of Jane.”

“I reminded you of Jane? And more importantly, you’ve read it?”

“Don’t get too excited. It was a college assignment, but it wasn’t bad.”

“Please don’t give me more reasons to want to stab you,” I said, and he threw his head back with laughter.

“Okay, it was good. Happy?”

“No. Not even a little. You still haven’t told me why I reminded you of Jane. I’m nothing like her. She is small, and I am super tall. She’s plain and simple, and I’m more of a fiery, in-your-face kind of a presence, or so I’ve been told.”

Hector chuckled. “Well, you are right on all accounts. But you are also otherworldly, like Jane. You can’t be from this planet. You are so . . . rare. Mainly though, if I remember correctly, Jane was Rochester’s equal, as you were—are—mine. No one else could understand either of them on a deeper level, but they didn’t have to even speak to know what was in the other’s heart.”

“For someone who only read it for a college assignment, you have a pretty good understanding of the novel. I read it once a year—at least.”

Hector gave me a side-glance but didn’t comment further.

“What about the last seven years?” I asked him.

“What about them?”

“There hasn’t been anyone in your life in that time? A St. John—if you will?”

“No.” Hector shook his head. “I dated, especially those first few years. I was trying to forget you, but nothing ever got serious. It’s hard to try to grow feelings for someone when you know your soul mate is elsewhere.”

I scoffed. “We are scientists. How can you believe in soul mates?”

“I didn’t use to.” Hector cupped my hand in both of his and pressed it to his chest. He kept a grip on it, not letting me have my hand back. “But I’m not exaggerating when I say everything changed with you.”

A long stretch of silence followed as I thought of what to say next. I wasn’t sure why I was back here. I only knew I had no freewill to stay away.

“What about you?” Hector asked after a moment.

“What about me?”

“It killed me to think of you with Ramiro or with someone else all these years. It was excruciating not getting on a flight and claiming you as mine.”

“Really?” My anger was rising again. “It always comes back to this. What is it with you and Ramiro? He is family. Always has been, always will be.”

“So, you never got together with him after I left?”

“No!”

Hector let out a breath he had been holding.

“If you must know,” I said. “In the last seven years, Ramiro has had two great loves. Neither of whom was me. Now, he is very happily married, and very much still someone I consider family.”

“And there hasn’t been anyone else?” he asked.

“Like you, I dated some, but nothing ever came of it. I was too focused on work, and most men can’t handle a schedule as busy as mine.”

Now that my sight had adjusted to the dark, I could make out Hector’s face as his nostrils flared.

“I want to kill, just thinking about you with anyone else,” he admitted.

“Don’t be a hypocrite. You just told me you dated as well.”

“And how did you like hearing that, baby?”

I shifted in my seat. I hadn’t liked it one bit, and immediately wanted to know names, how long they had lasted, and all the sordid details. But I wasn’t about to admit that to him.

“Are you back to stay the night with me, Carolina?”

My body answered before I could, and I found myself nodding. He stood and helped me up from the sofa. He then took me by surprise and lifted me off the ground. My legs wrapped around his waist, and my arms clutched around the back of his neck. It was amazing that he could carry me—I wasn’t a light little feather like Sara, but this man was strong.

He kissed the tip of my nose before speaking again. “I won’t be able to take you leaving again. It will drive me to insanity. Please tell me you are here to stay.”

“I think I am,” I said.

“At least promise you won’t get mad at me again for the remainder of the night.”

“You know I can’t promise that.”

Hector squeezed my ass, and I squealed. “Could you at least try?” he asked.

I nodded, and my jaw dropped when he carried me all the way upstairs and into his room without so much as a grunt.

Once in his room, he pressed me up against a wall, and my legs unfurled away from him, my feet finding the ground once again. I took his shirt off over his head, and my hands explored his upper body.

His shoulders and arms were massive, and his chest was firm, but his abdominal muscles weren’t too obvious. I’d never really understood the fascination most women have with a six-pack. Hector was slim at the waist. An understated shadow hinted at the muscles beneath his tanned skin, but there were no overly pronounced striations.

But what really made my mouth water was the v-cut line of muscles that peeked out from above his pajama bottoms and pointed downward like a beacon leading me to my prize.

He flipped me over, and I gasped with the surprise of his sudden movements. I held onto the wall for balance as he slowly drew down the zipper of my dress. The soft caress of his fingers followed the trail of the zipper sliding down my back.

Damn it. Hector was taking too much time. I needed him now. I pulled off the rest of my dress from my upper body with urgency and turned around, not caring that I hadn’t worn a bra. He raised his hands in surrender as I untied the string of his pajama bottoms. He chuckled at my desperate movements, the bastard.

“Here,” he said, and carried me to his bed. He threw me on the mattress unceremoniously and peeled off the rest of my dress and pantyhose. He stepped back to look at me, and I suddenly became aware that I was splayed out in front of him in only a black thong. “Carolina,” he said with a hoarse voice. “You are so fucking beautiful.”

I shot up with his words, sitting on the edge of the mattress. I hooked my fingers to the waistband of both his bottoms and boxer briefs, helping him out of both.

He sprang free, and I gulped at the sight of his erection, facing me and pointing upward. He didn’t say anything as I explored him. I placed a hand around his shaft and squeezed gently, feeling his girth. Hector drew in a breath at the touch, and a small drop of pre-cum escaped him. I rubbed it with my thumb around the head and brought my thumb to my mouth, licking it. The flavor of him in my mouth quickened my breathing.

My intention was to draw him into my mouth, I wanted to taste him, but he pulled out of my grip before my tongue reached its desire.

“Tsk, tsk,” he said. “Not yet. I won’t be able to last if you do that, and I want to devour you, baby.”

I swallowed, even as I was denied what I wanted most. Still, his words stirred inside me, and I felt my pussy contract in response.

He pushed me gently by the shoulders until I lay back onto the bed. He was on top of me in no time.

When he kissed me the second time, it was different. This was not the exploration of tentative lovemaking, full of sweetness like his kiss earlier in the night. This kiss—it was all desire and hunger. He made good on his promise and devoured my mouth. His lips crushed mine, and his tongue played roughly with mine like he couldn’t get enough, making me squirm under him.

His cock rested on me, his shaft nestled gently between the seam at my center, and my hips raised forward, searching for the head, wanting him inside me. He let out a deep chuckle at my desperation, and I could have killed him right then and there.

“My eager little Carolina,” he said, admonishing me. “We have all night. What is the rush?”

“The rush,” I said in a breathy voice, “is that we have been waiting a decade.” I circled my hips, rubbing my clit against the shaft of his cock, seeking my pleasure.

His eyes darkened, and I was almost afraid of what I saw in them—almost. He looked wild, like a starving savage.

His mouth trailed down my body as he pinned me to the bed by my shoulders. He let go of his grip when his mouth reached my pubic bone, and his hands found themselves on my thighs, spreading my legs even wider.

With his index finger, he pulled my thong to the side. There was a gentle caress, teasing at my entrance, and my body writhed at the touch.

“What do you want, Carolina?”

“I want you.” Damn it, I wanted him now.

“Say it, baby. What do you want from me?” His stubble scratched my inner thigh as his finger continued to toy at my entrance, not giving me what I wanted. I was about to cry.

“I want your mouth,” I said.

“Like this?” He slid his finger deeper in me and gave me a gentle kiss on the outside of my pussy. I groaned.

“No. I want your tongue on me.”

“Oh, you mean like this?” He licked at the outer lip of my pussy, as his finger twirled inside me.

“Hector, damn it! I want you to lick my clit!” I surprised myself at how loud I had said it, but my bluntness was rewarded. He chuckled as the tip of his tongue circled my clitoris gently.

He made a soft mmmm sound, and the sound vibrations were unlike anything I’d ever felt. He was unreal.

“Oh, Hector.” My eyes rolled back with pleasure. He flicked his tongue a little faster and slid a second finger inside me, sending me reeling. I grabbed a fistful of fabric from the bedsheets and held on for life. My thighs clenched, and he pulled his fingers out of me to stabilize my legs wide and open like he wanted them.

“No!” I protested, the emptiness leaving me nearly in tears.

“Then, don’t close your legs for me, got it?”

I nodded rapidly, wanting to be rewarded. What the hell? Where was the polite and respectable Hector Medina? This Hector was all teasing and power and hunger. I fucking loved it. While I didn’t want him calling the shots in my career, I definitely didn’t mind him calling the shots when he had his way with me.

He returned his attention to my pussy, and this time he plunged three fingers inside me, stretching me further. I was so wet by that point, there was no pain at the extra width of the fingers inside.

His tongue rolled once again over my clit, this time picking up speed, and his fingers went in and out of me more rapidly each time. When he curled his fingers slightly upward, finding that spot, I couldn’t take it anymore.

“Hector, No! Please stop, I’m going to come.” I didn’t want to. Not yet. I wanted his cock inside me when I came.

“Yes, baby. Come for me. I want you dripping down all the way to my wrist,” he said and pushed his fingers deeper inside me.

A familiar tension coiled in my core, and bursts of white lights set off behind my eyes as my body answered him, giving him what he commanded.

My orgasm came in waves, and my abdominal muscles spasmed with the pleasure. My pussy clenched around his fingers. And his mouth left me.

“Oh, Carolina,” he said hoarsely at the sensation around his fingers.

He stood, and I momentarily panicked. “Where are you going?”

“I’m just going to the dresser. Need to grab a condom.”

“Wait,” I said. I couldn’t look at him, but I needed to ask. I wanted to feel him, and not between a layer of latex. “I’m on birth control. I have an IUD,” I said. “And I’m clean. I’m sure of it. Would you want to . . .” I trailed off, not able to finish my thought.

Shit. What the hell was happening? Where was the confident and assertive Carolina Ramirez? Being naked with each other had seemed to reduce both of us to repressed personality traits we avoided in our everyday lives and careers.

“Carolina, you are my every dream come true,” Hector said and finished peeling off my thong. I welcomed him with open thighs as he found his way back on top of me.

One of his hands went to the back of my head, holding me in place for a kiss, just as he had earlier in the night. The tip of his cock played at my entrance, and I writhed beneath him, trying to get him deeper inside me. I groaned in his mouth, and my reward was another inch of him.

He pushed in slowly, stretching me inch by inch in the most gentle way. I was so wet that there was nothing but pleasure, and just when I didn’t think he could possibly go inside me any deeper, he thrust in another inch, and then another.

I hunkered down, taking in his cock and adjusting to the size. I’d never been with a man this big, and I thought it might be painful when I first saw him, but it wasn’t. It was the most delicious stretch of my life.

“Are you okay?” he asked between kisses.

“Yes,” I said, and my legs wrapped around him, my ankles pushing on his ass so I could have him deeper.

“Yes, ma’am,” he said teasingly, and pulled out of me almost entirely, then drove in again with force.

I screamed his name and cursed in the same breath, and he was amused by all of it. He was paying close attention, finding my eyes even when I tried to look away. He was studying me. He wanted to know what my body reacted to—what I liked. Hector Medina was conducting research on my body.

He pulled out again, this time staying away, with only his tip inside me. “Please, Hector, please come back,” I begged.

His mouth found me first, and he drove his tongue in my mouth before he drove his cock deep inside again. I moaned into his mouth, my eyes shut tight, and that coil started building again.

My legs tightened around him, and I dug my fingertips in his back—luckily, like all doctors, I had short nails and didn’t scratch him. Or at least I didn’t think I had.

I took my mouth away from him, gasping for air, and my head rolled back as the second orgasm hit. My pussy tightened around him as I came, and it only made him thrust harder, sending me over the edge again.

He was wild now, his eyes darkened like a sinister, other-worldly being as he pounded into me. My pussy was still contracting from the orgasm when he plunged deep inside me and remained there. A groan that escaped from deep within him followed as he came shortly after I did. I realized he’d been trying to hold out until I came again—like a gentleman.

He pressed his forehead to my collar bone and tried to catch his breath. My arms embraced him around the neck, and I couldn’t help running my fingers through his hair.

“I’m never letting you get away again,” he said between breaths and while he was still inside me. He kissed my left breast and looked up at me. “But more importantly, I’ll never again give you a reason to want to go.”