The Exception by Lauren H. Mae

Thirty-seven

Trav tossed back the rest of his coffee, stuffing his travel mug in his backpack. Last night his body had begged for sleep after his third shift of the week, but his mind wouldn’t hear it. He’d tossed and turned well-past a chance at eight hours, and he’d ended up sleeping on the couch to avoid Sonya’s pillow. Now he was paying for it.

He knew Sonya would be unhappy about him going to see Frank, but that… that reaction had caught him off guard. And it had his stomach twisted.

The thing was, she was right. About some of it. He knew what he was doing was walking a line. That’s why he hadn’t told her. He could admit that, but for fuck’s sake, didn’t he get any credit for helping a guy who obviously needed it? And for recognizing the way to get through to him?

Sonya was always going on about tailoring the treatment to the patient. He’d learned that from her, and this was no different.

Except apparently he didn’t get to make those calls, at work or on his own time. Because that’s what she was saying—even outside those walls, it was her way or nothing. And as soon as they had a disagreement, she’d drawn a line. She didn’t even want to talk about it.

It was all very familiar.

He threw his stuff in his locker and headed to the sixth floor, bracing himself to see her. By the time he’d made it to the nurse’s station, he’d decided he was being unfair. Not telling her about Frank had been untruthful at best and he needed to own up to that. He’d catch her before the day got started and they’d talk.

If she’d talk to him. After what she’d said in that closet, he wasn’t sure.

The first hour of his shift was balls to the wall. Two new admits and a patient who needed a transport. Trav hadn’t had a moment to talk to Sonya other than in passing. It was torture, knowing things weren’t right between them and they couldn’t even discuss it.

When they’d finally caught a break to breathe, he let his arm brush hers as they turned the corner to the pharmacy, making sure it was completely undetectable to anyone who might have seen, but enough so she’d know it was intentional.

It was a peace offering and he prayed she’d take it.

To his relief, she stopped and turned to him.

“Can we talk, please?”

She glanced around the hall and lowered her voice. “Trav—”

“Intern Travis.” The sound of heels on tile and Abi Chen’s voice interrupted them. He quickly shoved his hands in his pockets.

He cleared his throat and replaced what he was sure was a desperate expression with his most professional smile. “Yes?”

“I need to see you in my office.” She looked at Sonya, her mouth a flat line. “Nurse Pope, join us.”

He nearly groaned. Talk about shit timing. This might be the only chance he had all day to clear the air with Sonya. He didn’t have time for some admin meeting or schedule revision, which was about the only time he met with Nurse Chen.

“Of course, Abi.” Sonya nodded, falling into step with her boss. She tossed a quick look over her shoulder but Trav couldn’t read it. Was it a we’ll talk later look or a saved by the bell look?

It didn’t matter, though. When Nurse Chen opened the door to her office, Trav forgot all about how to get back in Sonya’s good graces. There was someone else there to worry about.

Jack Travis leaned against the back wall, fiddling with his watch and Trav’s stomach dropped. He knew that smug look peeking out from his father’s downturned face. If his father was pleased to be there, Trav was about to be displeased.

What the fuck was happening?

“Take a seat.” Nurse Chen gestured to Sonya first, and she took the chair closest to the desk.

Trav ignored the directive, his hackles up. He’d always taken his ass-chewings standing up. Why quit now?

Nurse Chen folded her hands on the table. “It’s come to my attention, Ben—”

“Trav,” he bit out.

She paused, her face tightening. “Intern Travis, it’s come to my attention that you’ve exhibited some serious misjudgment when it comes to one of our patients, Frank Devers. It’s been reported to me that you made a visit to him at his halfway house last week. Now, I know you and Frank have developed a rapport, but hospital policy prohibits outside contact with patients—”

“He wasn’t a patient anymore.”

“Trav,” Sonya whispered. He shot her a look. Apparently it was three against one.

Abi continued. “He wasn’t currently under our care but that was because he left AMA. We don’t treat patients at their homes, and you don’t treat patients at all.”

Trav shook his head. This was incredible. He wasn’t treating anyone. He was helping another human being. Just like the plane, when Sonya had accused him of impersonating a doctor because he’d seen to someone’s obvious need.

Wait. Was this just like the plane?

Something in his chest cracked wide open at the reminder. She wouldn’t have.

He tried to catch Sonya’s eye but she was staring at the corner of the room like she was completely outside of the conversation.

“Was that your plan?” Abi asked him. “To provide mental health services outside of this hospital, outside of the supervision of your preceptor?”

“Of course not. I went there as a friend. Someone who understands him. Frank responds to me because we have something in common. I wasn’t trying to treat him, I was trying to convince him to come back here and get the help he needs.” He looked at Sonya. “And it worked.”

“This is your problem, Ben,” Jack said. “You make a mistake and instead of owning it, you get angry and defiant. You’re barely through this program. Who are you to say what worked and what didn’t?”

“I know guys like Frank. I knew what he needed to hear in order to make the decision for himself. And how can you say it didn’t work when he’s in his room watching television and eating ice cream instead of drinking himself to death in some bar? Isn’t that the point? To help them want to get better? To show them a reason to work for it?”

Jack laughed. “Always the hero, Ben. You know we have a team of doctors here who are much more qualified than you to make that call.”

Trav squared his shoulders, stepping in front of his father. “I understand things you never will, Dad. And you should thank your lucky stars for that.”

Abi held up a hand. “The point is, the rules are there for a reason. Unless the circumstances are extenuating, or I’m missing something…”

All three of them turned their eyes to Sonya, and Trav thought he saw the slightest quiver in her chin. His heart banged around in his chest.

Come on, Sonya. Don’t let them hang me here.

She shook her head once and it was like someone cut the strings on a puppet, his shoulders drooped and he slouched back against the wall. “So what happens now?”

“I’m reassigning you. The ED has agreed to take you for the remainder of your rotation. You’ll still graduate, but given the situation, it’s best you’re not with mental health patients anymore.”

Trav huffed a laugh. Yeah. Best to leave Frank right when he needs me the most.

“They’ll take you today, so you can pack your things and head there.”

Sonya’s head popped up. “Abi—”

“That’s final, Nurse Pope.”

Jack straightened his tie and pushed off the wall. “You can thank your lucky stars you’re not finished, Benjamin,” he sneered as he squeezed between Trav and Nurse Chen’s desk.

Trav forced his jaw loose before he cracked a tooth. He pushed off the wall, heading for the door, but before he was the second Travis to storm out of the room, he looked one more time at Sonya. Not his preceptor who was there to check boxes and turn in a form. Sonya. The woman who knew him. And knew he was right.

Her lips parted like she might finally speak, but then she dropped her eyes to the floor. He was on his own.

* * *

“Trav, wait!”

He stopped on the last landing and Sonya’s mind brought her back to the last time they’d been in that stairwell together. It was that moment that she’d realized there was something there between them. Now, it felt like the moment she would realize that maybe that something wasn’t enough.

Trav turned around and pinned her with a hard glare. “Did you report me?”

Sonya froze. The fact that their relationship had devolved enough that he would even think that hit her right in the gut and stole her ability to speak. But she had to get it together because every second that passed with her silence, was another second that it became more true in his mind.

She shook her head. “No. You know I wouldn’t do that to you.”

Trav’s frown deepened. “Do I? After what happened back there, I’m not sure.”

Sonya winced. He was throwing daggers and every one was hitting its mark.

“After you left, Abi told me that Dr. Lewis overheard my conversation with Frank. Apparently he and your dad are golf buddies.”

That revelation did nothing to soften Trav’s expression.

He chuckled bitterly. “Well, that answers one question. The only thing I still can’t figure out is why you didn’t have my back in there.”

“There was nothing I could’ve said that would’ve changed the outcome.”

“Maybe not but we’ll never know because you didn’t even try! My ass was on the line and the woman I’m in—” He paused and took a shaky breath. “—a relationship with, didn’t think I was worth sticking her neck out for.”

“I do think you’re worth it.”

“Yeah? I’m having a real hard time seeing it.”

“I was thinking about you the entire time! I was trying to anticipate every punishment Abi could give you to figure out recovery plans for all of them.”

“I needed you in the moment, Sonya! Not six stops down the road.” He grabbed the back of his neck, squeezing.

Sonya shook her head. “You’re not seeing the bigger picture. Being sent to ED is the best possible outcome. You’ll get that trauma experience on a more consistent basis and still get to graduate on time.”

“And my father gets to hold another fuck up he had to help me get out of over my head for the rest of my life. It’s a real win-win.”

His sarcasm stung. It was another sign that this conversation was headed someplace Sonya didn’t want to go and her mind worked to find an off ramp before it was too late.

“I know you’re angry now, but it’s going to be okay.”

Trav cocked his head to one side and folded his arms over his chest. “You still don’t get it. I couldn’t give a shit about everything that happened back there. I’m angry because you were right there with me but not with me. You know how that feels, right?”

Sonya’s gaze dropped to her feet. “You know I do.”

“I know going to see Frank was against the rules, but I thought I’d given you enough evidence that I can be a good paramedic. Instead of bringing any of that up, you let one incident define me and my entire internship.”

Sonya opened her mouth to speak but snapped it shut again just as quickly. Trav was the one who didn’t get it. He was able to go off to ED like nothing ever happened. Even if people found out the story, he’d only have to deal with it for a few weeks until he graduated. It wasn’t going to follow him into his career as a paramedic. If that one incident was going to define anyone, it was Sonya. She was the one who was left working in psych under a disappointed mentor and with a failed stint as a preceptor tarnishing her record.

But that was the way it should be. She shouldn’t be able to walk away without consequences for setting him up to make such a colossal error in judgement. Trav had every right to be angry with her, but not for what happened in Abi’s office. He should be angry with her for putting him on a path to end up there in the first place.

“We should talk about this later. You have to get to the ED and I need to get back to—”

He cut her off. “This isn’t going to work out, is it?”

Trav ran that hand through his hair and it sent Sonya’s heart racing. For once, she wished she couldn’t read him as well as she could because she didn’t want to already know what he was leading up to.

“What do you mean?”

Trav gestured between the two of them. “Us. Maybe you were right when you said the only relationship we should have is in here. But we don’t even have that anymore, do we?”

“I shouldn’t have said that. I didn’t mean it.”

“Doesn’t make it any less true.”

Sonya shoved her hands into the pockets of her scrubs, digging her nails into her palms until it hurt. It was Hawaii all over again. Another man was telling her he wanted to end things instead of building them.

Was this really happening? Was she really getting dumped for the second time in less than a year? It had to be some kind of record.

This time felt different, though. Before, she’d been able to lean on the things that had always kept her on track to overcome that moment. Now, there were no mental lists being developed; there were no plans for reflecting, regrouping, refocusing or revising just waiting to be implemented.

Instead, all Sonya could do was beat herself up because she should’ve seen this coming. There was always going to be a push and pull between them, and a relationship where they couldn’t meet in the middle was always going to burn out. The events of the last few days just made it run its course even faster.

Realizing it was bound to end eventually, didn’t make that moment any less heartbreaking.

“If that’s what you want.” Her voice sounded robotically calm even to herself.

“That’s it? That’s all you’re going to say?”

“What do you want me to say, Trav? I’m not going to beg you to change your mind.”

“Tell me what you want! Tell me I’m wrong! Just get out of your head and tell me how you feel!”

“If we keep going this way it’s going to become a fight, and I’m not going to fight with you in this stairwell!”

Trav’s jaw tightened and though his eyes were still soft and pleading, the rest of him was hardening right in front of her. Everything in her screamed for her to do something… anything to stop that transformation but she couldn’t force the words out.

It was too late anyway. In her few seconds of indecision, his eyes had gone cold. He was looking at her the same way he looked at his father, and that only meant one thing.

He was done.

“You mean you’re not going to fight for me.”

“Trav—”

“Goodbye, Sonya.”