The Exception by Lauren H. Mae

Thirty-nine

Trav had stared at that selfie of him and Sonya with that giant rooster so much over the last few days that he’d practically memorized every detail. If he had any artistic talent at all, he could probably draw it from memory. He couldn’t stop looking at it. It was the only picture he had of her and he needed to see that smile.

“Checking your grades to make sure you’re still graduating next week?”

Trav looked up from his phone to see Mike leaning against the porch railing with a beer. He hadn’t even noticed him come outside.

He’d been there all day for Asia’s birthday party, but even a bunch of one-year-olds hadn’t been able to shake him out of the mood he’d been in for the last three weeks.

Ever since things had ended between him and Sonya.

Trav slipped his phone into his pocket and tried to smile. “As far as I know I am.”

“I thought you’d be more excited about it. This is what you’ve been working for.”

It was what he’d been working for a long time, but Trav couldn’t find it in himself to be happy about it. Like everything else in his life recently, achieving this goal didn’t satisfy him the way it should.

Maybe because he’d pictured celebrating his graduation by taking Sonya out on a date and letting the world know that they were together. Now, she wouldn’t even be there and it felt all wrong because he wouldn’t be there either if it wasn’t for her.

“You look like shit, you know.”

“Thanks a lot, man. It’s been a rough few weeks with work and finals…”

And dealing with a broken heart.

After his anger over everything that went down faded, all Trav had left aside from his self-defeating thoughts was work, school, and a bed he couldn’t bear to sleep in because it still smelled like Sonya. He was pretty sure he’d even bummed his therapist out during their session the other day.

“Okay, enough. Out with it.”

Trav blinked out of his thoughts and realized Mike’s eyes were trained on him. “Out with what?”

“Don’t try to play me. If it wasn’t for the kids, I doubt we would’ve seen you crack a smile today. I bet you listened to that depressing-ass playlist of yours for the entire three-hour drive down here.”

Mike thought he knew him so well. So what if he’d had Radiohead on repeat lately? He just liked their music.

Jesus, he was full of shit.

“Nothing is going on.”

“I had to promise Tif to let her pick our next three Netflix shows to get her not to interrogate you, so if I have to watch Bridgerton, you’re going to tell me what’s got you so bent out of shape.”

Trav leaned against the railing next to his friend. “I’ve just got a lot on my mind.”

“Would one of those things be the woman you were supposed to bring with you today?”

Trav had pretended not to see the not-so-subtle shove Mike had given Tif when he’d arrived at their front door alone. He should’ve known they weren’t just going to let him escape back to D.C. without getting the story out of him.

Trav sighed. “We broke up a couple weeks ago.”

“Oh. I’m sorry, man. Seemed like you were really into her.”

“Well, it’s over.”

Mike folded his arms over his chest and sighed. “Are you sure? I mean, not all break ups are permanent. Me and Tif broke up and then got married three months later.”

The break up Mike referred to was more like an epic blowout that happened because Mike broke up with Tif before going to Afghanistan on his second tour. He’d been worried about coming back in one piece and thought ending things would be best. Tif wasn’t having it and they’d ended up engaged instead.

Trav had been there as a witness to all of it and he still wasn’t able to reconcile it. Breakups between his dad and stepmothers had been a constant while he was growing up, but none of those ever ended with a happily ever after.

“That break up happened because you’re an idiot,” Trav teased.

Mike shrugged and took a long pull from his beer. “So you’re saying yours isn’t for the same reason?”

Trav ran his hand over his face. He wasn’t sure if he even wanted to tell the story because that would mean opening the door to the thoughts that had been eating away at him ever since the fight. But he probably needed to talk it out with someone other than that negative voice in his head that kept looking for ways to make him feel even worse.

Reluctantly, Trav launched into the whole story and by the end of it, Mike was squinting at him like he was the world’s biggest jackass.

“I know that look. Just say it.”

“You go rogue and then get pissed off because you caught smoke for it? You deserved all that and you know it.”

Trav groaned. “I knew you were gonna say that. It was the right move for the patient.”

“Maybe. But you didn’t let your team know the plan and now you’re paying the price. You’re pretty damn lucky that being sent to a different floor was all you got.”

Trav slumped into the other rocking chair. “You’re supposed to be on my side.”

“We’re not the kind of friends who only tell each other what we want to hear. Besides, I’ve got a feeling you already knew you screwed that one up.”

“I did,” Trav admitted. “But before I could fix it, all hell broke loose and the woman I thought I was building something with basically left me out there to hang.” He paused, his throat trying to close over the next part. The worst part. “She seemed completely unbothered when things ended between us.”

“You broke up with her, Trav. Did you ever think that maybe she just didn’t want you to know how bothered she was?”

“I don’t know. It was like she expected it. Hell, I should’ve expected it too. She’s so far out of my league that I could’ve only been a rebound for her. Anything else, I’d probably end up disappointing her anyway. It’s kind of my thing.”

Trav rarely let his insecurities out around anyone, but Mike had seen him at a few of the lowest points in his life. He was the one person he knew wouldn’t judge him for it, but the frown on Mike’s face wasn’t the response he was expecting.

“Man, do you even hear yourself right now? This is what you always do.”

“What are you talking about?”

“Look, I know you want all of this,” Mike said, waving his hand toward the house. “The wife, the kids… the family you didn’t have growing up. But every time something looks like it’s getting started with a woman, you start looking for the end. It’s the only risk I’ve ever seen you back away from.”

Trav thought back to a few of the women he’d dated casually and how little things had made him see the end on the horizon and start behaving like they’d already reached it. But that wasn’t what happened this time. He’d tried but Sonya had refused to meet him halfway.

He shook his head arguing, “Can you blame me? Other than you and Tif, I have no proof that relationships last. My dad didn’t exactly set the best example. And I did try this time and it still didn’t end well.”

“Then, you keep trying. Look, I never told you, but Tif and me hit a rough patch a few years ago and that’s why I decided to get out when I did.”

That was an unexpected revelation. Mike and Tif had never appeared anything less than solid so hearing that they went through issues, had Trav even more confused.

“Don’t look so surprised. No relationship is perfect. The deployments… the distance got to be too much for both of us so I did what was best for my family. It was how I kept trying. I loved serving my country, but serving my family was worth more to me. Every minute I spend with Tif and the kids reminds me that it was the best decision I ever made.”

Mike paused, running a hand over his face before continuing. “Now that you’re out, you need to figure out what’s worth it for you, and I have a feeling that the first woman I’ve ever seen you this twisted up over is a big part of it. If you want her to be your partner, you have to treat her like one. And from what you told me, she’s the take no shit type so you’d better come correct when you try to fix things.”

“But what if I’m right, Mike? What if she doesn’t feel the same way about me?”

Mike shrugged. “You’ll move on eventually, but stop assuming you’re not going to measure up. A lot has changed since you were an idiot kid. Just because your dad can’t see that, doesn’t mean it’s not clear to the rest of the world. I’m sure this nurse saw something in you or she wouldn’t have given you the time of day to begin with.”

Trav swallowed hard as an image of Sonya’s face right before he’d walked away floated through his mind. At the time, he’d been too far gone to acknowledge the hurt in her big brown eyes.

Hurt that he’d put there.

His cheeks burned with shame. “I saw her in the hallway at work the other day and she tried to talk to me but I shut it down. I was such a jerk.”

“If women kicked our asses to the curb every time we were jerks, the human race would’ve died out a long time ago.”

Trav chuckled. “Now that’s probably true. When did you get so smart about relationships?”

Mike rolled his eyes. “Tif would laugh her ass off if she heard you say that.”

“No worries, man. It’s our secret.”