Waiting on the Rain by Claudia Connor

17

It wasn’t like Ava to fuss about clothes. For the most part she stuck with black on the bottom. Black pants, white top. Black skirt, black jacket, colored top.

But she wasn’t dressing for work or the barn. She would have paid big money to have Maddie here now to give her advice. Casual, he’d said, so she’d start with jeans. It would be a fun night out with a man she liked. A man she was attracted to. A man she had no future illusions about and who had none about her.

She ran her hand over her shirt options. Most of these she could tell by feel. A few of them had the neck tag cut in a certain way that distinguished one from the other. She knew from Maddie that black with jeans was always good. Or white.

She chose the black then switched to the white with short brown boots. It wasn’t as if she had other plans. If she didn’t go, she’d be sitting in the living room listening to reality shows with her parents.

Something about Luke challenged her. Maybe it was just the challenge of getting back out there, proving to herself that she might have been down for a while, but she wasn’t out.

Maddie had trained her in make-up application, or more often done it for her, when they were twelve. She smiled at the thought of what she must have looked like. Though according to her friend, it hadn’t been much worse than anyone else.

These days she stuck to a light mascara, very carefully applied. After which she made sure to clean her fingers since she had to feel her way there. A couple of light swipes of blush and a little gloss on the lips and she was done. She decided a quick FaceTime with Maddie was in order.

“I have a date,” she said as soon as the connection was made. “I need a make-up check.”

“Okay, bring the phone a little closer. There. Turn to the side… Other side. Good job. Now tell me about the date. The cowboy?”

“Yes. And it’s not really a date, it’s a family thing. A group thing.”

“Gotta start somewhere.”

“Yeah.” And by the way he kissed her, Ava didn’t know if that was a reason to go for it or a reason to run.

“Just do it. Get it over with.”

“Wow. How romantic,” Ava said. “Assuming we’re talking sex.”

“We are and this could be the perfect way to get back in the saddle so speak. Break the man fast.”

“Maybe.” Ava laid the phone on the bed and went for her shoes, short brown boots with a four-inch heel. “Are you on the subway?”

“I had to go into the Brooklyn office this morning.”

“Mmm.” Ava came back to the phone, and zipped up each boot. “You know, I really don’t know why I’m making it so complicated. We’re both single, we’re attracted to each other.”

“Then stop making it complicated. You’re not going to fall in love with the guy. Just have sex with him, leave him pining.”

No, she definitely wasn’t going to fall in love, but— the doorbell rang and she ended the Face Time. She grabbed her cane and her leather wristlet that held her phone.

She’d planned on being at the ready to avoid exactly this. This, date comes to meet the parents of a grown adult, scenario. But before she made it down the hallway she heard her mother opening the door and saying hello, in a tone she might have used for a door to door salesman. As if she’d had no idea Luke was coming.

She closed her eyes briefly then carried on.

* * *

When they gotto the sports bar, Luke led Ava in, giving her the lay of the land as he went. “The bar is to the left,” Luke told her.

She nodded as they passed, hearing the sounds of ice shaking against metal. A bottle thunking down on wood. The tempting scents of greasy bar food reminded her she’d missed lunch. The room felt busy and smelled amazing.

“There are tables scattered to the right and a dark wood bar running the length of the room from here,” he said as they passed the end. “Bathrooms are down at that end. Let me know when and I’ll guide you.”

If she could, if she was alone, she liked to run her hand along the bar to see how long it was. To feel if it was slick or rustic. She’d like to walk around the edges of the room to get a sense of the size. When she’d gone places with Maddie, her friend had always given her that information. Having known her so long, Maddie could say the bar is ten steps to your left, or it’s fifteen steps long. She did it without even thinking.

She could ask Luke to do that. But she didn’t want to be the girl that needed extra.

“Hey, you guys,” a voice called out. One she recognized as Hannah. “We just ordered nachos to start.”

Ava’s stomach clenched. Finger food. Shared finger food. The thing was she loved nachos, but it was virtually impossible for her to grab a nacho from a cheesy, chili, sour creamed up pile without touching any of the others.

“Great,” Luke said, guiding her to a stool. “You like cheese sticks?” He gently squeezed her hand, letting her know he was talking to her. “They’ve got the best in town. I’ll get us an order when the waitress comes around. And some plates.” He squeezed her hand again, and she got his silent message. Don’t worry about the shared plate of food.

She ordered a beer and lifted it carefully, each time. Set it back on the bar even more carefully, not wanting to spill her own or anyone else’s, not touch anyone’s food.

“Relax,” Luke whispered in her ear then pressed his lips to her temple.

She’d have loved to know who at the table had caught that and what their reaction was.

“How was the honeymoon?” Mia asked.

“Oh, yeah,” Hannah said. “I haven’t had a chance to get the details.”

Zach wrapped his arms around his new wife. “There will be no honeymoon detail giving.”

“Eww.” Hannah punched him lightly in the arm. “I’m not looking for those kinds of details. I’m talking about the hotel, the island, the food.”

“Was there food?” Zach asked. “I don’t remember.”

Nora punched his other arm. “Would you behave? It was perfect,” Nora said. “We ate and swam and walked on the beach.”

“That’s not all we did,” Zach said wiggling his eyebrows and leaning into his new wife. “Babies don’t make themselves.”

“What? Are you guys—”

“No. Not yet,” Nora said.

Zach grinned. “Practicing.”

Talk turned to kids. Luke had noticed it didn’t matter how many times they reminded each other or ribbed the other couples for not being able to go a few hours without their kids being the center. They couldn’t help themselves.

Will was cutting a new tooth. Mitchell had developed a bad habit of climbing onto the kitchen table.

“He just stands there and yells,” Hannah said dumbfounded. “He doesn’t try to get anything, doesn’t try to hide it.”

“Sounds like your kid alright,” Luke said.

“I never did that.”

“Yes, you did.”

“Absolutely,” Nick said.

Zach nodded. “Yep. Every day.”

“Ha!” Stephen said grinning and pointing at Hannah. “And you tried to blame it on me.”

When the waitress brought the food, she apparently moved Ava’s beer over so when she went to reach for it, it wasn’t there. Luke must have noticed her groping and slid the bottle until it touched her searching fingers.

“Thanks,” she said softly.

“What about you, Ava?” Nora asked. “Any annoying brothers? Sisters?”

“Just one overprotective brother.”

“I can relate,” Hannah said with an exaggerated sigh.

“I can’t imagine having four. I bet you’ve got some stories. Did one of them teach you to drive?”

The group went silent and Ava’s stomach immediately seized in a panic. She couldn’t see their faces and she hated, hated, this feeling. Was it because their parents had died and hadn’t been able to teach her? She knew Hannah had only been two so she’d hadn’t thought it’d be a sore spot, just a chance for a funny story. But she couldn’t read the room, or the table in this instance.

She couldn’t know whose face had fallen. If there was anger, embarrassment, or sadness. Were they looking at each other or looking at her?

Then she felt Luke’s arm slip around her shoulders, felt his big hand on her neck and the gentle, reassuring squeeze. She’d never been so grateful. He wasn’t going to leave her out there flailing. Before she could think about it, her hand found his muscled, blue jean clad thigh under the table.

“Oh, that’s a long story,” Hannah said. “I didn’t learn to drive until I was older. Just took me a while to work up the nerve.”

Not exactly a lie, Luke thought, and silently thanked his sister. Because no one had taught Hannah to drive, not for a very long time. Being kidnapped and nearly murdered at fifteen had overshadowed getting a driver’s permit. Something else Luke hadn’t been there for. Not at first anyway. And after… Well, it’d been Nick who had stuck close and been there for Hannah’s recovery.

“There are some stories, though,” Zach said. “Like Luke here setting the Nativity on fire.”

“I didn’t set it on fire. I didn’t,” he said again when Ava turned her face to his.

“Here’s the truth, Ava,” Zach said. “All four of us are messing around the Christmas tree, counting presents, shaking boxes, when Luke pulls a lighter out of his pocket and—”

“Nope. Dallas had the lighter.”

“Okay. You stole the lighter from Dallas.”

“I relieved him of it,” he said to Ava. “It was dangerous.”

“How old were all of you,” she asked, smiling.

“I was maybe eight, so the twins were six. Nick was ten.”

“Anyway,” Zach went on. “This nativity was all wood with carved people and animals and Dallas said how when the shepherds were out there with their sheep, they had to build fires to keep warm. And there were already these little bits of straw our mom had put in the manger and scattered around. So one of us—”

“You,” Luke said.

“Okay, maybe.”

“The look on his face is a clear admission of guilt,” Luke said for Ava’s benefit.

“And maybe,” Zach went on. “I made a little pile of the straw, moved the shepherd and a couple sheep to stand around it. I was just going to pretend.”

“Yeah, right,” Nick said, grabbing a cheese laden chip.

“Then Luke flicks the lighter.”

“I’m sure you were all daring him to do it,” Nora said.

“Maybe.” Zach, grinned at his wife. “But Luke flicked it and the thing went up in flames.”

“Nothing ever lights on the first try,” Luke said, shaking his head. “But boy, did it burn.”

“Shit,” Stephen said, laughing.

“Hey, I’ve heard some McKinney stories that make us look like angels,” Zach said.

“We were angels, every one. Just ask my mom.”

“Whatever,” Zach said. “Anyway, we’re all on our stomachs blowing on it, which just made it spread to Mary and Joseph.”

“At which point Dallas said, ‘you’re going to hell for burning Jesus,’ and he starts praying,” Nick said.

“Yeah, and then our sitter comes running in, grabs up the whole thing and chucks it right out the window.”

“And it lands right at my parents’ feet as they’re coming home from a Christmas party,” Luke said.

“Oh, my gosh.” Ava put a hand over her mouth to cover the laugh. “I bet they never left you with a sitter again.”

Mia blew out a breath, and looked at Nick. “We should probably go ahead and rid the house of all fire making capability.”

“Don’t worry, babe,” Nick said to Mia. “I’ll be one step ahead of them at all times.”

“Pfft. It’s three against two,” Zach said. “You better make it five steps.”

“And you, quick as you could,” Luke pointed his beer at Nick. “You told Dad I did it.”

“Hey, I wasn’t about to get blamed for your folly.”

“Dallas was already crying, afraid he was going to get his presents taken away, then demanding that we all say the Act of Contrition.” With his arm around the back of Ava’s seat, absently ran a strand of Ava’s hair between his thumb and forefinger took a long drink of his beer as he listened to his siblings.

This was the same bar they’d come to to discuss Stephen, back when they’d decided McKinney was no good for their sister. Same one they’d come to celebrate the death of Zach’s bachelorhood. He didn’t remember ever feeling this at ease.

“And that is why our nativity consisted of a burned-out box and baby Jesus all alone,” Zach said.

“Wait,” Ava said. “How did Baby Jesus survive?”

“Because every year one of us hid baby Jesus until Christmas morning.”

Talking about, thinking about, his parents always brought a bitter twist in his gut and he waited for it to come. But as the story went on, even more exaggerated since the last time it’d been told, he noted the bitterness stayed away.

His brothers’ eyes were bright with good humor as they played the blame game. Even Nick was laughing. And the whole time, he was acutely aware of Ava next to him, her hand still resting on his thigh.

“Okay,” Zach said. “Time to get serious. Every man for himself or teams?”

“I vote teams,” Hannah said.

“Of course you do,” Stephen said. “That’s the only way you’ll get any points.”

Hannah drove her finger into Stephen’s side as he threw his arm around her.

“I vote girls against boys,” Mia said and the other women whopped their agreement.

“Prepare to lose, men,” Ava said and the women’s cheers died down.

“What?” she asked innocently, knowing for sure they were looking at her this time and knowing why. She liked surprising people. “You don’t think I should play?”

“Of course you should.” Luke was the only one who spoke. “But, um…”

The fear in his voice at a blind woman throwing darts almost made her feel guilty. Almost. “Don’t worry,” she said, smiling. “Just point me in the right direction and I’ll try my best not to hit you.”

They determined the rules and throwing order. When Ava’s turn came, she walked to the board hanging on the wall. She felt around it for the size, measured the height against the side of her body. All of it was standard. She walked off the steps, purposefully passing it by four steps.

Luke caught her arm. Turned her back and set an empty chair to the side of the worn tape on the floor. “There. If you put your left hand here, your toes are lined up just behind the line.”

“Got it.” Ava waited for Luke to place the dart in her hand, then purposely twisted her body and lifted her arm.

“Wait!” The shout came from more than one, but it was Luke who guided her around to face the board.

“Am I all lined up now?”

“Yes.”

“Okay.” She raised the dart, took her aim and let it fly.

“How’d I do?”

“Um…” Throats cleared.

She huffed. “Just tell me how I did, where I was off and by how much.”

Luke walked over to stand behind her. He laid his hands on her waist, out his lips close to her ear. “You don’t have to—”

“Shut up and just tell me where I hit.”

“Okay. Missed the board by two inches to the left.”

“All right. Back up,” she told him. She drew back for another throw and could tell by the sound she’d hit the cork.

“Nice,” Luke said, coming up beside her once more.

“I can do better than nice. Where did I hit?”

“Two inches below center, almost dead on.”

She threw for a third time, heard it hit then the female squeals and shocked, male curses behind her.

Luke grabbed her around the waist, lifted her off her feet. “Holy shit. It’s dead center. You hit it dead center.”

“Really?” She could practically see the shocked expressions and laughed. “Beginners luck I guess.”

“That’s amazing!” Hannah grabbed her in a hug. “We’re going to kill you guys!”

“Damn impressive,” Nick said.

“I think we’ve just been hustled,” Zach added with a grumble.

With a modest smile, Ava lifted her beer, took a long drink.

Luke snaked an arm around her waist, and pulled her a few feet away from the group. “You want to explain that?”

“I’ve played a lot of darts.”

“Really?”

Luke held her close, his back to the group, blocking their view when he lowered his head and pressed his mouth to hers. It wasn’t much of a kiss, but her hands were on his shoulders, his scent and the faint Tate of beer on his tongue made for a heady few seconds.

“My uh… My brother had a dart board in the basement and he taught me. Thought I should have a party trick. I practiced until it became muscle memory. I don’t always hit the target, but…” She lifted a shoulder. “You didn’t think I could hit it, did you?” She grinned and gave his chest a playful shove. “That’s okay. And don’t feel bad when we win, just do your best.”