Hard Facts by Penny Clarke

29

Summer

“Those can go in the back seat,” I rush to say when Liz starts walking towards my car trunk, her arms laden with plastic orange pumpkins and one giant cornucopia stuffed with fake yellow and red leaves.

My little sis shrugs, and does as she’s told, before going back up to my apartment for another batch of fall-themed decor. Once she’s gone, I rearrange the tote bag I’m carrying on my arm, stacked with store-bought pumpkin pies, and lift the trunk lid.

I smile at the giant cardboard box taking up a majority of my car’s storage.

It’s the last day of classes before our short Thanksgiving break. I won’t see Gray tonight, because I’ll be at a send-off feast at ABB with all my sisters. And he’d mentioned staying at his house, since in the morning, all his friends will be leaving. To see their families. To play football, since Morris, Levi, and Spencer have an away game.

But this weekend.

This weekend is Gray’s birthday. And I have it all planned. A meal of turkey and mashed potatoes and stuffing and green bean casserole, courtesies of Francie. A marathon of killer shark movies, all queued in the streaming service on my television. A silky new dress. Red heels. Brand new toys in the case under my bed. Not a scrap of underwear.

And this box. Gray’s birthday present.

This weekend, that’s when I’ll gift it to him. But for now, it stays in my car, where he won’t find it. Not a secret. But a surprise. One I think he’ll love.

I frown. Then distract myself with stashing the pies in already limited trunk space.

Unfortunately, the thought comes back.

I haven’t tried to rush him. I let him take his time. Meanwhile, I’ve probably said it a million times since that night in his car. When we’re studying. When I find new flowers on my kitchen island. When we say hello. Goodbye. Walking around campus. Just sitting on the couch. In bed. Over and over and over while he sinks inside me, never once using condoms since that night, and he stares at me so intently that I think he might be about to repeat the words back.

But that moment always passes, he always holds it back, and I forget, because I’m distracted by the force of how hard we come together.

I know… I know Gray loves me. I feel it in his kiss. His body. His smile. Every time he looks at me.

Why can’t he say those words?

I slam the trunk on those thoughts. The ones that whisper in the back of my mind. Maybe I don’t know if he does… Maybe I only think he does… Because I want him to feel the same…

When Liz returns with the last of the centerpieces, I’m grateful for yet anther distraction. We drive to our sorority, chatting about how excited we are for break, whining over how much we’re going to miss each other, even for just the long weekend. Too soon, we pull into ABB’s back lot, grabbing all our supplies, trying to make one trip into the house. And once we’re through the doors—

Chaos. Absolute chaos.

A whirlwind of activity. Of squeals and shrieks and clapping hands and bouncing girls in pink dresses. And while this sort of excitement isn’t totally out of the norm—there’s something off about it. No one gets this hyped up for cranberry sauce.

I discover what it is all too soon, as Clio spots me and runs over, clap, clap, clapping away. “Summer! I can’t believe you kept it a secret that your dad would be visiting!”

Air whooshes out of my lungs.

No.

I drop pies. Behind me, Liz pushes off the centerpieces to Clio. I’m already striding through the house. Through all the girls running about. Where the thickest of the group gathers, in the living room. All around one figure, standing tall and dominant and—

Silver clashes on silver.

—With eyes like mine.

Nolan.

“Daddy,” I say through a smile more resembling a dog baring its teeth. Because there are people, my sorority sisters, all around us, and I give him a stiff hug because eyes are watching, watching, watching. “What are you doing here?”

“It’s almost Thanksgiving, Summer,” Nolan laughs, so loud and forced and so, so, so fake. “You didn’t think I’d let my daughter spend the holiday alone? I thought I’d surprise you.”

And his audience coos, because isn’t it sweet? The mega-rich super-genius cares about his daughter. Isn’t it amazing, that someone so wealthy and successful would take time out of his busy schedule to see her? He must have a heart.

Nolan wraps a fatherly arm around me. Putting on a united front. Pinches my shoulder in a too-tight clasp. “And I felt so terrible about missing Summer’s fundraiser in the spring. So I wanted to personally make it up and meet all of Alpha Beta Beta today.”

Summer’s fundraiser. The charity event she planned, that her sisters coerced her into sending him an invitation for, to celebrate a building he donated money towards. One he said yes to attending, because wouldn’t it be great publicity? Only he never showed, because in reality, he never cared.

Never mind that all took place on her birthday.

All those eyes watch us. Father and daughter. Two peas in a pod. Even Iris shoves two other girls aside to stand next to Nolan. To suck up.

“You know, my wife was in ABB when we went here,” he announces to his audience, glancing fondly about the room. “This house brings back so many memories. Summer, you should take me on a tour, show me what’s changed after all these years.”

Ohsand ahs reverberate in my brain. His hand on my shoulder weighs heavy.

“That is, if I can pry you way from your studies. Like father, like daughter, isn’t she, girls? Nose in a book, working hard. Even hiring a tutor for a little extra help. What’s his name again, Summer?”

My blood runs cold.

“Grayson, ah—Grayson Rowe, that’s right. I’ve met him. Smart kid. He’ll actually be interning with me in the spring.”

My heart stops.

All those eyes. All on me. Like dozens of tiny camera lenses, all focused right on me. Only me. Whispers start at the front of the crowd, work their way back. Girls share perplexed looks, shaking their heads.

“No, Mr. Prescott,” comes a helpful voice from the crowd. I don’t see who it is. “Grayson is Summer’s boyfriend.”

Nolan rubs his chin in thoughtful expression. “Hmm, no. I’d remember if he said that.”

Those silver eyes. Cold, callous, cruel. Vindictive eyes. “We had a nice chat, Grayson and I. And he told me, in quite clear terms, that is he only tutoring Summer.”

I step away from those eyes. Bump into one of my sisters. I turn. Push through the crowd. Liz calls my name, but I keep pushing, pushing, pushing. Through the whispers, growing in volume. The confusion from my duplicity. Get away. I have to get away from them. Nolan. Out of this house.

Outside, I unlock my car with shaking hands. Sit down. Take a moment. Take a breath. Double over.

And scream into my hands.

A scream of panic. Of betrayal. Of tears and an empty hollow ache in my chest. Of sorrow and rage and horror. Of a bee, her guts ripping out after she loses her stinger. Of a lone swimmer, being chewed up and spit out by a fucking shark.

Of a girl, whose heart is breaking.

Gray told.

Gray told Nolan.

Told him everything. Enough so Nolan knew exactly how and where and when to strike. To undermine my credibility within my sorority. He’ll get me removed, get what he wanted from the start, with Gray’s help. Gray helped Nolan win. Gray leveraged the truth about me, about us, our relationship, to get an internship at Nolan’s company.

And it’s worse. So worse. Worse than I ever could have imagined.

Gray used me.

I don’t remember twisting the key. Pushing the pedal. Turning the wheel. Driving away. Not until I’m parked on a curb. On a curb outside a yellow house. Where inside, sits the boy that shattered my heart to pieces.

I get out of my car. Stand on the curb and stare at that house. The memories it contains. The meaning it has for him. His home. His shelter. His safety.

But as I take a step forward—

I see rust. I see four wheels and suspension. Theoretical seatbelts. A beat-up car in the driveway. A safety net. A back seat of warmth and feeling, where I offered him my most fragile secret. Where I gave him my beating heart. Where I openly told him I love him.

And instead of saying it back, he kept a secret from me.

He doesn’t say it back.

I was wrong.

Grayson Rowe doesn’t love me.

I open my trunk. Pull out that box. The gift inside it. I march it over to that safety net. Kick off my heels. Jump on the hood. The first place I said those words to him. Where he kissed me and made me believe he felt them back.

I take that gift. Raise it high above my head.

And bring it crashing down, in an explosion of glass.