Say You’ll Stay by Susan Mallery
CHAPTER SIX
LAWSONTOLDHIMSELFthat despite how it felt, his plan wasn’t going to kill him. He knew going slow, getting to know Shaye and letting her get to know him, made the most sense. Yes, every time they hung out, he was more and more attracted to her, but he wasn’t interested in a superficial fling. He wanted the real thing, and he was hoping she did, too.
So he hung on to his self-control and stayed firmly in the friend zone. He joked with her, spoke freely about himself when asked and brought up what he hoped were unexpected and interesting topics for them to discuss while they worked on the Mustang.
“Of course I believe in God,” she said one evening as they worked to reinstall the valves into the head using new valve seals. “And an afterlife.”
“Is it Heaven?” he asked.
She smiled at him. “I’m going to shock you and say no.”
“Hell?”
“I don’t think the answer is that simple. Imagine trying to explain the concept of tomorrow to a puppy. Their sense of time and space is so different from ours that we simply can’t do it.”
“In this analogy, we’re the puppy?”
“We are. I think whatever happens after we die is so far beyond our comprehension that we were given a simple explanation that makes sense to us. We’ll find out the truth when we get there.”
“So there’s a power much greater than ourselves, but not in the way we envision?”
“Yes. Most life-changing experiences are different than we imagine or than we’ve been told. Wouldn’t God be even more like that?”
“I think that, too,” he admitted. “Faith matters. It grounds us and sets us free at the same time. I appreciate what we’re told, but you’re right. We won’t know until we get there.”
He passed her the tools as she needed them, content to watch her do the work. She was careful and meticulous. Every now and then she asked him his opinion on what they should do next, but mostly she was confident in her abilities.
She’d pulled her long red hair back into a ponytail that sat high on her head, then had coiled it into some kind of a bun thing. She wore an old shop coat that was five sizes too big over a T-shirt and jeans. When he leaned close to tighten a bolt he could smell the scent of the lotion they’d bought together.
The whiff of scent had him thinking about where she’d put the lotion and how he would like to touch all those places, along with any others available to him. He’d start with his fingers, then follow with his tongue and they would—
He literally and mentally took a step back, telling himself to keep his mind on the work and off anything more physical. Wanting her was a given, but thinking about wanting her would only lead to trouble.
“Speaking of puppies,” she said, “I had customers today who had a new border collie puppy with them. She was so cute and full of energy. It was slow for a few minutes, so I got to play with her.”
“Now you want a puppy.”
“Sure. Doesn’t everyone?”
“There are nondog people.”
Her eyes widened. “I don’t believe you. Have you seen puppies? How could you not want all of them?”
“They grow into dogs, and that’s different.”
“It is. I know it’s the cuteness factor, but I can’t help it. My heart is puppy-friendly.”
He laughed. “Do you have plans to fulfill that need?”
“Eventually. When I get settled and have my life together.” She wrinkled her nose. “I’d need a work situation where I was home a fair amount. I wouldn’t want to get a puppy and then be gone all the time.”
“I agree. My boss used to have a couple of big dogs that he would bring to the shop every day. We all enjoyed having them hang around. Now he has Burt, an aging miniature dachshund, who’d rather stay home and sleep.”
“Burt?”
“I know, but the name suits him.”
They went to work on the piston–connecting rod assembly, installing new bearings and rings. Once that was done, it was close to nine. Shaye glanced out the open garage door.
“The sun’s set. It’s getting late. I’ve kept you too long.”
“You haven’t kept me.”
Her green eyes darkened. “You’re not obligated to spend every evening helping me.”
“Do I seem like I’m not having fun?”
“No, but...” She pressed her lips together. “I appreciate the help and enjoy the company.”
“That’s all I want to hear. The tree-lighting ceremony is in a couple of days. Would you like to go with me? It’s an outdoor event, in The Wreath. People generally arrive a couple of hours early to eat dinner first. There’s music and dancing, then the tree is lit.”
She smiled. “I’d like that.”
“Good. I’ll bring the picnic, and I’ll pick you up here.”
“It’s a date,” she said, then held up her hand. “I mean that as an expression. I wasn’t implying anything.”
He stared into her eyes. “It’s a date,” he said quietly. “I mean that in every sense of the word.”
Finally, she thought, her heart pounding hard in her chest.
“Oh.” Her lips curved up in a happy smile. “Good. Then it’s a date.”
FORTHEFIRSTtime since Shaye had started her midday shift selling hand pies, the hours had crawled by. Every time she checked her watch, she was shocked to discover that only a few minutes had gone by. Watching city workers set up tables and chairs for that evening’s events hadn’t been much of a distraction. When her shift had finally ended, she’d raced home only to discover she had three long hours until Lawson picked her up.
She changed her sheets and ran the old ones through the washer and dryer. She used a facial mask that was supposed to make her skin glow, then put in hot rollers in an attempt to get sexy waves into her hair. She debated what to wear, changing her clothes three times before deciding on the original outfit, an apple-green sleeveless dress with a light sweater in case it got chilly.
She was ready a ridiculous forty minutes before he was due to arrive but couldn’t stand to be in her room any longer so made her way downstairs. She found Kathy in the kitchen, cutting up fresh fruit.
“You look nice,” her landlord said with a smile. “Going to the tree-lighting?”
“Yes, Lawson’s taking me.”
Kathy’s expression turned mischievous. “I always liked that boy, although I suppose I should call him a man now. He was a good kid. The family’s very nice. The two younger ones took off, but the older girls stayed. Oh, that’s right. You know Adien. Isn’t she pregnant?”
“Very,” Shaye said, taking a seat at the island. “She’s due in about six weeks, but she’s getting bigger by the day. I don’t know how she stands on her feet for so many hours at a time.”
“She’s young and healthy. But I’m sure she’ll be glad when the baby comes.”
Kathy sliced a peach and offered some to Shaye. “Fresh from the farmers market,” she said. “They’re delicious. I love this time of year. I’m buying more than I can eat, so at some point I’ll start making jam. A silly hobby, but it’s a tradition.”
“I’d love to help, if you’re open to that. I’ve never made jam.”
“It’s not difficult, and I’d love the help and the company.” She sighed. “Douglas used to help me. Or rather he’d sit about where you are and offer advice. As if he knew how anything in a kitchen worked.” She smiled. “We were an old-fashioned couple. I cooked, he took care of the outside. But it worked for us.”
“You were together a long time.”
“We were. Forty-three years.” Kathy laughed softly. “He would always say that forty-two of them were really good but we weren’t talking about that one year.”
“He sounds like a great guy.”
“He was. I know I should be over him, but I still miss him. This old house gets big and lonely.” She looked at Shaye. “So I appreciate the company.”
“Me, too. Do you ever think about moving? You mentioned a condo before.”
“I think about it. The condos are part of a new retirement community being built on the edge of town. They have stages of care.” Kathy washed three more peaches. “I’d be interested in the independent living. I’ve gone by, and I have a brochure. Some days I’m ready to put down my deposit, and other days I’m convinced I’ll never leave this house.”
She looked around. “I’d want to sell it to a nice family who would appreciate what Douglas and I had here.” Her gaze slid to Shaye. “So you and Lawson. How’s that going?”
Shaye laughed. “Nice try, but no. We’re not talking about that. I’ve known him less than two weeks. This is our second date. There will be no talk of us buying houses.”
“You’re right not to rush. It’s just sometimes you know. I knew with Douglas. By our third date, I was already half in love with him, and after a month, he was the one. He proposed two months later, but our parents made us wait another year until we could get married. They wanted us to be sure.”
She smiled at the memory.
Shaye had never felt that kind of certainty—not when it came to a man. It would be nice to be that secure in a relationship, she thought wistfully. As for the house, staying here permanently would be a dream. She could imagine a couple of kids and, of course, a dog. The house was built for a family and would be a wonderful place to make memories.
If she stayed...
No, she reminded herself. She hadn’t decided she was staying. Yes, she liked the town and she was making friends, but she needed to be sure. There had already been too much heartbreak in her life without her messing up again.
Every time she was tempted to revise her plans, she reminded herself she wasn’t going to be making decisions based on a guy. She had to know what was right for herself and herself alone. If only her mom was here. She would know exactly what to say to help Shaye make the right decision.
In a way, Kathy reminded her a little of her mom. She was kind and strong, with a sense of humor and an inner compass.
“You’ve had a very blessed life,” Shaye said impulsively.
“I have. Oh, there have been sorrows, but all in all, I’ve been very lucky.”
They chatted for another half an hour about nothing in particular, then the doorbell rang.
“That would be your young man,” Kathy told her.
The old-fashioned phrase made Shaye smile. “It would be.”
She walked to the front of the house and opened the door. Lawson stood on the wide porch, a picnic basket in one hand.
“Hi,” she said, taking in the dark jeans and the tailored gray shirt. He’d left the collar open and rolled up the sleeves to his elbows but was still dressed more datelike than she’d seen him before.
“Hi, yourself. You look beautiful.”
He leaned in and lightly brushed his lips against her cheek. She felt tingles all the way down to her toes.
“You said there would be music,” she said with a smile. “Christmas music or regular?”
He laughed. “It will be both. Regular until about a half hour before the tree-lighting, then it switches.”
“I can’t wait.”
His dark gaze locked with hers. “Me, either.”
She invited him in while she collected her sweater, handbag and the bottle of champagne she’d bought that afternoon and then had put in the refrigerator.
“Have fun,” Kathy told her with a laugh. “I won’t wait up.”
“I’m ignoring that,” Shaye told her, waving before she returned to the front of the house. She held up the champagne. “I thought tonight felt like a celebration.”
“I like your style.”
He tucked the bottle into the picnic basket, then put his hand on the small of her back as he escorted her outside. Once they were on the walkway, he took her hand in his, and they started toward The Wreath.
“How was your day?” he asked.
“Good. Still busy. The steady stream of tourists is impressive. I’ve never lived in a town with so many visitors. My hometown wasn’t interesting enough to get people to come and stay.”
“There are even more in the winter, and more things to do. We only have a few activities in July, but come Thanksgiving, all bets are off. There are all the outdoor sports along with the seasonal celebrations. Plus the daily Advent calendar. They set it up in The Wreath. On the first of December, there’s a big party as the first box is opened. It’s usually something fun like a sing-along or ice-skating. After that, the daily boxes are opened in the morning. They can say anything from Go shovel someone’s driveway to Bake cookies with someone you love.”
“I like the sound of that.”
“There’s always at least a couple of service projects.”
“Paisley and Dena were telling me there’s a day of service on Saturday. I’m going to be doing that with them.”
He smiled at her. “You’ll have fun.”
“I’m looking forward to it.”
He mentioned a few other holiday traditions in the town. Shaye enjoyed listening to him talk. Not just the sound of his voice but also what he said. There was a confidence in his tone and his words.
She hadn’t known him long, but she had the sense she was getting to know him well. He wasn’t the kind of man to use a woman for sex until something better came along.
Funny how the humiliation of thinking those words had faded. Now she was more interested in why she’d been so gullible and making sure she never was again, along with a big dose of gratitude that she’d found out the truth before she’d gone off to Los Angeles with a guy who didn’t care about her.
They arrived at The Wreath. Shaye was surprised by the transformation. When she’d left the space at three that afternoon, only a few tables and chairs had been set up. But four hours later, the big, open area had been filled with possibly hundreds of tables—some for two, some for eight or ten. There was a dance floor at the far end, close to the big Christmas tree that had been installed two days ago. That had been quite the production, involving a very large flatbed truck, several pulleys and nearly a dozen guys with ropes.
There was a line of people waiting to get inside The Wreath and student volunteers checked names against a list before handing over a card with a number on it.
“You have to make reservations?” Shaye asked. “To have a picnic?”
“There are a limited number of tables. A half hour before the lighting ceremony everyone who wants to come will be let in. But from now until nine thirty, it’s by reservation only.”
The line moved quickly. Shaye saw families and other couples, along with groups of friends of all ages. Some people had picnic baskets or takeout bags. Others were going to order from the nearby restaurants.
“This is a whole big thing,” she said.
“It is. We take our traditions seriously in Wishing Tree.”
“I like that.”
He smiled at her. “Me, too.”
When they reached the front of the line, Lawson gave his name and was handed a card. They made their way through the tables, studying the numbers on them, until they reached thirty-seven, a table for two away from the speakers and the DJ but with a nice view of the tree. They were tucked in a relatively private area, with only other couples around them.
“So this isn’t your first rodeo,” she teased. “You’re very smooth with your table selection.”
Lawson didn’t return her smile. “I haven’t brought a date to the tree-lighting since I was in high school.”
“You haven’t?”
“I told you the first day I met you, this isn’t a thing I do, Shaye. This is about you. I want you to believe me.”
His gaze was steady as he spoke, his voice intense. He was willing her to trust him, and despite her past and recently broken heart, she wanted to. Everything she knew about Lawson told her he was honest and the kind of man she could trust. Even more than that, he’d have her back—something she’d never experienced in a romantic relationship before.
“I DOBELIEVEYOU,” she whispered.
He took her hand and squeezed her fingers. “I’m glad. I arranged all this because I was thinking about spending the evening with you.”
“Thank you.”
They took their seats across from each other. Lawson had brought wine, which he promised to open later. He poured them each a glass of champagne, then they touched glasses.
“To a magical summer,” she said. “Thank you for bringing me here tonight.”
“I’ve been looking forward to it.”
She smiled. “Me, too.”
After they’d sipped their champagne, he began unpacking the picnic. First he handed her paper napkins and plates, then he set out the food.
“We’ll start with melon prosciutto skewers with fresh basil and mozzarella,” he said, putting a plastic container on the table. “Then we have a nice green salad with an herb vinaigrette. The entrée is a fresh corn-and-tomato fettuccine, and for dessert we have an assortment of cookies along with prosecco grapes.” He grinned. “They are grapes soaked in vodka and prosecco, then rolled in sugar.”
She stared at him, unable to fully grasp the menu. “I thought we’d have egg salad sandwiches and potato chips. How much did you make yourself?”
“My mom made the fettuccine, but I did the rest.” He gave her a half proud, half embarrassed smile. “I like to cook. One of my friends in the army came from a family that owned a couple of Italian restaurants in Cleveland. He taught me a few things.”
“And he cooks,” she murmured, thinking Lawson simply got better and better. So what was the catch?
He opened the first container and served her a couple of the skewers. The salty goodness of the prosciutto went perfectly with the sweet melon and the cheese. As she chewed her first bite she realized that she’d been too nervous to eat lunch and was starving. Good thing he’d brought plenty.
“All right,” she said, after she’d finished her second skewer. “Why aren’t you married?”
He stared at her, his eyebrows raised. “Excuse me?”
She picked up her glass of champagne. “Come on, look at you. You’re nice, you’re funny, you have a plan for your life. You’re good-looking, you can cook, you like dogs. Why aren’t you married with a couple of kids?”
She expected him to laugh or distract her, but instead he exhaled slowly.
“I haven’t found someone I can fall in love with.”
The blunt, honest answer surprised her. “Not ever?”
“Not in a while. I had the serious girlfriend I told you about, in high school. We talked about getting married, but when that didn’t work out, I took some time to think about what I wanted in my life. I dated a fair amount, but I never felt...sparks.”
“You’re not talking about passion, are you?”
“No. The other kind. I liked the women I went out with, but there wasn’t anything special. No sense that any of them could be the one I wanted to spend the rest of my life with. I don’t expect to hear angels singing, but an old-fashioned kick in the gut would be nice.” He shook his head. “Maybe I’m a fool, but I want the woman I marry to leave me thunderstruck, at least once. I want sparks, and I haven’t felt that.”
He was perfect. Okay, not perfect-perfect, but so incredibly right about so many things. How was she supposed to not throw herself at him and beg him to feel sparks with her?
“Tell me more about the high school girlfriend,” she said instead, because it seemed a much safer topic of conversation. “What was her name?”
“Cori. We were in love. Young, but we knew it was serious, and we had plans. I was going to join the army while she went to college. We were so sure we were going to make it.”
“But you didn’t.”
“No.” He shrugged. “About two years in, she told me that she liked living in a big city and that she didn’t want to go back to Wishing Tree. Not ever. Not even for me.”
Shaye knew that would have crushed him. “You, on the other hand, wanted to settle here.”
He nodded. “It wasn’t just about geography. I want to say she changed, but I’m sure it was both of us. The last time we saw each other, we didn’t fight. We didn’t anything. Whatever we’d had was gone.”
“I’m sorry.”
He smiled. “Thanks. I was sorry at the time, but looking back, I know we made the right decision.”
“That’s when you decided to figure out what you were looking for?”
“Uh-huh. Then I started dating.” The smile returned, but this time it had a touch of sadness. “I figured I’d find someone in a matter of months. But I didn’t.”
“You’re not giving up, though.”
“No. I’ll keep looking. I want to give my heart to someone special. Like I said, old-fashioned, but there we are.”
Kathy had talked about things being old-fashioned, as well.
“Sometimes being traditional is a good thing,” Shaye told him. “There’s a continuity that can be comforting.”
“So what about you? Before the jerk you told me about. Anyone special?”
“Not special enough.”
“Are you giving up looking?”
She stared into his brown eyes. If he could be honest, then she could, as well. “No, I’m not.”
THEYTALKEDALLthrough dinner. The meal was delicious, and the prosecco grapes were the perfect sweet ending to the meal. Shaye was very impressed with the thought and planning that had gone into everything. As the evening progressed, The Wreath filled up. By seven, all the tables were filled. Their little section of the circle was quiet and surprisingly romantic.
When they’d finished eating, Lawson tugged her to her feet and drew her to the dance floor. His arms came round her, pulling her close. She went willingly, surprised at how well they fit together and how good she felt being so close to him. There was a sense of...she wasn’t sure what. Belonging, maybe. She definitely felt safe, which was a wonderful sensation after being alone for so long.
Lawson was solid. He was physically strong and emotionally disciplined. He had a moral code she understood and respected. But he was also charming and way more open about his feelings than any other guy she’d ever known. She liked him. She liked him a lot, and while that should have scared her—for some reason it didn’t. Not even a little.