Pitched by Ella Goode
Chapter Ten
Georgia
I chewon my bottom lip as I try to give myself a pep talk to go into the lunchroom. Today has been really strange. Last week I felt as if I blended into the background and no one really noticed me. This week it seems as if everyone is actively avoiding me. I’m pretty sure Tricia is doing the same. Things between us haven’t been the same since the night of the party.
I thought we were fine after we talked on the phone Friday night. I’m not sure what changed. She hasn’t responded to any of my texts since then. Grams tried to reassure me that things were fine, saying that Tricia could have been grounded from her phone or maybe even broken it.
I hate this feeling of uncertainty in the pit of my stomach. Tricia has been my only friend, and I really like her. She gave me a small sense of belonging. That maybe I could fit into this world. Every time I try to grasp on to the hope of having a normal life, it slips right through my fingers. Even with very few words exchanged between Colt and me, he could tell that I didn’t belong.
“Hey, new girl.” I turn to see a tall boy coming towards me with shaggy blond hair. “About time I ran into the girl everyone is talking about. I’m Dean.” He holds his hand out for me to take.
“GG,” I say, trying to digest his words. I was right. It was a figment of my imagination that things had changed around here. People are talking about me. I don’t understand why. Panic hits me at the thought that maybe everyone has found out about my past. Just the thought makes me feel sick to my stomach.
“Dean, you dumb fuck.” Another boy comes strolling up as I pull my hand out of Dean’s. I step back when he smacks him right in the back of the head. “Stop starting shit and go get your lunch.”
“This is bullshit. I was only saying hi.” A stare-off ensues before Dean tosses a few curse words at the boy and heads into the cafeteria.
“I’m GG,” I tell the boy who is still standing in front of me.
“And I’m out of here.” He doesn't head inside the cafeteria but strolls down the hallway, stopping to talk to a small group of girls. They all giggle at something he says to them.
I try and shake it off before I walk into the cafeteria, looking all around for Tricia. I spot her at one of the tables. She glances my way but turns her face away like she didn’t see me. Maybe she didn't. I head toward the table she’s sitting at with a few other girls. They all stop talking when I reach them.
“Hey, Tricia. I’ve been texting you. Have you been getting them? I’m terrible with my phone.”
She turns her head to finally meet my gaze. “Been busy.” She shrugs as if she couldn’t care less about me.
“Oh, okay.” I stand there, an awkward feeling taking over. It’s like everyone is staring right at me. The silence grows, making me even more uncomfortable.
“I’m kind of in the middle of something here. You mind?” Her tone is cold.
“Sorry,” I say before I make my way towards the exit. Tears prick my eyes at her dismissive behavior, but I manage to hold them back. Out of the corner of my eye I spot Colt. He’s hard to miss. He towers over everyone, and his eyes are locked on me. He’s standing next to a table with some of the boys I saw at the party. That guy Dean from earlier is standing there also.
I make my escape, going to the library to eat my lunch. More than anything I want to go home but I know that’s not an option. Oh, I’m sure Grams would come get me in a second, but then it would be followed with questions and worry. She and Grandpa have done so much for me I don’t want to put anything else on them.
I pull out my Kindle to read while I eat the lunch my grandpa made for me this morning. I try to focus on the page, but my thoughts keep going back to Colt. I knew I would run into him sooner or later. The school might be big, but it’s not that big.
For some reason I got it into my head that he might text me or something. He’d taken my phone for a minute. It’s a stupid thought because he ordered me to stay away from him. But that didn’t stop me from thinking about him.
The rest of the day drags until my final class. Tricia walks into the room a few seconds before the bell rings, dropping down in her seat. She pulls her phone out and starts playing with it under the table, acting as though I don’t even exist. Mr. Brescia speaks briefly then gives us an assignment before he’s back at his desk clicking away at his computer. He’s as checked out as a lot of the other students are around here.
I hate the awkward silence that lingers between Tricia and me. I glance over to see her clicking away on her phone. There is no doubt now that she’s mad at me about something. I’m guessing it has to do with Colt.
When I was at Guiding Temple and the announcement went out that I’d been promised to the prophet Jerima, I’d experienced something similar to this. Once the girls there found out I was going to be Jerima’s next wife, a lot of them started giving me the cold shoulder. They acted as though being another wife to someone was something I wanted. As if it were some great thing that I didn’t get to choose who I’d marry.
“Colt just took me home. Nothing happened,” I blurt out.
“Like I care. You can sleep with anyone you want.” She shrugs me off.
I sit there in shock. “I’ve never slept with anyone. Is that what people are saying?”
She huffs an annoyed breath. “Something must have happened.” She turns her head, her eyes finally meeting mine. I can see the hurt lingering there. I go back to being quiet, not wanting to upset her more. Her phone chimes in her hand toward the end of class. Her head drops at whatever she just read.
“Tricia, are you okay?” I ask, but the bell rings. She hops up from her chair, and I can see the tears in her eyes. She grabs her bag, leaving without a word. I grab my own bag, letting everyone else exit before I do. Then I head to the bathroom.
When I enter, I hear sniffling in one of the stalls. I spot Tricia’s shoes underneath. She’s the only other person in here.
“Tricia. Are you okay?” I try again. I reach into my bag, pulling out some Kleenex and offering it to her under the door. “It’s fine if you don’t want to talk, but is there anything I can do to help you?”
She takes the tissues from my hand a moment before the bathroom door opens. Her face is red and blotchy from crying.
“Why are you being so nice to me? I’ve been a bitch to you.” She uses the Kleenex to wipe her nose.
“You’re upset. That’s more important than whatever it is I did to make you not want to be my friend anymore.” That only makes her start crying again.
“I’m sorry,” she says through her tears. I step in to give her a hug. I wrap my arms around her, holding her tight the same way Grams does to me when I’m upset. It always makes me feel comforted. “You’re so nice. I’m such an asshole.”
I step back from the hug. “It’s okay.”
“It’s not okay. I was being petty about the whole Colt thing. Then on Sunday my father ditched me last minute. We usually have Sunday dinner together. That’s the only time I really get to see him since he and my mom got divorced. And a few minutes ago, my mom texted me and cancelled our plans tonight. I swear it doesn’t matter how hard I try, no one seems to want me. Not Colt or even my own fucking parents.”
“I’m sorry, Tricia. It sucks feeling all alone.”
She winces at my words. “I really am sorry. I took my shit out on you, and you’ve been nothing but good and kind to me. Let me make it up to you.”
“Of course I forgive you. Isn't that what friends are supposed to do?”
“Not always.” She gives me a half smile. “You want to go to the mall? Get some food and shop? You can help me put a dent in my mom’s credit card.”
“You won’t get in trouble?” The marks on my back tingle at the thought.
“Nah. She gets mom guilt for never being around. She loves her job more than anything.”
“I understand the feeling of your own mom picking something over you. It sucks.”
“It’s messed up, but it is what it is. Let’s drown our sorrows in ice cream. You in?” she asks.
“I’d love to,” I say.
A girls’ day sounds like it’s exactly what I need to take my mind off things. And by things I mean Colt.
