Temper Him by Caitlyn Dare

Chapter Ten

Conner

It's been six days since I’ve been close to her, since I looked into her eyes, since her scent filled my nose. I don't know what I really expected her to look like when I saw her again. Part of me wanted her to be a mess, to obviously regret every second of what's happened this week, but another part of me, the nicer side, wanted her to be happy, to know that at least one of us wasn't dying inside.

But as she walks toward me, she almost looks just like the Kenny I remember so well. Her complexion is light, her clothes are normal, but it's not until I look right into her eyes that I find the real truth. And what I discover has all the air racing from my lungs.

I'm not the only one suffering here. And it fucking kills me.

Anger explodes within me. At her for putting us both through this. At Warren for being the cunt who has manipulated all of us. At James for not fixing this sooner and allowing me to take back what’s mine. At myself for waiting six fucking days to be standing in front of her.

"Why?" The word falls from my lips and echoes around the cold, abandoned locker room.

This isn't what I wanted. I didn't want my anger to get the better of me; I wanted to pull her into my arms and tell her that everything is going to be okay. But right now, seeing that look in her eyes, I'm not sure I can do it.

"I didn't have a choice, Conner."

"Bullshit," I snap, my hands coming up to tug at my hair painfully. "You always have a choice."

She shakes her head, not even bothering to try to defend her actions.

"You could have spoken to me, told me what was happening. You could have spoken to Dad, Cole, Hadley, Vager, FUCKING ANYTHING," I scream at her, my need for her to know just how badly this is ripping me apart inside is too much to contain. "But you did none of those fucking things."

I blow out a long breath, turning my back on her, much like she did to me in Colton on the weekend.

"Instead, you snuck out in the middle of the night, pretending that you don't want me anymore. That's fucking cold, K."

"I-I didn't—"

"Have a choice?" I boom. "Yeah, I got that fucking memo."

I spin back to her, the devastation now clear in her tear-filled eyes.

"I was living a lie with you, Conner. We both know that. I don't belong in the Bay, at that school. I'm a Heights girl through and through. This is my home, where I should be."

"You mean you should be with him?" I seethe, closing the space between us. "You think you deserve to be with that psychotic cunt?" She flinches at my harsh words, but we both know she can't argue with them.

We've both experienced what it's like to be on the wrong end of his fists. Okay, so I might not have been the one with the black eye, but seeing what he did to her, hurt me just as much as it did her. Only, my injuries weren't visible to anyone else.

"I-I don't—"

"Don't even think about trying to fucking defend him, K," I roar, closing the space between us until she's got no choice but to start backing up if she doesn't want us to collide—which apparently she doesn't. The sight of her keeping space between us is another stab to my already battered heart.

Her jaw drops, but only a gasp passes her lips when she bumps up against the lockers.

"Has he touched you?" I growl, needing to know exactly what I'm dealing with here. Has he just taken my girl to torture me, to prove a point? Or is there more to the deranged psycho?

"Don't... don't do this."

Red hot fury explodes in my stomach and seeps into each one of my veins at her words, at the panic on her face.

"Has he hurt you again?" My eyes flick over her exposed skin, but other than the dark circles under her eyes, I see no evidence of anything being wrong.

Not happy with that, seeing as she's wearing a huge fucking hoodie, I reach out and rip it from her, leaving her standing in just her tank.

"What the fuck are you doing?"

I scan her skin for bruises, for anything, but I find nothing.

Stepping right up to her, my hand wraps around her throat and I hold tight enough to feel the thundering of her pulse beneath my fingertips.

"Conner?" she breathes, her eyes barely able to hold mine. I have no idea what she can see within them, how out of fucking control I look right now, but I don't care.

"Has he touched you?" I breathe, my voice low and haunting.

"N-no, not yet, not really."

"Don't answer me in fucking riddles, K. Has he touched what's mine, taken what's mine?" We're so close my nose brushes against hers and the heat of her body burns into mine.

My muscles ache to pull her into my arms, to tell her everything is going to be okay, but nothing about this is okay. And before I can even consider what comes next, I need these answers.

I might just be torturing myself, because really, none of it matters, but I need to fucking know.

"No, he hasn't… Not yet."

A growl rumbles up my throat at her admission.

"But he will. I can only put him off for so long."

"You gonna give it up to him?" I regret the question the second it falls from my lips, but it's too late now. It's out in the open and hanging between us.

"What? No. Don't be so ridiculous. I don't want him anywhere near me, but I can't do much about it, can I? Is it true, Conner?"

"Is what true?" I ask, feeling like I've just been slapped with the subject change.

"What he's got on James. Is it true?"

I narrow my eyes at her, wondering how much she knows, how much Warren willingly told her, or if he's filled her full of lies and bullshit. My money would certainly be on the latter.

"That all depends on what he's told you."

"He... he wants to hurt you, all of you."

"You think that’s news to me, K? He's been doing that since the day he asked you to be his. Ripping my fucking heart out and parading it around in front of me. He's fucking sick."

"You think I don't know that? I experience that every day, every time he looks at me, every time he forces me to—" She slams her lips shut, realizing what she was just about to admit.

"When he forces you to do what, K?"

She shakes her head.

"You want to be all noble and protect me? Then you need to start by telling me the fucking truth," I shout at her, getting right in her face, but she doesn't flinch, she doesn't cower. Not to me, anyway. She knows me better than to be scared of me.

"You know damn well that he wouldn't let me get away with putting stuff off. So no, he hasn’t gotten between my legs yet, but he's had me on my knees like the little fucking slave he seems to think I am." Her anger is palpable, and I use it to feed my own.

Images flash through my mind, ones that should never, ever be there, and my body trembles with my restraint.

Kenny's eyes widen as my grip on her throat tightens, but I don't move. I can't. I'm too fucking broken.

"Conner," she breathes, and the sound of her soft, concerned voice shatters me.

"I fucking hate you right now, K. I fucking hate you," I seethe, but my actions betray my words as my lips slam on hers and my hand releases her neck in favor of allowing my fingers to thread into her hair.

Her lips part for me instantly and my tongue sweeps out in search of hers.

The second I taste her, everything inside me relaxes slightly. It doesn't make any of it go away—my anger, my need for revenge are still there, simmering right under the surface—but she allows me to focus on something else, if only for a few seconds. She gives me exactly what I've been craving since the moment she walked out of that hotel room and away from me on the weekend.

I drop my hands to her hips and lift her until she has no choice but to wrap her legs around my waist and feel what she does to me. Even while I'm hating her, I can't stop wanting her.

I grind my hips against her pussy and a moan rips from both of us.

My hands are everywhere, caressing, squeezing, teasing, but it's not enough. It's never e-fucking-nough with Kenny.

But then I make one fatal move.

I release her lips in favor of kissing down her neck, and it gives her the time she needs to think, to process what's happening here. I know exactly when she shuts down; I feel it, and not just in the way her muscles go rigid in my hold.

Pulling my face from her neck, I look at her. Tears stream down her cheeks, her dark makeup getting washed away with them. "I can't do this, Con. I can't lose myself in you again."

"Bullshit. This is me. Fuck, K. This is us." I cup her cheeks in my hands and stare into her eyes. "I need you so fucking bad."

A hiccup erupts from her throat as she tries to keep it together, but I see the storm behind her eyes. I see her breaking apart on the inside just like I am.

"I know. But I can't."

"You can, babe." I drop my forehead to hers. "It's just me. Just me and you."

"Yeah, but when I walk out of those doors, it won't be. It'll be me and him, and I can't, Conner, I just can't." Her voice cracks, and I know that I've lost her.

Reluctantly, I allow her legs to drop until she's taking her own weight once more and I step back. It fucking rips me apart inside to do so, but this isn't just about me.

A roar rips from my throat a second before my fist slams into the locker beside her head.

She screams, and all the fight leaves me.

"Shit, K. I wouldn't," I shout.

"I know," she says sadly, “you just startled me. "I... uh..." She looks over her shoulder at the door, and I swear to God my world stops spinning. "I really need to..."

"Go back to him," I finish for her.

"It's not like that, and you know it."

"Do I?" I sigh as she starts to back away from me. "I love you, K. I fucking love you."

"I know." Those two words gut me. The fact that she doesn't say it back shreds me to fucking pieces.

I watch her go, but the second she has her hand on the door, ready to push it open, I stop her.

"Wait." I push my hand into my pocket and pull out something I’m sure will mean nothing to her. "Here."

I drop the small origami flower into her hand and then turn and walk away myself, knowing that I can't bear to watch her do it to me.