Temper Him by Caitlyn Dare

Chapter Nine

Kennedy

I’m barely functioning.

Between Warren’s constant attention, his clingy, obsessive mood swings, and Jayden and Levi’s big brother routine around school, I’m a wreck.

But I stuff it all down, paste on a smile every morning, and kiss Warren on the cheek like the dutiful, doting girlfriend I’m supposed to be.

Thankfully, my period came and I’ve been able to avoid his advances. But it doesn’t stop him from using my hands and mouth at his every whim.

I feel so dirty, so used and worthless. I keep telling myself I’m doing it to protect Conner, to keep his family safe, but the lines between reality and fantasy are starting to blur. I’m starting to lose myself again...

And I hate it.

It’s Friday, and the permanent knot in my stomach is bigger than ever. The weekend should be something to look forward to, but instead it fills me with dread. I’ll have no school to escape to. No Levi and Jayden or Shelbie in my corner.

I’ll be all alone with Warren and Mitch—not that he’s any use. He’s hardly been sober since I got back, preferring to chase away his demons at the bottom of a bottle.

“You’re quiet,” Warren says, gripping my knee a little too tightly.

“Just thinking,” I murmur, watching the boarded buildings and graffitied walls roll by. The Heights in all its rundown, impoverished glory is worlds away from the Bay, despite only being a twenty-minute ride along the coast. There’s no swanky beach houses and gated communities here. There’s only crime and drugs and things that go bump in the night.

“Shark week about done?”

Warren’s crass words make me flinch, but his fingers sliding up my thigh make my stomach churn.

Please God, no. Not here. Not before school.

“Almost,” I sing, forcing a smile.

“Fuck yes. I’ve got plans for you this weekend, baby. Big plans.” He grabs his junk and shoots me a wolfish smile that makes me want to gouge my eyes out and puke at the same time.

Thankfully, Heights High comes into view and with it, the streams of kids filing through the gate.

“I never liked this place,” Warren muses. “At least you’ve only got a few weeks left.” He finds a parking spot and cuts the engine. “And then you’ll be free and we can start planning our future.” He says it as if we actually have options.

Warren graduated last summer, and, like most kids who manage to get their diploma from Heights High, he’s still here, earning money the only way he knows how—through back alley deals and the odd hacking job. Warren is a whizz on computers. Like, insanely good. If he didn’t live in the Heights and have Mitch for a dad, he could probably have gone to MIT or something. But kids from the Heights don’t soar high. If they’re lucky, they might get a full ride to a decent college out of state, but even that’s unlikely.

“Yeah.” I struggle to keep the defeat out of my voice.

“Hey, Kennedy, look at me.” He tugs my hand sharply and I lift my eyes to his. I’m like a marionette, a slave to his strings. “I’ll take care of you, baby. You know that right?”

Pressing my lips together, I nod.

“Good girl.” His thumb finds its way to the pillow of my lip. He pushes slowly, forcing the digit inside my mouth. If kids walk too close to his car, they’ll see us like this.

They’ll see him degrading me.

“Suck,” he orders.

My eyes flutter shut as I close my mouth around his thumb and obey.

“God, I wish I could fuck your pretty little mouth again.”

Tears burn the backs of my eyes, but I don’t allow them to fall. The longer I’m with Warren, the easier it is to shut down my emotions. Soon there will be nothing left, and I’ll be dead inside.

Conner had slowly begun to bring me back to life, but I realize now how foolish that had been. It’s only going to make everything hurt that much more this time around.

Finally, he pulls his thumb out and I inhale a shaky breath.

“Listen, I have a thing to take care of later. I might be late.”

“What thing?”

“Don’t worry your pretty little head about it.” He smirks.

“It’s okay, I can catch a ride with Shelbie. I’m sure she won’t mind.”

“You’ll come straight home?”

“Where else would I go?” I shrug. “You know,” I hesitate, “it would make life easier if you give me my cell phone back.”

“Already on it,” he says.

“Yeah?” A seed of hope takes root inside me.

“I’m getting you a new one. But you’ll have to wait until your birthday.”

A new phone. Which probably means he’s put a tracker on it to monitor my every move.

“Thank you.” I smile, but it doesn’t reach my eyes.

“I don’t want to keep you caged up like some animal, Ken. But after what happened... I need to be able to trust you, baby.”

He talks like I was the one who beat myself half to death. But that’s Warren; he doesn’t think like most people. He’s paranoid and highly strung, and where I’m concerned he’s borderline psycho with stalker tendencies.

“You can trust me,” I say.

A knock on the window startles me and I turn to find Shelbie grinning at me.

“She’s really starting to fucking annoy me.” Warren is referring to the fact that she’s personally escorted me from his car every morning.

It’s weird—I wouldn’t have called Shelbie my best friend before I went to the Bay, but since returning, she’s been nothing but rock solid. It’s a small mercy in this nightmare I’ve found myself in.

“So I’ll see you later at the trailer?” I lean over to kiss his cheek, but Warren catches my neck and plants a big, sloppy kiss on my lips.

“I want to come home and find you naked and waiting for me, okay?”

“Mm-hmm,” I mumble, reaching for the door. “Have a good day.”

“Hey, girl. Warren,” Shelbie clips out.

“Garret, always a pleasure.”

Giving him a small wave, I slam the door and enjoy the smell of freedom.

“You seem different.” Shelbie regards me for a second before looping her arm through mine.

“I’m okay,” I lie.

Because I don’t have the heart to tell her that she’s right.

I am different.

I’m slowly withering away.

The longer I stay in the Heights with Warren, the more pieces of my heart will rot.

Until eventually, there’s nothing left.

* * *

“We need to talk,” Levi says, sliding his tray onto the table.

“Take a seat, why don’t you,” I quip as if he and Jayden haven’t sat with us for the last four lunchtimes. We don’t talk much, not really. We eat our questionable lunches, Shelbie occasionally teases Jayden about whatever drama he’s managed to get himself tangled up in, and then we go our separate ways. I have one class with Jayden, two with Levi, and homeroom and the rest of my classes with Shelbie. Between the three of them, they’ve managed to cover most of my schedule.

Before I would have said it was unnecessary, but now there’s something comforting about knowing they have my back. In an odd kind of way, having Levi and Jayden around makes me feel close to Conner.

“Is Warren picking you up from school?”

“I’m riding with Shelbie today, why?”

“Good,” he murmurs. “That’s good.”

“Okay, what am I missing?”

He and Jayden share a look. Jayden shrugs, and Levi lets out a long breath.

“After class, head to the swimming pool locker rooms.”

“What?” I hiss with disbelief. No one goes in the pool house. It’s been out of bounds for years. The pool was deemed unsafe so they closed the entire building. It’s sat there empty ever since.

“It’ll be open. You can walk right in.”

“Yeah, but why would I want to do that?”

“Just make sure you’re there, Kenny.” Levi grumbles, but Jayden’s eyes give them away.

“Conner,” I breathe. “No, he can’t. He can’t risk it.” I lean across the table. “You have to tell him not to come. I mean it, Levi. Promise me.”

“Have you met Jagger?” he scoffs. “He’ll do what he wants with or without our help. We figured at least this way, he shouldn’t get caught.”

“He’s really coming here?” I don’t know how to feel about it. On the one hand I’m so fucking relieved. But on the other, I’m terrified. He’ll know. He’ll take one look at me and know I’ve let Warren touch me.

“Yeah. You need to head straight to the pool house after class,” Levi whispers. “Take the back path and you should be undetected.”

“I...” Do I really want to do this?

Do I really want to betray Warren and risk seeing Conner?

I shouldn’t. But I need a chance to explain. I need a chance to apologize. I just need to see him, even for a few minutes.

Guilt rises inside me like a tidal wave. I’m doing this to protect Conner and his family, but part of me had wondered if they would all write me off.

“Are you sure this is a good idea?” My voice trembles.

“It’s pretty simple, K,” Levi scoffs. “You go easily, or you don’t and Jagger chases you down. He’s determined to see you, whether you play ball or not.”

A shiver runs down my spine at his words. Conner is pissed. He has to be. I left like a thief in the night. Even though I had good reason to, he won’t see it like that.

Because he loves you.

I shut down the little voice.

I can’t be weak, not now. Not when there’s too much at stake.

“Hey,” Shelbie says, covering my hand with hers. “It’ll be okay, Kennedy.”

I want to believe her, I do. But seeing Conner again, staring him in the eye after everything that’s happened... I’m not sure I’ll survive it.

* * *

By the end of the day, my heart is a runaway train in my chest. I barely heard anything the teacher said in last period, the roar of blood in my ears so loud everything else is white noise.

The hall is chaos as I file out of the classroom. Levi catches my eye, giving me an encouraging nod. I’m surprised he isn’t personally walking me to the pool house, but I know we need to be discreet.

Shelbie, however, does intercept me. Lacing her arm through mine, she says, “So I’ll hang around in the library, and if Warren suspects anything, we’ll tell him I had to finish a paper.”

“Okay.” The knot in my stomach is so tight I feel a little nauseous.

“Hey, it’ll be okay, you know?”

“Will it?” My palms grow slicker with every step. We slip out of the back exit and loop around one side of the building, cutting across the path to the abandoned pool house.

Conner is in there. I can feel him. My heart pounds harder in my chest and my steps falter.

“Maybe this isn’t such a good idea.” I grab Shelbie’s arm, grinding to a halt.

“I know you’re scared,” she says softly, her eyes alight with sympathy. “But it’s Conner, K. He would never hurt you.”

I nod despite the way my stomach churns.

“Go,” she encourages. “You got this. Just don’t be too long. We don’t want to make Warren suspicious.”

I nod again, dragging in a calming breath.

Shelbie doesn’t follow this time. I walk the last few steps alone, until I reach the doors. Sure enough, I find them unlocked and slip inside. I’ve only been in here once before, when Conner and I were in ninth grade. We skipped class once and hung out in here.

Finally, I reach the locker room doors.

Here goes nothing.

I push it open and step inside and his head snaps up. His eyes are dark and bloodshot, and his jaw looks painfully clenched.

“You came,” he says flatly, so devoid of emotion it breaks my heart all over again.

“Yeah,” I say.

He stands up, taking the air with him. “We need to talk, K.”

“Yeah.” My stomach twists violently. “I know.”