Denied Mate by Roxie Ray
Liv
Ifigured the grief would hit when the shock wore off. But sitting beside Cal on a local Bridgehaven bus, I felt like I wasn’t shaken up at all. I leaned against him and didn’t care when the potholes through Westend made my temple bounce on his shoulder. I basked in the smell of him, the strong musky scent he’d worked up, and let my eyelids flutter shut as each inhale went straight to my head. Lust muffled my panic, wrapped it up in a tidy little package I could easily ignore. I wanted to straddle the man beside me, wrap my legs around his hips and let him take me.
But we had to get the fuck out of Bridgehaven first. I’d killed Lisa, and he’d just about done the same to Ben. The pack wouldn’t take kindly to us. Retribution would be swift and probably deadly.
We took the bus toward the motel, a long winding route through the roughest neighborhoods. I didn’t want to risk Ben recognizing my car — or Maren’s. In the dark parts where the street lights were sparse, our faces reflected back at us off the black windows. Cal looked handsome, tired, and determined. I looked wild. I’d washed off my make-up with wipes Maren had in her car, but my hair was everywhere and the look in my eye was…powerful. I barely recognized myself…but I liked what I saw.
It was still an hour from dawn and we were the only passengers for miles but we sat in silence even though there was no one to overhear us. I was happy just being beside him. I hoped he felt the same, though maybe he was more shaken up than I was. Maybe he was good at hiding it. I didn’t mind. I’d wait. I closed my eyes and breathed deeper, bringing his scent all the way down to my belly and lower, until I was throbbing between my legs and barely able to sit still.
The stop closest to the motel was still a ten-minute walk, and we padded along the quiet road, hand in hand. My pack weighed heavy on my shoulders. Cal held Maren’s duffel in his other hand. Every step made my wolf whine louder; it was desperate to tangle with his. Maren had given us a few hours alone while she organized our exodus before she’d come by and pick us up. It was plenty of time, but I wanted more.
“Are you okay?” His voice was low and rumbling.
I squeezed his fingers to reassure him I really was fine. “Yeah, I am now that you’re here.”
A tiny smile twitched at his lips and he stole a glance at me. Flutters broke through me. I had it bad.
But I stopped walking as unfinished business surged up with a jolt. “Cal, I need to tell you about your dad.”
His frown was concerned, not angry. He nodded, like he’d put it together himself. “You saw it.”
“I saw…” The words left me. What had I seen, exactly? “I saw them together at Landsedge. Your dad, and mine. I didn’t see what happened… But they were there together the night David went missing.”
His grip loosened. My wolf wined, worried I’d gone and ruined this moment—or whatever was growing between us.
“I didn’t tell you, but I should have.” I tried to catch his gaze but he was intent on looking straight over my shoulder, a thousand miles away. “Cal, I’m sorry. They kicked you out of the pack and I had to obey or… Well, maybe I didn’t have to. But I did.”
“You were a kid.” He inhaled deeply and tightened his grip. “I…” He exhaled out the breath, looking down before looking back at me. “I forgive you, Liv. It wouldn’t have made a difference if I knew. He’s still gone.” I frowned and worried the bottom of my lip. I wasn’t sure if that was supposed to make me feel better or not, but the sting of the rejection that immediately followed what I witnessed played back over in my mind.
He tugged at my hand gently and nodded to the glowing orange sign of the Three Rivers Motel, barely a block away. I bit down on the inside of my cheek a little harder. Shame wanted to keep my feet planted; hope made me follow him.
I dragged my thumb along his and nodded. We needed to keep moving and leave the past behind.
The motel room was more disgusting than I’d expected but it seemed familiar somehow. Striped wallpaper once matched the burgundy bedspread but had faded to pink with age and now clashed terribly. It smelled like The Lair with a heavy edge of musty sweat, and something sharp which made my nose twitch—the remnants of the last occupants’ party caught in the dingy carpet fibers, maybe. A minibar fridge rattled and clacked loudly in the corner, and the bedside lamps flickered behind their tassel shades for a full minute before they fully came on.
Cal dumped the key on the dresser and let the door shut behind him. His long fingers lingered on the key ring, a gold number 11, and he slowly dragged his dark gaze up to me. Energy buzzed between us. The minibar settled into a low hum, and Cal’s breath heaved high in his chest. He was so fucking hot—his muscles bulging in his shirt, his face serious but soft at the same time.
I stepped forward and an inch was all it took. He swept toward me and wrapped me up into a kiss. His thick lips were a treat I’d earned, and I kissed, licked and nipped them, completely absorbed by the desire rushing through me. I had him, finally, but I wanted more.
We stumbled backward into the tiny bathroom and he hitched me up onto the counter. I’d been in my red dress so long it felt like a second skin, and vulnerability snapped in my chest as he unzipped the back. Desperate to get him just as naked, I yanked his t-shirt over his head, and gasped when I saw it in the dim light from the bedroom.
Cal was built; his defined pecs were covered by a single skull tattoo. Just like in my dream. Shit, the whole motel room was familiar because I had been there before. In my dream. The dream with Cal. The realization made my breath catch in my throat.
I held it there and pressed my palm to his heart. Heat ran through me and my head spun. Woozy, like I’d been knocked over the head by fate. Like I had stepped out of reality and back into my dream. This was always going to happen. I couldn’t shake the words until he tilted my chin up and kissed me again. He kissed me slowly this time. Gently. Like I was precious, something worthy of his absolute adoration. Everything faded away. It made my knees weak and I wrapped my arms around his neck, fingertips pressing into his skin. Just him, his tongue pressing into me, and my pussy aching for the same.
I moaned into his kiss, kicked off my shoes, and urged him up against me. He gave me what I wanted, his cock already hard in his jeans as he ground it between my legs. We gasped into our mouths and muffled loud moans with a deeper kiss.
It was like we were made to fit together. The promise of his dick made my insides quiver and ache in excitement.
He smoothed his hand into the neckline of my dress, the fashion tape long gone, and cupped my breast. It was small in his big hand but the way he squeezed my flesh made me feel like a fucking goddess. My nipples hardened in his palm, my clit throbbed in my panties, and I hurried to work open his belt buckle without taking my mouth off his.
Cal cradled my face, his fingers touching the soft spot behind my ear. Our eyes met and we breathed heavy, lips parted and frozen by each other’s attention. A flurry of memories flashed through me; his hand in mine as we stepped into our first school dance, ten years old and identical in height, him in a tiny tux and me in a fluffy pink thing he teased me about. The ache when I’d glimpsed him in town, seventeen and filled out like a linebacker, before I turned away and laughed with girls I could barely remember now. How fucking handsome he was, standing in my apartment the first night he’d come to me for help.
“I’ve wanted you for so long,” he whispered, but they could have been my words.
He wrestled my dress down my hips and we laughed into our kiss as I wriggled it off. With his hands all over me, he touched me with what felt like decades of built-up adoration. Goosebumps prickled across my skin, soothed by the warmth of his lips as he kissed my neck.
I wanted him inside me so badly. Any of him. All of him. I pulled my knees up, urging him to slide his hands lower. He dragged them over the curve of my waist, making it feel impossibly small, and I leaned back, letting a whimper escape my throat. But he lifted me and I laughed, wrapped my arms around his neck, and tightened my legs around his hips. He carried me into the shower as we laughed with our noses pressed against each other. He twisted the knob to turn the faucet on without taking a single step away from me. Hot water poured over us and I gasped at the spray, shockingly strong for such a dive motel, but quickly melted into its warmth. The week had tightened every muscle, fried every nerve, and worked me into a tight coil. Fuck, I needed release.
Tiny bottles and soap wrapped in wax paper fell to the tile floor as I propped against a shelf and braced myself with a tight grip around Cal’s neck. He kissed me, soft at first and then harder, deeper. Water poured over us, and his skin glowed like living amber. My heels dug into the shelf and I opened myself to him. He took me. I gasped in steam as he pressed between my folds with two fingers.
He swept up some of the moisture there and rubbed his fingers around my opening without ever dipping inside. I whimpered. Cal smiled against my skin and shifted his fingers, working my clit with perfect pressure until my legs were twitching. My vision swam. My thighs tensed and I tried to drag him closer. I whined for more.
Mercifully, Cal was in a giving mood. He pressed one, then two fingers into me, taking his sweet time as he sunk in inch by inch. I bit down on my lip and threw my head back, urging him deeper with a grip on his wrist. He gave it to me as hard as I wanted. Deep, rhythmic and exactly where I liked it. Energy coiled inside me and he yanked at it, like pulling at a rope, dragging my orgasm closer. It was fast—faster than anything I’d experienced before, even with other wolf shifters. I couldn’t catch my breath or understand how he was doing it to me.
“Oh, fuck! Yes!” I scrambled like a wild animal, heels against his thighs, nails dragging at his shoulders.
He held me in place and kept going. Harder. Faster. The world spun and I couldn’t keep my eyes open, but fuck, I wanted him to see right into me as I came. I wanted him to know what he was doing to me. I held his face and stared deep into him, rolled my hips to meet his rhythm, and started to come.
Starts sparked across my vision but I held my eyes open, determined to see the man who was blowing my mind. He dug deeper, pushed harder against my perfect spot, and I yelped as I shook with pleasure and my pussy squirted hot fluid all over his hand. The release was intense and left me trembling, gasping, and overwhelmed.
I melted against him. I could barely keep my head up. It occurred to me that Cal hadn’t actually gotten anything yet, and I reached my hand down. He swatted me away, gently, and kissed my temple. I huffed, but I didn’t have the energy to argue. I let him fumble with the bar of soap instead, scrubbing us both. It felt like I blinked and the shower was over. I followed Cal out, allowing him to dry my hair and wrap me in a scratchy towel.
The sensation was enough to wake me up a little. I grabbed Cal by his wrist and led him back towards the bed, pausing only long enough to whip back the covers. I dragged him down with me. Cal landed beside me, lingering only long enough to kiss my jaw, and then he was pulling the towel away. It was discarded on the floor.
I huffed, about to complain; he kissed my hipbone and I forgot anything and everything I had even considered saying. Cal didn’t stop there. He kept kissing me, slowly trailing down to the space between my legs. Just when I thought he was going to touch me where I really wanted, he paused and glanced up through his dark lashes. “Cal,” I whispered, pleading. He grinned, and I knew I was doomed. I dropped my head back against the pillows.
The infuriating man just chuckled to himself and moved to my other side, bestowing the same affection on my right hip as he did my left. This time when he hesitated, he bit the inside of my thigh. “Cal!” I shrieked, tensing up. He used my distraction against me, slipping between my legs. He smoothed both palms up my thighs and ran his tongue along my folds, shameless. My legs shook.
“Should I stop?” he asked, so close I could feel his breath against my skin.
I shook my head back and forth, fingers curling into the sheets. “Use your words,” he rumbled, hovering so very close, and giving me absolutely nothing.
I gasped and rolled my hips. When he pulled his face back, I whimpered. “Cal, Cal, please. Don’t stop. Please don’t stop.”
That was all it took. He went down on me like he’d been waiting ten years for the privilege, running his tongue along my folds to taste me. My clit throbbed. It had been so long since anyone had touched me like this, much less with such care.
Cal slid one hand from my thigh between my legs, using his fingers to spread my inner lips. He lapped at my pussy like a dog; it was sloppy and enthusiastic and I almost couldn’t handle it. A shaky sigh escaped from my parted lips and I shoved one hand into his thick curls. Apparently, that was an invitation, and he slid two fingers inside me with no more warning than that. I tensed around him and shivered, rocking my hips down. I wanted more. I needed more.
He was not one to disappoint. I could practically feel his smile against my skin before he sealed his lips over my clit; he flicked the tip of his tongue over the sensitive bundle of flesh, making every nerve in my body sing. A voiceless gasp escaped as he suckled and licked. Heat quickly pooled in my belly and I tried to squirm, but Cal held me still with the hand he’d left on my thigh. My gasp became a helpless whine as I undulated, quickly being driven to madness as he alternated between fingering me and worshiping my clit.
If I didn’t stop him now, I was going to climax without him, and I literally could not think of something worse. The hand I left petting his curls tightened; when he didn’t respond, I gave a gentle tug. I swear the groan I got in response made me even wetter.
“Don’t suppose you’ve carried a condom around with you through all this?” I whispered.
“No, but I bet I’ll find one in”—he leaned over to rifle through the bedside drawer— “here.”
Victory. A whole unopened box.
I hummed in uncertainty at the packaging. “These aren’t extra-large…”
He laughed as he ripped one open, and looked down at me with an adoring smile. “You’re too kind.”
I wasn’t being kind. His cock was fucking huge. The tip alone made me gasp as he pressed into me, and the head pushed me open with a delicious squeeze. I held tight to his shoulders and moaned as a spike of pain set the pleasure even higher. He was being gentle. Sweet, even. I wanted his wild side.
“Fuck me, wolf,” I whispered.
He growled low in his chest and rocked back, as if he were simply considering my request. I wrapped my fingers around his bicep and gave him my most pleading look. “Wolf,” I sighed. That was all I managed to get out before he slammed deep inside me. A cry pushed out of my throat and my back arched, my hips rising to meet his thrusts. Oh, god, oh, god, it felt good to have him inside me.
“Cal!”
There, right in that very moment, he picked up the pace—just like my dream. Sweat beaded on his brow, and he rolled his hips to angle deeper inside me. His pace was perfect, he pressed the heel of his hand against my clit, providing me with a delicious sense of friction.
“I can’t believe I’m having sex with Cal Meyers,” I rushed.
He laughed, breathy and short. “I can’t believe I’m having sex with the queen of the pack.”
A bolt of pleasure shot up from my belly and my pussy throbbed around his thick cock. Right on the edge, I huffed. He seemed to sense my frustration and shifted slightly, sliding one hand beneath the small of my back. The angle made me see stars as he ground against me; I squeezed down on him and whimpered. I opened my mouth to say something. Anything. A whine trailed up instead as I came, nails clawing into his arms.
Cal growled; chasing his own completion. I loved it. Loved the sound of skin on skin, loved that I could make him frenetic like this. It didn’t take much more than that for him to find the edge, spilling over with a low groan of satisfaction. He pressed his face into my shoulder, both of us panting in the aftermath.
“Cal,” I sighed, like it was the only word I remembered how to say. He eased himself out and I whined at the loss, lying bonelessly where he left me. The mattress dipped as he disappeared to clean up; I’d almost drifted off entirely when he returned with a clean washcloth, wiping me up gently. What a gentleman, I thought distantly.
I reached out, grabbing his wrist and tugging him close. I knew we couldn’t stay like this. Not for long. But for a moment. “Stay,” I exhaled, closing my eyes. “Please.”
He didn’t say anything, but I knew he smiled, somehow. A moment later, the mattress dipped again, and Cal slid into the bed behind me. He snugged an arm around my middle and pulled me close. We were aligned, skin to skin—and for a moment, just a moment, everything was right in my world.
“Knock, knock!”Maren shouted before she actually knocked.
I tightened my towel. “Come in!”
She gently eased the door open and sighed in relief when she saw us. “The front desk guy wouldn’t tell me where you were, so I’ve met a few really lovely people here in the other rooms.”
Cal chuckled and buckled his belt. Maren tossed her duffel to me, full and heavy this time. I was relieved to find it stuffed with my clothes—jeans, shirts, trainers and every pair of underwear in my drawer. No sticky red dresses. Much better than the single change I shoved into my bag. Funny thing about packing when you aren’t paying attention—you pack total garbage.
I put a hand on my heart as I yanked out a comfortable gray sweater. “Thank you.”
“I’ve got your scrunchies here too.” Maren rolled up her shirt sleeve to reveal six of my favorites.
“My hero!”
Maren didn’t forget about Cal either. She chucked a backpack his way, nowhere near as full as my bag, but he pulled out a black t-shirt and light blue jeans with a smile. “Thanks, Maren.”
“I hope they fit. The guy I stole them from was kind of your size, I think.”
“You stole these?”
“Just off a clothesline!” She threw her hands up in innocence. “It’s his own fault for leaving them out overnight.”
“You’re more badass than I gave you credit for.” He slipped the t-shirt on, a little tight but not too bad.
Maren beamed like she’d been given the greatest compliment of her life. “Thanks.”
I leaned back into Cal’s space. He smelled a little different, but I couldn’t quite put my finger on it. It smelled…it smelled really good though. It smelled like home. The thought struck me like a bolt of lightning. I was happy. Like… really, truly happy. That strange, ever-present void was missing. I swallowed, almost afraid to say anything, lest I wake up from this absolute dream.
I glanced up at Cal, chewing on the inside of my lip. “Can we stop by to see your mom?”
He swallowed thickly and shook his head. “No, it’s not safe. We need to go.”
I huffed a sigh and frowned, but he didn’t seem bothered by it. Was he nervous? Did this make him nervous? I… Well, shit, given everything that happened today, much less this week, I figured he did have the right to worry, about me and his mom, really. “Okay,” I decided, slipping my hand into his. “After, then?”
Cal seemed to think a little longer. This time, he nodded. “Yeah,” he said, squeezing my hand. “Later. Later would be good.”
