Denied Mate by Roxie Ray
Liv
The turnoff to the Landsedge Cliffs was lit up these days, and the streetlights blurred in the rain as I drove back over to the family mansion, taking the shortcut I hated using. The streets out there used to be dark and there was a tiny path that cut through the woods at the northern edge of town and broke out to the shoreline. The last time I’d been through there was the final night I’d seen Cal’s dad alive. The last night any of us had.
I’d followed the trail out looking for my dad. It had finally starting getting dark, and I was about to turn for home when I saw David and my dad on the edge of the cliffs from afar. Well, cliffs were sort of a strong word for them, but when I was a kid, I’d thought they were tallest things in the world. At thirteen, they still seemed impressive. I could still remember the shape of my dad’s blond hair and David’s dark curls against the dreary darkening sky. I knew they’d left Cal’s house together, but I—as well as my mother, or she wouldn’t have sent me out—had expected him to have been home well before dinner.
They looked serious, and I had been struggling with whether I should just turn and go home; let my father deal with being that late for dinner. But the wind changed, and I picked up a scent. Anger—my dad’s. I recognized it easily enough. He wasn’t quick to anger but I remembered the stink of it from when an old witch threatened our pack.
And tinged with the anger was fear. David’s. The longer I sat, frozen, the more I realized they were both angry and both afraid. I don’t think my dad had ever been afraid of anything. No sooner had I realized that than it escalated suddenly, wildly. Terse words became incoherent shouts and snarls. Posturing became swinging limbs. They were fighting, shoving each other and shouting, the sound lost in the roar of the waves smashing against the cliffs. In the next second, Cal’s dad was gone. A silent terror welled up in me as it set in. There was no coming back from that. I’d never been so frightened; my wolf ripped through me in that moment, my intense need to run overwhelming everything else—
A horn blasted through my memory. I’d been sitting at the intersection near the road to Landsedge, oblivious to traffic mounting behind me.
“Sorry!” I cried, even though no one could hear me. I flicked on my blinker and turned quickly toward the circular avenues, driving closer to the mansion.
The familiarity of the streets let me slip back into my memory. When I’d heard the news that David was missing, my guts had rolled with nausea. I knew Dad had fought with David. I knew Dad had fought with Cal’s mother. But that was all I knew, and I very much wanted none of it to be true. I’d gone to Dad’s study to talk to him about it. He and I were close. We didn’t have secrets.
He’d hummed in consideration and frowned. “You saw me at Landsedge? Are you sure?”
“Yes?” I nodded, standing beside him, and gripping the arm of his chair. “You can tell me what happened.”
My dad had looked me right in the eye, his face serious and stoic. He was about to confess to me, I was sure of it. It would be a burden to live with his secret or to have to expose the truth myself…but I was prepared to take it on. I knew something sinister had happened, and I needed it confirmed. Not just for me, but for Cal. He deserved to know what had happened to his father. He said he hadn’t wanted to ever see me again, but I was certain if I just figured out what happened, he’d apologize. There was no reason for him to be so angry, or so mean.
“Liv.” He put a hand on his heart. “I wasn’t there. You believe me, don’t you?”
I’d felt so small. Suddenly lost, and completely confused. I couldn’t pry my lips open to speak. I couldn’t even nod. I’d been cut out from my father’s confidence, but he quickly pulled me back in.
“You know, there’s something I want to tell you about David.” He dropped his voice to a conspiratorial whisper. “No one else knows yet. Think you can handle a big secret?”
I’d never nodded with so much enthusiasm.
My dad had lowered his head like he was mourning when he told me the news. “David betrayed the pack. His family is going to be excommunicated.”
“Wait, what?” I’d stepped back, smacked by a bolt of panic like I’d never felt before. “Why?”
Dad stayed calm. “It doesn’t matter why, Liv. I went to speak to him before he—”
“Before he disappeared?! You know that looks really bad, right?” I laughed in shock, my head reeling with what I knew I’d seen and what he was telling me. I was thirteen, but I wasn’t stupid. I’d watched TV. I could practically smell the drama this would brew.
“It can look however it looks. I’m telling you because you’re close with Cal, and it’s going to be difficult, I know that...but you mustn’t speak with him again—”
My jaw fell so far open, it hurt. “You can’t.” I hadn’t told him Cal and I were fighting. It had only been a day; in my naivety, I didn’t expect my friend to actually hold a grudge. He would realize he was wrong, how important I actually should be to him; he would apologize, and everything would get better.
“It had to be done.”
“Dad! Please.” The tears had come all on their own and my pitch shot right into whining little girl mode. I winced at how I sounded and tried to find a tone more…alpha-ish. Adult. More convincing. “You can’t kick out Cal. He just lost his dad!”
“Olivia.” Mom appeared in the doorway, her voice snapping with anger. “Do not speak to your father like that!”
I ran from his study in tears. Cal had lost his father, but that day, I felt like I had lost a part of mine, too.
My wolf huffedand I blew a heavy breath between my lips as I pulled up to the mansion for the second time that night. Most of the lights were off but I could see Mom and Ben in the living room, the blue glaze of the television lighting their profiles and matching wine glasses.
Dread dragged my shoulders forward. There was no way they were going to listen to me—not about anything important, and especially not about the Meyers. But I had to try. I had told Cal I would try, and I wanted to be good for my word. I wanted to do right by him. I wanted to make everything up to him and give him a reason to talk to me again. Because now that he’d started, I didn’t want him to stop. Hell, I’d do anything to hear his chuckle again.
Ben answered the door and laughed when he saw me. “Mom! Someone’s delivered a wet rat.”
“Ha-ha.” I slid past him and hung my raincoat, shaking off the bad memory. “I need to ask you a favor, I guess.”
“A favor?” Mom called from the other room, nursing a glass of red. “You guess?”
I sighed. Her hearing was always too damn sharp, you couldn’t get away with whispering anywhere in the house while she was there.
The living room held the same sofas I’d grown up on, a huge sofa matching the one in my apartment, except way, way bigger. The same chairs Cal and I had leaped from as kids, diving into the “pool” we’d imagined in the middle of the room. They all had new upholstery, though—stainless, crisp white which made me feel nervous to sit on them.
I stood in the middle of the room and mustered up all the authority I could manage. “Cal Meyers came to see me tonight.”
“Oh, did he?” Mom perched on the arm of a sofa and raised her eyebrows. “I’m surprised he’s still in town after all these years.”
Ben turned off the television and stood opposite me, his body language mimicking mine with his arms crossed and shoulders back.
“Christine’s in the hospital. She was attacked tonight.” I delivered my lines to Mom, who I thought would care to hear a woman her age had been a victim of violence. A fellow wolf, no less. A mother.
She didn’t flinch. She didn’t even blink. All she did was sip her wine. My skin prickled.
Ben growled low with uncertainty and frowned. “I’m sorry to hear that.”
“Cal came to me for help. He’s certain whoever attacked his mom is going to try to finish the job.” I breathed deeply and looked at the alpha with equal parts demand and pleading. “They need protection.”
“He’s called the police, I assume?” Mom asked.
I snorted. “They need the pack to protect them, Mom.” Like it needed to be spelled out. She and I both knew the police were worthless if whoever it was already knew how to injure a wolf. Either they were a wolf themselves, or some sort of hunter. If they could hurt a wolf, they could outsmart the local police.
She clucked her tongue. “Well, too bad they’re not part of the pack, dear.”
Flabbergasted, I turned to Ben, but he was unyielding too. “David Meyers made his choice. He went against the pack.”
“Oh, come on!” I huffed. “It was fifteen years ago. Cal was a kid, and I doubt Christine had much sway over David’s actions, whatever they were. It should be water under the bridge now. Dad—”
I literally bit my tongue just in time, but Mom inhaled sharply like she knew where I was taking my line of reasoning. An old grudge shouldn’t matter, now that Dad was dead. Shit. Shouldn’t have gone there.
“Liv.” Ben’s voice rumbled with warning. “Dad excommunicated them for a good reason.”
“Do you know what the reason was?” I could tell from the flicker in his eye he did not—or he did, but sure as hell wasn’t going to tell me. “There’s more to the story than anyone let on, and you know it. I was at the beach near Landsedge that day. I know Dad was there when David fell—”
“You were thirteen years old, Olivia.” Mom stood and set her glass on the side table with a clunk. “And very prone to flights of fancy and creating a world in your imagination, I might add.”
“Whatever you think you saw, it was wrong.” Ben’s face flushed bright red. “Stop bringing Dad into this, don’t debase his memory—”
“I’m not!” I held up my hands, then took a deep breath and exhaled through my nose. My wolf rumbled; I could practically feel her narrowing her eyes. She was not impressed, but she was displeased with me, or Ben; and fighting was getting me nowhere. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to bring Dad into this. I love him and nothing will stop me from loving him. I miss him. I miss him so much. But there’s something off about all of this and it doesn’t add up.”
Ben frowned and tightened his arms. “How so?”
A mystery always got Ben’s interest. At least some things stayed the same.
“Why would David betray Dad?” I lowered my voice and stepped close to Ben. “They were best friends. Our families were so close. You can’t tell me it hasn’t kept you up at night, wondering what happened.”
Mom snapped. “You were a nosy child then, and you still are! Sticking your nose into grown-up affairs you know nothing about. Just stop it, Olivia!”
“Then just tell us what happened!” I pleaded. Something had happened. I hadn’t considered that my father had confided in his wife before, but why wouldn’t he?
“Being an alpha calls for making difficult decisions.” She shut her thin lips tightly and didn’t say another word. “Just because you must make them does not mean you like them.”
With one last card to play, I closed my eyes and dealt my ace.
“Mom. You and Christine were friends too, and if the roles were reversed…” I found strength in the face of my mother’s harsh, cold glare. Honestly, that look could make lesser beings wither. “Even after what we did to her and Cal, Christine would make sure you got the care and protection you needed, no questions asked. Or if it were me, or Ben? She’d help us, too. And you know it.”
Her pursed lips twitched. Her eyes flickered away, and she stared at the wall. I hated comparing them, I hated thinking too hard about my mother’s parenting style in general. My heart hurt from manipulating my mom’s emotions, but I was desperate. And maybe…I was a little relieved to see she wasn’t as cold as I sometimes thought.
She sighed and her shoulders dropped in defeat. “Benjamin?”
My brother hadn’t moved from his spot, his gaze only flicking between me and our mother. He shifted his weight and tucked his chin down, looking at neither of us. “I’ll send a protection unit to Westend Community Unit—”
“They’re at Bridgehaven General.” I found a last inch of bravery and pushed a little further. “Not that they can afford it.”
My mother closed her eyes and exhaled through her nose. When she opened them, she looked to Ben. Though he didn’t look up, he frowned, and then added on, “And have Christine’s bill taken care of. Anonymously.”
After a moment of heavy silence, my mother stood and nodded. She pressed a gentle kiss to the side of Ben’s face and murmured something to him. I didn’t strain my hearing, even if I could have, easily. For some reason, that felt too private for even me to pry.
Ben was on his phone in an instant and I bit back a smile at my success. I’d never been able to make a difference to the way my family handled things. Maybe I’d been too meek before—maybe being more independent was helping me find my strength after all.
“We’ll provide the help requested, Olivia. But don’t let it go to your head. We won’t be welcoming the Meyers back into the pack. What’s done is done.” Mom stepped closer and whispered to me, a tinge of harshness returning to her voice. “Leave dead wolves to lie.”
Ben organizeda small security detail to watch over Christine at the hospital on the next morning, and I left the family home with a warm sense of pride, knowing I’d done a good deed. The rain eased to a drizzle as I drove back toward the downtown area, taking the shortcut via the cliffs again, but instead of heading straight through the intersection toward Main Street, I found myself turning onto the high road. Straight for the Landsedge Cliffs.
I hadn’t been up there since the incident, but I’d spent a good portion of my childhood running the woods in the area on pack nights. Now I pulled into the small parking lot at the peak and recognized everything like the last fifteen years had never happened. It all looked the same, with one small addition. My headlights illuminated a fence along the precipice, and a few signs warning about the instability of the cliff face. Probably erected as a result of what happened to David Meyers. Whatever that was.
I played with the edges of my phone case and wished I had asked Cal for his number. I wanted to tell him I’d organized protection for his mother. But even more, I wanted to ask him… What, if he knew, really happened to his dad? I scowled at myself. Yeah, great way to reconnect, Liv. Good thinking.
Apparently, I’d used up my single good idea for the day.
The rain eased up even more and I found myself throwing open my door. Gravel crunched under my running shoes. I found myself wishing I’d dressed a little better than leggings and a cute sweater to drive back to my mom’s place. It was hardly appropriate for a night jaunt to the edge of a cliff, but I was pulled toward the fence—Like I said, I’d used up my single good idea. Near enough to the precipice, I made out the white foam of waves crashing against the craggy rocks at the base. Even in the cloud-covered moonlight, it was clear how violent it was down there.
There was no way David Meyers could have survived the fall. And if he had, the waves would have smashed him against the cliffs, dragged him under. Wolves could heal much better than men, but no amount of healing could put air back in your lungs or rescue a snapped spine as you were spun in the surf like a rinse cycle in a washing machine.
Tightness plummeted in my gut, and a stray thought snagged at the edge of my mind… I hadn’t actually seen him fall though, had I?
I took a sharp breath of salty air and closed my eyes. Something awful was coming. It reared up in my belly and slithered through my memory, gathering momentum. I braced myself. I thought I was about to be sick… And then I remembered.
I’d run through the woods looking for my father, but when I saw Dad and David—there and then suddenly gone—instinct kicked in and I’d shifted. Wildly. Violently. I’d bolted toward home and only shifted back into my human form at the very edge of the woods. I’d kept running. Confused, scared, and knowing I’d seen something I shouldn’t have, I’d run to Cal for comfort.
When that didn’t go how I expected, I’d run home. It didn’t matter that my mother had grounded me, assuming that I had just messed around instead of finding my dad. I was happy to have a reason to hide in my room. When my dad came to wake me up for school the next morning, I’d played sick, hidden under my covers and groaned, but he’d let himself in and pulled aside the blinds without a word. My heart leapt into my throat when I looked out toward the back porch and saw what he’d brought home.
My shoes. The tee-shirt I’d shredded when I’d shifted suddenly.
“You look like you aren’t feeling well. Didn’t sleep well.” His voice was a commanding rumble. He spoke with alpha authority, not just a fatherly tone. I saw nothing, I thought, the mantra I’d repeated to myself until I’d fallen asleep. This sort of thing doesn’t happen to me. Nothing happened. I had a bad night. I didn’t sleep well.
My wolf instinctively submitted, and I sighed in frustration but nodded in agreement. I was too tired to argue. “Dinner must not have agreed with you,” he’d said, touching my forehead. I’d flinched, but he’d only hummed and nodded. “I’ll call the school. You go back to sleep.”
I did as my father said. I went back to sleep, curled up with the blanket over my head. When I woke up, it was like nothing had happened. Nothing at all.
A shock of wind brought me back into the present at the top of the cliff. Rain and specks of ocean mist wet my face and would have made me shiver if I weren’t already shaking.
My dad had been there, there was no denying it—he’d brought my clothing back. There was more to what I’d seen, and certainly more than I’d been told. The full story… My wolf stirred. I knew the memories agitated me. I turned on my heel and hurried back toward the parking lot.
Back in the car, I blasted the heat and headed back down the road, straight for Bridgehaven General. I might not have had the full story, but I had some of it and a good idea of who might have even more. Cal had always been observant, his wolf uncannily intuitive. He’d been inside when Dad had come to talk to Christine after the incident. I’d never asked him what he knew about the night his dad disappeared. I’d never even given him my condolences.
Better late than never.
I bit down the remorse and guilt and headed for the only place he could be. By his ma’s side.
“Could you direct me to Christine Meyers’ room, please?” I asked a young brunette behind the nurse’s station when I finally got there.
Her smile faded and she looked me over. “You’re the girlfriend?”
The girlfriend? There was a girlfriend? “Erm… No.” I hoped it wasn’t a dealbreaker and upped my perkiness. “Just a family friend! I know it’s late, but I was hoping I could find her son here?”
“Right…” She shook her head and tsked. “Take the elevator there up to level three, last room at the end of the corridor. Can’t miss it.”
She was already walking away before I could thank her.
With a bouquet from the gift shop—too many daisies, but I’d rather show up with an ugly arrangement than empty-handed—I followed the nurse’s directions to Christine’s room at the far end of the ward. The hospital was eerily quiet, every beep and buzz sounding more pronounced. I actually found it kind of peaceful. Maybe I could be a good nurse. Even a doctor, if I put in the effort… I frowned. How much extra school did you have to go to for a medical profession?
My phone said it was almost three in the morning, and I was surprised to find the visitor’s chair in Christine’s room empty. Huh. I’d expected Cal to be by his mother’s side throughout the night, but maybe he was wise enough to know getting decent rest was the best thing he could do for her. I hoped that’s what he was doing, anyways.
I winced when I saw Christine. She was sleeping, but I wasn’t sure I would have noticed if her eyes were open with how swollen they were. I couldn’t imagine seeing my mother like that. My heart hurt for her, and for Cal. He wasn’t kidding—the beating she’d taken made it clear the attacker wasn’t just sending her a warning. He’d wanted to finish her off.
Her blanket had fallen to the side and I set the flowers down to adjust it. Closer, I saw how much older she looked than how I remembered her. But of course she did. It had been fifteen years. And given the grief she’d gone through, she didn’t have nearly as many wrinkles as she could have.
She’d always been sugar-sweet to me. Let Cal and I dirty up her kitchen with our “potions” and failed attempts at baking. Once, we thought we could make our own fancy brand of soap…using dish soap and some cheap perfume. She bought me my first bike, a matching BMX to Cal’s, and let me hide it at her house so my mom wouldn’t know I was riding a boy’s bike.
I inhaled sharply and closed my eyes as old grief swelled to the surface. She was who I’d gone to when I’d had my first period—I was an early bloomer, and my mom hadn’t been forthcoming with information. The school didn’t provide any sort of sexual education until middle school…or if they offered it earlier, my parents had opted out. Somehow, asking Mrs. Meyers seemed less horrifying than asking my own mother—That probably said a lot about our relationship. Christine filled in the blanks, got me set up with everything I needed, and then she’d made it a happy event—baked cookies, wouldn’t stop hugging me, and said she was so proud of the woman I was becoming. Cal had asked why she was spoiling me, but Christine just winked at me and said I deserved special attention every once in a while. Maybe even every month.
“Livy.” Her gravelly voice made my eyes fly open as she took my hand at her bedside.
“Christine! Hi.” I blinked the tears out of my eyes and took a seat beside her. “How are you feeling?”
“Better now that you’re here, darlin’.” She spoke slowly, like every word was an effort, and dragged her thumb over my knuckles. “Oh, my. You’re looking more beautiful than ever.”
I laughed between a short sob and shook my head. “You’re too sweet.” How could she be this nice to me? I don’t know if I’d have the grace to be this nice to me, were our positions reversed.
She managed a grin, though her lips twitched with pain, and we sat in silence.
“I’m sorry this is the first time I’ve come to see you since…” My words ran out and I stared down at our hands.
She closed her eyes and sighed, then squeezed my hand tighter. “I don’t hold anything against you, Livy. You ought to know that.”
“Well, I wouldn’t blame you if you did,” I mumbled, and gently pushed her hair back from her face. I blamed me. It would be well within her rights to do the same.
Her eyes flashed brightly, even through the swelling. “Tell me, you’re not just here to see me though, are you?”
I couldn’t suppress a sheepish smile and she hummed in knowing acknowledgment.
“Well, if this brings you two back together,”—she stopped to take a strained breath—“then I might just consider this all worth it.”
I laughed awkwardly as tingles skittered through my belly at the thought, followed by a punch of grief. As if we could go back to the way things were. Ever.
“Is he around?” I asked quietly. Let her be hopeful for now. I didn’t have it in me to explain.
“Somewhere… He went to talk to a friend.” She let out a long, pained breath and seemed to sink deeper into the pillow.
I rubbed her shoulder gently as she closed her eyes and sighed.
“It’s okay,” I whispered as she fell back into sleep. “I’ll go find him.”
I stayed for a few moments longer to make sure she was settled, then slipped back out into the corridor. As soon as the bright fluorescent lights hit me, I was struck with a prickling sensation on the back of my neck. Someone was watching me. Maybe even watching the whole time I was in with Christine.
I expected to see Cal when I spun around, but no one was there. Shaking off the heebie-jeebies, I reconsidered my plan to dip into medicine. Hospitals seemed ripe for ghosts and bad vibes. But as I made my way down the corridor, I caught a glimpse of someone in dark jeans and a black hoodie hurrying around a corner and out of view. They seemed real enough, and the same prickles burst across my skin. Something wasn’t right, and I was pretty damn sure it wasn’t a haunting.
Cal was nowhere to be found, and I was too spooked to stay longer. I waved to the brunette nurse who pointedly ignored me, and hustled to my car. Once inside, I locked the doors and tapped out a quick text to my brother. Hopefully, the weirdo I’d just seen was one of his enforcers. It wouldn’t be the first time Jason tried to spook me. Text sent, I shoved my phone back in my purse and hurried home with grief, regret, and hope warring in my heart.
