Lost and Found Family by Jennifer Ryan

Luke found Sarah in the barn ten minutes later, singing and brushing down Ace. He stuck to the shadows, watching and listening to her beautiful voice. He didn’t need Jerry to tell him she was special. He saw it and wanted to know more about her.

She probably wouldn’t believe that since he’d been fighting himself and the pull drawing him to her. He couldn’t keep denying his attraction, or that acting on it meant opening himself up like he hadn’t done in a long time.

After she and the boys left the ranch the other day, he’d let anger, instead of his true feelings, reign because all the life they breathed into this place that day left with them, leaving him lonely once again.

Walking into an empty house each night and rising in his lonely bed every morning had been wearing on him longer than he cared to admit.

On the ranch, in his law practice, it was easy for him to see the fruits of his labor, yet he couldn’t seem to find that kind of success and satisfaction in his personal life.

Perhaps the beauty standing before him could change that.

Sarah stretched her back and favored her hurt leg. Carrying those boys around was taking a toll on her. She needed to take better care of herself before she made herself ill.

What kept her up at night?

He couldn’t help but wish it were him.

He was tired of fighting it.

And Sarah deserved better from him than the unwarranted antagonism he’d given her. So he relaxed and went with a little levity, hoping to show her he wasn’t rude by nature, but a good guy. Someone she could open up to and confide in, because he really wanted to know everything about her.

“You plan on standing around my barn in your underwear all day?” The amusement in his voice got him a hint of a smile from her.

She gave him barely a glance before turning back to Ace. “Now, Luke, we both know I’m not wearing underwear.”

Fire flashed through his system. Sultry, erotic images filled his mind. His hands itched to reach out and touch her. He could practically see her dusky nipples through the skin-tight tank. Although the flannel boxers weren’t exactly lingerie, they drove him crazy. Her long slender legs could stop traffic. And the fact that her toenails were grape-juice purple made him smile. Her tousled hair framed cheeks flushed from her early morning ride, and the muscles in her arms went taut as she worked the brush over Ace.

He saw the strength, not only in her body, but in her.

“You have an amazing voice.”

“Thanks.”

He wanted to keep her talking and erase what he thought he knew about her with something real. “Did you sing at school or church when you were a kid?”

“No.”

He waited, hoping she’d go on.

She met his steady gaze, made some silent decision, and went back to brushing Ace. Finally she confided, “When I was young, I lived on my uncle’s ranch. Not a ranch as nice as yours, but a run-down place. The barn was falling apart, the house and outbuildings were all dilapidated, but the horses were well tended. My uncle raised them and sold them to keep the ranch, but he never seemed to profit. He spent his life trying to hold on.”

He couldn’t believe she’d open up about the one thing he really wanted to know about without him prompting her.

She sighed. “It made him mean, that constant battle to keep the bank from taking everything.” She kissed Ace on the nose and stared into his eyes. “Anyway, one of the ranch hands had a radio he brought to work each day. I’d listen to the songs and sing along. It was the only form of entertainment I had. I loved music.” Wistfulness filled her voice. She went quiet for a moment. “When he got fired, I missed the music, but I had a knack for remembering the songs, so I would sing while I worked. It gave me comfort. The horses never seemed to mind if I got a lyric wrong or couldn’t hit a note.” She gave Luke a half smile over her shoulder.

“Why’d the guy get fired?”

“For bringing the radio and making me happy.” The matter-of-fact way she said it didn’t hide the anger and resentment and remorse. “Like I said, my uncle was a mean man.”

Luke wanted to ask how mean. He wanted to know if he’d hurt Sarah.

The answer was clear in the way she spoke.

“When he found out the guy liked my singing and I liked the music, he got rid of both. He said I was distracting his men. I needed to concentrate on my job, and not some fanciful pastime. Since I’d cost him a worker, too, I had to do my job and his.”

“How old were you?”

Her hand stopped brushing Ace and her eyes stared back into the past. “Thirteen. There was never any more music on the ranch. I only sang when I was alone at night in the barn with the horses.”

“Why were you in the barn at night?” He hazarded a guess, but he wanted to hear her say it.

“I slept in a small room on the floor in the back of the barn.” Not in the warm house, in her own room, in a soft bed.

His throat went tight with sadness. “Did you go to school?”

“Why do you care?”

Because it kills me to think of you living in a crap barn, cold and lonely with no music.Those words wouldn’t come out of his mouth. “Because I want to know who you really are.”

Why did you burn the place down?

She stared at him. “I’m not who Margaret described to you.”

“It appears you’re not.”

She pressed her lips together, then answered. “My first three foster families sent me to school, but when I was eight, my uncle showed up and took me to the ranch. He needed me to take care of the horses. I didn’t go back to a real school again until I was eighteen. Senior year at MIT, I met Sean.”

“Where were your parents?”

“My mother drank herself to death when I was four. My father didn’t know I existed until I was sixteen.”

Wow!“That must have been really hard.”

She nodded. “It was.” The way she said it meant he hadn’t even scratched the surface of how she felt about her tragic childhood.

“Did you like living on the ranch?”

“I liked the horses. They were all I had growing up.” Sadness filled those words. Not anger or rage.

It didn’t add up to her setting fire to the ranch.

She set the brush on the nearby workbench. “I’ve got to get back before the kids wake up. Sorry I caused you so much trouble this morning.”

He stepped in front of her before she retreated. “Why did you burn the ranch to the ground?” He had to ask. She’d had a rotten childhood, but that didn’t justify what she did.

She slowly looked up and right into his eyes. “Didn’t Margaret tell you why I did it? Of course, I never even told Sean why, so I can only imagine the explanation she gave you, besides her general opinion of me, which is that I’m evil and therefore I do evil things. Right? I burned down the ranch. I killed her son. I took his business. I keep her grandchildren from her. Everything I do is just for spite and my own selfishness.”

So, she’d never told Sean why she’d done it. It surprised him, and made him want to get the answer all the more.

“It wasn’t some whim. You had a reason. And don’t tell me it was because your uncle sold the horses like the police report says. That’s bullshit.”

Her head tilted and her eyes filled with anger. “You got my sealed records?”

Shit.“Yes.” What else could he say?

“Let me guess, so you can use it against me in court to take my kids from me. You want to make my whole life about something I did when I was just a hopeless kid.”

No, he didn’t. He wanted to know the truth. “Why did you do it? What would make you do something so drastic?” He demanded the answer with the same urgency of his questions.

“Because I was in a rage!” Her whole body vibrated with anger and resentment that he’d insist on an answer and that he’d violated her privacy based on an unsubstantiated claim from Margaret. “I couldn’t take one more thing being snatched away from me.”

“What did your uncle take from you?”

“The only good thing I had left.”

“The horses,” he guessed, sadness tightening his gut and clenching his heart, because if that’s all she’d had in her life without school, friends, or a family who loved her, then yes, she’d been hopeless.

The pain in her eyes ran deep. “He stood in front of the barn talking to a wealthy rancher about selling the last of the horses. My uncle had either drunk or gambled away the last of the money. He needed the quick cash the ten horses provided. They didn’t know I was listening from inside one of the stalls, but I heard everything they said.” She fought back tears. “I couldn’t lose them.” She sucked in a breath to wash away the desperation he saw in her eyes and heard in her voice. The anger came raging back. “Turns out the guy wanted to buy more than the horses, and my uncle was only too happy to take the extra five hundred to get rid of the smart-ass mouth he couldn’t afford to feed. Not that he did a good job of that to begin with.”

Aghast and overwhelmingly furious, he blurted out, “Your uncle tried to sell you for five hundred dollars?” Luke seethed. Everything inside him screamed to protect her. From what? It was done, and he was left helpless. Not a good feeling. He ran both hands through his hair and let them drop to his sides, balled into tight fists.

Sarah let out a half-hearted laugh. “No, Luke. Not tried. He did sell me.” She shrugged, but it didn’t erase any of the turmoil in her eyes. “The guy loaded up the horses he got on the cheap and the girl he couldn’t wait to get home into the trailer. Locked me in so I couldn’t run.”

“What happened?” He didn’t really want to know.

“I picked the lock on the room the guy put me in at his place and hitchhiked back to the ranch. And for that final act of cruelty my uncle inflicted on me, I burned his ranch to the ground. I stood in the middle of the front yard and watched the barn and the house go up in flames.

“My uncle was, of course, down at the bar. But when he got home, he had exactly what I had. Nothing.”

She sucked in a breath; the retelling had taken a toll on her emotionally, and he hated seeing the pain written all over her face. “I got to see his face before the police hauled me away. That was the most satisfying moment of my life. Three years later when he died of a heart attack, I was the only living relative, so the land came to me. He actually had a life insurance policy and I was able to use the money I received to pay off the debt. I still own it,” she said, matter-of-fact. “It’s actually not far from here.”

She shrugged again and her eyes narrowed. “So now you know. I’m a spiteful bitch. I take everything the men in my life have. I took my uncle’s ranch and I took Sean’s company. Feel better having all those stories about me confirmed?”

He didn’t believe that one damn bit.

And something else disturbed him even more. “How long were you with the man who bought you?” Just saying those unbelievable words filled him with fury.

“A couple of days.”

Days! The thoughts that ran through his head made him sick. “Did he hurt you?”

The far-off look that came over her told him yes—deeply.

“He didn’t rape me. But there are lots of ways to hurt someone. Don’t ask, because I’m not going there with you.”

He didn’t really want to know. He wished he could erase it from her mind, heart, and life.

His heart ached and his fury flared. He wanted to find the guy and beat him half to death just so he’d know how it felt to be in that much pain.

Just like the pain vibrating around her, consuming the joy he’d seen in her.

“There’s nothing about any of that in the police report.”

She gave him a very insincere smile. “You can’t be that naive. The cops had their criminal in custody.” She used that word to remind him he’d called her that not even a half hour ago. “My uncle denied it ever happened, the guy who bought the horses denied it happened, and I was the one who burned down the ranch. I didn’t have any proof. My word against theirs, and I was just a dumb kid. If you were a cop, who would you believe?”

Her. Because she didn’t seem to have a problem admitting what she’d done. “So what happened? Did you go to juvenile detention? Jail?”

“I spent several days behind bars while I waited for the system to do its thing without any concern for me. Then someone unexpected showed up. He saved me from the fate I deserved.”

Luke represented people who deserved what they got, but Sarah wasn’t anything like them. Yes, she’d done something wrong, but the system had failed her for so long she didn’t believe anyone would ever help her. Even the cops didn’t believe her story. They only cared that they’d gotten her for the arson. “Who saved you? Your father?”

“I’ve answered your questions. You either believe what my uncle did, or you don’t. No one else did, so I don’t expect any better from you.”

He wished she did, because he didn’t want her to see him as another person against her. “I do believe you.”

“I don’t care.”

“Yes, you do, or you wouldn’t have told me something you never even told your husband.” That had to mean something.

It meant something to him.

She gave nothing away. “You and Sean used to be friends, so I guess that’s why you felt you needed to dig up those records.”

“I knew Sean from grade school to high school. After that, life had us going our separate ways. College and the family business for me. Sean went to college, met and married you, and started a family and his own business.”

“And you think he did that on his own?”

“You tell me.”

She sighed. “That’s just another long story.”

He’d let it go for now. “Do you miss him?” He really wanted to know if she still loved Sean.

“I wish the boys had the father they deserve.” She dropped that loaded statement and left it hanging. “If you’ll excuse me, I need to make breakfast for my boys and I have a full schedule today.” She started backing away. “Thanks for letting me ride Ace.”

“I didn’t. You took him. Again.”

That got him a reluctant smile.

“You have some really nice horses, but . . . Why haven’t you found a mare that compares to Ace?”

“I tried to, but the owner refused to sell to me because I didn’t meet their experience requirements.”

“You should contact Blaze Ranch. It’s not far from here, and they have outstanding horses.”

“That’s who I tried to buy from. How do you know about Blaze Ranch?”

“I know the owner. She just wants to make sure the horses go to a good home where they’ll be treated well. If she doesn’t know the ranch, she doesn’t sell.”

“I can’t fault her for being careful about her horses. There are some pretty disreputable places, and people aren’t always nice to their animals.”

“We agree on that.” She took another couple steps away, though he felt like he’d gained some ground in getting her to open up and like him after his bad behavior.

“You can stop digging in my past. There’s nothing else to find. But I suppose you wouldn’t take my word for it.”

He already knew there was nothing else to find. His investigator would have uncovered it. “I’d rather just spend more time with you and get to know you better the normal way.” He wanted her to open up to him.

“You should have just talked to me instead of investigating me.”

He knew that, but because Margaret had asked him, he’d decided to help a friend instead of going with his gut and believing that if he asked Sarah she’d give him a straight answer.

And while she wasn’t hiding anything else in her past, he wondered about her cryptic statements about Sean.

“Goodbye, sweet boy.” She wasn’t talking to him and gave Ace a pat goodbye. She walked down the aisle toward the barn doors. Barefoot, wearing her pajamas, and limping. He shook his head at her boldness, and in this case, overconfidence.

“How do you plan to get back to Margaret’s?”

“Same way I got here. Walk,” she said over her shoulder.

He shook his head again and pulled his keys from his pocket. “Get in the truck, Sarah.”

“I don’t want to put you out,” she called back to him.

“Get in the damn truck.” Amusement mixed with his exasperation made her stop and turn back.

She huffed out her own frustration, but with a hint of her elusive smile tugging at her lips. “Fine.”

They climbed into the front seat. He was wholly aware of how small the space felt and how close she was to him. He drove her back to Margaret’s in silence, trying to reconcile her past, her marriage to Sean, with the woman she was today. Sarah had certainly gotten herself far away from growing up a poor foster child. She really did rise from poverty and abuse to become an MIT graduate and a business owner.

Not to mention the mother of two great boys. Ah, those boys. He’d had such a great time teaching them to ride. So full of life, they brought back so many memories of him and his brother and summers on the ranch.

“Bring the boys back to the ranch. I’d love to hang out and take them riding again.”

She eyed him uncertainly, and he didn’t blame her after the way he’d acted.

“I’d like to prove to you that I’m not the ass I’ve acted like since we met.”

“Are you sure you can manage that?” she teased.

“Yes. And I promised the boys I’d show them around the ranch. I hate breaking a promise.”

That seemed to soften her a bit.

He tried to tempt her more. “Jack wants to pick corn out of the garden. You could bring them by this afternoon.”

She gave him one of those crooked smiles he was getting used to seeing hesitantly tilt her tempting lips. “You make me laugh, Luke. Some woman must have really done a number on you. You don’t even realize that you just invited my boys over and as an afterthought remembered I come with them.” She held up her hand to stop him from saying anything. “I’ll bring the boys, because they spent all day yesterday begging me to go back and see the horses. I’ll even try to stay out of your way while you play with them. I have several meetings scheduled this morning, but once I’m done, I’ll bring them over.”

She reached for the door handle to exit the truck, but he touched her shoulder to stop her. She turned back, he leaned in, and he found himself inches from her beautiful face.

He didn’t mean to kiss her. Need overtook reason and the pull between them drew them together until his mouth landed on her warm lips. The intimacy of the simple kiss stunned him.

All but one thought escaped his mind. Hold on.

He hooked his arm around her middle and pulled her into his chest. She felt so good pressed up against him. Her hands slipped up around his neck and she buried them in his hair. When she opened her mouth to him, he took her into the fire.

Pressed against him, her soft breasts rubbed against his chest each time he moved and he slanted his mouth over hers to take the kiss deeper. She tasted sweeter than he imagined, her skin warmer and softer than in his dreams.

She gave everything over to the kiss. When his tongue smoothed over hers again and again, she grabbed fistfuls of his hair to hold him to her and her tongue met his with equal strokes.

Raw need and the rightness of her in his arms made him want to hold on to this moment, her, forever. A low growl escaped from deep in his throat.

She jolted and planted both hands on his chest and pushed back. “I thought you hated me.” The dazed look in her eyes satisfied him.

“Not even a little bit.” In fact, she might be everything he’d been missing in his life. And that realization hit him square in the chest and he stared into her eyes, wonder running through him as he traced his fingertips along the side of her beautiful face.

She touched her fingers to her kiss-swollen lips. “Don’t do that again.”

He wanted to do it, and a hell of a lot more, a million more times.

She tried to get out of the truck, but he touched her shoulder to get her to turn back again.

“Why not? You liked it. You kissed me back.”

“I don’t get involved with anyone. It’s not fair to the boys to have someone else come into their lives only to leave again.”

That surprised him. “Are you saying you haven’t been with a man since Sean died?”

“You’re the first man to kiss me in almost five years.” With that bombshell sitting between them she scooted out of the truck and casually walked up the porch steps.

Just as she closed the front door behind her, it hit him what she had just confessed.

Sean died two years ago. Nick was four. Which meant she hadn’t been intimate with her own husband since before she gave birth to Nick.

She’d admitted that something had been seriously wrong between Sean and her long before his sudden death. That realization came with a great many questions.

The one he wished he knew the answer to the most . . . Did Sarah simply use Sean to elevate her life from poor foster kid to rich wife?

He didn’t want to believe it, which made him wonder what really happened between her and Sean.