Lost and Found Family by Jennifer Ryan

Luke spent every waking moment of the last week and a half since he’d seen Sarah sweating out his frustration about the state of his life and analyzing every interaction he’d had with her.

He’d spent a good portion of every day since he met her wanting her and not knowing how to go about getting her. New for him. While he hadn’t laid on the charm—at all—he knew that would only work to a point.

Sarah wanted real, because she was herself around everyone. She didn’t put on a show or pretend to be anything other than herself.

Refreshing and sexy as hell in his book.

She certainly didn’t put up with his BS.

And he liked that she called him out on it instead of just going along to keep him happy.

He’d just scratched the surface with her and he wanted to get to know her better, because the more he learned, the farther away she got from being the woman Margaret described and became more of the woman he wanted but didn’t think existed for him.

Everything in him said she was the one he wanted.

The kiss they shared started a fire in him.

Every interaction they shared held the promise of something great building between them, but then he’d ask about her past, Sean, and ruin it.

It wasn’t just that he’d been investigating her. The two times she and the kids came to the ranch, he hadn’t done what he promised and showed them around or picked vegetables in the garden. Simple things.

He’d blown it with Sarah and the boys.

And that’s why Sarah didn’t date. Because she didn’t want some guy making promises to her kids and not keeping them. She didn’t want to let the boys get close to someone, only to have them disappointed when that person left because they weren’t committed.

He cussed himself out for disappointing the boys and called himself ten kinds of stupid for giving Sarah a reason to believe he wasn’t the honest, reliable guy she and the boys deserved.

As he had that epiphany, Jerry found him in the stables and saw everything written all over his face. Luke could still hear the laughter in his voice from this morning.

“So, you finally figured it out. You let her get away. She didn’t go far. She’s here singing to Ace every morning at the crack of dawn. She thinks she’s alone most of the time. I stay out of her way and let her enjoy the horses. She looks terrible. Can’t be getting more than two, three hours sleep a night. Makes a person wonder what’s so important that she has to stay up all night to get it done.” After that disturbing news, he added something Luke desperately hoped was true: “Maybe she’s missing you as much as you’re missing her.”

Hope that he could make things right and spend more time with her sent him after her because he was getting nowhere staying away from her.

He stood in Margaret’s backyard with a present in his hands, looking up at the second-story veranda and Sarah working on her computer. Classic rock rang out from her phone. Led Zeppelin. Nice.

Lost in total concentration staring at the computer screen and typing a mile a minute, she didn’t notice him. He couldn’t help staring at her beautiful face.

He wasn’t used to missing anyone. He always went after what he wanted. But he’d stalled out with Sarah because he’d never had to work this hard to get a woman’s attention. But he thought Sarah was special and he wanted her and he meant to show her how much.

Completely engrossed in what she was doing, he didn’t think she noticed him walking up the back steps and standing a few feet behind her, watching her work. In addition to the laptop on the table in front of her, two more sat at her bare feet on the floor. Just inside the French doors, he spotted one on the bed and two on the dresser. All the computers looked like they were running something. He had no idea what, but they were all busy flashing this and that on the screens. Files and papers sat neatly organized on the table. She glanced at some of the papers as she typed.

Sarah wasn’t typing a letter or proposal of any kind, but some kind of strange code language. Most of the words were recognizable, but there were other abbreviations and symbols that didn’t make any sense. She typed so fast, he couldn’t believe she actually knew what all the strange characters, words, and symbols meant. Amazing.

And he wanted to know more. About her job. About her.

He wanted more of the truth to erase who he’d been told she was, because he really liked the glimpses she gave him of the woman who intrigued him like no one had in a long time.

*  *  *

“Are you just going to stand there all day staring at me, or are you going to say hello?”

After their last encounter and the days that had passed, it surprised her he’d come at all.

Stupidly, she’d spent the last week missing him.

That was the plain truth.

She thought about their kiss and couldn’t help but want to feel his arms around her again.

But here she sat, typing on her computer, trying not to let him see just how much his mere presence affected her.

“Hello.” His deep voice held a trace of uncertainty about his welcome. “Are you really busy?”

She hit Save on the computer and turned to face him with a raised eyebrow before she surveyed the six laptops surrounding her. All different projects she’d been working on for months. She’d only brought three with her, but some problems had come up and Abby had sent her another computer by overnight delivery almost every other day for the past week.

Was she busy? Always. But she tried to cut the tension and teased, “No, not really.”

God, he looked great. Black boots, snug worn jeans, a black T-shirt stretched across his broad chest, the sleeves straining over the muscles in his arms, and today he wore a black cowboy hat. He looked dangerous, despite his open and warm expression, though some concern shown in his eyes as he watched her.

“Are you headed to a birthday party or something?” She pointed to the present Luke held, wondering why he hadn’t left it in his truck.

“This is for you.” He held the package out to her, but she hesitated to take it. He tilted his head and studied her. “You look like no one’s ever given you a gift.”

Gifts had been few and far between in her life as an unwanted child. “I . . . um . . . Why did you get me a present?”

“I owe you two thank-you’s and three ‘I’m sorry’s.’” His earnest eyes turned stormy with uncertainty, because she still didn’t take the present.

He set the gift in her lap and dropped his hat on the table.

She pressed her hands on top of the box, thrilled by the kind gesture, but she didn’t want him to think he owed her anything. Or that she expected him to buy her things.

“Why don’t you just say ‘thank you’ and ‘I’m sorry’? You didn’t have to buy me anything.”

“I wanted to.” He hooked his thumbs in his front pockets and shifted from one foot to the other, then let out a big sigh, sat beside her at the table, and leaned in close, setting off a swarm of butterflies in her belly. “Thank you for taking care of Ace. I’m sorry I yelled at you when you took off on him the first day. I’m sorry I was angry and called you a criminal when I found you sleeping in my field. I completely overreacted, but you scared me half to death.” A flash of that fear crossed his eyes even now. “I think you took ten years off my life when I saw you lying in that circle of horses.” He took a breath. “Thank you for trusting me enough to tell me the truth about what happened with your uncle. I want you to know it meant a lot to me that you’d tell me something you haven’t shared with anyone else.

“Finally, I am so sorry that I ever agreed to investigate your past for Margaret or had any part in threatening to take the boys from you and forcing a visitation.” The sincerity in the apology touched her.

“Also, you should know, I know about Sean and the accident, everything, and I understand now why you want to put the past behind you and move on.” He held her gaze.

She guessed at what he’d found out about the car accident, but wondered if he really knew “everything” that came after it.

“And will you share the information you uncovered with Margaret?”

He didn’t answer that, but asked, “Did you come here to also try to mend the relationship so the boys can spend more time with family?”

Luke understood her better than she’d thought.

“Yes.”

“Then I think she should hear about the Sean you were married to from you.” Meaning Luke didn’t recognize the man Sean had turned into either.

“Margaret isn’t ready to listen to anything I have to say about Sean.”

“When she is, I know you’ll deliver the news gently because you’re not out to hurt her.”

“I never was.”

“I know. Time’s a bitch. It allowed her anger to build into a wall between you, you to move on, and me to use work and the ranch to get stuck trying to figure out a way to fix things between us when all I really needed to do was get over the fear that you’d refuse to see me and hear me out and come and talk to you. Because deep down, I knew you’d give me a chance, because that’s who you are.”

“I let work get in the way of things I should be doing sometimes, too.” She had to apologize to her boys a lot lately for working too much and not spending time with them.

“Don’t let me off the hook so easily. I stuck my nose in your business when I should have just spoken to you.”

“I’m sure you don’t take your client’s word for everything.” She understood he needed an unbiased and straightforward accounting of what happened. Still, she didn’t have to like why he’d done it.

He’d only done it because he believed what Margaret told him. Now he knew the truth and she hoped this was the end of it.

“I also made you and the boys a promise and I didn’t keep it. It won’t happen again.”

She believed he really meant it. “You’ve thanked me and apologized.” She pushed the present in front of him. “You don’t owe me anything else.”

He pushed it back. “Open it, Sarah. I want you to have it.” He put his hand over hers on the package. “Please. I picked it especially for you.”

She took the present into her lap and unwrapped the pretty, delicate paper. White roses over a golden background with a gold ribbon tied around to match. She carefully folded the pretty paper and placed it on the table. She lifted the box cover, pushed the tissue aside, and revealed the gorgeous carved wooden box.

Tears filled her eyes.

She pulled the gift out and admired the details. Roses, lots and lots of carved roses. A silver plaque engraved with her name in a very feminine script adorned the lid. With trembling fingers, she lifted the lid and found the inside lined with deep red velvet, and the lullaby she had sung to Ace on the first day she’d gone to the ranch played in soft tinkling notes.

Tears trailed down her cheeks. No one had ever given her something so lovely and personal. Ever.

Luke took her hand and kissed her palm.

“Don’t cry, Sarah. It was meant to make you happy. I know you like music and this song especially. You sang it so beautifully to Ace. I thought you’d like it.”

She squeezed his hand. “I love it. It’s the nicest, most thoughtful gift I’ve ever received. Thank you.”

“You’re welcome. I’m sure Sean bought you some really nice things, but this reminded me of you. Sometimes when I go to sleep at night I think I hear you singing. Your voice haunts my dreams.”

“You probably do hear me. I’ve been sneaking into your stables at night. Well, the early morning.”

“Jerry told me. Why don’t you ever sleep? You look completely exhausted. I’m worried about you.” Concern and caring filled his eyes and voice.

She hadn’t been taking very good care of herself. She’d gotten buried in work and often forgot to eat.

The Knox Project was coming down to the wire, and now that Abby had sent her three more problems to fix that stumped her team of programmers, she just couldn’t find the time to do everything that needed to be done. Losing ground on all fronts, her anxiety jacked up high, she couldn’t sleep.

The boys were begging for more attention, Margaret’s hostility grew the more she worked, and she spent hours on the phone attending meetings as one of the faces of the company.

She had a lot of people depending on her, and sometimes it all became too much.

Luke looked like he’d had a rough couple of weeks, too. Maybe they both needed some quiet time.

Before she gave Luke an answer, her cell phone rang. She sighed deeply when she glanced at the caller ID. “It’s my office. I’ve been waiting for this call. Only take a minute, and then we’ll talk.”

“Okay, but I want an answer. I’m about ready to slip a sleeping pill into your iced tea.”

She appreciated the sentiment but rolled her eyes and answered the phone.

“Hi, Marcel, did you get it?” She picked up one of the laptops at her feet and began typing to bring up the files she had just sent to the office.

Luke kept watching her.

Marcel jumped right in. “I got it. This is the best encryption code I’ve ever seen.”

“If it works, it will be the most secure system ever created. Now, use your considerable talents to try to break my encryption and find the back door. If you find it, I’ll give you a twenty-five-thousand-dollar bonus. If you break the encryption, you can have my job.”

“I don’t want your job. I have a life.”

“I have a life.” She scoffed. “It’s not a very fun one,” she admitted, earning an affirmative nod from Luke. “Get to work. We only have a couple weeks left to finish this. Oh, I’m sending back two of the laptops tomorrow. I fixed the problems with the Petticoat Project and updated the North Pole Project. Contact the customers and let them know they’ll be there in a couple of days, then contact David and tell him once he gets the laptops to go to the customer sites for the install. He can take as many people as he thinks is necessary to complete the jobs. Let’s see, did I miss anything?”

“How’s the new game coming?” Marcel’s excitement revealed his anticipation. “Will it be finished for the holiday release?”

“You aren’t going to believe it. I came up with another scene and added it last night. I sent it to the team to test. Find out if they like it. I’d like an unbiased opinion. I’m going to give it to Tyler at the benefit at the end of the month.”

“Sounds good.” Marcel hesitated, then added, “We can’t wait for you to get back. The phones are ringing off the hook with customers requesting bids.”

“Soon. How many of the calls are worthy of a proposal from us?”

“You’ll have to ask Abby. I’ll get started on the Knox Project and call you when I’m done.”

“Sounds good. Remember, find the back door and win the prize.” She couldn’t help the smile he couldn’t see, but she hoped he heard it in her voice.

“For that kind of money, I’ll find it.” Marcel’s cocky tone only made her smile more. “Once I do, I’ll document everything.”

She hung up and fully focused on Luke’s warm hand still holding hers. It felt good, right, so she linked her fingers with his. “Sorry. Working long-distance has been . . . trying. My staff gets antsy when they can’t actually see me coding. They constantly wonder how much progress I’ve made. There’s always a deadline looming.”

“I had no idea you’re so involved in doing the actual work. I assumed you just oversaw management—but you’re hands-on in a way most CEOs are not. You work your ass off for your staff and clients.”

She didn’t know what to say. It was all true. So she simply shrugged it off.

One side of Luke’s mouth drew back in a half frown. “Can he break your encryption?”

“No,” she said emphatically, then backed off even if she did believe it. “At least, he better not. He’s the best hacker there is. I hired him after the FBI arrested him for hacking into a very secure bank, emptying out several accounts, and returning the money to the many seniors an unscrupulous crook swindled out of their life savings, including his grandparents.”

“A modern-day Robin Hood.”

“Yeah, well, it was still a crime and the FBI gave him an ultimatum to either go to jail or work for them. He does the work they want, but prefers working for me.”

“So, I guess you don’t have to worry about paying him the twenty-five grand.”

“Oh no. He’ll find the back door. I made sure of that.”

Luke cocked his head. “I don’t get it. Why do you want him to find it?”

“I’ll see just how well my program works. If he finds the back door really fast, then I need to make some adjustments. If he’s got to work for it, then I’ve done my job.”

“How long will it take him to find it?”

“Probably two days if he really attacks the problem. Once he finds it, I’ll put in the remaining safeguards to block it. It’s just a test to see how secure the program is. In this case, the program has to be better than anything out there.” She rolled her shoulders, easing the tension in them and her neck. “The Knox Project has been kicking my ass, but I’ve finally made some headway. I should finish it on time and under budget.”

He stroked a hand down the side of her face. “No wonder you look so tired.”

She raised a brow. “You suck at sweet-talking women.”

That sexy grin came out again. “I’ll work on it. But right now I’m worried about you.” His thumb brushed her cheek and she couldn’t help leaning into his touch. “I didn’t expect you to be so thoughtful and caring after talking to Margaret.”

“Hearsay, Counselor. Inadmissible for good reason. It’s unreliable at best. Lies at worst.”

“Point taken. So tell me more. The company must be doing well if you can hand out twenty-five-thousand-dollar bonuses.”

She eyed him. “I’m surprised you haven’t dug up all those details.”

“I planned to,” he readily admitted. “And it’s not hard to discover the financials on a publicly held company. But like you, I got busy with lawyer work and ranch stuff and driving myself crazy trying to come up with a way to apologize to you.”

She ran her hand over the beautiful gift. “You did very well.”

“I’m just glad you haven’t kicked me out.”

“I understand work taking over your life. It’s why my companies are doing exceptionally well. The Spencer Software stock has been up every quarter and profits have increased considerably. My success with Spencer Software has allowed me to start another business. It’s extremely successful, too, which is why I work all the time.”

“Why do you do it? You could have sold the company or had someone else run it when Sean died. Instead, you kept it going and started another company.”

She shrugged. “I couldn’t let it go. At the time the company was in the midst of going public. Sean’s death worried the investors, but there were other problems I had to fix, or the company would have imploded. And I made a promise to Margaret.”

“What promise?”

“That no matter what, I’d keep the company going, so that when the boys grew up they’d have something of their father.”

“What if the boys grow up and don’t want any part of the business?”

“That’s fine with me. They can do whatever makes them happy. The money from the business will give them the opportunity to spread their wings and find that thing they love to do.”

“Yeah, but it won’t be a piece of Sean. It’s all you. You run the company, and you do the work that keeps it alive.”

“Try telling Margaret that. She’s so focused on Sean’s death and being angry with me, she hasn’t taken the time to even ask about the company. I suppose she doesn’t really care about the details. I love what I do, but sometimes the amount of hours I work feels like the punishment Margaret wants to inflict on me.” The loneliness of it overwhelmed her sometimes.

Luke brushed his thumb over the back of her hand. “Then take a break and spend the evening with me. Let me make everything up to you and show you that I really am a good guy. We’ll drive into town, I’ll take you to a great restaurant, and we’ll get to know each other even better.” Luke glanced into her room. “I hope Margaret can watch the boys. Otherwise, we’ll take them with us.”

She appreciated that he was so willing to include them. “Actually, Margaret took them over to Bridget’s place for dinner and a movie.” Sarah hadn’t been invited, which suited her. “They won’t be back for a while. You just missed them.” She yawned. “I’m not really up to going out tonight.”

Luke’s face fell in disappointment.

She just wanted to be alone with him. “I have another half hour of work to get done and sent back to my office. Let me do that and I’ll meet you at the ranch. You have a really nice firepit by the garden. Get a fire ready, and I’ll bring dinner. We’ll have a cookout and watch the sun go down.”

His eyes lit up with excitement and anticipation. “Sounds good to me.”

He stood, and since their hands were still linked, he brought her up with him. “I’ve missed you so damn much.” He pulled her hand up over his shoulder and leaned down to kiss her. Soft, warm, his mouth touched hers and she was lost in him. Completely intoxicated, she dove in for more, sweeping her tongue along his, tasting him, taking him in.

He held her so close and she felt so safe in his arms. Time, work, all the pressures in her life disappeared and for the first time in a long while she felt like only a woman, wanted and needed by a man who made her feel those things and so much more.

His lips left her mouth and he kissed his way around her face. One on her jaw, he moved up to her temple, kissed her on the forehead, and gave her one last kiss on the lips before he pulled away. Dazed, he held her by her shoulders while she regained her head.

“I’ll see you in about an hour or so. You sure you don’t want me to cook, or take you out?”

“Huh? What?”

“Dinner,” he reminded her, his grin even more vibrant—and smug.

She didn’t mind. He’d earned it. “Wow, you have to stop kissing me like that. I completely lose all coherent thought.”

A laugh rumbled out of him. “Good to know.”

She smacked his shoulder. “I’ll bring everything.”

“Hurry up. If I only get a couple hours, I want every minute of it.” He gave her a light kiss, then cupped her cheek and held her gaze. “I really am worried about you.”

“I’ll be okay. Dinner will reenergize me. You’ll see.” She squeezed his impressive biceps. “Thank you for my gift. I’ll keep all my treasures in it.”

“I’m glad you like it. I’ll see you in a little while. Don’t keep me waiting.”

“I won’t.” She watched him leave down the back steps, excited for their date and the possibility of something more, even if she hadn’t dated anyone in forever.

She sat at the table to finish her work, but the music box held her attention and she ran her hands lovingly over the wood.

Luke had been wrong. Sean had never given her anything as nice as the music box. In the beginning, she thought he just didn’t want to spend what little money they hadn’t sunk into the business on extravagances she didn’t need. Later, when they had more money, all the gifts had been work related. He’d get her a new cell phone or some new upgraded laptop. All the gifts were so she could work more efficiently, or do her job better, but she’d wanted something just for her, as a woman, as his wife.

The only piece of jewelry he’d ever bought her was her gold wedding band. She’d never had a diamond ring.

Birthdays and anniversaries they spent out to dinner at a fancy restaurant, which was nice but impersonal. It wasn’t the same as a gift chosen with love especially for her.

It hurt.

And Sean had done it to get back at her. Because although he’d had the idea for the business and loved wining and dining potential customers, she got the credit and praise for the programs. Clients started asking for her. And Sean didn’t like not being the center of attention or getting the praise he so loved.

Sean knew she wanted a family. He was only too happy to give her what she wanted so she’d be happy—and work more. He expected her to produce at the same level as before she had the boys. He managed everything during her eight weeks’ maternity leave with Jack, but the same burnout he’d had in school came back when he had to take over her projects during that time. He preferred being the salesman. The second she was back to work, he piled it on, despite her objections and pleas that he hire someone to help with the load. But they were barely getting by, with small margins on projects to build a name for the company and keep the investors happy.

When Nick came along, Sean gave her barely two weeks before he was pushing her to complete one very important project after the next. It seemed everything was dire. The work needed to be done better and faster than the competition could do it.

That’s when he stopped pretending her cared about her at all. He stopped treating her like a wife and treated her like an employee. He wouldn’t give an inch on her schedule and expected her to meet every deadline. When she didn’t, or took time with the kids, he’d yell at her, give her the cold shoulder, and argue with her, amping the enormous amount of stress and pressure on her.

He’d given her the family she wanted, hoping it would be enough to keep her happy and working. But Sean barely spent any time with the boys. They hardly ever did anything together.

And the dream of having the family she never had as a child evaporated and she knew her boys would never have that either with Sean.

She knew she needed to get out, but sometimes that’s easier said than done when there are little hearts involved, there’s no money, other people are depending on you for their job and income, and investors want to see a return on their investment.

To make matters worse, Sean didn’t hide why he stopped being nice to her. She’d known almost to the minute the affair started. It wasn’t hard. The woman worked in their office. They didn’t hide it, but flaunted it in front of her. Sean left the office early with her, took her out to dinner and to exotic places for long weekends. She’d seen the bank and credit card statements documenting their affair. And all the extravagant gifts he bought her.

The expensive jewelry hurt her the most.

Trivial, yes. But it broke her heart to realize she’d been used to build the business he’d wanted but couldn’t pull off because he didn’t have the stamina to do the actual work.

It took her far longer than it should have to realize he’d never loved her. He’d simply needed her drive and talent to succeed.

Sean got caught up in his own ego and thinking the company would be the next big Silicon Valley success. But without her, it would have all come crashing down around him. His mistake was in thinking the woman who only wanted to be loved would do anything to get it from him.

She had more pride and self-worth than that, even if Sean had stomped all over them.

She’d worked hard to earn her degree and change her life.

She’d never settle for anything less than real ever again. She wouldn’t settle for a man who wanted everything from her and gave nothing in return.

Sarah ran her hands over the music box, pulled it to her chest, and thought of Luke, a man who said “thank you” and “I’m sorry” with his heart.