Lost and Found Family by Jennifer Ryan

Luke lit the fire and peeked under the cooler lid Sarah opened and saw a couple bottles of his favorite beer and several foil packets of food.

“So, what did you make? All I see is foil, salsa, and tortillas. Tacos?”

“Just wait. Put the foil packets on the grill grate. Everything is cooked. It only needs to heat.”

She reached in and pulled out a beer for each of them. She cracked one open and handed it to him and did the same with another for herself. She clinked her bottle neck to his and took a long swallow of the cold beer and let out a satisfied sigh. “God, that’s good. Do you know how long it’s been since I had a beer in the great outdoors?”

“Too long to remember how good it is.” He took a sip of his beer and sat in the chair beside hers. “So, this is what you like to do when you have free time?”

“What? Oh no. Well, yes. But this is all for you. Here’s what I do when I have free time.”

She grabbed her purse and took out a bottle of bloodred nail polish. She kicked off her shoes, pulled off her sock, and put her foot up on the end of the chair and painted her toenails. “This is the best invention ever. Nail polish that dries in less than two minutes.” She wiggled her toes to help them dry.

“Are you telling me that the only thing you do for yourself when you have free time is paint your toes? And the most amount of time you actually take for yourself is, what, two, maybe three minutes?”

She swiped her pinkie toe, then closed up the nail polish bottle. “Welcome to my world.”

He turned his head toward her. “Tell me about your world. What’s a typical day like for you?”

“Let’s see. I get up at seven with the boys. Camille, our nanny and housekeeper, who is amazing and the boys love her, arrives at the same time. She makes the kids breakfast and gets them ready for school while I shower and get ready for work. I usually take at least one call during this time depending on the clients I’m dealing with and what time zone they’re in. I drive the boys to school at eight and head into my office. I take care of whatever meetings I have for the day—board meetings, client meetings, conference calls, etcetera. At noon I pick up Nick from preschool and take him home to Camille, who’s already made our lunch. Nick and I eat together. It’s our one-on-one time. Then I go back to work. My office can have more than twenty laptops going, representing each of the projects I’m solely responsible for. At three I pick up Jack and take him home. We do homework for half an hour and I go back to work again. I work on projects and deal with whatever calls or meetings come up. At six I pack up however many laptops I’ll need for the night. Camille cooks dinner most nights. Sometimes I pick something up or we order pizza. The kids and I eat together. Camille goes home. The boys and I spend time playing, then I give them their baths, and put them to bed by eight. Then I work until three, maybe four in the morning, sleep, and do it all again the next day at seven.”

“You put in a twenty-hour day, five days a week. Are you crazy? No wonder you look like you’re exhausted all the time.”

“Since I’ve been here, I haven’t gone to bed before five. I’ve been sneaking into your stables at night. Remember? That’s why I’m so tired.”

He gave her a disapproving scowl and used tongs to take the food off the grill. She wrapped the tortillas in foil and tossed them on the grill to warm. “I suppose you catch up on sleep on the weekend.”

“I wish. Sometimes, if I’m really lucky, the boys sleep in until seven-thirty. I spend the day with the boys. But once they go down at eight, I’m back to work until the early morning again.”

“Now I want to take you to bed for a whole other reason. I just want to watch you sleep for a full eight hours.”

She laughed. “I haven’t slept eight hours straight in, I don’t know, ten years.”

“You kept these kinds of hours even when Sean was alive and running the company?”

“Yes and no. Yes, I kept these hours, but instead of taking several hours a day to play with the kids, I worked all those hours. In the beginning, we were trying to get the company going, and then we took the company public, in addition to the fact that I gave birth to two boys. Then, Sean was gone and there was only me to make sure the company stayed open. I had stockholders and employees to consider.” She shrugged one shoulder like it was nothing. “I just do it. Over the past two years, I’ve grown the business considerably and expanded into other areas. We used to handle small jobs, but now I take on projects worth millions, as you heard on the last call I took. The Knox Project that I’m doing now is worth over twenty million.”

He was impressed. “What’s the Knox Project? Are you working for Fort Knox?”

She gave him a crooked smile while she took the tortillas from the grill. She opened all the foil packages and made him a burrito of chorizo and eggs, cheese, and salsa. She gave him a big scoop of fried potatoes and onions and handed him his plate.

“Hey, this is my favorite breakfast when I go camping. How did you know?”

“Jerry. He knows all kinds of wonderful things about you. I love breakfast for dinner, so I threw this together. Not exactly five-star-chef, but really good all the same.”

Luke’s grin made her stomach tingle. “So you asked about me, did you?”

She smiled and his eyes warmed as they watched her. Instead of answering that loaded question, she steered the conversation to an easier topic, her work.

“Every project I take on I give a name. It gets tedious referring to the projects by the company they belong to, or the person who hired us to do the job. I try to pick a name that’s both fun and describes the project. Most recently, I had the Petticoat Project. That one was for a lingerie chain. The Knox Project is for a financial and investment firm. It’s the largest and most demanding project I’ve ever taken. The company hired me to secure their systems. I’ve worked on several smaller companies’ security programs, but this is like securing Fort Knox. Hence the name. Once the installation goes through and the company goes live with my product, it will be the newest and most secure security program available. The encryption and safeguards can’t be matched.”

“I had no idea you were such an expert. The way Margaret spoke, she made it seem like Sean had tutored you through school, and you were just going along for the ride with the company. That isn’t true, is it.”

More lies Sean told. “I graduated MIT with honors. On my own. Growing up the way I did, I learned an important lesson. You can’t depend on anyone else to do things for you.” It made her angry to think anyone would think of her as some helpless female. She worked hard to get through the challenging school, where so many failed or burned out.

“Instead of going with one of the many lucrative job offers we received at graduation, Sean wanted to build our own company. Sean had big dreams. He sold me on the idea and the life we’d have together once the company hit big. At first, we shared the workload. But about a year into it, Sean burned out on the time-consuming and technical coding and shifted his focus from the projects to bringing in clients.”

“Sounds like a good balance. But let me guess, it wasn’t for you.”

“Don’t get me wrong, convincing people to take a chance on a brand-new startup took time and effort. Sean excelled at wining and dining potential clients. And we started winning a lot of bids.”

“But doing the actual work was a lot more time-consuming and demanding than what he did.”

“Eight-to-ten-hour days turned into fourteen-to-eighteen-hour days. While Sean was schmoozing people, taking meetings, and attending conferences, I delivered the product and slowly became more and less important to Sean.”

Luke held her gaze. “Work became more important than your personal relationship.”

“When I voiced my concerns, tried to pull back on work so we’d have more time together, he was all about the company. I became just an employee.”

“I’m sorry, Sarah. That had to hurt.”

“I got lost in Sean’s dream. I tried so hard to make him happy.”

Luke put his hand on her knee. “But you weren’t happy.”

“I wanted a home and family. But having the boys didn’t give me the home I wanted for us. And then Sean was gone and everything fell to me.”

“And you’re still doing the bulk of the projects,” he pointed out.

“Not exactly. We have nearly two hundred people at the company. Most of the programmers handle the meat and potatoes. Web design, data processing programs, system security, networking, that kind of thing. We’re a comprehensive software company.”

“So if that’s the basis of the business, what’s your focus?”

“I work on the big-ticket, complex projects that take a high-level, expert programmer. It’s kind of my thing.”

“How did you even get into programming?”

“When I went to live with my dad, he hired a full-time tutor because I was so far behind in school. He got me a laptop to do my schoolwork. I’d never used a computer. So I started asking questions about how it worked. I got basic answers from him, a bit more from my tutor, but I wanted more, so the tutor found me a couple online computer classes to do on my own.”

“And you were hooked.”

“It just made sense to me. Since I spent so much time alone as a kid, spending hours on a computer seemed like a great job to me. Getting the computer to do what I wanted it to do . . . I loved it.”

“But you can’t keep up this kind of pace. Believe me, I know. It’s why I backed off from my law practice. Don’t you want more balance in your life?”

“With the business growing so rapidly, I simply haven’t had time to hire programmers who are at my level. I’ve hired some key staff under me to take care of implementation and testing once the software’s written, but I haven’t had the time to interview or search for the talent that I need to do the projects like I do. I have a few software developers who take on pieces of the coding, but it’s just the basic stuff.

“The Knox Project is completely new territory. Once it goes live, my company is never going to be the same, and my life will change, drastically. As it is, the press is hounding Abby and the rest of the board of directors trying to get to me.”

“Don’t you do interviews?”

She shook her head. “Not my thing. I like my privacy. Whenever there’s a press conference or some kind of public engagement that requires someone from the company to speak, I send Evan. He’s co-CEO and loves the limelight and being the face of the company. But it’s the same thing that happened with Sean. People aren’t satisfied with talking to a figurehead. They want to talk to the person generating the success.

“Plus, my time is valuable. I hardly attend customer meetings, unless it’s absolutely necessary. I do most of the meetings via conference call or email. Whenever it’s necessary to go to a company site to look over a system, I usually sneak in unannounced, get what I need, and leave before upper management has a chance to find out I’m in the building. People love to talk and hold meetings that go on and on and cover the same ground. I learned early on an email that takes me five minutes to write usually takes care of something much better than an hour-long meeting.”

“I can relate. When I meet with clients, they want to go over things again and again. I mean, they’re paying for my time, so I’m happy to talk until they feel secure that I’m doing everything I can on their case. But when I’ve said the same thing five times, I’m ready for them to get out of my office and let me do my job.”

“Exactly. It doesn’t help that I started a side business, which took off immediately, and that just added to the speculation because no one knew where the work was coming from. I hide behind the company name. More recently, the foundation I started after Sean died has gotten a lot of press for our charitable work.”

“And Margaret knows nothing about any of this.” Luke sounded surprised, but he shouldn’t be.

“She doesn’t want to know anything about me.”

“The boys must be extremely impressed.”

“Not really. I’m just Mom. They have no idea of the success I’ve had. I don’t want them seeing their mother’s face plastered all over the Internet and in business magazines. Unfortunately, I’ve made it impossible to maintain that much longer. I’m attending a charity benefit at the end of the month and the press is expecting me. Abby calls it my coming-out party. I think it’s ridiculous, but it’s good publicity.”

Luke swallowed a bite of burrito and wiped his mouth on a napkin. “Do you need a date for this charity benefit? Or do you already have one?” Those words must have left a bad taste in his mouth if the sour expression on his face was any indication.

“I’d love you to come with me, but I’m afraid I might bore you to death. In addition to the benefit that evening, Abby has several meetings set up before the dinner. I’m doing double duty that night. I’ll be the attendee and the CEO extraordinaire. Still want to go?”

“Absolutely.” His eager response made her smile and set the butterflies in her belly to fluttering wildly. “What day is it?”

“The twenty-seventh.”

Luke perked up. “The Rockford Benefit?”

“Yes.”

“My family goes every year. We buy our own table.” Which meant Luke believed in giving back just as much as she did.

“Then we’ll be there together.” She took a huge bite of her burrito and savored the yummy taste. “So you’ll be taking off your cowboy hat and putting on your lawyer one?”

“Something like that.” He’d demolished his first burrito and made another. “You might be the only person who sees me as two different people.”

“I know you fit here. I’d love a glimpse of you all suited up as a lawyer.”

“I prefer jeans, but I’d put a suit on for you any day of the week.” The warmth in his voice shot right through her.

“I can’t wait to see it.” She wanted to know so much more about him. “So tell me about your childhood.”

“Well, it was always me and Jason together growing up. Just like Jack and Nick. We were best friends as well as brothers. Like you, Dad ran a successful business and had the money for us to live in the biggest house imaginable, but they wanted us to grow up having had a normal life. Education was the highest priority and we went to great schools, but we were raised in an upscale but not outrageous house in the Bay Area. We spent summers here. Mom, especially, loved the ranch. She likes open spaces. They travel a lot now, and Dad only goes into the office a couple days a week. I work three twelve-hour days during the week in the office and a couple of hours each night the other days here. I sometimes have to go into court the other days.”

“It must be nice to have so many people to count on.”

“We’re a close family. Always have been. Do you see your dad a lot?”

“Once in a while. We keep in touch over the phone, but our relationship is . . . complicated.”

“How’s that? He’s your dad. Were you angry that he didn’t find you sooner?”

“Actually, no. My mother never told him about me. As I understand it, they met and had a very brief affair. It didn’t even last a month. She went back to her tumultuous family. I never met my grandparents, but it’s obvious they weren’t nice people. My mother turned out to be a wild child, drinking, getting into trouble, ending up pregnant young and not even telling the guy. My uncle was as neglectful as my mother and a mean drunk. It’s no wonder the relationship between my mom and dad didn’t work out. He came from a stable family and had plans for his life that didn’t include the perpetual party my mom enjoyed and used to cover up her misery.”

Luke shook his head. “That sucks.”

“Yeah. Anyway, my dad went on to a very successful career in finance, got married, and had a family. I have a half-brother, he’s seventeen and completely in love with what I do. He’s extremely talented with a computer. I hope he’ll finish college and come to work for me. I give him some of my products to test.”

“I feel like you’re leaving something out. Do you spend holidays with them? Does your dad’s wife accept you? Are you part of the family now?”

“Again, it’s complicated. He didn’t even know I existed until I was arrested and my uncle contacted him, hoping he could make right what I’d done with a big fat check. I didn’t even know my uncle knew who my father was, but the moment my dad saw me, he knew I was his, and he accepted me. He believed me when I told him what happened and told my uncle to suck it. My dad and his wife took me into their home, but it was awkward and difficult at first. He wanted to make up for sixteen years by being a parent to me, but I’d lived a lot of life in my sixteen years and had pretty much taken care of myself for most of it. I didn’t need someone to micromanage my life. I needed someone to help me move on. Once he figured that out, he let me lead and we became close friends. That was enough for me.

“He hired a top attorney to get me out of the trouble with my uncle’s ranch. Two years’ probation and community service. I was grateful. It still bothers him he didn’t know about me, and that I grew up the way I did. He has regrets. I have regrets. Our relationship isn’t like most fathers’ and daughters’ but it means the world to me to know that he’s on my side. He could have walked away from the whole thing when my uncle called him and kept his family in the dark that he had an illegitimate daughter, but he didn’t. He chose me and the harder path over taking the easy way out.”

“Do you and the boys spend time with him and his family?”

“Not as much as we’d like. Everyone’s so busy. But I really love it when we’re all together.”

“If you stopped working so much, you’d have more time to spend with them.” He said it with a teasing tone, but she heard the gentle reminder to take better care of herself and stop working like a maniac.

“I’ll take that under advisement, Counselor.” She smirked at him. “Tell me about growing up here with your brother. It must have been heaven.”

She leaned back in her chair and looked at the beautiful landscape. The ranch was really lovely. The old oak trees stood tall and green. She could imagine being a kid on the ranch and running around the pastures, climbing the trees, and just being young. She felt she’d never been a child. Not since her mother died and she’d been shipped from one horrible foster home to the next until she ended up working her childhood away on her uncle’s ranch.

“I imagine my childhood was the exact opposite of yours. My brother and I ran wild on this land. My father spent a lot of time with us. We’d go camping in the woods and fishing at the creek. My mother was always home, waiting for her men to return, with a hot meal prepared and a smile for all of us. Where Dad was fun, she was strict and kept us all in line, but in a good way. She still tells us all what to do. We always do what she says. We spend the holidays together no matter what else is going on in our lives. We try to get together for dinner at least once a month. I see my father and brother at the office the days I go in, and sometimes when she knows we’re all there together she’ll come down and force us to eat a healthy lunch.”

“Definitely the complete opposite of my upbringing. It was hard when I first had Jack. I had no idea how to take care of a baby. I read all kinds of books, but they don’t really tell you how to be a good parent. I didn’t have anyone to ask how I was doing. I questioned everything I did. I drove myself insane thinking I was going to mess up and do something that would damage him for life. After a while, I finally took some advice from my father and started paying more attention to the cues Jack gave me and relaxed.”

“Sean must have been a big help. He’d grown up with his mom and sister. Surely he was able to lend a hand.”

“Sure.”

Not exactly convincing.

Luke already doubted everything he’d learned about Sarah from Margaret. What his investigator had discovered about Sean spoke of a shitty husband. Apparently he’d been a crap father, too.

Sarah never quite lied about him, but it was evident she never told the whole truth either.

As a lawyer, Luke was very familiar with the tactic. He’d let it go for now. She’d learn to trust him, and he’d find out just how big of a bastard Sean had been to her. Because everything he’d learned in his investigation showed Sean had checked out of the marriage early on, and that sucked for Sarah, who deserved a hell of a lot better. But what Sarah also deserved was a fuller life. She could let go, but she was afraid to. Her reasons for not hiring top-notch staff who would be able to take some of the work off her shoulders sounded like excuses. He needed to discover why she had such a hard time letting go.

“Tell me something you like.”

She eyed him. “What do you mean? Like chocolate?”

He smiled. “Every sane person likes chocolate. What else?”

“Ice cream, rainy days, but only when I get to be inside by a roaring fire reading a book. Horses, but you knew that. I like your garden. It’s very peaceful, and although it’s faded now, I bet it looks spectacular in the spring. I don’t know what else. Most of my time is spent working, instead of enjoying life. I like being a mom. I feel that’s when I’m at my best, when it’s just me and the boys and we’re laughing and playing.”

“What kind of ice cream?”

“Rocky Road. Coffee. Vanilla with fudge. One of these days I’m going to take an entire day off. It will be raining, I’ll have my raging fire, and I’ll sleep for at least twelve hours, then I’ll read a sexy romance novel and eat a gallon of ice cream. Now, that would be a great day. It’ll never happen, but it would be a great day.”

“Where are the boys on this great day?”

“With Camille, the nanny. Every mom deserves a day to herself once in a while.”

“Well, how about on this great day of yours, you share it with me and we sit on a soft blanket by that raging fire after you’ve had at least twelve hours of sleep. We’ll eat ice cream, then I’ll make love to you until you’re completely satisfied and devoid of energy. I’ll kiss every inch of you and run my hands over your soft skin. I’ll finally get your hair out of that ponytail you like so much and spread it across the blanket and run my fingers through it, while I completely ravage your mouth with mine. I’ll bury my hands in all that hair when I fill you. I’ll be so deep inside you that you’ll think we couldn’t possibly be any closer. Then, I’ll take you on the ride of your life where we’ll both end up tangled in that blanket and hotter for each other than any fire could ever burn. Your sexy romance novel will blush at the things I’ll do to you.”

She blushed from the tips of her newly painted toes to the top of her head. No one had ever looked lovelier or smiled bigger.

“Your dream day is far better than mine.”

“I’ll make it your favorite dream day.”

“You’re going to have to work up to that rainy day with me. It won’t be tonight.”

“I knew you were going to say that.” Still, the disappointment hit him hard.

She pointed to the sunset sky. “No rain,” she teased. “But perhaps the cookies in the cooler will appease you for now. Will you get them out?”

He grabbed the plastic container and opened it. He glanced up at her and smiled. “Just how much did Jerry tell you?”

“Enough. I hope you like them.”

Peanut butter cookies loaded with peanuts, just the way he liked them. He felt spoiled for the first time in a long time. She’d made him one of his favorite meals and baked his favorite cookies in between everything else she had to do. “You’ve got more than a full plate, yet you took the time to do all of this for me. Why?”

She met his gaze. “Because I wanted to do something nice for you. That’s all.” She shrugged, then stared into the fire.

She was so simple in the nicest ways. He couldn’t remember a time when a woman had done something for him just because she wanted to be nice. Ulterior motives usually came with anything good someone did for him. Sarah’s sincerity touched him deeply. “Tell me what you don’t like.”

She pinched her lips, then looked at him. “I don’t like people who hurt others for sport.”

Like Sean?

“I hate the smell of jasmine perfume.”

Because Sean came home smelling like it?

“I don’t like being stuck in traffic. I don’t like people who harm animals, or children. You could probably guess that one. I don’t like peas, cooked carrots, or tomatoes.”

“You don’t like tomatoes? Not even in spaghetti sauce?”

“Spaghetti sauce is fine, but I don’t like fresh tomatoes. They squish and squirt in your mouth. It’s gross.” She made a sour face and stuck out her tongue like children do when they don’t like something.

Luke laughed, loving her smile, and the way she made him relax and enjoy the moment.

They sat in the garden eating cookies, talking, and laughing together for the better part of two hours. They talked about everyday things and stories from their childhoods. They both avoided talking any more about work because they wanted to concentrate on getting to know each other aside from what they did for a living.

Sean didn’t come up again. He’d caused enough trouble between them, so Luke steered clear.

The sun set and the light faded. He helped Sarah pack up the leftover food and put the cooler back in her car. And when it was time for her to go, like always, he didn’t want her to leave.

She stood outside the driver’s side door. “I had a really good time.” She pressed her lips together and took a steadying breath. “There’s something I want to say.”

She stared at his chest for the longest time.

“You can say anything to me,” he coaxed.

She finally met his gaze again. “I have a complicated life. I know we’ve just begun to get to know each other, but . . . I’ve never felt this way about anyone. I hope we do this again.”

“I don’t just want to do this again, I want you to stay, even if we don’t know what that looks like right now. But I have four weeks to convince you.”

He closed the distance between them, pressed her up against the SUV, and kissed her until her hands wound around his neck, and she pulled him in tighter. They lost themselves in the kiss and each other. He savored the feel of her body pressed against his and completely lost his mind to her and the heady scent of her citrusy sweet perfume.

He broke the searing kiss, pressed one to her cheek, then whispered in her ear, “Stay with me.”

Her hands slid down his neck and shoulders and landed on his chest. “The boys will be home soon,” she reminded him.

Disappointed but understanding completely, he pressed his forehead to hers and stared into her gorgeous eyes. At least she knew he wanted her. “Promise me you’ll get some rest.”

“Are you trying to take care of me?”

“I’d like to, if you’d let me.” He brushed his hand down her arm and took her hand. “You haven’t given me your promise to rest.”

“I don’t make promises I can’t keep.” She squeezed his hand to halt his protest. “I’ll try to get more rest. I’ve been giving a lot of thought to cutting back on my schedule and hiring some new people. It’s going to take time, but I know I need to do it. For myself, and for the boys. Okay?”

“For now.”

She ran her hand down the side of his face and leaned up and gave him a soft, lingering kiss goodbye. He wanted to wrap her in his arms and hold on to her. Instead, he reluctantly released her and waved goodbye as she drove away, realizing this was the first time he’d ever regretted ending a date.

He already missed her and couldn’t wait to see her again.