His Regret by Bella J.
Chapter Twelve
June 30, 2009
“Hunter…baby?You need to wake up.”
That voice. It was the soft, sweet voice he wanted to hear every morning for the rest of his life.
“Come on, baby, wake up.”
He leisurely stretched out before rolling on his side, reaching for her waist. Wrapping his arm around her, he let out a moan of appreciation as he placed his hand on her firm, round ass. “Hey, blue eyes.”
She chuckled. “Hunter, come on. I have to go.”
“No.” He pulled her closer, nestling his nose into her hair. God, he loved that smell. Lilies—she always smelled like lilies and early spring mornings. “I don’t want you to go.”
She turned to face him and wrapped a leg around his waist. They were all tangled up in his old, faded out red cotton sheets. One day, he would have enough money to make sure he made love to her every night between satin sheets on a king-size bed, not a single bed in a tiny-ass apartment downtown.
Softly, she traced a fingertip all around his face—his nose, his cheeks, his lips, then gently pushed her thumb into his mouth. That earned another moan from the back of his throat.
He tightened his hold around her waist, pressing her harder against him, letting her feel what a simple touch from her did to him. It made him feel like he would take on an entire army, fight and slaughter every demon in hell if it meant being with her, having her in every way possible.
“Oh, Mr. Keaton. Already?” She smiled, tracing her finger gently along his bottom lip.
“It’s all your fault, Blue. You corrupted me, turned me in to an insatiable man.” He leaned forward, gently gliding his lips against hers while pushing her down onto the bed and positioning himself on top of her. No matter how much he kissed her, it felt like his craving for her just grew stronger, like he would never have enough. With every touch of her mouth against his he found himself wanting more, needing everything this woman had to give. If anyone asked him if he had ever fucked on cocaine, he would say yes. She was his cocaine.
Subtly she moved her hips beneath him, and he moaned when he got the slightest feel of her heat, of the need that pooled between her legs.
“You know, Blue, you nearly kill me every time,” he whispered against her ear, remaining still on top of her, letting her hips do all the work.
“What do you mean?” She weaved her fingers through his hair, her body pushing him to the brink of insanity.
If someone would have told him two months ago that he would be this pussy whipped over a girl, he would have laughed first and then punched that person in the damn face. Hunter Keaton did not fall in love. Hunter Keaton did not under any circumstances commit, and he sure as shit did not dream about white picket fences and family pets.
That was until he met her.
He moved his hand down the side of her face. “When I saw you walking into Billy’s Bar that night, I knew I had finally seen what perfection looked like.”
She snickered. “That is probably the worst line I have ever heard, Mr. Keaton.”
“I’m serious. I couldn’t take my eyes off you for a second. It was torture to keep myself from wanting you.” He moved, pushing forward just a little, and watched as she threw her head back, a soft moan rolling over her lips.
“Why did you want to keep yourself from wanting me?” she whispered, her voice low, quivering as she kept on moving, the need between them growing stronger.
He gave her another inch of him, biting back his own moan as the pleasure slowly started to move up his spine. “Because I knew I would never be able to have you.”
“What are you talking about?” She could hardly speak through labored breaths as he kept on moving slowly, filling her little by little, never taking his eyes off her beautiful face. He loved watching her as she went closer and closer to the edge, going to a place that only he had ever taken her to.
“You were just too damn beautiful. You still are.”
Gently he wiped a strand of hair from her face and cupped her cheek. “Every time I’m with you like this, it feels unreal. Like, I can’t even fathom the idea that you want and need me like this. But by God, I never want to wake up and realize that you and me—this—was just a dream. It’ll kill me, Blue.”
She smiled while biting her lower lip, and he felt her clenching around him, almost letting him lose control. “You’re not dreaming. You do have me, in this way—in every way possible you have me. You will never have to wake up to a life where I don’t love you, Hunter.”
God. Hearing her say that did strange, warm, wonderful things to his insides. She was the girl he never knew he always wanted. For the first time in his life he knew what it felt like to dream about a future, to have hope.
Hunter grew up without all the privileges his friends had. It was just him and his mother. He never met his father, but from what his mother had told him, he was glad he never had.
It was a constant struggle for survival. He had worked from the day he turned eight, mowing lawns, taking out trash, painting fences, doing every odd job a little boy could do just so he could help his mother keep the fort. So it was safe to say that there was no place for hope in his life. From an early age, he had learned the hard lesson that the only way to avoid disappointment was to never allow yourself to hope for anything more than you already had.
Yet here he was, on the verge of making love to the one person who had given him reason to hope for so much more. His blue-eyed princess.
It felt like there was nothing before her, like he didn’t exist before he met her. His entire life was a big black hole of nothing before he met her. And now all he wanted was to spend the rest of his life with her, being what she needed him to be—a better man.
He placed his forehead against hers, feeling her warm breath against his wet lips. “Tell me this is real.” He pushed forward, giving her another inch of him. “Tell me that I’ll never have to wake up and find you gone—that you will always want me and need me like you do now.”
She bucked her hips, taking him inside of her completely, and they both moaned. Hunter closed his eyes while the pleasure possessed his entire body, while she possessed his soul. To him, there was no better place to be than here, inside of her, making love to her.
“This is as real as it gets, Hunter.” She panted, her body starting to move faster in search of release.
He opened his eyes and stared down at her, loving the shade of pink on her flushed cheeks. Even though she was right there beneath him, he longed for her. He longed to give her a life someone as perfect as she deserved, a life he hoped he would be able to give her one day. That was all he wanted, yet he wasn’t sure he would be able to give her that.
“There are so many things working against us, Blue.”
Her lips curled up in a smile. “Are you scared of a challenge, Mr. Keaton?”
“Not a challenge, no.” He flexed, harder this time, and she moaned. “I love to push the limits. But one thing I never allow myself is to want something I know I can never have. Something I don’t deserve.”
She opened her eyes, and those piercing blue sapphires looked at him with a mixture of euphoria, love—and sadness. Hunter was convinced she had the soul of an angel burning behind those blue irises. Placing her palm on his cheek, she brought her lips to his, kissing him softly with her warm lips, letting her tongue barely touch his before pulling back.
“You deserve more than you allow yourself to have, Hunter Keaton.”
Their gazes remained locked on one another while he was still buried deep inside her, a place he could stay forever. “You are all I want, Blue.”
“And I am yours.”
He couldn’t hold it back anymore and started to move faster, harder. There was nothing in this world that could make him feel the way he did when he was inside her. Nothing could compare to the feeling of being one with the woman who had somehow managed to grab a hold of his heart and made him pray to God that she would never let it go.
She wrapped her arms around his shoulders, her hips moving, matching his every thrust. His breathing became more labored, his spine tingling, and his heart aching for the woman he was giving his all to. Never in a million years did he ever think he would be lucky enough to experience this kind of connection with someone. And now here he was, letting his soul become one with a woman he would happily lay down his life for.
Her nails pressed into the skin of his shoulders. Her back arched, and her cries of pleasure filled his ears as she climaxed around him.
It was beautiful—magical.
“I love you, Hunter.”
With those words he found his own release, and his body trembled as the connection between them soared. Making love to her was probably the most beautiful thing he would ever do in his whole goddamn life.
“And I love you, Blue.”
He gently pressed his lips against hers, swallowing her labored breaths.
It was over.
He was ruined.
There would never be anyone else for him. Knowing he had been the first and only one to have her in this way, the only man to give her pleasure, made him feel like the king of the world.
As much as Hunter wanted to stay like this forever, be within their own little world where there was no place for reality, he knew the crux of their situation. He knew that no matter how hard he wanted everything about them together to be simple, it wasn’t. It was far from simple. She was an uptown girl, and he was nothing more than a guy who came from the wrong side of the tracks. There was nothing that could justify them being together besides the fact that he fucking loved her with everything he had in him. There would never be another man who would be able to love her as much as he did. But was that enough? Was he enough?
He parted his lips from hers, closed his eyes, and tried to catch his breath. That terrifying feeling of insecurity he felt more often than not started to rear its ugly head. Feeling insecure was not something Hunter was accustomed to. He might have been a poor son of a bitch with little hope for a good future, but he never felt insecure as a man. But now, with her, he had never felt more insecure about himself.
“I will never be good enough for you.”
“Hunter, don’t. Don’t ruin it.”
He lifted his head and looked down at her. “I’m serious. I will never be good enough for you or your family.”
“How many times do I have to tell you that my family doesn’t matter?”
“Of course they matter. We will never have their blessing. They will never accept me.”
“I don’t care.” She turned her face to the side, but he took her chin between his fingers and forced her to look at him.
“Yes, you do care. You will never be able to be happy knowing that we don’t have your family’s blessing.”
“I love you, Hunter. That’s all I need.” She held his gaze and said the words that changed everything. “Let’s run away together.”
Hunter paused. “What?”
She scooted up on her arms. “Let’s run away. Go somewhere we don’t have to hide. Where we don’t have to keep our love a secret because of what my family or other people might think or say.”
“Blue, you’re not serious.”
“I am serious. Hunter, I love you. I want to be with you more than anything in the world.” She took his cheek in her palm, and he leaned into her touch. “I want to be able to be with you and to show the world that I love you with all my heart. I don’t want to keep on hiding like this.”
He placed his hand on top of hers and pressed it harder against his cheek. “I love you so much, Blue. Don’t tempt me into doing this, because you know I can’t say no to you.”
“Then don’t. Don’t say no.”
Hunter leaned forward and placed his hand behind her neck, pinning his gaze on hers. “I will never be able to give you what some other men can.”
“I don’t want other men. I want you.”
“Yet you deserve so much better than me.”
“Hunter Keaton.” She placed both her hands on his cheeks and those beautiful blue orbs seemed to look straight through his soul. “I am yours. You are all I want. I don’t care who says what. You have my heart, you have my soul, and no one can change that.”
“You need to be sure, Blue.”
“I am sure. I’ve never been more sure about anything in my life.”
He continued to stare at her, thinking about how damn awesome it would be to have her with him every second of every day. No more sneaking around and meeting privately. No more keeping their love a secret from the world. It would be a fucking dream come true. So the selfish bastard inside of him answered, “Okay.”
“Tomorrow?” Her face beamed with excitement, and Hunter’s heart swelled.
He nodded. “Tomorrow.”
She softly traced her thumb across his lips, and the way she stared at him almost had his heart exploding inside of his chest. “We can beat the odds, Hunter—you and I.” She pulled him down and kissed him softly. “Beat the odds with me, Hunter Keaton.”
