Out of Character by Annabeth Albert

Chapter Thirty-Four

Milo

There was a certain weird energy that the world took on after midnight. And I’d seen midnight enough to know, especially lately. Being in the game store this far after closing time was weird, especially as all the other downtown lights flickered off one by one, even the bars hitting closing time. Arthur’s bulk card haul had ended up being boxes and boxes of assorted cards in apparently random order, and we’d spent hours trying to make sense of them, taking over the private game room at the back of the store with our sorting.

“If I see another scroll card, I might scream.” Jasper, who usually was such a fountain of cheerfulness, sounded exhausted, and I rounded the table so I could rub his neck.

“You? Getting frustrated? Never.”

“Hey, you don’t have the market cornered on brooding and bad moods, you know.” He stretched into my touch like a cat demanding more. His funk was far faster to fade than the one I’d been fighting for days now.

“Sorry. I don’t mean to be so down.” I kept rubbing his neck because it felt like the least I could do since he was putting up with me and this seemingly endless quest for the lost cards.

“You’re going through a lot. I get it.” Of course he did because he was like the most understanding person ever, which simply made me feel guiltier.

“I don’t think I could be as nice as you,” I admitted. He was in all respects the better person, and I remained in awe that he’d decided to turn all his wonderfulness in my direction again.

“Many have tried. Few have succeeded.” He gave a regal nod, adopting his Frog Wizard persona for a beat, which earned a laugh from me.

“Goof.”

“You love it.” Moving away from my massage, he preened on his way back to his pile of cards.

“Maybe,” I said cagily. He’d never said it back the night before, so I wasn’t about to make another grand declaration right then while surrounded by piles of cards and Jasper’s boss being in and out of the room. This thing between us was still relatively new. Fragile. I understood why he probably wasn’t ready to say the words, but that didn’t make having been the one to blurt it out easier.

Jasper, though, was not deterred. “You do.”

Neither wanting to start an argument nor to put myself out there again, I tried to dodge my way out of that line of conversation, busying myself with my own sorting. “What I’d really love is to find one of the cards.”

“Or anything of value,” Jasper agreed as he separated out still more scroll cards. Unless they were a few select rare types, scrolls in Odyssey were penny cards, something experienced players bought in stacks to flesh out their deck. They might make the game go, but they were too common to offer much value to collectors. In the past few hours, I’d received quite the education on the types of rares and what cards actually fetched a decent price. And we’d uncovered precious few of those in this lot.

“I lost to this card in Philly.” Jasper held up a card. “But it’s a cheap common. Worthless unless it’s in the right deck. I’ll leave Arthur a buck for it, but it’s sad that that’s the best card I’ve seen in hours.”

“See? Even you’re discouraged.”

“Jasper? Giving up?” Jasper’s boss, an ex-military guy named Arthur who reminded me of some of Bruno’s buddies, came into the room. He had that same sort of intimidating attitude as the special forces types I’d met, but he did seem to have a soft spot for Jasper. “He never quits.”

“Thanks.” Jasper offered him a weary smile.

“I’m heading out soon.” Absently shuffling a stack of cards, Arthur rolled his neck. “I’m not up to all-nighters anymore.”

“You’re not that old,” Jasper teased because Arthur wasn’t Professor Tuttle’s age by any means. “I’m pretty sure there are some mountain ranges with a few years on you.”

“Ha. Can you and your boyfriend lock up when you’re done? Triple-check the alarm.”

“Okay, boss. Will do.” Jasper glanced at me, clearly expecting some objection from me at the label. But it wasn’t inaccurate. At least I hoped it wasn’t. And ever since coming out to James and Luther, I’d felt strangely at peace. I wanted to be brave, like the singers in the revue the night before. To that end, I simply nodded and told the fluttering in my stomach to behave.

“Sure thing.” I tried to project an air of trustworthiness to Arthur. “I’ll make sure he sets the alarm. Thanks for the sandwiches and coffee.”

Some hours earlier, after he’d seen the last customer out, Arthur had ordered Jasper to take a break and produced mugs of coffee and homemade sandwiches for us. I was starting to see why Jasper liked this little store so much. Arthur might be gruff, but he was kind, and the store was full of interesting displays and little treasures. It had a warmth that drew people in, and I appreciated that sort of hominess now more than ever.

Arthur pointed at my empty cup. “Glad someone appreciates my coffee.”

“Install a soda machine and I might be more impressed,” Jasper tossed back.

“Score me a stack of rares other than that Frog Court card you’ve got dibs on and I might consider it.”

The two of them were fun to watch, and I had to laugh. But I was also genuinely grateful to Arthur for letting us have this shot at one of the cards we needed. “Thanks, man.”

“No problem.” He gave Jasper a few more reminders before heading out.

As the back door shut, Jasper stretched and waggled his eyebrows at me. “Alone at last.”

“Us and a giant mess.” I gestured at the sloppy piles covering the table.

“Why don’t you put your urge to clean to good use?” Jasper suggested as he handed me some empty card boxes. “I’ll sort and you stack and put away.”

I did that, falling into a nice rhythm of straightening stacks and carefully labeling the boxes as Jasper directed. “This reminds me of sorting Legos together.”

He reached out across the table and ruffled my hair. “We make a good team.”

“We do.” Our eyes met, and I was debating whether we could get away with a break for making out when my phone buzzed with a message.

“It’s my mom,” I said as I scrolled down my list of alerts.

Concern flashing across his face, Jasper pursed his mouth. “Bruno news?”

“Yeah. Not bad. But he’ll be here next weekend. Next weekend. And Mom wants to make a big dinner.”

“And you’re worried about her cooking?” He did an exaggerated nervous expression, trying to earn a laugh, but this time it didn’t work.

“Everything else. It’s not enough time.”

“It’ll work out.” He came around the table to hug me, but even his warm presence at my back wasn’t enough to make my muscles relax.

“Says you.” My retort made him step back, and I regretted it immediately, turning so I could pull him to me again. “But thanks. I’m lucky to have you, no matter how this goes.”

“Maybe your luck is about to turn.” He pointed at a box on the floor. “Last case.”

“Okay. Maybe this is the good stuff.” I hefted it up and peered over his shoulder as he opened it up.

“Maybe. I’m crossing—”

“Fuck.” I didn’t let him finish the thought because I knew what I was seeing and it wasn’t good.

“More scrolls.” Even Jasper sounded beyond dejected. “Okay. Let’s actually dig. There might be something hiding.”

But there wasn’t. This wasn’t a treasure hunt, and there wasn’t some secret panel on the bottom of the box hiding a cache of rare cards. Jasper checked, even going so far as to turn each of the boxes upside down. Nothing.

“All right. This isn’t an utter disaster.” The way Jasper was wringing his hands said otherwise, right along with my stomach, which was making me regret those sandwiches. I popped two mints, but the sour feeling stayed.

“How so? Bruno’s home next weekend. I’m out of time.”

“We are not out of time.” He drew his shoulders back, the commanding leader who wrangled his cosplay group into shape making an appearance. “I’ll play George and—”

“I told you. I hate that idea.” I might really enjoy bossy Jasper, but not right then, and not about my life. I pushed away from the table and stalked to the other side of the small room. “And it’s not your call.”

“Actually, it kind of is.” Jasper followed after me. “It’s my ticket to the launch party. And it’s my need to help you. Let me help you.”

“Not like that.” A faded poster on the wall welcomed newcomers to Odyssey, mocking me.

“Okay. I think you’re being stubborn, but whatever.” Jasper slumped into one of the folding chairs. I hated how defeated he sounded and was about to rub his shoulder when he added, “Maybe the best thing is to own up to what happened to Bruno.”

“No. I can’t do that.” I took three steps backward, running into the wall. “I mean, here I am, life a mess again. Lost his cards. Lost my place to live—”

“But think about what you’ve gained.” Jasper turned in his chair, eyes boring into mine. And I wasn’t stupid. I knew what he meant. Self-respect. Ambition. Pride. Friends. Him. Definitely him and everything that included, every wonderful moment of the past few weeks. But none of that was going to matter. This wasn’t one of Jasper’s equations where one side balanced the other.

“He won’t see that.”

“You don’t know that.”

“Sure I do. He’s been a success at everything. School. Special forces. Every sport and game he’s tried. And me? I keep messing up. And now I’m a failure. Again.”

“Gee. Tell us how you really feel.” Jasper leaped out of his chair, took a step toward me, then apparently changed his mind and stomped to the other side of the table.

I held up both hands. “I didn’t mean that being with you is a failure.”

“No? Because it sure seems like you’re trying to punish yourself for being gay, chalking that up as one more black mark Bruno is going to hold against you.”

“He stood up for me. All the time with Dad.” I’d lost Dad, if I’d ever really had him. I’d lost James and Luther and a bunch of other pointless acquaintances. But I couldn’t lose Bruno too. I just couldn’t, and I needed Jasper to understand that. “He’d tell Dad to lay off me or he’d help me do my chores faster. And then when I had the accident—”

“I get it. He’s been there for you. And you did make a big mistake with the cards. Which is why I want to play George for you. If it’s that important to you that Bruno not know, let me do this for you. For us.”

The thought of him playing George filled me with such rage and shame. Stepping back and letting him do that for me was more than I could bear. My back tensed, every muscle rigid. Jasper was always so quick with the solutions, the genius right answers, and I loved that about him, but I also simply couldn’t stomach the thought of turning over my problems to him for the quick fix.

“This is my mess. I’ll sort it out. Somehow.”

“On your own,” Jasper said flatly.

“I need to.” I didn’t know how I could expect him to understand when I didn’t fully get it either, but fresh resolve drove me, like a pebble of an idea had started rolling and now it was a boulder and I couldn’t stop it. And what was worse, I didn’t know whether I should stop, whether my pride was about to trash what was left of my life or whether this was me making a long overdue stand.

“You came to me, you know. You asked me to help—”

“I know. And you’ve done so, so much. I can never repay you.” I crossed the distance between us, but his expression was guarded, eyes narrow, fists clenched.

“I don’t want repayment. I like helping you. It’s what friends do. And we’re friends, right?”

“More than. You know that.” I reached a hand toward him, but he didn’t take it.

“Do I? Because you’re not acting the most like it right now.”

“Sorry. It’s because we’re friends—boyfriends—that I don’t want you playing George. I don’t want you to have to rescue me.” I wasn’t the same guy who had walked into this game store all those weeks ago, and I needed to prove that to both of us. “I want to be the one protecting you sometimes too. And that includes from creeps.”

“Milo.” Jasper surprised me by touching my arm. “I don’t need protecting. I don’t. And you don’t have to handle this yourself.”

The air crackled, a charge sweeping through the room, reaching my stubborn brain. Handle. Yourself. And in that instant, I knew what I had to do, and maybe I’d known it all along because certainty settled over me like a heavy cloak.

“I think I know what I have to do.” But it wasn’t going to be easy, and as with most things, I didn’t want an audience. “I need to go.”

“Right now? Alone?” Jasper dropped his hand as his mouth went slack.

“I’ve got some stuff to work out in my head.” What I really needed was a long, cold walk to grant me clarity. I wasn’t like Jasper, human search engine for a brain, quick-firing neurons. I needed to think. Also I knew he’d try to talk me out of this plan before I even got it settled. “Trust me?”

“I’m trying.”

“Fair enough.” I grabbed my coat.

“Milo. I hope you’re not making a mistake,” he warned.

My heart galloped because I hoped that too. But if it was a mistake, it was going to be my own mistake. And it was Jasper who made me brave. I was finally, finally going to solve everything, and this was a chance I had to take.