You’re Still The One by Erika Kelly

Chapter Eleven

Griffin stompedhis boots on the snow-covered patio of the cabin. “You’ve got to be kidding me.” Of all the cabins in the Tetons, she’d brought him to this one?

“Nope.” Climbing off her snowmobile, Stella unbuckled her helmet and headed for the shed to turn on the generator. “Told you not to come with me.” She’d grumbled it to herself.

But he’d heard.

Griffin hadn’t been one of those people who’d always known what he wanted to do with his life. When his friends had headed down the hockey path, he’d gone with them. He was good at it, but he hadn’t loved it the way they had. He could’ve worked at the Inn—there’d always be a job for him there. But he’d preferred working for Mack after school and tinkering with Harleys.

So, when it came time to apply to college, his only criteria was that it was close enough to Calamity that he could come and visit Stella whenever missing her became too big to bear.

And when he’d gotten her text in the first semester of his sophomore year at USC, the decision to drop out had been simple.

Stella: Lulu’s got a serious boyfriend!

He’d packed up his truck and headed home. His first stop had been the Cavanaughs. He’d lifted Stella off her feet and planted a kiss on her mouth that his body remembered to this day. It was like plugging in the lights. His body had just blazed.

His second stop had been the Boneyard. He’d told Mack he wanted to work there full-time.

Third stop: right here. They weren’t going to risk interruptions at either of their homes or the Inn. And sex after a build up like that? It had been insane. They’d torn each other’s clothes off. He’d taken her against the wall, on the kitchen table, and in the shower.

And then, for Valentine’s Day—corny as it might’ve been—he’d arranged a whole weekend away with her here. He’d queued up movies, brought her favorite foods, and they’d hidden away, just the two of them.

It had been better than anything he’d ever experienced.

For a guy who didn’t have a whole lot to say to people, he’d found himself talking to her. Stella made everything easy. His friends used to call him “a broody fuck,” but he’d been downright playful around her. She’d brought out that side of him.

Thinking about it now, the way he’d always felt so desperate for her, so…complete…made it all come flooding back.

This is not good.

Well, fuck it.What could he do? He was here to help her get the place ready for use, so he’d get it done.

Unlocking the door, he let himself in. Sensation crept across his skin, and he felt a pull, a drag back in time. But he wouldn’t let himself go there.

He’d do what he did with everything else. He’d simply shut it down.

Stella came in, blowing into her clasped hands and stomping the snow off her boots onto the rubber mat. Their gazes locked, and tension billowed out so thick and fast it filled the space around them.

But then, as she always did, she broke out into a warm smile. “All right, let’s do this.” She swept past him and went into the kitchen. “With two of us, we’ll be out of here in no-time.” She pulled a dishtowel from a drawer and started dusting.

“I’ll take care of the water.”

“That’d be great. Thank you.” Was she avoiding eye contact?

He wouldn’t blame her. The memories took up so much space in this small cabin that it felt crowded. Right on that couch, they’d dozed like kittens, sprawled all over each other. She’d straddled him on that chair, her tits bouncing, her hair cascading down her back.

Shit, shit, shit.

Move. Get busy. He crossed the kitchen—completely upgraded since he’d last been here—and headed into the basement.

He turned on the valve, and the tank started rumbling. It belched out some trapped air, but then the flow of water started, so he climbed back up the wooden stairs.

Stella fluffed the pillows, her back to him, and he was pretty sure she was paying a little too much attention to the task.

“What else do you need me to do?” he asked.

“I’m going to put fresh sheets on the bed, so would you mind sweeping?”

“Sure.”

“I’ll come back on Friday and fill the propane tank, bring some fresh flowers. The toiletries look great, so…” She sounded tense, and it was killing him.

He touched her shoulder. “Hey.” Lightly, he put his hand on her lower back, but she probably couldn’t feel it through her down jacket.

She straightened, giving him a strained smile. “Of all the places, right?”

“Yeah. A lot of memories here.”

“With their kids in college, the Montroses were looking for rental income, so they bought up a bunch of cabins. Diane suggested pitching them on the website as remote honeymoon hideaways. You can’t believe how popular they are.”

“I believe it.” He brushed the hair off her cheek, and she gazed up at him.

The energy between them grew charged, the molecules heating, spinning out into a whirlwind of hunger and longing. His heart just felt so damn full, and he was overcome with this feeling of absolute rightness…us, together. Here. “You’re so beautiful.”

Color enflamed her cheeks, and she licked her lips. The intensity of her gaze stirred him into a frenzy of desire. No one had ever wanted him the way Stella did. His friends and brothers used to say their attraction had been fueled by the forbidden—because of their age difference and Lulu’s crush—but they were wrong.

When they could finally be together, their love had grown bigger and brighter. It had deepened, the passion never subsiding.

But he also saw wariness in her eyes. He’d told her he’d never trust her heart again. Did he mean it? At that moment, he couldn’t tell. He wanted her too much. “We really fucked things up.”

She went soft as if he’d said the exact right thing. “We did.”

“Why do you look relieved?”

“Because up until now, you’ve made me feel like it’s all my fault. But Griffin, I might’ve made the mistake of kissing Trace, but you made the mistake of throwing me away. If you’d just been some guy I’d been dating, it would’ve been okay. But you weren’t.”

“No, I wasn’t.”

“You were…everything. The love of my life. I couldn’t see a future that didn’t have you in it. You have to understand how—”

He gripped her elbows. “I do. I do understand because I felt the same way. You don’t know how hard I beat myself up after you left. For months, I couldn’t sleep. I couldn’t eat. All I could think about is why I’d done that. Why would I break up with the only woman I’ll ever love? It killed me.”

“Let’s not do this.” She brushed the hair off his forehead and turned away. “Not here.” She got busy again, flipping the cushion of a leather club chair. Pulling sheets from the linen closet, she tossed them on the bench at the foot of the bed.

The whole time he watched her, he tried to find the words she needed to hear. He didn’t know how to explain how he’d felt back then, but he knew he had to. “I…” You what? He sat on the arm of the chair, letting himself remember those days after she’d kissed her sister’s fiancé. And there was only one response that he could name. “I couldn’t control you.”

She’d tossed the pillows off the bed, hugging one to her stomach.

“And it scared me.”

She waited for more.

“The closer we got to the wedding, the more worked up you got.” He rubbed his jaw. “I could see you were headed for disaster, and I couldn’t stop you. You wouldn’t listen. And that night, you kept drinking. You got more and more determined to make Lulu see the truth. You were on this path of destruction, and I felt out of control. I wanted to stop you before things blew up, but I couldn’t.”

Setting the pillow down, she shrugged off her coat and tossed it on the bed. “I remember feeling so…panicked. Lulu wouldn’t listen to me, and I just…if I didn’t stop her, it would be the end of the world. I’d built it up to be this crazy, huge thing.”

“Right, and then you got this look in your eye, and I knew…my gut told me you were going to do something terrible. I got so…I don’t know how to explain it.”

“Try.”

He gave her a curt nod. She needed this. Maybe they both did. “I was sweating, my heart beating so fast I thought I’d have a heart attack. I lost sight of you, and that flipped me the fuck out because I knew you were doing something bad, something you couldn’t come back from.” Like he’d done with Booker. “And then Lulu’s face. Fuck.” He lowered his head, remembering her sister’s expression. “You didn’t see it because you were across the room. But your sister was…to say she was devastated doesn’t do it justice.”

Her features crumpled in pain.

“I’m not saying it to make you feel bad.”

“I know. Go on.”

“And then I looked—we all looked—across the room. And there you were, against the wall, Trace’s hands on your ass, and you were kissing him.”

She closed her eyes. “I’m sorry.”

“My instinct should’ve been to run over there, jump over tables, knock people down, and tear you from him. But I wasn’t jealous. I knew you weren’t cheating on me. I didn’t feel betrayed. I felt like…”

“Like what?”

“Well, it wasn’t even a year after the accident.” He still had nightmares about that night, of watching Booker hit the ground, right there in front of him. “And I couldn’t stand feeling out of control…that kind of…recklessness. That’s the only way I can think to describe it. I just couldn’t handle it.”

“I want to say I understand, but I don’t. I’m not like your friends. I didn’t wear batsuits or go BASE jumping. I don’t see myself as dangerous. But I guess it doesn’t have to be physical. It can be emotional, too.” She looked so damn defeated. “I can see that I’m still doing it, making you feel unsafe. I show up out of the blue and make myself your fake fiancée, and now you’re renting a house you never wanted.” She turned away from him, yanking back the blanket and sheet. “You should probably start sweeping.”

“Yeah. Sure.” He found a broom in the pantry and got to work, feeling unsettled and uneasy.

“Have you dated anyone?”

“What? How did we go from talking about that night to me dating?”

“I’m making conversation.”

“Well, find another topic. I’m not talking about other women with you.”

“It’s not that big of a deal. It’s been seven years.”

“Fine. Sure, I’ve been on dates.”

“Did you fall in love?” She stripped off the bottom sheet. “Have you had a girlfriend?”

“No, Stella. That’s not going to happen for me.”

“So, what, you’re just going to be alone the rest of your life?”

Watching her in that soft cashmere sweater, the sunlight streaming in through the windows and accentuating those big, round breasts was making him crazy. “I don’t know. I don’t really think about it. I like my job. I have good friends, family…”

“Oh, come on. Everyone needs love. Even the bad boy biker who takes such good care of everyone around him.”

Uncomfortable, he turned away and did an outstanding job of sweeping. He even shoved the chair aside to get the dust underneath it.

Because he already had love. Nothing had changed for him.

The room had gone quiet. No more shaking out sheets or lifting the mattress. He stopped what he was doing to find her watching him. “What?”

“You did fall in love.” The sadness in her eyes gutted him. “Who was she?”

He went back to sweeping, but since there was no more dust, he nudged the chair back in place.

“You can tell me. I won’t fall apart. It’s…of course you’ve had relationships.” Despite her words, her voice had gone thick with emotion.

“No girlfriends.”

“You’re lying to me right now.” She sat on the edge of the bed. “You really loved her. God, and you made me feel so bad about Logan.”

Anger flared, igniting. “No, Stella, I don’t work like that.”

“Like what?” She shook her head. “Are we doing this again? Where you tell me how flighty I am? How easily I fall in and out of love? I told you I didn’t love him.”

“Okay.”

She crossed over to him. “Not ‘okay.’ You’ve got something to say, say it.”

“There’s a storm coming. Let’s get this done and get out of here.”

“No, Griffin. You don’t get to drop something like ‘I don’t work like that.’ Because it makes me sound cheap and shallow compared to you. And I’m neither of those things.”

“I know you’re not. But if you think I could love someone else after what we had, then you don’t know me at all.”

She watched him for a moment like she was processing. “I do know you.” She said it like a revelation. Her features cleared of worry, her shoulders went back, and she looked…happy. Pure joy lit her eyes. “Your love is constant. You…You still love me.” She reeled away from him, a hand on her forehead. “Oh, my God. All this time, I could have had you. You still loved me. I could’ve been here with you instead of alone and scared and…I was so sad, Griffin, thinking I’d lost you forever.”

“I don’t know that we can be together, but I do know everything I felt for you is still here.” He touched his chest. “There’s no room for someone else.”

“Griffin.” Tears brimmed, and she looked almost desperate. “You have to believe me. I didn’t love Logan. I don’t know what you saw in those pictures, but I can tell you what I felt. I was frantic. There was a part of me that knew the marriage was all wrong, but I was so scared. You have to believe me. I have only ever loved you, but I thought I’d lost you. Forever.”

He didn’t answer because for some reason, her scent became more pronounced, the glossiness of her hair more distinct, and the amber in her eyes had turned molten. And if he stood this close to her much longer, he’d lose control.

That wasn’t something he could afford to do. Austin was his highest priority, and he couldn’t fall back into the high drama that would always be part of a relationship with Stella . His figures curled around the broom handle, and he swept so hard it smacked against the coffee table.

His body had gone hot and needy, and his every instinct was to toss aside all his concerns and just fucking be with his woman.

“No, sir.” She grabbed his arm and jerked him back around. “This conversation isn’t over. I want to know how you can love me the way you say you do and yet keep your distance? Because it’s killing me. Do you understand what I’m saying? It kills me to be in the same room with you and not be yours. And you just told me it’s the same for you. Am I wrong? Am I only hearing what I want to hear?”

“Jesus fuck, Stella. What do you want me to say?”

“I want you to say that you know me. You know my heart. I want you to say you can let it all go and just be with me.”

And the friction of his heart constantly grinding against his fears finally erupted into flames, so when she opened her arms, when she made that first step toward him, he lost it.

He hauled her up against him and wrapped her in his arms. Their mouths met, tongues seeking, falling into a rhythm of desperate, urgent need.

All the work he’d done to keep his distance, every excuse he’d come up with to keep her out, went up in flames with the scorching release of suppressed desire. His hands slid down her back, resting on the rise of her ass. He had one second of clarity to stop this, to walk away, to get back on their snowmobiles and head home.

But need enveloped him, and he was gone. He cupped that fleshy ass and hauled her up against him. She let out a cry, as she shifted her hips restlessly over his hard cock.

When her hands pushed under his shirt, finally touching skin, gliding up his stomach, he went electric. Starved for this woman’s touch, his body trembled. He couldn’t resist her anymore. He didn’t want to.

No one’s touch lit him up the way hers did.

She hitched a leg up to press closer, and he caught it under her knee, grinding his aching cock right at the apex of her thighs. She slid a hand beneath the waistband of his jeans, and her fingers brushed the crown of his cock.

His body jerked, fireworks exploding in his chest. Lifting her, he carried her to the bed, holding her close as he lowered them both. Her legs spread for him, welcoming him, and he settled between them. Between her fingers gripping his hair, her tongue tangling with his, and her smooth, sweetly scented skin, he was lost, drowning in everything Stella.

She reached between them, fingers fumbling with his buttons, and the moment she popped them open, she grasped his hard cock. He nearly jumped out of his skin. Surging into her hand, he murmured in her ear, “Let go, or this is going to be over before it starts.”

Lifting her sweater, he helped ease it over her head. Then, his hands were on her breasts, pushing them together. He kissed the mounds spilling out of the lacey cups. She’d always loved her fancy lingerie.

“Everything about you is sexy.” Peeling back the cups, he licked her nipples. “The way you walk, your laugh, the way you make everyone you meet feel special. You’re magic, Stella. And when I’m with you, I feel…”

She reached underneath to unclasp her bra, and she quickly tugged down the straps and sent it sailing. When he sucked her nipple into his mouth, she arched her back, and her fingers scraped across his scalp.

“You feel what?” The words came out broken, breathy.

“Alive. When I’m with you, everything tastes better, smells better…feels better. You…” How did he explain it? “Amplify everything.”

Pressing a trail of hot kisses all the way down her stomach, he sat back on his heels to peel off her jeans and panties, casting them aside. Pushing her thighs open, he licked inside her slick heat. She cried out, and then he gave her deep, lush kisses that made her back arch off the mattress.

He loved the way she responded to him. Stella abandoned herself to sex.

Had she done that with Logan?

The idea coldcocked him, sending a stinging jolt through his body. He shut down the train of thought. Couldn’t go there. Not when he finally had her.

His tongue circled her clit, lavished it with attention, while he slid two fingers inside. He lost his sense of time and place, enclosed in the bubble of space meant only for him and his woman. Affection, desire, need slammed him all at once, making him wild.

“Oh, my God, Griffin.” She planted her feet on the mattress, gripped the back of his head, and ground against him.

His tongue swirled faster, pressed harder, and he reached for her breast. He knew how sensitive her nipples were, so he caressed, then pinched them.

She cried out, her body writhing, and he stayed with her while she rode out her release. He’d never seen anything more beautiful than Stella losing herself to pleasure.

Collapsing onto the bed, she sighed and pushed the hair off her damp forehead. “Holy mother of God. You wrecked me. Either you’ve had a lot of practice, or it’s just been a really long time since I got laid.”

He barked out a laugh, giving her legs a playful shove, before settling beside her.

“Give me a minute to bask in the afterglow, and then I’ll—” she began.

His phone buzzed. With his jeans on the floor next to her, he said, “Grab it. In case it’s Austin.”

She rolled to her side, and he could hear the rustle of clothes. “It is.” She handed it over.

Accepting the call, he sat up. “Hey, man. Everything all right?”

“Can you come get me?” Austin sounded tense.

“Yeah, of course.” Griffin glanced out the window. It was snowing hard but nothing he couldn’t handle. “Everything all right?”

“I guess.”

Tell me. He waited, but damn, the energy was rolling through him hard.

“They have all these plans for me in the morning, and I just want to come home.”

“What kind of plans?”

“They’re taking me shopping.” He lowered his voice. “And to get a haircut.”

“Okay, well, you turn fifteen in a few weeks. You can say no. Just tell them, No, thank you. I appreciate it, but I have enough clothes. Tell them your hair is fine the way it is. They can’t just come at you with scissors.”

“You don’t know what it’s like. When they want me to do something, it becomes this whole campaign. They make fun of me. They get their friends in on it, so everyone’s telling me I look like a hippie or whatever.”

“Yeah, well, they’re idiots.” Griffin was off the bed and rounding it to get to his clothes. He’d never spoken badly of the Pilsons before, but they were not going to bully him into cutting his hair. “I’m on my way. I’m up the mountain, so it’ll take me about an hour to get there. Is that okay?”

“It’s good. That way I can eat dinner with them. I just don’t want to spend the night.”

By the time he’d disconnected, Stella was already dressed. He really fucking loved that about her. She didn’t know the situation, but she was down for the mission to extract Austin from the enemy camp.

Grabbing her boots, she sat on the couch. “What’s going on?”

“They’re taking him shopping and getting him a haircut in the morning, and he doesn’t want to be there.”

She tied her laces. “Will they mind you picking him up?”

“I’m sure they will.”

“Just tell them one of the guys bailed on you, so we need his help moving tomorrow.” With a grin, she lifted her eyebrows.

Austin was spending the night so Griffin and his friends could get them settled into the new rental house. He stood, shaking his head. “Should I be worried that you come up with lies so easily?”

She got up and faced him. “I was in PR for seven years, and my job was to spin bad situations into harmless ones. So, you can tell them he’s bailing because he doesn’t want them cutting his hair and inflate their anger and control issues, or you can spin the truth so that Austin suffers the fewest consequences.”

“What if I don’t say anything?” He smiled, sifting his fingers through her tousled hair.

“Then they’ll be resentful and try to spend more time with him.”

She was right. “You’re a bad influence on me.”

“Oh, please.” She headed to the dining room table to grab her jacket. “I’m the best thing that ever happened to you.”