You’re Still The One by Erika Kelly

Chapter Nine

As soon asthey got into the truck, Stella peered through the windshield at the house they’d just toured on Blossom Lane. “I love it. It’s absolutely perfect.”

They’d seen five so far—and since Griffin wouldn’t even consider buying, they were all rentals. He was still insisting on moving back into his apartment over the shop once Peyton came back.

So stubborn.

What had she ever seen in him? Buckling in, she glanced over. He’d shoved the long sleeves of his blue Henley up to his elbows, exposing the inked, muscular forearms that flexed as he backed out of the driveway.

His dark, silky hair brushed his collar, and with his elbow propped on the windowsill, he ran a finger over the top of his sexy mouth. Always so thoughtful, always so intense.

Stella squirmed, looking away. She knew exactly what she’d seen in him. He was good, kind, honest, loyal. He was gorgeous and had a better body than most of the athletes she’d worked with.

But it was something about their connection. She’d met a lot of hot guys in her life—had worked with pro football players, for God’s sake—but no one had ever lit her up the way Griffin did. “I think you should grab it.”

“Maybe.”

“Well, there are literally only five rentals in this entire town, and that was the best.”

“It’s ski season, and the only reason they’re on the market is because of the price. They want way too much.”

“You can’t put a price on Austin’s stability. I really think it’ll change things for him.”

“Yeah, I get that.”

See?That willingness to concede? She loved that about him. He didn’t have some big ego. He was reasonable, and she knew he truly wanted to do what was best for Austin.

As they headed back to the highway, she thought about the stupid way they’d ended their talk the other day.

We’re not right for each other.

Okay, bye.

Yeah, she didn’t think so. That just wasn’t going to fly.

He thinks he can’t trust me because my feelings are shallow. That I can love him one day, and Logan the next.

If she’d seen pictures of him on his honeymoon, she’d feel the same way.

Just the thought of it made her hurt.

But she wasn’t going to give up that easily. Because she finally had a pathway forward. Now that she knew what held him back, she’d show him her feelings were constant, real. Deep.

Griffin was worth fighting for. “You seem lost in thought. Anything on your mind?”

“Just thinking it through.” He tugged on his scruff. “It is pretty sketchy to live in a hotel. If Austin wanted to have friends over, their parents might not want their kid going to a single dude’s hotel room.”

“Ew. When you put it that way.” She smiled.

“And it’ll change the Pilsons perception of me, push them to see me as a responsible adult. So, yeah, okay. I’ll take this one.”

He was such a good guy, always thinking about other people, but…

Who took care of him?

I want to. I want to have his coffee waiting for him when he gets out of the shower. I want to leave the book he’s dying to read on his nightstand.

I want to be the one who gets to offer him comfort and love. I want to be the source of his comfort and love.

And she couldn’t do that when she posed as big of a threat to him as Austin’s grandparents. With the lies that kept popping out of her mouth, she kept him on edge. If she wanted him—and she did. God, did she want him. Then, she’d have to think before speaking, talk to him about her ideas first. It didn’t seem too much to ask.

“Do you want me to call and tell them?” she asked. “Before they give it to someone else?”

“I’ll call after I drop you off. We’re almost there.”

Her stomach squeezed. As much as she wanted to see her parents, she dreaded it. They’d forgive her. She knew that. It was more that she’d missed out on seven years of their lives.

How selfish is that?

You don’t do that to family.

They’d had health scares and crises, weddings and babies. They’d lived through big things, and she’d never checked in on them. “I’m a terrible person.”

“What?” He whipped around to her. “No, you’re not.”

“I am. God, I feel sick.”

“Hey.” He reached for her hand. “No, don’t do this. Your parents are excited to see you. They’re happy you’re home.”

“Can I live in the house with you and Austin?”

“What? Where did that come from?”

“You know it’s the first thing they’re going to ask me. ‘Where are you staying?’ I’ve been here two weeks, and my free hotel room and car rental are up. They’re going to tell me to move in with them, and I can’t do that. I don’t want to do that. We’ve just seen the rental situation. I can’t afford anything during ski season on my salary. And you’ve got that cute carriage house. It’s furnished…please?”

“Absolutely not.” He accelerated, features going tense. “Why would you want to? Your parents have a guest house, too.”

“I’m not living with my parents.”

“Then live in Gigi’s house. It’s football season. They won’t be back till January.”

“Oh, come on. You know she comes and goes. She wants to wake up late, blast music, and jam in her studio. Eat cereal at the sink in her underwear.”

“Do you eat cereal at the sink in your underwear?”

“Pretty sure you already know the answer to that.”

For one hot second, they held a gaze, remembering how many times he’d come up behind her in the cabin, wrapped his arms around her, and nuzzled her neck. She’d set the bowl down and turned in his arms.

“You still like Golden Grahams?” he asked.

“I’m obsessed with it.”

He cracked a grin before turning his attention back to the road. “I don’t know why you’d want to live with us anyway.”

“I want to live in the carriage house because it’s furnished and affordable. You should want me to live with you because I’m fun.”

“We don’t need fun. We’re just fine.”

“Thank you for making my point. Your Friday night pizza delivery is the very definition of fine.” She raised her arms. “Woo hoo, pizza…again.”

He smirked. “I don’t do pizza every Friday night.”

She stared at him until the corner of his mouth turned up.

“There’s nothing wrong with pizza. Austin likes it.”

“You know what else is fine? Him playing video games while you read a book. Now, there’s a wild night in the James hotel room. You know what’s way more than fine?”

“Anything with you in it?”

Her smile burst from deep within, shooting glitter out to her entire body. “Taco night is fun. Sunday night ice cream sundaes? Now, that’s ballin’. Karaoke while cooking? The bomb. And I can deliver all of that. Now, which do you want? Fine or fun?”

“Stella, you’re not moving in with me.”

“I didn’t ask you that. I asked if I can crash in your carriage house until I save up enough to afford my own place. Besides, we’re engaged. We’re buying a house together…it makes sense. And then when you need me to play the happy fiancée, I can come right over. Unless…” Oh, God, it had never even occurred to her until just now.

“Unless what?”

“Well, if you don’t want me to see what you’re doing…” That would explain his reluctance.

“What I’m doing? Like taking out the garbage? Getting the mail?”

“No, you know, with women. I’m sure you get your needs taken care of after Austin goes to sleep or when he visits his grandparents.”

“My needs?” He shook his head before shock froze his features. “Wait, are you going to bring guys home?”

“Turn.” She waved frantically.

Gripping the wheel, he made a hard left into her parent’s driveway.

With a hand to her thundering heart, she said, “Griffin.”

“Sorry. You distracted me with the parade of men coming in and out of my guest house.”

“I’m not…” She made a tsk sound with her tongue. “Do you know how many hours I work? I’m running a wedding planning business by myself. The rest of the time, I’m planning ice cream sundae parties for poor Austin who has to live with a boring roommate. Now, can I move in or not?”

“You always get your way, so I don’t know why you even ask.”

She hid her smile. She did, didn’t she? “I don’t always.” But as they reached the gate, Stella’s good mood got swallowed up by anxiety. “What’s that? Why would they get a new gate?” The old wrought iron one had been original to the property when it was a working ranch eighty years ago. This new one was made of glossy wood. Her parents loved the history here, so she couldn’t imagine why they’d remove one of the most fundamental pieces.

See, this is how much I missed.

“Do you think someone rammed the gate? You don’t think someone tried to break in, do you?”

He braked and reached for the intercom button. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.” Once it swung open, he drove through.

“My parents would never get rid of the original ranch gate unless there was a reason.”

“And it has to be a bad one?”

“There’s no good reason to get rid of a historic gate.”

“Maybe it’s in a museum.”

“The museum of broken gates?” Although that wasn’t as ridiculous as it sounded. Antiques, history…it was a big deal in Calamity.

“Do you remember Callie Belle?”

“Of course. She and Fin were my dream couple.” She’d always wanted that kind of love. Instead, she’d hidden her feelings so she wouldn’t hurt her sister.

“She created a museum. Well, she calls it an exhibition.”

“Of broken gates?” She grinned.

“The Exhibition of Broken Hearts. Turned out to be a big hit. Her next one’s Ghosts of the Past. She’s invited everyone in the county to donate their historical artifacts.”

“That sounds amazing.”

He slowed in the horseshoe-shaped driveway and braked.

Seeing her childhood home for the first time in so many years…it was like taking a step in the dark and finding nothing but air. She was in freefall, completely disoriented.

“You okay?” He jerked the gearshift into Park.

Her stomach churned. “No.” She looked beyond to the sage meadow surrounding her parent’s property, the Teton Mountains jutting from the earth and presenting a striking backdrop. How could something feel so familiar and yet so foreign at the same time?

“Talk to me.” He shifted toward her. “What’re you thinking?”

“I stayed away too long, so now it’s become this big thing. If I’d called, texted, emailed…if I’d sent a freaking postcard, this wouldn’t be so bad.”

“Why didn’t you?” He said it kindly, and she appreciated that.

“I think the longer I was gone, the harder it was to reach out.” But that’s not the real reason, is it? “I missed everyone so much, and I was so sorry about what I’d done, but…” She shook her head, letting out a bitter laugh. “I got married. And it felt like I kept making a bigger and bigger mess of my life. I wasn’t proud of anything, so why would I talk to them? ‘Hey, guys, it’s me. Living the life in Dallas as a lonely divorcée. Yep, killing it out here on my own.’”

“That’s when you needed them the most.”

Them. He’d excluded himself.

When all along, she’d needed him the most.

“Any time I found myself reaching for my phone to see what my sisters were doing or if I wanted to share good news with my parents, I remembered how long it had been since I’d talked to them, and it seemed selfish. So, I just kept coming up with excuses to put it off. And now…” She tipped her chin to the house. “I’m sitting here completely freaked out to go inside my childhood home.”

“You want me to go in with you?”

Was it possible to love this man even more than she already did? She didn’t think so. “You’re amazing. But no, I have to do this alone. Thank you, though.”

He sifted his fingers through her hair. And then his fist closed, and he shifted toward her. “You make it impossible not to kiss you—your honesty, your courage, the way you own your problems.” He gently tugged, tipped her head back, and desire rocketed through her. “I’m starting to think you actually might’ve missed me the same way I missed you.”

“That’s what I’ve been trying to tell you.” She gave him a teasing grin, but with the heat in his eyes, his gaze riveted on her mouth, and the tension in her scalp as pure evidence of what he wanted to do to her, the humor faded.

And then he kissed her. She opened to him right away, wanting him, all of him, and she sucked his tongue into her mouth. His hand went to the back of her neck as if to make sure she stayed right where she was.

She wasn’t going anywhere. She wanted to live in his scent, in this lush kiss that hinted at the barely restrained desire rumbling under the surface. She wanted to kick down the barriers, let out the carnal man who took what he wanted.

And he’d always wanted her.

Her phone buzzed, startling them apart.

Mom: Are you coming in?

Stella: Yes. One second.

Dragging her purse from the footwell, Stella pulled out her make-up bag and reapplied her lipstick. But her hand was shaking, so she only swiped her lips and pressed them together. Recapping the tube, she tossed it back into the bag.

“Why do I feel sixteen again?” Smoothing her hair, she rested her hand on the spot that still vibrated from his touch. She wanted more. She would always want more from him. “Do you remember that day Mr. Ramirez called the police on us, and we all scattered—”

“And you and I wound up alone in that cabin? Yes, Stella. Of course, I remember. I finally had you all to myself, and yet I couldn’t touch you.”

“Yeah, but it was the best, wasn’t it? Just the two of us?” The energy between them had been wild and electric. They’d had so much fun.

The muscle in his jaw popped. “Yeah. It was.”

“And then my dad called. And he might as well have burst into the room. I’ll never forget that feeling. Busted.” Her smile faltered, as she looked to the house made of wood, river stone, and glass, set on acres of sage meadow. “Well, this is it. Thanks for driving me.”

“I can come in, tell them I need to use the bathroom?”

“You’d lie for me?” She held a hand over her heart, pretending to be touched.

“Considering I’m engaged and moving into a new house…yeah, I’d say so.”

She smacked his arm. “Hey, I thought you were trying to make me feel better? But, no, I’ve got this. Thanks.”

“You’re returning the rental car tomorrow. Want to hit the dealership in Jackson?”

“I was thinking I’d buy one of your custom bikes.”

A slow smile spread across his handsome features. “I can’t think of anything sexier than you straddling a Harley in your high heels and leather pants. But since it’s winter, we’ll put a hold on fulfilling my fantasies.”

“I didn’t know there were more to be fulfilled?”

The grin widened. “I only had you for eighteen months. Not even close to running out of them.”

She kept her smile in place, but she was confused. Had their conversation the other night enabled him to relax around her, now that getting back together was off the table?

Or was he softening toward her?

She couldn’t begin to read his mind, and now wasn’t the time anyway, so she reached for the handle. “Yeah, sure, let’s buy me a car.”

“Remember the Crosby brothers? They opened a dealership, and they’ll give you a good deal on an SUV. Big enough to cart around all the wedding shit.”

“Sounds good. I’ll make some time tomorrow to get over there.”

“If it’s possible, shoot for after school. I like taking Austin with me for things like that, so he learns about negotiating, changing a flat, filling the truck with gas. That kind of thing.”

“That’s really nice. And while we’re out, we can get him pants, gloves, a snowboard and all that stuff.”

He shook his head. “You’re an unstoppable force.”

“Of good, right?”

And there it was—that connection—that arc of electricity between them. There was nothing like it in the world.

“Nearly all good.” He gave a shrug of his eyebrows. “Ninety-nine percent good.”

“Actually, if you track all the decisions I’ve made over a lifetime, there’ve only been three whammies—the kiss, the elopement, and the fake engagement—so, that makes it more like ninety-nine-point-nine-percent.”

His grin widened. “Okay, I’ll—”

Someone tapped on the window, and Stella startled. Her mom stood there with a big smile.

And the world stopped spinning.

Mom.

Every wall she’d built to be strong, to handle what life threw at her, to make all her own decisions and navigate the consequences by herself, crumbled, leaving nothing but deep, profound regret that she’d lost so much time with the people who mattered most.

Her mom read the anxiety flowing through Stella, and her smile wilted.

Nothing was her parent’s fault, so she turned back to Griffin. “Bye.”

He must’ve seen the anxiety in her eyes because he put his hand on hers. “Let me pick you up, okay? Text me, and I can be here in ten minutes.”

Her mom pulled the door open, letting in cold air. “You coming in, Griffin?”

“No, I’m just dropping her off.”

Her mom looked between them, as though trying to figure out the relationship. And then her gaze settled on the diamond sparkling on Stella’s left ring finger. Her eyes went wide, and she straightened, backing right into Stella’s dad. “You’re engaged?”