You’re Still The One by Erika Kelly
Chapter Sixteen
They both stilled,listening.
“He’s good.” She looked to Griffin, who nodded. “He’s really coming into his own, you know? I wish he didn’t have to spend Thanksgiving with them.”
He set his book on the coffee table. “You can see how much he’s dreading it.”
“I hate the way he accepts these awful things. I want him to know life can be anything he wants it to be. That if he uses his voice, if he goes after what he wants, he can be happy.”
“And I think life’s a balance. It’s not just about what makes you happy. It’s about meeting your obligations. He thinks he has to spend time with his grandparents. And who knows? Maybe there’s a small part of him that wants a connection to his mom.”
She kissed his cheek, running her fingers through the scruff. “You’re a smart man. I never thought of it that way, but I’ll bet you’re right. He has to be curious about this woman who gave birth to him and walked away.”
Griffin lifted his arm and wrapped it around her. She loved the way he always had his hands on her. He seemed to unconsciously need her tucked in close. The sense of belonging, of being wanted…she got it all with him.
There’s nothing like it in the world.
Austin didn’t have that. And she really, really needed him to find it. “I’ll be right back.” She got up.
“Where’re you going?”
“I’m just going to talk to him.” She didn’t have anything specific to say. She just needed to see him, give him a smile, let him know he was loved.
“Okay.”
Wait. He was just going to let her go? One hand on the banister, she stopped and turned to him. “Thank you.”
“For what?”
“For trusting me to talk to him. For all you know, I could throw some wild-ass idea at him that’ll make him run off and join the circus.”
He grinned. “You’re in his corner, and he needs that. He’s damn lucky to have you care about him.”
As she started up the stairs, she heard, “Like I could stop your wild-ass ideas anyway.”
She stuck her tongue out at him and continued climbing. But she felt good. Really good. He accepted her, and that made her breathe a little easier.
When she reached Austin’s room, she stood outside his door and listened.
Savannah, I wanna, I gotta,
I’m gonna be your man
Savannah, my only, my truly,
I’m your number one fan
Oh, oh, oh, life is fine when you’re on my mind
Oh, oh, oh, wherever I look you’re who I find
Okay, what in the world? Mr. Broody wrote a pop song?Well, not pop. It had an indie-rock edge, but it was pretty lively.
And who’s Savannah?She thought he didn’t have any friends at school. She knocked, and the strumming stopped. “Austin?”
“What?”
“Can I come in?”
She heard a rustling sound, and then he said, “Fine.”
When she entered, she found him putting the guitar back in its case.
He glanced up at her. “What?”
She loved everything about this bedroom. The cheerful navy, white, and yellow comforter, the sturdy wooden frame of the bed, the interesting shade of blue on the walls. And the window facing the mountain had a spectacular view. “Hey, so, I was wondering if you wanted to get a gift for your dad for the holidays.”
“What do you mean?”
“Maybe after school tomorrow, we could stop by the holiday market in Wolff Village and get him some things. I’m not sure what he’s into, but we could just put together a care package.”
He perked up. “I want to do that.”
“Cool. What’s your dad into?”
“What do they sell?”
“Like candles and jewelry and knit hats and scarves and…” His disinterest had her petering out. “Yeah, nothing a soldier would be into. Oh, you know what?” She’d barely talked to Coco since she’d come home. Her sister had texted to say, I heard you’re in town??? What’s up with that? And Stella had promised to visit her, but she hadn’t done it yet. “My sister owns a chocolate shop. We could buy a big box from her. Would he like that?”
“Yes.”
“What if we got enough for everyone in his bunk or unit or whatever?” By his expression, she knew she’d hit on a winning idea.
The only reason she’d held off seeing Coco was because her sister had gotten married and had two babies, and Stella didn’t know where to begin, having missed out on so much in her life.
But Coco was the least intimidating person in her family, so she was just making excuses.
That all changes now.
“So, you’ll go with me?”
He nodded.
She was glad he wanted to go with her, but…a little worried about just showing up and surprising her sister. Should she call first?
See, that’s the whole thing.When you don’t talk to people for seven years, it’s hard just to pick up the phone. Though, with Coco, it would probably be all right.
Funny how Stella could be bold in all other areas of her life, but when it came to confronting her family, she folded like a cheap T-shirt.
“Cool. We’ll go tomorrow after school.” Oh, wait. What time was she meeting the Taylors? “Just get off the bus at the office. I’ve got a meeting at two-thirty, but we can leave right after.”
He hunched a shoulder. Sure.
Stella rolled her eyes. “You’re just like your uncle. Man of few words. Hey, I couldn’t help overhearing that song you were playing. It’s really good. Who wrote it?”
“Me.” He looked away.
“Sweetie, I’m not kidding when I tell you it was fantastic. I’d buy that song if I heard it playing somewhere.”
Color spread across his cheeks.
“Griffin said your dad used to play guitar, and that he gave you his before he left for his first deployment.”
“Yeah.” Anger sparked in his eyes.
“It makes me so angry that your grandfather broke it.”
“He drove over it.”
“That’s horrible. He had no right to do that. I mean, it’s their house. They have their own rules, and if they don’t want you playing guitar, that’s just how it goes. But they didn’t have to destroy it. Did you tell them how angry you were?”
“No, he was angry at me.”
Ah, so there’s no room for anyone else’s emotions in that family. Got it.
“Well, here’s the thing. We’re here, so if anything like that goes down or is about to go down, text us, and we’ll come right over.”
He watched her for a moment, his expression guarded, almost like he didn’t believe he could rely on them.
She moved closer, so he’d look at her, hear her. “I’m serious. They live fifteen minutes from us. One text, and we’re on our way.” She couldn’t tell for sure, but he might’ve gotten a little bit of comfort from that. “And you don’t have to go for the whole weekend, you know. I know that’s what they expect, but we can pick you up earlier. It’s truly up to you.”
“No. It’s fine.”
“Well, I don’t know about you, but fine has never cut it for me. I guess I’m one of those people who thinks every choice matters. And the thing is, what you want matters. Every bit as much as what your grandparents want. I guess I just want you to know that you have a say in where you go and what you do.”
He wouldn’t budge—she could see that—but she did have an idea that might give him something to look forward to. “So, I was going to wait until your birthday to give you this present, but now that I’ve heard your song, I’ll tell you now. My sister—you know Gigi Cavanaugh, right? She used to be a Lollipop?”
“That’s your sister?”
“Yep. And she’s offered to give you guitar lessons.” Oh, oh, oh. “Wait, do they still do the Holiday Musicale? I graduated seven years ago, so I don’t even know if it’s still a thing.”
“It is. There are signs up all over school.”
“What do you think?”
“I’m not performing.”
She had to smile at his curtness. Because she knew the richness that lay beneath the hard surface. And it had become her goal to crack it wide open. “Not even if Gigi did it with you?” Oh, man, had she just offered up her sister’s services without asking? Yes, yes, I did. “She’ll be here for Thanksgiving. She could give you your first lesson, and you could work on a song for the show.”
“She’d do a song with me?”
“Yes.”
“Why would she do that? I’m nobody.”
“I don’t even know how to answer that. You’re somebody special to a lot of people, but in this situation, you’re my somebody, and my sister just happens to want to give you guitar lessons. And since you’re a seriously amazing singer and songwriter, I think you should go for it.” Okay, she’d planted the seed. Time to go. As she headed for the door, she said, “Think about it. Rehearsing a duet for the Musicale with Gigi Cavanaugh is a legit excuse to cut short your visit with your grandparents and hang out with her for a day to work on the song, am I right?”
And then he surprised the hell out of her. “Okay. I’ll do it.”
The adorable chocolate shop faced the town green. Plate glass windows topped with half-moons were set into the glossy green façade, and a striped canvas awning hung over the doorway.
“Are we going in?” Austin pulled his wool cap down and stomped on the recently shoveled pavement.
“Yes. But.” She clapped her mittened hands together. “You should know that I haven’t seen my sister in a long time.”
“How long?”
She lifted her scarf, so it covered her mouth, and exhaled, her breath warming her nose. “Years.”
“How many years?”
“Seven.”
“Why so long?”
Because I’m an asshole.But he didn’t need to hear that.
“I did something stupid, and instead of dealing with it, I moved away. And one month turned into a year and then time got away from me. It just became so much harder to come home and say, I’m sorry, I miss you, please, can I come home?”
“You don’t think they’ll forgive you?”
“I don’t forgive myself.” Ah. And there it is. The real reason I haven’t talked to anyone. If I’m still holding onto it, then I certainly can’t imagine anyone else letting it go. “God, it sounds stupid now that I’m saying it to you. I mean, if I were giving you advice, I’d say, She’s your sister. She loves you. Just go in and tell her you’re sorry.”
“She’s your sister. She loves you. Just go in and tell her you’re sorry.” And then…Austin smiled.
And warmth bloomed in her heart, making her forget all about the bitter cold. “Okay. I will.” She started forward and found Coco standing in the doorway.
Her stomach plummeted to her toes.
“You going to stand there and turn into ice sculptures, or are you going to get over here and give me a hug?”
Stella dashed up the walkway and into her sister’s arms. They clung to each other like Coco had just yanked her to safety from a raft in the ocean.
“This is Austin.” Stella blinked back tears. “He’s staying with Griffin while his dad’s on deployment.”
“Nice to meet you.” Coco shook his hand, before turning back to her. “Is your GPS broken? It took you this long to find my store? It’s literally in the center of town.”
“No, I knew where it was. I’m sorry. I’ve been…embarrassed.”
Coco ushered them inside, and they were immediately enveloped in the lovely scent of warm chocolate.
“This place is unbelievable.” All three walls had floor-to-ceiling built-in bookcases arranged with colorful planters, chocolate gift bags, and fancy boxes. The glass display cases had row upon row of artfully designed chocolates, and the marble table in the center of the shop held antique cake stands with clusters of specialty treats.
“Chandra?” Coco called to the clerk behind the register, pointing to Austin. “Can you please put together a box of whatever he wants?” The moment Austin took off to wander, her sister turned to her. “Why the hell would you be embarrassed to see your sister? You’re not going to kiss my husband, are you?”
Floored by the comment, Stella just stared at her. And then she said, “You already married him. Where’s the fun in that?”
“You dummy. Come on, show me the engagement ring.”
It hit again, that punch of shame. Her arm hung limply.
“I can’t believe you’re engaged.” Coco flicked her fingers. Show me.
Oh, God, this is terrible. Horrible. How could she lie to her sister?
Do it. With a smile, she showed her sister the modest diamond.
“It’s beautiful. You’re beautiful. I’m so glad you’re home. And marrying Griffin? That’s the best news in the world. When did you guys get in touch with each other because Lulu saw him last summer, and he said you guys hadn’t talked since you left town?”
She flicked a glance to Austin, who was peering into a display case. “It’s a long story. We can talk more over Thanksgiving. I have to get him to his snowboarding class, but I wanted to see you and pick up some chocolates for his dad. He’s deployed, and I thought it would be a pretty awesome care package.”
“Sending my chocolates to one soldier is just plain cruel. How about we send enough for everyone in his unit?”
Stella broke out laughing since she’d pretty much said the same thing to Austin. “I love how the Cavanaugh women think.”
“Go big or go home. Come on. Let’s box up every chocolate I’ve got in this shop. My thank you to the Armed Service members who defend our country and miss out on the holidays with their own families.”
But before Coco could go, Stella reached out to her. “I’m sorry. I’ve been ashamed of myself for so long, and I didn’t know how to come back. So, thank you for making it so easy. I’ve really missed you.” She pulled her sister in for a hug.
“I missed you, too, and we have a lot of catching up to do.”
So far, Gigi, her parents, and Coco had made it super easy.
That just left Lulu.
And she had a feeling that wouldn’t be easy at all.
* * *
Joe: Found your template on top of the printer. Want me to bring it?
Griffin: Nah. Leave it. About to take my knucklehead on a spin.
Pocketing his phone, Griffin stared at the beauty in front of him. He’d worked on this bike for months and couldn’t wait to get it out on the road. Boots on concrete made him smile. He figured Joe would want to hear the engine purr.
But when he turned around, it was Declan. His friend handed him the template. “I like what you’ve done to the place.”
He’d transformed the original garage, modernized and expanded it, but he knew his friend was teasing. “What’re you still doing in town? It’s hockey season.”
“Just got some shit to deal with.” Declan patted the bike. “This the forty-eight knucklehead you told me about?”
“Yeah.”
“You need me to give it a ride?” Meeting Declan in a dark alley might give a guy a little scare. With his scruff and worn jeans, his ink, and ancient biker boots, he looked rough. But he was the nicest, most loyal friend Griffin had ever known.
“After I christen it, you’re next.”
“Cool. I’m in town a couple more days. You want to get a drink?”
“Absolutely. Does that mean you’re in town for Thanksgiving?”
“Sure am. Text me when you want to meet up.” Declan had been raised by his grandpa, his only family. After the old man died, he was pretty much alone in the world.
“Declan.” The sharpness in his tone had his friend turning around. But there wasn’t a chance in hell he’d be alone for the holidays.
“Flag football in the Sundance Room at one on Thursday.”
Declan broke out in a slow grin. “You sure about that? I’d hate to embarrass you with your fiancée watching.”
A prickle at the back of his neck alerted him to the fact that Declan knew about the lie. “Stella’s going to be with her family. First time in seven years. It’s a big deal.”
“Shouldn’t you go with her? You are engaged, after all.”
“Not this year. She needs to work shit out. It’s just family.”
“Uh huh.”
“Whatever you think’s going on, keep your theories to yourself.” He’d known Declan since preschool and trusted him with his life. He probably should tell him. But where does it end? He should tell his parents, too. His brothers, Skylar, Jinx…
Best to just play the game.
Shouldn’t be for much longer.
“Oh, I got theories, all right. You want to hear one of them?”
“No.”
Declan grinned. “You’ve been in love with that woman half your life. Doesn’t matter how you got a ring on her finger…don’t fuck it up.”
“Okay.” Griffin’s tone was dismissive, meant to shut the conversation down, but heat flushed through him. A jumble of emotions hit him all at once.
“You want her, but she’s way out of your comfort zone.”
“I don’t have a zone.”
“Oh yeah? It ever occur to you that you fix bikes for a living?”
“Yes, daily. When I come to work and fix bikes.”
“Don’t be obtuse.”
“I’m glad you only had a year and a half of college. I’d hate to hear your vocabulary if you’d had more.”
Declan’s grin burst right through all that scruff. “You design motorcycles, my man. To make sure the owners don’t crash. You keep people safe.”
“Yeah, it’d be bad for business if my customers crashed.”
“Look, man, what happened that night sucked. But we’d done that kind of thing hundreds of times before, and no one had ever gotten hurt. It was a fluke.” He hunched a shoulder. “We fucked up.”
“I fucked up. Jamie fucked up. Cole fucked up. You and Booker had nothing to do with it.”
“And I lost my shot anyway. See? That’s my point. Shit happens. If you live your life trying not to fuck up, you’re not really living.” He exhaled. “Griff, your heart chose one woman. Now, you’ve got to get over your issues so you can keep her.” Declan turned and walked off.
“What issues?” When his friend didn’t even break stride, Griffin shouted, “What fucking issues?”