You’re Still The One by Erika Kelly

Chapter Seventeen

Mom: Great news! Lulu’s here!

As the gate opened, Stella stared at the text message.

Griffin reached for her hand, threading their fingers together. “What’s going on?”

She lifted her phone. “I just found out Lulu’s here.”

“Isn’t Xander playing today?”

“He is.” She shrugged. “But she came home.”

She’d talk to her sister for the first time in seven and a half years.

And it made her feel sick.

“Would it help if I came with you?” he asked.

Yes.“You’re amazing. You really are.” But he’d been avoiding his family because of her lie, so she wasn’t about to keep him away from them today. “I’ll be fine once I get inside. Thank you, though.” Besides, he was so close to them. He was the best big brother his siblings could ask for. “You have to see Rocco and Nico.”

He cracked a grin. “Yeah, I do.”

See?He loved his nephews.

“We could divide the day. Your family eats a lot earlier than mine.”

She shifted toward him. “You’d do that for me?”

The gate opened, and he drove through. “I think you know I’d do anything for you.”

She launched herself across the console to hug him. And right in the middle of the driveway, he shifted into Park so he could hug her back. “You don’t know how…happy I am.” She tucked her face into his neck. “Happy isn’t even the right word. Every minute of every day these past seven years, I’ve ached for you. No matter where I was, who I was with, what I was doing, I felt you in my heart, and it hurt. I knew I’d lost the love of my life, and I knew I’d done it to myself.”

He thumbed away a tear. “I know. Believe me, I know. Life without you…it’s going through the motions. It’s eating without tasting and laughing without finding anything funny.”

She kissed him, giving him her whole heart through her mouth, her tongue, and the hands cupping the back of his neck.

He pulled back and shifted into Drive. “Come on, let’s get you home.”

I’m already there.

Because home is with you.

He braked behind a line of trucks and SUVs. She glanced toward the house, imagining the easy laughter, the way her mom finished her dad’s sentences, the conversations that overlapped and veered in new directions.

“I’m a guest.” She glanced at him. “They’ve got a new normal now with just the five of them. Well, six with Cassian. Seven and eight with Xander and Beckett. And when I walk in, everyone will stop talking. It’ll become stilted. No one’s going to tease me about rushing in late because I met my friends for brunch at the diner. No one’s going to give me shit for not helping out in the kitchen. Instead, it’ll be like, So, how did you like working for the Wildcats? I heard you moved to New York. How did you like living there? You know what I mean? I gave up my place in this amazing family.”

He broke into a soft smile. “Now, that’s where you’re wrong. The magic of you is that no one’s a stranger. I don’t think you realize how special you make someone feel just by sitting next to them at the airport gate. But next time, pay attention. Watch them sit up a little straighter and wipe the crumbs off their shirt. You’ll see exactly what I mean.” He reached for her hair, rubbed a lock between two fingers. “Forget you? Sweetheart, you’re the heart and soul of this family, so get that fear out of your head.” He cupped her chin, his gaze sinking into her. “You are loved, you are missed, and you are irreplaceable.”

“Oh, my God, Griffin.” And once again, she was leaning across the console, holding him like she never wanted to let him go.

And she wouldn’t.

She wouldn’t do anything to jeopardize their relationship this time around.

Always unrattled, he smoothed her hair and kissed her mouth. He cut the engine. “Come on. I’m going in with you. I’ll stay until you feel comfortable.”

“You make everything better.” She unbuckled, pulled her purse from the backseat, and opened her door. “Let’s do this.” With each step up the walkway, her stomach tightened. “I wish I didn’t have to lie to them.”

“Yeah, I know, but I keep reminding myself that as soon as I get that letter, we’ll be able to explain ourselves.”

They climbed the steps and stood under the shelter of the porch. She reached to open the door, but he caught her wrist and pressed a kiss to her hand. “Just be yourself. They can’t help but love you. No one can.”

Do you love me?

I’d do anything to earn his love again.And that’s when she realized, he couldn’t come in. He couldn’t miss time with his family to hold her hand through a problem she’d caused. “Griffin.”

He waited, patient, kind, as always.

“Go to your family.”

“I will. At least let me stay for your mom’s famous hot crab pinwheels. Those things are awesome.”

“I’ll put some in my purse for you. Now, go play flag football with your brothers and cousins and friends. Make us proud.” She set a hand on his cheek. “Thank you.” I love you.

He looked at her for a moment, as if making sure she really was okay. How could she not be? Everything he’d just said made absolute sense and made her feel better.

“Okay, but if things don’t go well, text me for a rescue.” He kissed her on the mouth, and then he was gone.

She faced the door. Here we go. Opening it, she stepped inside to the familiar scents of pumpkin pie and roasting turkey. A roaring fire crackled, and she followed the voices coming from the kitchen.

She shed her jacket, tossing it over the back of a chair, and dropped her purse onto a side table. A mess of emotions, she headed toward her family. She wanted them to accept her, love her, draw her right back into the center of them where she’d once felt so safe and cherished.

She didn’t want it to be awkward, to see resentment in their eyes.

Couldn’t bear to have Lulu ignore her.

An adorable little girl came flying into the living room wearing gauzy silver wings and ballet slippers. Right behind her, Coco came out with a baby in her arms.

The little girl saw Stella and ran over to her. “Is that my auntie Stella?”

Coco smiled and came closer. “It sure is.”

“Why is she just standing there?”

Coco’s fingers sifted through the girl’s hair. “Good question.”

Stella burst out laughing. “I’m sorry. I’m just so excited to meet you.” Forcing her body to move, her legs felt like they hadn’t been attached correctly.

As she looked at Stella’s boots, the little girl’s eyes went wide. “Mommy. Those shoes sparkle.” Her gaze swung up to her mom. “Can I wear boots like that?”

“When you’re thirty.” Coco pulled Stella into a hug. “You okay?” She smelled like baby shampoo and cocoa powder.

“I think if I sit at the kids’ table, I’ll be all right.”

“Oh, so that’s how it is? Posie sits by herself in a separate room, while the rest of us feast?”

“I’m not sitting by myself.” The little girl sounded offended. “I sit with my daddy.”

“Oh, I know, honey. Auntie Stella was…never mind. It was a joke. A bad one. Come on in.”

Stella ran her hands down her dress, but she didn’t follow Coco into the kitchen.

“If you’re worried about Lulu, don’t be. She’s just as nervous about seeing you. You guys need to break through the wall. One conversation, and you’ll back to being thick as thieves.”

“That’s optimistic.”

“What do you want me to say?” Coco shifted the baby. “Don’t turn your back on her, she’s packing a shiv?”

“At least that’s better than not knowing what to expect.”

“Sometimes in life, you just have to take that first step. Like right now.” She handed over her baby. “Welcome to being an aunt.”

Stella took in the denim-blue eyes, sandy blonde hair, and bow-shaped pink lips of the most beautiful infant she’d ever seen. “She’s precious. And heavy.”

Coco laughed. “What were you expecting? A ball of fluff?”

Posie tugged on her mom’s jeans. “I’m hungry, Mommy. When can we eat?”

“Ask Daddy to cut you an apple.” When her daughter ran off, Coco turned back to her. “You look like you’re about two seconds from dropping my baby and pulling a runner.”

“No, it just feels weird, you know? The last time I saw you, you’d just graduated college. You were going to start a business with…Keith?”

“Yeah, that fucker ghosted me.” Coco smiled. “Thank God.”

“And now you have a husband, two daughters, and a really successful chocolate shop.” She stroked the baby’s downy hair. “I missed getting to know your children.”

Coco wrapped an arm around her. “Yeah, you did. So, let’s not waste one more minute, okay? Come on. Let’s get this over with. It’s kind of like a crème brȗlée. Just give the crust a good, hard whack so you can get to the creamy custard underneath.” She squeezed Stella’s hand as if to say, I got you. And then she led her to the kitchen.

When she got to the threshold, Stella took in the scene. Her mom basted the turkey, Gigi ran a hand mixer in a silver bowl, and her dad leaned a hip against the counter as he handed a piece of sausage to Posie and set another on the charcuterie board he was putting together.

“Stella’s here,” Coco called. “Can we eat now?”

Everyone stopped talking. The room went silent, as all eyes turned to her.

At that exact moment, Lulu stepped out of the panty. “Okay, Dad, you’ve either got water crackers or—”

Their eyes met. Lulu’s jaw went slack.

A volatile cocktail of fear, joy, and shock exploded in Stella’s chest, sending hot pinpricks raining down on her skin. The air left the room, and a deep, unfathomable longing rumbled, burst, and crashed over her.

Please don’t run.

Please, please, please don’t run.

And then her sister tossed the crackers on the counter and disappeared back into the pantry.

Her mom set the baster on a plate and gave Stella a hug. “Hey, sweetheart. You want to start setting the table?”

Oh, my God. “Yeah, sure.” Stung, embarrassed…she didn’t really know what she was feeling. She almost couldn’t believe it when conversation resumed as though her sister hadn’t just annihilated her.

Cassian headed over. “Hey, Stella. Great to see you.”

She took in his height, his muscles, and all that radiant star quality. “Well, you grew up.” As hard as she tried to pretend she was all right, she knew the slight tremble in her voice gave her away.

Gigi joined them. “Right?”

“Look at you two. Together, finally.” Her last memory of them had been Gigi curled up in a ball, crying her eyes out, inconsolable, the night Cassian kissed her sister’s friend at a party right in front of her.

Doing her damnedest to ignore the pain of Lulu’s rejection, she gave Cassian a playful smack on the shoulder. “I’m so glad you figured out your shit.”

“Yeah, I was an asshole. But it all worked out in the end. I got the girl.” He wrapped an arm around Gigi’s shoulders and hugged her tightly.

A tall, muscular, extremely handsome man approached them.

Coco lit up. “And this is Beckett.”

With the baby snuggled in one arm like a football, Coco’s husband gave her a firm handshake. “Great to meet you. I’ve heard—”

“A lot about me? Yeah, I know. Despite that, maybe you’ll give me a chance?”

His features broke into a devastatingly handsome grin. “I’ve heard way more good, and to be honest, the other stuff’s more badass than bad.”

Acutely aware of Lulu coming out of the pantry and lingering at her dad’s side, Stella nodded. “I can live with that.”

Her dad handed off the charcuterie board, and Lulu had to walk right past her to bring it out to the living room.

Stella abruptly—possibly rudely—excused herself from the others and reached for Lulu’s arm. “You need help with that?”

Lulu faltered, her gaze catching Stella’s.

When she didn’t pick up any anger, hope sped through Stella’s bloodstream, radiating heat through her body.

“I got it.” Coco took the board, and all four of them headed into the living room.

That left Stella alone in the entryway of the kitchen with Lulu. She’d had years to go over what she’d say when she finally got the chance, but nothing came to her mind at that moment. Because there was only one thing she wanted to say. “I miss you.”

The three simple words hang in the air, drenched with emotion and pulsing with tension. Lulu swallowed. She smoothed her hands on her blouse. And right then, their dad tried to get past them, arms loaded with bottles of wine.

“Everything okay?” he asked.

Before either could answer, their mom called, “Girls, hurry up and set the table.”

And then…Lulu turned and walked away.

While everyone groaned and patted their bellies, Stella had hardly eaten a thing. Hard to do when Lulu sat across the long dining room table, actively ignoring her. After dinner, they’d gathered around the fireplace and told stories, and it felt like old times. They never ran out of conversation and laughter.

She’d made sure to give light, happy answers to all the expected questions, never delving too deep. Not in this setting. It was a holiday, after all.

But time had gotten away, and now Coco and Beckett needed to get the babies home. Panic fluttered in Stella’s throat, knowing Lulu had to leave, too, to pick Xander up at the airport.

In the flurry of activity, as everyone got their coats and said their goodbyes and talked about future plans, Stella knew she had to take her shot. She glanced at her sister, who stood at the bottom of the stairs, talking quietly on the phone. Xander hadn’t seen the point of Lulu missing Thanksgiving with her family for a game, so after winning, he’d literally run off the field, showered, and caught a jet to Calamity. His plane was just landing.

Coco crouched, snapping the baby into the car seat while Beckett held Posie in his arms.

“Hey, Stella, do you need a ride?” Coco asked.

“Oh, no, thanks. Dad’s taking me.”

“Okay, ‘Night.” Her sister gave her a hug.

Stella reached up to give Beckett a kiss on the cheek. “It was great to meet you.”

“Come for dinner, okay?” he said.

“I will.” Stella brushed the hair out of Posie’s eyes. “I had fun with you tonight.”

“Are you going to come over and make cookies with us?”

She’d heard all about the kitchen cabinet stuffed with sprinkles and glitter. “I would love that. Bye, Sweetie.” After the family left, Stella closed the door, and when she turned around, she found Lulu heading for the kitchen. Which meant she was grabbing car keys and heading out the back door.

Stella hurried over. “Lulu?”

Everyone turned to her in surprise, and she guessed she had sounded a little aggressive. But her time was up, and she wasn’t going to let another minute pass with her sister not knowing how sorry she was for hurting her. “Can I talk to you a second?”

“I have to go.” Lulu sounded half helpless, half annoyed. “Xander’s landing.”

It’s true. I had all night.

And I waited until the very last moment. “I know. It won’t take long, and it’s important.”

Lulu gave a shrug of surrender, and then Stella led them into the kitchen, where the counters were littered with pots and pans, the turkey platter, and leftover pies. Standing there facing her sister, her mind went blank, and she tried to pull together any of the sentences she’d rehearsed over the years.

But none of those sentences mattered when she was face to face with the person she’d hurt so badly. “I’m sorry, Lulu. I’m sorry for not trusting you to figure things out on your own. I’m sorry for assuming I knew what was best for you.”

Slowly, her sister’s tension eased.

“I’m sorry for humiliating you in front of everyone we know. And I’m sorry I wasn’t mature enough to understand that my job was to be there for you when you needed me.”

“Well, that’s…a very different kind of sorry than you gave me seven years ago.”

“Back then, I still believed I’d done the right thing in the wrong way. I still thought I was saving you from a bad marriage.”

“Well, I mean, you did. I would’ve married him, and he would’ve cheated. And I would’ve fought with him and cried a lot and spent months agonizing over what to do. I would’ve left him in a big dramatic scene. You did save me from all that.”

“I didn’t want you to go through any of that. You feel things so deeply, and I was…oh, forget what I was. I thought it was my job to protect you, to save you, and really my job was to be your best friend.”

“You know, I’ve had a lot of time to think about it, and the real problem was our dynamic. You were always this dazzling creature, and since socializing came so easily to you, I just stood in your shadow and let you lead the way. If you hadn’t kissed Trace, I’m not sure we ever would have broken that dynamic. It wasn’t until I moved away that I stopped trying to be more like you and started being me.”

“Can you forgive me?”

“Oh, I did that a while ago. The issue was whether I wanted you in my life. I mean, not only was your apology mostly about defending your actions, but then you ran off and never came back. I think I’ve been angrier about that more than anything else.” Her sister looked disappointed in her. “I thought you were the strongest woman I knew, but you weren’t. By disappearing, you took away my option to rant at you or even forgive you. It was just another way for you to take away my choice. You know it takes me longer to process things than you, especially something as enormous as that night. And that’s what I’m not sure I’ve forgiven you for.”

“I honestly never thought about it like that. I’m sorry. I was devastated and scared and…immature. I’d lost my best friend and the love of my life, and it was all my fault, and I just couldn’t live with myself.”

“Well, you got him back.” Lulu reached for her hand, lifting it to show the engagement ring. “Congratulations.”

Oh, God. Here it is. The big lie.

Her hands went clammy, and her stomach twisted. “Thank you.”

Her sister’s gaze flicked to hers, alert, aware.

Stella cleared her throat. “Thank you.” She said it more strongly this time. Because she had no choice.

But Lulu knew. And she dropped her hand, still warily watching her. “I have to go.”

Stella didn’t know what to say. Can I call you? Can we talk again?

Have we worked anything out at all?

Because she’d just lied to her sister.

And how could they move forward when Lulu still couldn’t trust her?