You’re Still The One by Erika Kelly

Chapter Five

Stella was shaking.

And it was two hours after her sister had run away from her.

In the chapel, the staging team moved around her hauling lights, candles, and ribbons, while Stella stood off to the side comparing their work with Diane’s schematics.

What have I done?

Lulu had been her best friend, her person, and no one else in the world would ever come close to filling that role.

That night, when she’d kissed Trace, it had been to save her sister from a lonely, terrible life with a man who’d only wanted to marry into a celebrity family.

He hadn’t loved Lulu. He hadn’t appreciated her sister for the beautiful, intense, caring, kind soul that she is.

Yes, of course, she knew now how wrong she’d been.

But through all these years, she’d believed that one day she could make peace with her sister, redeem herself. She’d imagined coming back into town for some big event like their parent’s thirtieth wedding anniversary. Lulu would enter the room, see her, and tears would spring to her eyes, as she raced across the room to hug her. “I missed you so much,” Lulu would say.

But then pictures of her and Xander had hit the tabloids, and Stella had figured she’d set the clock back. This time, maybe she’d be exiled forever.

Why hadn’t she told her family she was coming home? She’d had two weeks to do it. Her sisters should never have found out by bumping into her.

She’d convinced herself that Taji had extracted every second of her time and energy during those final weeks in the city. I’ll tell them once I’m settled.

And then she’d told herself she was in over her head. I’ll tell them once I get the hang of things here.

But those were excuses.

The truth is that I don’t know what to say. I don’t know how to explain being away for seven years.

And I don’t know how to begin making things right.

Obviously, step one was calling her mom. And of course, she’d thought about it every minute since she’d gotten Diane’s job offer. Whether she’d been riding the subway or racing across town for supplies, she’d worked on that conversation.

Hey, Mom. Guess what?! I’m moving back to Calamity.

But how do you call your mom out of the blue when you haven’t talked to her in seven years?

And she couldn’t be flippant. Hey, Mom. Long time no speak.

She couldn’t pretend as if nothing had happened. It had to be real, genuine.

Mom, I know I haven’t talked to you in a long time.

And that right there was why she hadn’t done it. Because being real required her to plow through the bravado and bear her soul. The conversation was just too deep and wide to handle on a phone call. She needed to do it in person when they could look each other in the eyes and really see each other.

“That’s not where it goes.” Austin’s voice startled her out of her thoughts.

She landed back in the warm, cozy chapel, surrounded by the smells of furniture polish and melting wax. “Sorry, where what goes?” She followed his gaze to the ceiling. Between the wooden beams, swaths of tulle draped like soggy diapers. “What’s it supposed to look like?”

He took the iPad from her, clicked around till he found what he wanted, and handed it back. She checked the image against the actual work. “Oh, I see. That’s much better.” She smiled at him. “What, do you have like an eidetic memory?”

He ignored her and slid back into the pew where he’d been working on his homework.

She held out the iPad. “Here, show them how it should be done.”

He looked at it with big, round eyes.

She shook the device. “Come on.”

“I’m not telling them they screwed up.”

“Of course not. That would put them on the defensive. You look at the screen, glance up at the ceiling, and go, ‘Huh, does something look off to you?’ And then they’ll figure out the mistake on their own.”

“Why don’t you do it?”

“Because I’m not the one who caught it.”

He hesitated, and she remembered the way he’d cowered behind the tree, hanging onto every word but unable to charge forward and tell his grandparents he wanted to stay with Griffin.

It struck her how little agency this young man had in his life.

She’d grown up here, so she couldn’t imagine what it had been like to pick up and move again and again. She could picture him as a little boy saying goodbye to his friends, maybe even having a going away party. Trying again in the new school. But after a third and fourth move? Would he even bother trying anymore?

And what must it feel like to have your dad stationed overseas on a military base? Did Austin ever get a decent night’s sleep? Or did he jolt awake with worry that his dad had gotten hurt?

This boy must feel like he didn’t have power over anything. She tipped her chin. “Go on. The sooner we get this done, the sooner we can get out of here.”

He watched the crew for a moment, particularly Carl, the man who ran the staging company, and then he slid out of the pew, snatched the iPad out of her hand, and stomped off.

Slowly, he made his way to the altar, crossed in front of the wide section of seats, and headed up the middle aisle. Then, he waited for Carl to notice him. Come on, Austin. She was about to march over there—even though she knew she shouldn’t—when the man turned abruptly and knocked right into him. He looked annoyed, and she hoped the boy wouldn’t slink away.

Crap. He did. Austin stepped aside, letting the stager rush by. But then the boy looked at her, chin lowered, long hair in his eyes, and she gave him a warm and encouraging smile.

He held her gaze for one…two…three seconds…and then, with a long-suffering look, he set off after the stager. Tapping him on the shoulder, Austin showed the man the iPad and pointed to the ceiling.

Once again, Stella held her breath. Because the guy might be mean. She hadn’t considered that. She’d been so intent on giving him agency that it hadn’t occurred to her the stager could be a total asshole. Being called out by a kid? If he did…

Stella geared up to march over there, but then Carl smiled. A moment later, he burst out laughing. Setting his hand on the boy’s head, he playfully pushed him back, and Stella knew everything would be all right.

Austin came back, thrust the iPad at her, and said, “Okay?”

“Yep. Great.” She dumped the device into her bag. “Is your uncle picking you up?”

“He told me to text him when I’m ready.”

“Well, great news. I got Diane to trade my room at the resort for a cottage at the Inn”—just in case your grandparents stop by and expect to see us together—“so, we’re neighbors now—yay.”

He was unimpressed with her jazz hands.

“Which means I can drive you home.” She led the way up the aisle, weighed down by knowing she’d forced him to lie. She’d have to address it in the car.

When she opened the door, the cold air smacked her in the face. Her first step had the sole of her leather boot sliding on the stone walkway. “Whoa.”

Austin caught her elbow, steadying her.

“Thanks. That was gonna hurt.”

He released her. “Why do you dress like that?”

“Like what?” Growing up in Calamity, she’d never worn the uniform of her classmates: jeans, Uggs, and hoodies. Where her mom had taken her oldest sisters to auditions and cooking classes, she’d taken Stella on shopping trips. Stella had always loved clothes, purses, jewelry, shoes, and she’d had an appreciation for quality from the time she was little. Since living on her own, she hadn’t been able to afford designer things, but she’d become an expert on finding the best values.

“Get some winter clothes.”

Glancing down, she could see dampness darkening the edges of her stiletto boots, ruining them. “You’re right, but I’m a wedding planner. I have to impress brides and their families with my style and panache.”

“You impress them with your ideas. And you show them you’re smart by wearing winter boots.”

She grinned. “Anyone ever tell you you’re wise for your age?”

He didn’t answer, but she was getting used to him by now. Wishing she had a parka, she dug her keys out of her purse. In Texas, she hadn’t had to wear bulky clothes. She despised layering, but okay, fine. She’d go into Wolf Village and shop at their fancy skiwear boutiques.

It’s cold as balls.

By the time they reached her rental car, her boots were crusted in snow and completely wet. She got inside and cranked the engine. “Hey, so, I want to apologize for lying to your grandparents. Obviously, Griffin and I aren’t engaged.”

Ignoring her, he stuffed his backpack between his feet and buckled in.

“I have this terrible thing I do, where my mouth gets ahead of my brain, and I blurt things out—”

“It was a good idea.”

Oh. She wasn’t sure how she felt about that. “It puts you and Griffin in a crappy situation. It’s just that there’s nothing more important than a person’s reputation. It’s our currency in life, you know? If your grandparents put that idea in anyone’s head…it would change the way people see Griffin permanently. Do you know what I mean?”

She could feel his eyes on her, but she kept her focus on the road. “Griffin doesn’t deserve that. He’s a good man. And when I heard them question his character…well, I couldn’t just stand there and let them do that. So, even if the lie turns out to have a great outcome, I never should’ve done that to either of you.”

He kept looking at her, and she wanted to ask him what he was thinking, but her gut told her that would just shut him down. So, she kept talking. “You shouldn’t have to lie to your family.”

“But I do. All the time.”

On edge, she waited for more.

“I’m not allowed to chew with my mouth open or put my feet on the table. I can’t bring food into my room, use my phone after nine o’clock, or play video games for more than an hour a day. I can’t play guitar.” His voice went hard with that last one.

“They don’t know about the guitar Griffin bought you?” She’d heard him strumming behind a closed door the other night when she’d dropped off some groceries.

He shook his head.

She wanted to tell him he could ask them to back off a little, to give him some room to be himself, but she’d seen them in action. They were intimidating people. “I hate that they’re so strict, but I know you’re turning fifteen in a few weeks, so the older you get, the less control they’ll have over you.” Though, she did see a pattern here of him not being able to speak up for himself. And since he was talking… “Hey, so good news. Griffin said he talked to the principal, and you’re not suspended anymore.”

He didn’t respond.

“Which is great.” She headed out of the lot. “But he also said you never told Mr. De Luca what happened. How come?” She had to slow for a delivery truck, and when she glanced over at him, she could tell he had no intention of answering.

By the time she reached 191, she knew she’d already become invested in this boy, so she tried again. “Why do I get the feeling you’d rather be suspended than go to school?”

Slouched, he looked out the window, pressing his forehead to the glass.

“Where were you living before this?”

“San Diego.”

“Oh, nice. I’ve never been, but I have this idea in my head that Southern Californians are all laid-back surfers.”

“I live on a military base.”

“You and your friends don’t surf?”

Beneath that shuttered look, she felt his isolation, his deep hurt. She got the feeling he didn’t have friends in San Diego. Well, he was in town for eight more months. He could make some here. What can I do about that?

“Have you ever taken karate?” That was a good one because it would give him goals to reach, and he’d make friends outside of school.

“Yes, I hate it. Can you stop?”

Right. She should’ve expected that.

“I just want to get through this.” He sounded glum.

She turned down the driveway toward the Inn. “Okay, I’ll drop it, but I really do want to show you how cool this town is. Maybe I’ll take you to Wild Billy’s so you can ride the mechanical bull.”

“I’m not riding a bull.”

“Said no one ever.” This town’s so awesome. Had he ever been on a ranch? Ridden a horse? “Hey, did you know Calamity was actually founded by outlaws? In the eighteen-hundreds, when people were settling in the west, they figured out pretty quickly that they couldn’t make a go of it here. How do you plant food in metamorphic rock, right? Not to mention the harsh weather.”

He turned to look at her. Yes. Finally, something interested him.

“This land was so inhospitable that it became a haven for outlaws. There was only one way in—the Owl Hoot Pass—and they’d bring stolen horses and cattle in from the east, give them new brands, and then lead them out west and sell them. I love that about our history. So, I just think the people here are naturally quirkier and more independent, which means they’re really accepting of everyone else’s quirky ways. Like, it doesn’t matter who you are, you can’t help but fit in.”

“I don’t care about fitting in.”

“Right, I’m saying you don’t even have to try. You just have to be yourself. I know you like playing guitar, but maybe while you’re in town, you might want to try some other things.”

“This isn’t my first time here. Before my grandpa Mack died, I came here a lot.”

Right. Of course. How else would he know Griffin so well? She gestured to the mountain. “So, you’ve done it all? Snowboarding, skiing, hiking, rappelling…?”

“No, my grandpa was too old, and Griffin doesn’t do stuff like that.”

Anymore. Griffin used to do it all the time. But she’d definitely snagged Austin’s interest. “You know people come here for the extreme sports, right? Will Bowie’s an Olympic gold medalist, and I don’t even know how many snowboarding medals his brothers have won.” She could totally imagine Austin looking all badass in ski pants and a helmet, his board on his shoulder. Yessss. She was dying to ask him about it, but she had to talk to Griffin first.

She parked, and in her shiny-soled boots, she followed him across a snowy embankment, high-stepping to keep from slipping. “We could go ice skating this weekend, if you want.”

“No.” With his back to her, his voice came out muffled.

She followed him to the door of Griffin’s cottage. He stomped his boots on the welcome mat and reached for the handle.

“Hang on, Austin.”

He stopped and turned to her, wary, cautious.

“I know it sucks to be dumped into a new school, and I know it’s scary to have your dad so far away, but you can either hide out in your bedroom and ‘get through this’ or you can take advantage of this wild, crazy town. Will you just do me a favor? Give me one day. We’ll ride the gondola up the mountain and jump in the hot springs. I’ll take you to the Antigravity Center, and we’ll bounce on the trampolines. Let’s have some fun.” She flashed him a smile, hoping she’d convinced him to emerge from his cave of misery.

“I’m good.” And with that, he walked into the house, leaving the door open.

She supposed that was an invitation of sorts, so she stepped into the living area of this two-bedroom cottage tucked deep into the woods.

Oh, man. Every time she was in here, she got knocked back in time.

She remembered reaching to open the door, only to have it thrown open, Griffin’s hand on her wrist yanking her inside, kicking the door shut, his hungry mouth on hers, his hands gripping her ass.

He loved my ass.

She’d laughed so hard with him she’d cried. They’d cooked together, watched movies, and made love on every flat surface. One time, they’d had such a big shouting match a groundskeeper had knocked on the door to make sure everything was all right.

She’d had other lovers since then, but she’d never had that kind of passion with anyone other than Griffin.

Then why have I given up?

Yeah, I messed up again—so what?

She had to try to win him back.

Determination flooded in.

They were doing this whole fake engagement thing—that meant they had to be together.

When had she ever accepted defeat? It wasn’t in her DNA.

She’d use this time together to get to know him again, flirt her ass off…and she’d win Griffin James back.

Because he was her one and only. She’d known it then, and she knew it now.

She just had to earn his forgiveness. That’s the only thing that’ll clear the way for us to get back together.

She found Austin in the kitchen, the refrigerator door open. “Tomorrow after school, get off the bus at my office. Bring your sneakers, sweats, and a T-shirt.”

“I’m not doing soccer, and I hate karate, so you can just forget it.” He poured himself a glass of milk and snagged a sleeve of cookies from the top shelf of the cabinet. Shoving an Oreo into his mouth, he headed for the couch and reached for his controller.

“You’ve got a choice. You can hide out in this cabin and play video games and eat junk food, or you can come with me to the Antigravity Training Center and get a fitness trainer who’ll get you ready to try some of the outdoor activities this town offers.”

He put his headphones on.

“Ah, Austin, Austin, Austin.” She grinned at him. “You’ve finally met your match.”

* * *

At the training center, Griffin held the door open, and Stella sailed right past him.

She’d been in their lives for what, a week? And she acted like she was part of the family.

And he fucking loved it.

Because I’m an asshole.

A glutton for punishment.

She hadn’t changed a bit in seven years. The evidence? The ring she wore on her left hand.

He’d meant to pick up a cheap one, but nothing in the jewelry store had looked like something Stella would wear. And a modest or boring ring would be a dead giveaway the engagement wasn’t real. So, he’d wound up spending way the hell too much money on a ruse.

Because that’s what he did. He got caught up in her.

She consumed him. Mind, spirit…

And body, as was obvious by the way his gaze was riveted on her perfect peach-shaped ass.

That he wanted to bite.

Which he’d done countless times. Yeah, he’d sunk his teeth into those fleshy cheeks.

Fuck. Not this again.

But he knew how to shut it down. All he had to do was call up the images he’d seen on Splashagram so many years ago.

Two sets of feet in the sand, one with cherry red-painted toenails, the other big and hairy, and the ocean blurred in the background.

A selfie of Stella laughing, eyes sparkling, her head tucked into the shoulder of her new husband.

Pain radiated through him, as vivid as an uppercut to the jaw.

Yep.

That did the trick.

At the desk, Stella waited while the receptionist finished a phone call.

Standing so close to her, his senses went on high alert—aware of the smooth skin of her cheek, the curve of her generous mouth, the scent of an elegant, sexy woman. And it pissed him off. Because what he’d viewed as love had been nothing more than chemistry. “You didn’t need to come with me.”

“I want to see if he likes it.” She touched his hand. “Hey, you never answered my question earlier. Was it hard to convince him this morning?”

“I didn’t have to say anything. Last night before bed, he asked if I had a gym bag he could use. Then, this morning, right before he got on the bus, he said he was getting off at the center.”

She grinned, and it was like looking up at a sunburst through pine branches. “That makes me happy.”

“How can I help you?” The receptionist got up from his desk and moved toward the counter, his attention fixed on Stella. Because she had that effect on everyone.

“Hi, we’re here to pick up Austin Greene. He had a session with a personal trainer.”

“Okay, sure. Can you tell me which one?”

“It was Jonathan.”

The man—clearly a trainer himself, with his workout clothes and strong physique—picked up a cell phone and dialed. “Hey, man, I’ve got Austin’s parents here.”

A bolt shot through him.

Parents.

It was like going home to an empty house, only to open the door and have all the lights thrown on and your best friends jumping out of their hiding places shouting, Surprise!

He couldn’t believe the way his body responded to the idea of being bonded to Stella for life, raising kids together. Well, he could believe it. But that was nothing more than a knee-jerk response. Once, he couldn’t have imagined having a family with anyone other than her.

“Great, I’ll tell them. Thanks.” Disconnecting, the man smiled. “He’s in the tramp gym. I can take you there if you like.”

You can fuck right off, buddy. But before he could tell the guy they’d find it on their own, and he could pull his eyes off Stella’s tits right the fuck now, she said, “I remember where it is but thank you.”

Stella led the way out of the main building and across a snow-packed path. “I don’t know what to expect. Half of me is afraid to find him sitting alone on a bench, while the other kids are having the time of their lives.” She hunched her shoulders against the cold.

He fought the impulse to wrap an arm around her. She was a big girl. She could buy herself the right kind of coat. Besides, it would send the wrong message. And he wasn’t about to blur the lines between the ruse and real life.

Because he’d learned his lesson with this woman. She flared up hot in the moment…and forgot all about you when you were gone.

He tried to ignore her trembling lower lip. Ah, hell. He shrugged off his leather coat and set it over her ridiculously light-weight jacket. “And the other?”

Tilting her face toward the collar, her eyelids fluttered closed. A flash of happiness softened her features—and holy shit, was she sniffing it? Was she as affected by his scent as he was hers?

But then she said, “The other half fully expects to see him totally into it.”

“The only thing I’ve seen him care about is his video game. Why do you think he’ll like a fitness trainer?”

“I don’t know. I was wondering how to make his time in Calamity fun, and I thought, well, what are we known for? Winter sports.” She looked at him like, Right? “But he’s not in the kind of shape to do sports even if he wanted to. So, I guess if we have a hope in hell of getting him off the couch, maybe it starts with getting him in shape.”

Griffin slowed.

“What?”

“I get so pissed at you, but then you say something like that, and I remember why you pull these stunts.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“I think you process things a lot quicker than the rest of us. Like with the fake engagement. I couldn’t believe you’d jump into a situation you knew nothing about, but you’d already put the pieces together. And you were right. The Pilsons would absolutely have planted that seed into the next dinner party conversation. ‘Why would a grown man want to take care of a teenage boy?’ And you figured out how to shut it down. You figured them out.”

“Thank you for saying that. I mean, I know you’re still angry about it, but I’m glad you understand where it came from.”

“You’ve known Austin a few days, and you already care about him.”

“I do. And I’m worried that sitting on a couch and playing games and eating cookies is going to lead to depression, so…this just made sense.” She gestured to the building in front of them, a massive gym with floor-to-ceiling windows.

Before opening the door, he touched her shoulder.

She startled and looked up at him.

Jesus Christ, she was stunning.

“It means a lot that you care about him. Thank you.”

“You’re welcome.” She broke out into a devastatingly beautiful grin that popped a bubble of warmth in his chest. And then, she pulled the door open, and he followed her inside.

“Hey, how’d you know where the tramp gym was?” he asked.

“I stopped by this afternoon and asked for a tour. I wanted to see what they offered.” Following a sign that said Viewing Room, she led the way up a staircase.

“You went out of your way to come here?”

“I did.” Her leather soles clicked on the galvanized steel stairs.

“Why?” Didn’t she have enough on her plate with her own work?

“I was already out, and since I was driving by…”

At the top, they stood side by side in front of the wall of windows that overlooked the gym. “You didn’t have to do that.”

“I wanted to,” she said softly.

This crazy energy tore through him. He’d call it gratitude. That’s all it is. He stuttered out a laugh. “It’s…you have no idea what Austin’s been through. He’s lucky to have you in his corner.”

“Well, we don’t know that yet. He might be sitting on the sidelines playing a game on his phone.” She touched his arm. “But I’m happy to hear you say that. Sometimes it feels like you can’t stand me. That you wish I were anywhere but here, in your life.”

“That’s because it’s true.”