Reconcile by Nicole Dykes
I can’t stop thinking about her.
Goddamn it. Why can’t I stop thinking about her?
It’s been years. Years since she was even remotely mine. I’ve been doing okay since then, even knowing we were living in the same town. But now, I can’t stop my thoughts from drifting to her—okay, obsessing about her. Seeing her in my older brother’s building short-circuited my brain.
Of course, she’s still gorgeous. Nothing has changed. Her dark hair is still long. Her brown eyes are much lighter than mine. Her lips are full and red. And even in the permanent scowl she wears around me, they’re pure perfection.
“What are you doing?”
“Oh, you know me. Volunteering at a soup kitchen, cleaning up trash off the sidewalk, and helping old ladies cross the street.”
I can hear Ash rolling his eyes at me even over the phone, and then he chuckles, “Yeah right, fucker. We both know if you were doing any of that, it would be court-ordered. And I don’t think you’ve been arrested recently.”
“Ha ha.” I sigh and look up at the apartment building where I’m parked. This can’t be the right address. The place isn’t rundown or anything, but it’s far from luxurious.
“What are you really doing?”
I gaze through my window at the apartment. Number seven. “Trying to decide if the high probability of getting stabbed is worth the risk of being where I am.”
He groans now, “Where the fuck are you?”
“I may have acquired Piper’s address the other day when I went to visit Cole at the office.”
A sigh. “Sawyer . . . I really don’t want to bail you out of jail tonight. It’s a school night.”
I grin. “I just . . .” I drop my eyes from the building and huff, “She’s still carrying so much hatred for me. And I get it, but I don’t want her to.”
“So you want to, what, apologize?”
I look back at the building. “Maybe.”
“Well, good luck, man.”
“Thanks.”
“Dinner. Tomorrow at our place.”
“Yeah, I’ll be there.” I hang up and slide my phone into my pocket as I climb out of my car, looking at the apartment again.
This can’t be where she lives. She’s a fucking Ward, for Christ’s sake. Maybe the HR guy was fucking with me and gave me the wrong address. He wasn’t pleased when I asked for the information but couldn’t do much about it, considering I’m a Ross and he’d seen me with Cole right before I took a detour to the HR office.
Still, it was a risk. He could have called Cole, and my brother would have no doubt been pissed. Maybe he did after I left, but I haven’t heard from either of my brothers, and it doesn’t matter because I’m here now.
I walk up to the door and knock because there isn’t even a doorbell. Moments later, I hear Piper’s familiar voice saying, “It’s probably the pizza. Go set the table.”
What the fuck? Does she have a date?
A cold shiver runs through me, thinking about the fact that Piper could have anyone in there—including my brother. But then she pulls the door open, and I know I’m in this now. No going back.
I don’t miss her look of horror before a stark glare forms on her pretty face. “What the hell are you doing at my apartment?”
“You really live here?”
She scowls at me. “Leave.”
“I just want to talk to you. I don’t care where you live . . .”
“Mommy!” What? “Mommy, is the pizza here?”
Piper looks terrified as she looks down at the little girl tucked to her side. A little girl with long dark brown hair and dark brown eyes, not light like Piper’s. Dark.
“Please go to your room. I’ll be right in.”
“But Mommy . . .” The little girl whines, looking up at Piper.
“No.” Piper is blunt but not harsh as she drags her hand over the little girl’s hair. “Please go. I’ll be in soon.”
The little girl looks curiously at me and then takes off as Piper pushes me away from the door and follows me out, closing the door.
“Leave.”
I’m frozen in place, unable to move or speak, and I can’t remember a time that’s ever happened to me. My gaze locks on Piper. “Did she call you ‘Mommy’?”
This can’t be happening.Piper looks furious, but there’s something else lingering in those light brown eyes of hers. Fear. “Leave.”
“How old is she, Piper?”
I know the answer. I don’t know how to explain it, but I feel it in my gut. “Sawyer, I don’t know how the hell you found out where we live, but you have no right to be here.”
We.
Piper and her daughter.
Our daughter.
“How old?”
Her throat is pulled tight with emotion as she shakes her head. “Just leave. Please.”
“No.” I step closer to her, re-taking the space I’d put between us and swallowing it as my shoes touch hers. “Tell me.”
She shakes her head and glances back over her shoulder. I gently grasp her chin between my thumb and finger with just enough pressure to make her look at me.
“How old, Piper?”
She jerks her chin out of my hold but doesn’t look away. “She’s six.”
Six. Almost definitely conceived around the last times we had sex. “Six?”
She nods and then crosses her arms over her stomach. “You need to go. She needs dinner and to get to bed. It’s a school night.”
“You really think I’m going to just walk away?”
“You’re really good at that, Sawyer,” she counters, but it doesn’t sting. I know she’s right.
Still, there’s no way in hell I’m leaving. “She’s my kid.”
She drops her arms now and pokes her finger into my chest, hard and unyielding. “No.”
“No?” I raise my eyebrow. “You were fucking someone else in high school?”
Her glare momentarily makes me frightened for my balls, but I don’t back away. I need answers. “Maybe.” She shrugs, trying to play it cool but clearly lying.
I take another step closer, dragging my finger over her cheek and down her neck. “No, you weren’t.”
She swats my hand away from her. “It doesn’t matter. She’s not yours.”
Her chin is held high as I study her. “If you weren’t fucking anyone else, she is.”
She shakes her head defiantly. “No, Sawyer. She’s mine. I gave birth to her alone. I raised her alone. I was the one up with her every two hours feeding her when she was a newborn. I was the one who cradled her when she was sick. It was me.”
Unmitigated fury runs through me as I place a heavy hand over my heart. “Because you didn’t fucking tell me about her! I had no idea any of that was even happening.” I point at her, angry and in shock. “How the fuck could you do that to me?”
“You’re kidding, right?” Now her fury matches mine as she steps back toward the door. “You didn’t want to be a boyfriend, let alone a father. And there’s no way in hell I’m going to apologize for protecting my kid.”
“Our kid,” I growl.
“My. Kid.” She pushes the door open and turns to look at me over her shoulder. “Leave. You got your wish when we were eighteen. I hate you, Sawyer. I’ll always hate you. Now, stay away from me.”
With that, she goes inside, and I hear the lock click after she closes the door.
I barely make it back to my car before I collapse into the driver’s seat. She was pregnant. She had our kid and never fucking told me.
I’m a father.
