Sweet Girl by Quell T. Fox
Charlotte
“Canyourepeatthat?”Izzyasksforthethirdtime.Ipullmyfeetupontothecouchandpullthemunderme,settlingintothecorner.Ireallymissedthisoversizedcouch.Itbasicallyswallowsyouupandit’salmostmorecomfortablethanmybed.Mom’slivingroomissmall,onlyholdingthecouchandtwoendtables.TheTVismountedonthewallwithanelectricfireplaceunderneaththatlooksliketherealdeal.AfewphotosofmefromwhenIwasababyareonthewallsandafakeplantsitsinthecorner.I’vekeptthecurtainsdrawnbacksoit’sdark,andtheACispumpingsoit’sniceandcold—justthewayIlikeit.
“I’ve already gone over it twice,” I groan. And I have. I spilled everything to her, knowing I needed to let it out. I need another opinion on this and I know Izzy would never judge me. The girl is a freak in bed, she was pushing me into Jonathan’s arms before she even knew half of this story. I may have made a mistake in telling her because now she’s only going to push harder. At the same time, maybe I’m just looking for a bit of encouragement. For someone to tell me that this is okay, and I’m not as awful as I think I am…
“Yeah, but I really want to hear it again. Just tell me about the part when he promises punishment again.” I can hear the humor in her voice.
“Stop! This is serious. Am I like... the worst child ever? I feel like an asshole.” I whine.
“Girl, if you feel it, go for it. They aren’t even together. That does not make you a bad person. The heart wants what the heart wants and all that bullshit.” I laugh a little. “And you said your mom has a new boo.”
She does. “Yeah, but—”
“No buts! You didn’t tell me all of this because you were worried that I would tell you you’re wrong. You know I would never do that. You want this to be right, so let it be right. Just… go with it, Charlie.”
“Okay.”
“Good girl,” she says in a low, husky tone, clearly mocking Jonathan, and I let out a frustrated sound. A crash and shouting sounds on the other end of the phone and Izzy groans. I can picture her eye roll perfectly. The girl has it down to a science. “Well, that’s my cue. I expect daily updates on this situation. Don’t leave me hanging!”
“Bye, Izzy. Love you.”
“Love you too!”
I end the call, dropping my phone to the couch. I settle back and throw my hands over my face.
I’m torn, but Izzy has made me feel a little bit better about this situation.
He’s single. Mom has a new boyfriend. I’m legal.
What is holding me back?
I think I know, but I’m too afraid to admit it. Jonathan is a man. He wants a relationship, to settle down. Even with the games we’re playing, I can see that. Deep down inside, there is something growing for him. And I know he feels the same way. In my mind, my heart, it’s always been Jonathan… So what is stopping me?
My phone rings and I pick it up, heading into my room and flop on the bed.
“Hello?”
“Hey, beautiful. What are you doing?” Michael’s smooth, soft voice sounds from the other end of the phone.
I look around my room, still curious as to where the camera is. Where is he hiding it? And how many are there? What if… oh my God, what if he heard that conversation between me and Izzy? Are they all around the house? My stomach drops with the thought. How freaking embarrassing.
“Just got home from lunch.”
“Care for some company?”
My eyes settle on the bookshelf, something telling me that’s it. It has to be there, somewhere. A smile crawls across my lips.
A distraction would be good right about now…
“My mom isn’t home. Why don’t you come by?”
“Sounds good. When?”
“How about now? Just come right up.”
I may be confused about a lot of things in my life, but one thing I do know is that I am enjoying this game with Jonathan. So it’s going to continue. It’s just teasing, so what’s the harm? We haven’t done anything truly inappropriate... Not since that one time. That’s not so bad, right?
It’s what I keep telling myself, anyway.
There is this nagging thought in the back of my head, that maybe if I just fucked him, I’d get over this obsession. That maybe all of this build up is from wanting it for so long and not having it. Two things would happen. Either he doesn’t live up to what I’ve built him up to be in my head, or he’s just as good as I hoped, maybe even better. The problem is with the latter. I know me. I know if he is as good as I think he will be, there will be no way I can let him go. That once I finally have him, there is no turning back.
The thought of not wanting to let him go is just as terrifying as the thought of having to…
It’s a huge chance to take.
But while I sort my shit out, I’m going to keep doing what I’m doing. Because just like him, I am single. He can say he owns me all he wants, it won’t stop me from doing me. The bonus here is that apparently, he likes it.
He’s not wrong when he said I think about him when I’m with Michael. Part of me hates that I do it, but the bigger part loves it. It’s dirty and wrong and that’s appealing to me for some fucked up reason.
Some people are just born this way. I don’t think they’re made. I mean, of course people can be made like this for whatever reason, but me… nothing happened to cause this.
I’m just me. I enjoy the dirty, raw parts of sex. And there isn’t anything wrong with it. It took me a long time to accept it, but I think I finally have.
I’m not attracted to Jonathan because he’s my stepdad, or was my stepdad. I’m attracted to him because he’s hot as fuck… the off-limits thing because he’s my stepdad just makes it hotter, but it’s more than that. When I’m around him, hell, even when I think about him, there is this giddy, swirling feeling in my chest that I can’t ignore. He makes me happy, but it’s more than just a smile to prove it. It’s something inside of me that every part of him satisfies, even with just a bit of attention. It’s scary because it’s dangerous. This kind of feeling is the kind that kills your spirit if something goes wrong. And this situation is far from ideal. It’s why I know I should keep my distance, why I shouldn’t be doing this… but I just can’t help it.
I need him.
The door downstairs opens and closes and I get myself propped up on the bed, my back leaning against the headboard. I should probably have a conversation with Michael about what’s going on here. I don’t want to be an asshole to him, he is a great guy, but we need to talk about what this is. Sex. Nothing more. He’s a distraction. A test. The final test. The one I’m using as a last chance to kick my Jonathan habit. And so far… it’s not doing a damn thing to keep him from my mind.
My bedroom door opens and I’m already prepared with a smile on my face, which falls just as quickly when I see who it is.
“What are you doing here?” I ask, getting to my feet. He stalks towards me, getting right in my space.
“Came to make sure you don’t forget who owns you.” Jonathan grips my chin, his lips smashing into mine. He drives his tongue into my mouth, kissing me with need. I kiss him back, my mind going fuzzy, barely able to register what is happening. My body aches with want for him, especially once I feel him growing hard in his pants.
I pull back, coming to my senses. “You can’t be here. I have someone coming over.” My eyes dart to the door, indecision roaring in my head. Jonathan kissed me. He’s here, in my room. I could… I could do so many things to him right now, but Michael is on his way. He will be here any minute.
He looks at me with hooded eyes and a smirk. “Oh, I know.”
“You have to leave,” I plead. I can’t imagine what he would think if he walked in to see my stepdad with a rock hard boner, standing inches from me in my bedroom. It would be the talk of the town. “He would not be okay with this.”
At least, I don’t think he will be.
Part of me, though, wants Jonathan to stay. Wants Michael to walk in and see us. It’s the easy way out, really. The cowardly way. Like ripping the band-aid off. I wouldn’t have to worry about telling anyone because he’d do it for us. And that would be it… simple.
“Charlotte, Charlotte…” he says sweetly, softly, taking a few steps to the side. “He won’t even know I’m here.”
The downstairs door opens and shuts as I open my mouth to say something.
Jonathan opens my foldable closet doors and steps inside. He will definitely be able to see us through the slats but we won’t be able to see him, not as long as the lights stay off in there and he doesn’t move. I know this from all the times I hid in there as a child, when my mom couldn’t find me.
“Be a good girl and put on a show for me.” His voice is low, husky as he shuts the door. Fuck… why do I like it when he orders me around like that? Everything I am is against it, against being told what to do. Then again, everything I am just goes right out the window when it comes to Jonathan.
My eyes are wide, I don’t know what to do. This is… more than I was expecting to handle.
Michael steps right in, closing the door behind him.
“Hey,” he says. I turn to him and put on a smile as best I can. “You okay?” he asks, frowning and looking around the room as if he can sense something is wrong.
“What? Yeah.” I avoid looking at the closet at all costs. My stomach is filled with nerves, my hands trembling. Knowing I was watched is one thing. Knowing someone is watching me on camera while I touch myself or fuck someone is bearable. But fucking Michael with Jonathan only a few feet away, and without his knowledge?
Am I crossing boundaries here?
Yeah, I most definitely am. But… I can’t deny Jonathan.
Michael slides his arms around my waist, bending down to run his lips and tongue along my neck. I turn my head, looking towards the closet doors. I can feel his eyes on me. I take a deep breath, telling myself that I can do this. Why not?
It’s just a game after all.