Highlander’s Winter Rose by Fiona Faris
Chapter Seven
Ye must nae laugh; ye must nae laugh.
Maximus was doing his very best to keep his face straight even though his amusement knew no bounds. Rosallyn had her hands on her hips as she told him to try getting into the hay by himself, and she obviously had no idea how comical she looked. Her hair was full of hay. The curls had decided to pick up the straws of hay and wear them as accessories.
Somehow, it was one of the cutest things he had seen in a while, and maybe because he no longer had many things to laugh about, he did not want to tell her that her hair was a mess so that she would not fix it. If she had that much hay in her hair, then he was probably even worse off since he had been covered in it. He chuckled to himself. He was in such good spirits, perhaps because he was outside.
He dug his way through the mound of hay and crawled into it before covering himself up to the best of his ability. He started with his lower body before moving to his head, and when he was somewhat confident that he was properly hidden, he stopped moving.
“What dae ye think?” he asked from inside the hay. He was aware that he would sound muffled since when she spoke to him before, she had sounded muffled as well.
“It is nae as good as it was when I helped ye dae it, but it is nae bad either,” he heard her say and got out of the hay. She packed the hay back to where it was supposed to be and dusted off her dress. She also shook her head, but her curls held on to the straws, causing him to chuckle.
“What is so funny?” she asked as she dusted him down and picked out hay from his hair. He shook his head, not wanting to tell her. She took him to see Barny, and he was pleased at how well she was taking care of the horse. It was clear that he was well fed and cleaned.
“Where did ye learn to care for horses? I cannae believe ye brushed him, and he let ye,” he said as she petted Barny. The horse accepted her pets, and seeing the pieces of straw caught in her curls, started biting at her hair, trying to eat them. Not knowing why, he was going for her head, she continued to duck out of the way, making Maximus laugh out loud.
“He seems to really like ye,” he added.
“It was father who taught me. When he came here, he did nae come with servants all the time, so we mostly did things ourselves. He would help me clean the whole house, and then we would feed the horses that drew the carriage he came in. He taught me to care for horses at the same time he taught me to ride them,” she said as she continued to duck away from Barny’s advances.
“Why are ye tryin’ to eat my hair? I already fed ye, ye hungry beast!” she exclaimed as she escaped Barny’s reach. Maximus pressed a fist to his mouth to hide his smile as she came to help him to his feet so that he could greet Barny. His horse neighed in obvious happiness as he approached, and he let go of Rosallyn to hug the horse instead.
“Ha, ye claim that he likes me, but look how happy he is to see ye. I guess he was worried. The last time he saw ye, ye were in pretty bad shape,” Rosallyn was saying while Barny bumped his head lovingly in greeting.
“Hey there, buddy. I am sorry to have worried ye like that,” he said, thankful for the horse, which had helped him so much. If he went with Rosallyn’s plan, he would have to leave him behind as well.
After greeting Barny and feeding him, she helped Maximus back into the house. She had not yet done her chores, so it was when she went to the mirror to tie her hair up so she could comfortably work, that she saw the hay in her hair. Maximus snorted in amusement when she turned to him with accusation written all over her face.
“So, this was why ye were laughin’?” she said with narrowed eyes. He burst out laughing at that, the first proper laugh he’d had since the usurper’s attack. Coming over, she smacked him in the face with the pillow playfully.
“Ye ungrateful dobber, fishin’ for laughs from me misfortune, ey? Meanwhile, I was nice enough to help ye with yer hair so that ye would nae share the same fate,” she said as she smacked him. Maximus was rather shocked after the first smack, but he was also immensely pleased, warmth spreading through his chest. It was nice to know that they had gotten close enough that she could do that without reservations.
The only friend he’d had who was close enough to do something like that to him was his brother. He had not really thought about it before, but he did not have any friends his age. He could not help but wonder about her. What would it have been like to grow up knowing her? With how close her father was to his family, she would have been a regular at the castle. They would have been friends for sure, maybe even more.
He was certain that both his father and hers would have approved of a romance blossoming between them both. Thinking of such things while she complained about her hair caused his face to heat up. He followed her with his eyes as she brushed her red curls, which fell to the middle of her back. She was complaining endlessly, and he wondered if it would be too forward to ask her if he could brush her hair for her.
“Dae… Dae ye want me to… help?” he managed to stutter out. She turned around and blinked at him.
“Ye want to help with me hair?” she asked with a confused expression as though she could not believe that he was actually offering.
“Is that bad?” he asked. She shook her hair as she came to sit beside him on the bed, handing him the brush.
“Nay, it is nae bad. It’s just that the only person who has ever brushed my hair for me is my grandmother,” she said. Maximus noted how similar they were. She did not seem to be close to anyone but her family, with no friends around her age. He was the same, his best friend being his brother. It really would have been best if they had met when they were younger.
He raised the brush to her hair tentatively. This was what he had wanted for the past few days. He had finally gotten the opportunity to touch her hair, and with a valid reason too. He detangled the hay from her curls, laying each straw on the bed when he brought it out, and brushed her hair from the tips to the root.
It felt just like he had expected it to, thick but soft. He did not want to let go at all. After he was done brushing the hair, he unconsciously began to massage her scalp, running his hand through the strands. It was only when she leaned back against his chest that they both snapped out of it.
“I’m sorry, it just… felt really nice when ye did that,” she said with a nervous laugh as she shot to her feet and grabbed the brush from him.
It felt nice? That means that she liked me doin’ that.
He was happier than he should have been at her words. She put the brush back on the table and brushed her dress down awkwardly. He held out the straws, and she took them.
“Ah, I am glad to help,” he said, meaning every word. She took the straws back shyly and left the room to do the chores. He was gloriously happy, his heart beating loudly, and he looked at his hands as though he had just touched gold. He lay back smiling to himself until she walked in again.
“Maximus, what was my father like?” she suddenly asked, barging into the room and startling him out of his thoughts when she walked in. He blinked for a few moments, his mind mulling the words over until he realized what she had said.
“What was father like when he was with ye?” she asked again. She was standing by the door shyly, with her hands held together, staring at the floor.
His expression softened as he realized that she must have been wanting to ask about her father for a while but was not sure how to do it, which was why she had just blurted the words out the moment she stepped in, not minding that it would be awkward. He smiled and waved her over, tapping the space beside him on the bed for her to sit. She did as he asked, moving to sit beside him, although instead of sitting on the bed, she sat on the stool she had put there for his ice bucket and rested her head on the bed.
“I have kent yer father since I was a wee lad,” he began. “He might as well have been a part of me family. He was me father’s best friend, so he and his wife were at the castle a lot, especially when my mother fell ill. His wife didnae dae very well with children, always awkward whenever she saw me or my brother, but she took care of me mother. She was basically livin’ in mother’s chambers on a seat beside the bed… much like ye are takin’ care of me now, actually.” His memories were bursting with color in his mind as though they had happened only yesterday.
“It was a tough time for my father as well because he loved me mother, ye see. My brother Alexander grasped the situation better than I did. I couldnae fully understand why mother wouldnae take us on picnics anymore, and why she got tired so quickly whenever I went to play with her. I certainly didnae understand why she held both me brother and I to her chest and wept. She kent that she was dyin… They all kent. She held us because she kent that any day might be the last that she would get to dae so, and so she cried. Alexander understood better, and so he cried as well, clutchin’ unto mother each day. I simply wanted for us to get up and go on a picnic, or for her to help me hide from me brother when we played,” he continued. She was quiet and listening, although in the back of his mind he was aware that he had strayed some from what she had asked, but it all came together to explain to her what her father meant to him.
“Me father was watchin’ the love of his life die, so he was nae in a good place either. He spent as much time as being Laird would allow him with mother, holdin’ her hand and cryin’ with her. It was in those times that yer father became larger than life for me and my brother. He kent quite well how sad the castle was for us, and so he took us out riding. We visited every interestin’ inch of town with him. He even took us down to the loch, regaling us with stories of our ancestors and explainin’ that mother would soon be goin’ to join them. I remember tellin’ him that I didnae want mother to go and askin’ if she could nae just stay.” He smiled as he remembered the scene.
“He said in that voice he uses when he gives advice… Ye ken the voice that I mean, aye?” he asked, to which Rosallyn laughed lightly and nodded. Maximus chuckled, and tried to mimic the voice.
“He said, ‘We dinnae get to choose when we go Maximus… Some of us are only lucky to nae go so suddenly that we cannae even hold on to the ones we love one last time.’ I was only eight summers old, but somehow those word have stuck with me to this day. I accepted that mother would have to leave, and I comforted her when she cried, remindin’ her that when she went to join the ancestors, she would just be waitin’ for us. I think that my family was able to get through my mother’s sickness and death because of yer faither. After that, he was basically family. In fact, my brother and I spent time with him as though he were a second father to us. He was our mentor and our teacher. He taught us how to think, which Alexander picked up on much easier, and how to fight, which I was all too eager to learn. We watched him spar with my father on many occasions, and by God, I can tell ye, it was the highlight of our lives as lads. They moved so quickly, with such grace and expertise, in a beautiful display of strength and ability. We were in awe and might as well have had stars in our eyes,” he said. He could hear the sound of clashing metal as the scenes returned to him vividly, along with the feeling of awe.
“We practiced their fights with our wooden swords, tryin’ to recreate their movements, watchin’ each spar and learnin’ new things, tryin’ to commit them to memory so that we could act them out when we played alone later. Yer father was a wonderful teacher. He found a way to instill value into us while building our bodies to be strong weapons of war. Our father was so proud of his relationship with yers. He was a strong and powerful leader, yet he was also kind and considerate. He put the needs of others above his own, and he was incredibly handsome, all the women knew it.” He chuckled to himself as he remembered.
“My father and yers were quite the lady killers, I must say. Young women who should have been lookin’ at me brother and I for marriage had eyes for them instead. My father, because he was unmarried after mother’s death, and yer father because… well, ye ken that his wife cannae bear children. So, they thought they had a chance. They never succeeded to get their attention, however. Yer father was gifted at turnin’ women down.” As he said the words, he realized that the General he knew would not have had an affair with a woman, breaking the trust of his wife like that. He wanted to know the story of who Rosallyn’s mother was and how she had managed to get the General’s attention.
“Everyone in the council ken that yer father was one of us. I suppose that was why they didnae even attempt to make him betray us, but instead, planned to have him killed along with me family. I dinnae ken what he was like to ye, but to me, yer father was one of the greatest men I knew. The only other men were me own father and me brother who was raised under them both. Now… Now they are all gone,” he finished.
He really had just lost the only three men that he looked up to in life. He was all that was left of them. He suddenly began to feel a huge weight on his shoulders. He had three big pairs of shoes to fill. He had to step up as the heir to the Lairdship in place of his brother, and as the Laird in place of his father, and as the General in the war against the usurper. He felt very small. Luckily, Rosallyn began to talk, distracting him before he began to wallow too deeply in such thoughts.
“Ever since I was a lass… when my mother was still alive, I ken that my father was a good man. I only saw him on my birthday, at first, and he would hold me with so much love I couldnae understand why he wouldnae stay, and why it took so long before I saw him again. Mother told me their story when I was finally old enough to ask. I was nine summers old. She said she used to be a maid in father’s home when he was a boy. Somehow, they had fallen in love, but they didnae get a chance for it to bloom. Father was betrothed to someone else, so when his father noticed the emotions between them, he hurried the marriage along and sent mother away, givin’ her enough money to start a life in a village with my grandmother. Mother opened an inn with grandmother, and they were livin’ as normal until one day father came into the inn. He was only stoppin’ for a rest with his soldiers as he was on his way to dae some business for the Laird in another clan, but then he saw mother,” she said.
“They were both overjoyed to see each other again, and they sat down over a small feast and some alcohol to talk about their lives. Father asked if mother had married, and she said nay. She asked how his marriage was goin’, and he said that he respected his wife. He never mentioned lovin’ her. That night mother was selfish and did a bad thing. That was all she told me, but when I got older, I understood after grandmother filled the gaps in the story. She had gotten him drunk and seduced him, wantin’ to be with him if only once. She hadnae expected to fall pregnant, and she didnae ken that his wife was barren. He didnae tell her this. He had been upset when he woke up and found that he had cheated on his wife. Mother had expected that he would be, that was why she loved him in the first place. When she discovered her pregnancy, she was nae goin’ to tell him. It was grandmother who sent a letter to him that her daughter carried his child,” she explained. The picture suddenly made a lot more sense to him now.
“It caused them a lot of pain… me birth. Father who had already told his wife what happened now had to tell his wife that mother had what she never could, a child. His wife didnae take it well. Mother also felt very bad when she found out that his wife was barren. It had only been a selfish moment; she had not expected that things would get that far. Despite all the problems, neither of them regretted me existence. Father made a deal with his wife to allow him to see me on the day I was born. It was the same every year as I grew older. Father visited every year on my birthday, just to see me. He didnae talk much to mother, as it was a promise he had made to his wife. I wonder how he must have felt sometimes, caught between love and duty like that. He loved my mother and I, but he had a duty to his wife. For that duty, he forsook me mother, but he couldnae forsake me. Despite the problems he faced, he made sure to see me every year,” she continued. He understood then why the General’s wife had been uncomfortable around him and his brother when they were children. Not being able to have any children of her own and her husband having a child from a lover… Of course, she did not like children at all.
“It was only after mother died that he began to spend all winter with me. I was upset with his wife at first. Nae only did she nae want me to live with them, she also didnae allow my father to spend more than one season with me. It was grandmother who made me rethink me stance. If I were in her shoes… I dinnae ken how I would handle such a thing. Her husband had been unfaithful, and then his mistress had a child for him, a child she could never give him… She must have been so afraid every time father spent time with us. She would have been worried that he would continue his affair. She also would hold me and mother in some contempt. Somethin’ that I cannae blame her for at all. It was probably nae easy for any of us, includin’ my father who stayed so strong, remaining a bright beacon in both our worlds, despite this turmoil. I thought that I was satisfied with one season after that. I couldnae ask for more. I didnae think I deserved to. However, now with father gone, I wish I had more time,” she said.
It was only when she wiped at her eyes that he realized she was crying. He instantly moved to comfort her, squeezing her shoulder. She gave an embarrassed chuckle as she wiped her eyes.
“Ah, I cannae believe I am cryin’ again. I suppose I should take me own advice and nae wallow in what is already done, huh…” she said. Maximus said nothing. He could tell that it was not a moment for him to speak.
“Ye ken, I think it might just be because father was such a good man that I miss him this much. If he didnae love me, and only came to see me out of duty, dae ye think I would still feel the same? Father was perfect… My life was supposed to be the one mistake he had made, and one that he would continue to make… So how was it that he managed to dae even this right?” she asked.
Not knowing what else to do, Maximus moved so that he was sitting and could pull her into a hug. A part of him had thought that she might reject him, but she did not, allowing him to pull her to his chest and pressing her face against him as she cried. Her shoulders shook from her grief, and he mourned silently. It was true that no man was perfect, but the General truly did his best to be as near to perfect as he could be.
This part of the General’s life had not been very important to him, he realized. Maximus had never been very interested in finding out who his lover had been or what his daughter was like. There was even a time when the General had asked him if he wanted to go with him to see his daughter. He had been young then, and very uninterested in girls, so he had said no. If he had shown more interest, perhaps she would have been able to live in the castle town instead of a remote village. If he had been her friend, he would have been able to demand she visit.
“I’m sorry that ye didnae get to spend enough time with yer faither. He asked me once… He asked if I would like to go with him to spend the winter with his daughter. I was but a lad then. I hadnae wanted to meet ye. In fact, I was sulkin’ that ye got to spend the winter with him, and we didnae,” he confessed, chuckling lowly at how stupid he had been.
“I hadnae even considered for a second back then that while I was hoggin’ all of yer father’s attention, ye were teachin’ yerself to believe that ye should be content with the little time ye had with him. I am sorry,” he said.
She had quieted down, no longer sobbing, although she still had her arms wrapped around his neck and her face buried in his chest.
“It was nae yer fault. Ye dinnae have to apologize,” she mumbled into the front of his shirt.
Somehow the action made his heart skip a beat. She brought her hands down from around his neck and instead, just placed them on his chest. Why did it feel so intimate? She probably did not notice anything, but to him, he could feel the remaining barriers between them shatter.
They had gotten close. They had gotten rather friendly with each other, but not enough to hold each other like this. Now he had hugged her to comfort her and unknowingly crossed the line that had kept them from the kind of relationship where holding each other was normal.
She was so soft, just like she had felt in his dream, fitting perfectly into his arms like where she lay cradled against his chest was where she was meant to be. He could not help but think that his thoughts were inappropriate. How could he be thinking about how she felt in his arms when he was supposed to be comforting her? He was still thinking these things, and that was why her words shocked him as much as they did.
“Ye are so comfortable to lie against,” she said, rubbing her face against his chest. His face heated up immediately, and he turned red as a kettle left on a flame too long. “I should have come to ye earlier… I would have if I kent that ye could give such comfortin’ hugs.”
She was chuckling. He was not sure if she was joking or not. He gave good hugs, huh? Well, he would not exactly know. He had not really hugged any women. It was one thing to have affairs, but in an affair there really was not much time spent hugging.
“Thank ye… I think,” he mumbled in response. She got up, and he felt an immediate sense of loss as she removed herself from his body. However, his loss vanished when she sat on the bed beside him where he had originally invited her to sit.
“Can I… Dae ye think I can stay beside ye for a while?” she asked. He hoped that his nodding did not come across as too enthusiastic because he reacted so fast that his neck ached from how quickly he had begun to nod.
“Aye, of course ye can,” he responded. He managed to sound calm, but on the inside, he was overjoyed. He tried to calm his racing heart as she lay beside him, laying her head on his chest. She sighed contentedly as he wrapped his arms around her and ran his hand through her hair.
“Thank ye…” she murmured, and he wondered how to tell her that he was the one who was grateful.
