Her Deadly Angels by Ginna Moran
Chapter 17
Fallen
RAVEN
I HOVER IN the doorway of Elias’s room. Darkness shrouds his figure asleep in his bed, but I can’t get myself to leave him alone. Kase, Dante, and Micah remain downstairs in the living room, discussing things that make my stomach twist.
I should leave Elias alone to rest. He’s been weak and fatigued for two days now. I know it’s best to let him be while we work on finding Vincent, but I can’t seem to get myself to head to Micah’s room to wait for him. Another part of me needs to close the space to Elias to prove to myself he’s still breathing. So that’s what I do.
I ease down on the edge of the bed and carefully rest my hand on his chest. It rises with a shallow breath, and I can’t stop my eyes from watering. How is it possible for me to feel so sad for Elias despite the short amount of time we’ve known each other...in this life? At first, I worried about what his state meant for me, but now? I’ve already grown used to having him around. It’s the strangest thing how familiar his presence alone feels. With him sleeping and the quiet of the world surrounding us, I can focus on just being here with him. How his heart beats beneath my palm and his body seemingly relaxes under my touch.
I don’t know what comes over me, but the urge to sneak into his bed and just snuggle next to him while he sleeps consumes me. It’s such a creep move, and I would punch him if he tried to climb into my bed while I slept. I can’t help myself though. I want to support him the only way I know how, especially after discovering the man he treated like a father was a ghost possessing a mortal, imprisoning the innocent soul all to use Elias in this life.
Curling on my side, I scoot closer to Elias, curling against his side. My movements stir him awake, but he doesn’t freak out and yell at me. He doesn’t get into defensive fighting mode or anything like I expect. All he does is shift his arm away from his side and lets me rest on the crook of his arm while he hugs it around me.
“Everything okay?” he murmurs, his eyelids heavy with sleep. “We’re not under attack by a demonic army or anything, right?”
I smirk and shake my head, drawing my finger across the front of his shirt. “My devils are currently devising plans and shit. Demonic affairs. I figured I’d check on you and...I don’t know why I’m here.”
Elias grazes his fingers up and down my arm. “I don’t need a reason. It doesn’t matter to me, Raven. I’m happy you did. It means that maybe I haven’t fucked everything completely up. I never wanted any of that bullshit to happen, especially with you there. I just—I screwed up. I was selfish.”
I frown, puckering my eyebrows. “You didn’t know.”
Turning over, he faces me, his eyes searching my face in the dimly lit room. “Every time I sit and think, fragmented memories of Grace return to me.”
“What does this have to do with anything?” I rest my head on his pillow, sharing his minty breath, fresh from brushing his teeth. Cigarette smoke faintly lingers on his clothes, but it doesn’t bother me, the familiarity of his smoky, citrusy scent soothes the worry digging deep into my soul.
Wrinkles crease his forehead with his frown. “It has everything to do with it. I asked you to take me to the hunters because I thought that maybe...I want—no, I need—to figure out how to keep us both safe. You carry a piece of me, and I feel it. It’s strange and fucking terrifying. I just—I don’t even know, Raven. Like I said, I fucked up. I’m selfish. I hate relying on demons, but even more so, it rips me open on a deeper level knowing that they get a part of my essence through you.”
“Oh.” I don’t know what else to say. How to feel. “Elias...”
“Raven, I know I don’t have the right to ask anything of you, but I have to know. If you could change things, would you? If there was a way out of Hell’s clutches, would you take it?” Elias grazes his fingers along my jawline, combing the strands of midnight hair falling into my face. His question sounds so sincere, his face full of emotion I don’t recognize.
I blink a few times, trying to break away from his gaze, but something about him grips me tightly, refusing to let me go. “I don’t know.”
His jaw tightens as he turns expressionless toward my response. I don’t know what he was expecting for me to say. It clearly wasn’t this.
“I never expected to...enjoy my life now as much as I do. Kase and Dante...Micah—”
“But Raven,” he says, cutting me off, filling his thoughts with assumptions. Closing his eyes, he inhales a breath through his nose. “You’re my soulmate.”
“And neither of us has control over our souls. Hell does. The devils do. That’s not something that will change for me. I’ve accepted it.” My voice comes out a whisper. “At least this way I don’t have to suffer. I mean, as long as you don’t go dying on me and I can finish this bullshit deal with Lucian.”
“Raven, I...” He falls silent for a moment, sharing airspace with me.
I wish with everything in me that he’d open his eyes and look at me. Let me try to read him. Having recollection of a life I can’t and am not sure I’ll ever truly know or understand sounds the worst. I know I’m the reason he fell from grace and gave his essence to me—and the knowledge is already nearly impossible to accept—I just don’t know how to handle all of this. A part of me knows that I shouldn’t allow myself so close. If I get too close, how the fuck will I end his life when the time comes? Fuck. Another much louder, selfish part of me wants to say screw it all to Hell—quite literally—and to embrace this flawed, reckless desire suddenly coursing through every fiber of my being. I mean, who in their right mind can look at their soulmate and resist such a connection? I’m not a believer in love at first sight but I’m too old to deny something so obvious and true in front of me. At least, according to my soul...and my horny-ass vagina. Why can’t she just be cool with the excellent, mind-blowing fucking she gets now? The greedy bitch. She’s a sin enough herself that she could rule her own kingdom in Hell.
“Raven, how will I live my eternity with you in the arms of others? This is my eternal punishment, isn’t it? God’s given my soulmate to others.” He’s no longer talking to me. I don’t think he’s talking to the Higher Power either. “I deserve this. To think I almost lost you because of my own greed and selfishness.”
“You were an asshole psycho,” I tease, smirking. Sliding my hand into his soft hair, I guide his face closer to mine.
“I’m sorry,” he whispers, fluttering his lashes to gaze into my eyes. “I’m sorry for everything. For how we met. For nearly getting you and me killed. For thinking I could save you from the men you clearly don’t need saving from.”
“You don’t need to apologize. You had your reasons the same as I had mine. I’m just happy you’re not a dickhead anymore.” I wet my lips, turning my attention to his mouth.
“What about a psycho?” His voice lightens with his comment.
I release a breathless laugh. “You know I apparently have a thing for them.”
“Then I guess I’ll have to sacrifice virgins in your honor.” The corners of his eyes crinkle with his smile. “I’ll do anything for another reminder of how sweet and soft your lips are. What they feel like against mine.”
“I prefer vengeance on twisted sickos, to be honest,” I say, “but maybe tomorrow. Right now, I think you deserve to get something you want as much as I do.”
Leaning in, I brush my lips to his, kissing him slowly, sensually, exploring and tasting his mouth. He slides his hand around my waist and pulls my body flush to his until our legs tangle and our pelvises meet, sending passion through my core. Our kiss sparks a dozen sensations across my body as if my soul remembers his closeness despite the absence of our past life in my mind. Before everything terrible that happened in this life, I would’ve slowed down, feeling his body awaken with desire. I would’ve eased away and smiled, saving the pent up desire for another time. My reserve would’ve forced me to make him wait for any sort of progression in a physical relationship.
But now?
I’m too damn old.
I don’t need to live by these self-imposed standards all set on the notion of maybe waiting is what I’m supposed to do. Some would call me easy, slutty, or a frustrating woman who can only think with what’s between my legs as if there is something wrong with enjoying all the fucking. Maybe that’s why I’m going to Hell. What the fuck ever. At least I’m having fun. I’m fully prepared to have all the sinful dick for eternity. That’s currently my idea of paradise.
And I’m ready to discover exactly what Elias and our bonded souls have in store.
Hooking my fingers to his shirt, I wait for him to ease up, so I can drag it over his head. I undress myself next, taking control of the moment. I’m not used to having this sort of power, taking whatever I want. Elias moans and caresses his fingers over my boob, playing with my nipple. I kiss him harder with the sensation and roll onto him, straddling his waist between my thighs. Rocking my hips, I grind on him, watching the lust sharpen his handsome features. Arching forward, I run my fingers over the edges of his chest tattoo. It’s my first time seeing the skull with wings, and I can’t help thinking how fitting it is. A barbell glints in the light, pierced through his nipple, and I graze my finger over it, wondering how sensitive it feels for him. His breathing quickens under my intensity, and I bite my lip and smile, bowing the rest of the way to his chest to lick my way down.
“Raven, I want you. I want you so fucking bad, but what if someone comes in? There isn’t a lock on the door.” Elias massages his fingers into my hair, gathering the wild strands in his hand. He holds it out of the way, his voice deep and breathy. “They’ll do something crazy if we don’t stop.”
“They’re busy. Even if they come looking, the worst that will happen is they might ask to join or watch.” I shimmy my way lower, kissing his taut stomach.
Fuck, his body is hot. I don’t know what I was expecting—because the previous men in my life never looked like this—but it wasn’t this. He might carry himself like a dead man walking, but he’s built with the body of a devil despite being slightly thinner.
“That’s fucking weird,” he murmurs, groaning under his breath.
I slow down as my mouth grazes the waist of his jeans. “Want me to stop?”
“And risk you turning to one of them to finish? Hell no. You’re my soulmate. If you say we’re good, I believe you.” Elias leans up, curling his torso. He pulls me to his face and crashes his mouth to mine, sucking my bottom lip hard enough to bruise before pulling away. “But turn your ass around. You’re going to fucking sit on my face. If they barge in, there is no way in Hell they’re going to catch you on your knees.”
I clench my body at the thought. Elias’s unexpected dominant side turns me on, and I don’t argue, giving him what he wants. He undresses me in a mad rush like our clothes are our enemies. One second I’m trying to unbutton his jeans, and in the next, he tugs me backwards to his face and tastes exactly what he does to me. And damn. I thought my devils acted starved for me—Elias licks and sucks my clit like he’s famished and I’m the only one who can satisfy his cravings.
I moan as he pinches my hips, rocking my body forward and back, going wild with his tongue. His passion sets me off. I grab at his jeans and nearly rip the button off. Unzipping his pants, I slide my hand into his boxers and lace my fingers around his hard-on. He hums between my legs, sending a burst of vibrations over my skin. I clench him between my thighs and gasp, reaching my peak, my whole body exploding with my orgasm.
But he doesn’t stop or give me a break. I can barely concentrate to lick my lips and suck his cock into my mouth. It’s the only thing to slow him down before he leaves my clit tender and aching from all his eager attention. Bobbing my head, I deep throat him, inhaling as I take his length all the way into my mouth, feeling him in my throat. I cup my hand around his balls, stroking them with my thumb.
“God, you are perfect, Raven. It feels so fucking good,” he murmurs, rubbing his palms on my ass cheeks, kissing my thigh with his lustful moan. His hand shifts and he slips his finger inside me, slowly finger-banging me, familiarizing himself even more with my body.
I pick up my pace, rolling my tongue as I suck him in and out, creating more pressure with my mouth. His muscles flex, the soft skin of his hairless balls tightening. Adding another finger to his pleasuring me, he strokes my G-spot, obviously aware of how to get me off every possible way. I tense, scratching my nails into his hips, now more determined to make him cum before I squirt on him. I know I will. I feel the sensation building in my nerves. I never knew it was possible until recently, and fuck. Here it comes.
I yank my head up, afraid I might hurt him or something as another orgasm rips through me, stealing my breath and voice. I can’t scream my ecstasy because it’s so intense that even my soul feels it. Warm liquid splashes across my face, startling me, and I automatically lick my lips and taste the slight saltiness of Elias’s cum dripping from my forehead.
He sucks in a breath. “Fuck, Raven. Shit. I tried to aim away.”
I swipe my hand over my face and blink. He couldn’t move if he wanted to because I’m pinning him down. The sheer craziness of it sends bubbling laughter rolling through my body and I release my thigh’s death grip on his head and flop off. He spins me around and uses his sheet to clean my face the best he can, an amused smile lighting his face as I continue to laugh.
“You are something else, darlin’,” Elias says, his voice rumbling with the lust still clinging to him. I love the way darling drawls with his words, his pet name for me sneaking out. He doesn’t say it often because of his reservations with my devils, but I love when he does.
I giggle again, my face warm with slight embarrassment and my lingering desire. “So are you. You look ready to cuddle instead of suggesting I clean up.”
“Because I am. I’m not wasting this time, worrying about shit I don’t care about. I wanted to kiss you since you saved my ass from Vincent. I didn’t care about the blood all over you then, and I sure as fuck don’t care about this shit.” He pulls me to him and kisses me, proving how serious he truly is.
“You’re crazy,” I say, crinkling my nose.
He eases away, his light gray eyes searching mine. “And selfishly wanting you all to myself for as long as I can manage it. For as long as life is willing to let me before death wins.”
I blink a few times at his words, a wave of emotions crashing through me. I never expected to feel so conflicted over something in my life. It pains me to think about how fragile our existences are and how easy they can be stolen.
“Hey, no. No, Raven. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean—” Elias kisses me again, cutting off his own words. “I just meant I will enjoy every damn minute I have with you.”
I inhale a shuddering breath, trying to control my voice. “This whole situation outside of what’s around us now sucks. I didn’t sign up for this. You were supposed to be an angel that I was going to corrupt and bring over to the fun side. You weren’t supposed to be human. You weren’t supposed to be sick and dying.”
“And indebted to a demon,” he whispers, engulfing me in a hug. “I really fucked up this life, haven’t I? Fucked up the last one too.”
“I just—I don’t know how I’m going to do this.” I groan and rest my head in the crook of his arm. Reaching over, I trace my finger over the pentagram—his demon mark—on his bicep. “It might kill me.”
Elias shifts and peers at me, his brows furrowing together. “I don’t know your soul keepers well—at least not now—but I’m damn certain they won’t let anything or anyone kill you, Raven.”
I close my eyes. “They can’t protect me from this mission. I know you know what must happen. Why haven’t you asked about it? How can you look at me like you do, knowing that I have to be the death of you if I’m going to save myself?”
Elias sighs and sits up, pulling me with him. “Raven, you know I’m dying already. How it happens? I would honestly prefer to have my life end by your hands. At least I know you won’t make me suffer like the rest of the damn universe. I can’t hold it against you. You’re my soulmate, and if this is the sacrifice I have to make to ensure you don’t burn because of me, I will do it. It’s the least I can do.”
If only his words made me feel better. I don’t think anything can. So I need to stop thinking about it. I need to shove the morbid thoughts away like I do with all the other fucked up things in my life. Dwelling on the things out of my control doesn’t accomplish anything. It changes nothing.
But being here and giving a dying man reprieve from the weight of his impending death? I need the distraction as much as Elias.
I nod slowly and lean in, kissing him again. “Okay. If this is something you’ve accepted, then I’ll accept it too. But don’t think I’ll let your soul abandon me in this life. When we get it back from the bastard demon, I’m keeping it for myself.”
A smile plays on his lips. “Is that so?”
“Yeah. It’s mine. Stealing it from you is the only way I can be certain it stays safe.” I roll on top of him and squeeze him between my thighs. “I think it’s why you gave me your essence to begin with.”
He grabs my hips and pushes me lower. “You don’t have to steal it. It’s yours. I’m yours. Do with me as you please.”
I laugh and blush, feeling his body awaken all over again. “Are you sure?”
“Mmmhmm.”
A loud roar echoes through the room, shaking the windows. I’d recognize the guttural beastly noise of Lucian anywhere. My heartbeats pick up pace, pounding hard enough to make me clutch my chest. I hadn’t expected Lucian to show himself, especially after he ignored Kase and Dante’s summons before, and it freaks me out that he’s suddenly here.
“What the fuck was that?” Elias asks, grabbing my clothes from the bed and handing them to me. He rolls off the bed and pulls his pants up, buttoning his jeans in place. He wobbles for a moment, steadying himself on the edge of the bed as he peers at the closed curtain of the window. “Do you think we need to go to the safe room?”
“No, it’s Lucian. He can’t escape the summoning circle.” I follow Elias to the window, shrugging on his shirt. Pulling up the blinds a couple of inches, Elias stands close and we hunker down and peek outside. “I think the devils might have called him, and he finally decided to get off his ass to come here.”
“Shit,” Elias whispers, clutching my arm as he follows my line of sight to Lucian in his human form instead of the scary beast he usually comes to the Mortal Realm in. “That’s Lucifer?”
“Lucian,” I correct, my voice low. The last thing I need is for someone to hear me. I don’t know exactly what Lucian is truly capable of. “He will gut you for calling him by the name he despises.”
“I wonder what they’re meeting about.” Elias flicks the lock on the window and eases it open. The putrid smell of Hell trickles in through the crack, but we both pretend like we can’t smell the rancidness of Lucian’s arrival.
“Me too. Let’s go find out.” I lace my fingers through Elias’s hand and try to tug him with me. “We can sneak around front. If they think I’ll show up, they’ll expect me to strut through the backdoor.”
He plants his feet to the floor, resisting me. “I knew you were crazy, but going out there? That’s fucking nuts, Raven. You don’t know what’s going on. They could be plotting something you aren’t supposed to know and hurt you for finding out.”
“Now, look who’s crazy. They would never. At least, not Kase, Dante, and Micah.” I drop his hand and cross my arms, so he can’t latch onto me. “If you’re scared, you can stay here. I’ll go alone. I don’t trust Lucian not to do something despicable. I’ve seen him beat the shit out of my devils and I won’t let him get away with it ever again.”
“What the fuck?” he mutters, his eyes widening with my words. “You can’t say shit like that and expect me to let you go alone out there.”
“Sure I can. I’m capable of taking care of myself. Lucian doesn’t scare me any longer. He just pisses me off.” Without waiting for him to respond, I stride toward the door.
Elias rushes after me, his footsteps clomping loud enough to make me slow down. “Raven, wait. I know you can. I just...I don’t want you to have to. I can help.”
I press my lips together and close my eyes for a moment. I don’t want anyone to know we’re heading their way, but Elias seems determined to back me up. Spinning, I face Elias. “It’s better if you don’t, but I get it. Just stay behind me and keep quiet. I only want to eavesdrop if I can manage.”
He frowns, scrunching his nose and rubbing his scruffy facial hair. “They’re going to punish you if they find out.”
I shrug and motion for him to follow me. “So what? You know I like that shit.”
Groaning, he laces his fingers through mine, pulling me in close. “I’ll remember that for when the fucker leaves. This tough-babe attitude infuriates and turns me on. I never thought I’d be jealous as fuck of the devils. They’re the last beings who need your protection.”
“I think you’ve forgotten. I want to protect you the most.” I smile teasingly and nudge him to start moving his ass, striding to the stairs and heading down.
We exit through the front door and stick to the shadows as we stroll to the backyard of the expansive property. Muffled voices sound through the air, and I duck behind one of the huge trees. Kase, Dante, and Micah stand outside of the fiery summoning circle with Lucian throwing his hands up in the middle, looking as if he pitches a tantrum once again for not getting his way.
“I should gut the lot of you for being bested by a fucking bottom feeder. If you want my help, one of you must take my place.” Gathering hellfire in his palms, Lucian chucks it at the devils, but it only explodes against the shield. “Otherwise, no.”
Kase scratches his hand on the back of his neck. “Raven will not—”
“Her opinion doesn’t matter!” Lucian hollers, his skin rippling with his fury. The tips of his horns peek through the skin of his forehead. “She’s made you lose sight of our mission. You’ve given her far too much power. I want her dead. We don’t need her help any longer.”
“Now look who has lost fucking sight. You have a contract with her. If you break it, you know what will happen.” Dante hisses and flashes his long fangs. “Raven must claim the throne of Purgatory. It can only be someone of light and dark. She’s who we’ve chosen.”
“I don’t care,” Lucian snaps, fisting his hands. “Go get the bitch now. You will give her to me to care for through the remainder of the mission.”
Elias tenses beside me. “We have to go, Raven. Now.”
Lucian sends another blast of hellfire at the summoning circle, causing the ground to shake. I stumble and crash into Elias. Dropping to his knees, Elias coughs and tries to scramble out of sight, but it’s too late. The four devils stare at us.
Lucian morphs into his beastly form. Towering several feet above us, he snarls and points. “Bring them to me now!”
Elias yanks a dagger from a sheath attached to his belt and throws it at Lucian, hitting him with perfect accuracy in the chest. “Go back to Hell, Lucifer! Go, or I’ll send you myself!”
Fire sets the world aglow.
