Beyond by Katie May

8

Beau

Iheld her to me as she cried, peppering kisses across the crown of her head. Her tears stained my shirt, but I didn’t release her. Couldn’t release her. After what I’d witnessed…

Pure terror froze my muscles when I replayed the moment that monster had slithered towards Bianaca. I’d screamed, using a voice that had barely been used in years, and pounded my fists against the glass. My knuckles were painted in blood from how hard I’d whacked at the glass and door, willing it to bend beneath my brute force. Heath had told us repeatedly that we had to let her fight this alone, but fuck that. I’d been in love with Bianaca Steal my entire life, and I couldn’t allow her to face this battle on her own.

Her tiny fists dug into my shirt as I rocked her back and forth. The disgusting goo that had sprayed across her body had dissipated like smoke the second “Dylan” had died. I didn’t know if it was an illusion or a sadistic game, but either way, I was glad she no longer bore proof of what she’d just endured.

“Shhh. Shhh,” I cooed, stroking her tangled hair.

Dylan…

White-hot rage cascaded through me at the thought of that little fucker. And with the rage came the beginnings of a memory.

I’d known about what he did to her, hadn’t I?

My mind vaguely recalled pummeling his face in with my fist. And then blistering pain in my side as a knife stabbed at me…

I tried to grasp at those memories, tried to bring them to the forefront of my mind, but they trickled away like water from a wrung out, overused sponge.

“Beau,” Bianaca whimpered, holding me tighter. Over her head, I noticed Aiden, Kace, and Tanner staring down at her with varying degrees of sadness, anger, and horror in their eyes. Even Heath’s mask had dropped, revealing a rage so predatory, I genuinely feared for Dylan’s life if he ever showed his face.

None of them went to her, though, understanding that she didn’t need their comfort. Not right then.

Bianaca always maintained an image of toughness and superiority. She acted as if nothing hurt her, as if she were above all of this shit. But I knew she hurt and bled, that she wore her pain tattooed on her heart for everyone to see. Her beauty was juxtaposed by a fragility I doubted she let many people see.

All I wanted was to hold her in my arms and take away the pain I could see plaguing her mind like a life-threatening virus. I wanted to breathe in her vanilla and honeysuckle scent. See the dimples in her cheeks when she flashed that radiant, toe-curling smile. Joke and smile with her until all of that sadness, pain, and fear diminished from her eyes.

Kelly, her men, and Maria all gave us space, though I could tell they were getting impatient. Maria kept casting furtive glances in our direction, her eyes laced with pain and something akin to betrayal.

Nothing had happened between us, and nothing would’ve happened, even if Bianaca hadn’t come to my room. Maria had knocked on my door only a few minutes earlier, and like an idiot, I’d let her inside. She’d been utterly wasted, spewing incoherent ramblings with her hair mussed and eyes glazed. She’d then begun unbuttoning her shirt, though she only got the first few undone before I stopped her. I couldn’t speak with words, so instead, I wrote on a notepad that we couldn’t do this.

And that was when Bianaca had arrived.

Bianaca, who I’d loved since I was a child.

Bianaca, whose inner light somehow chased away the shadows in my life.

Bianaca, who slayed me with one look, one flutter of her lashes.

She’d told me she loved me, and in return, I broke her heart.

Why couldn’t I have just said those words back to her? Why did I have to be such a damn coward?

My therapist had assured me time and time again that there was nothing wrong with me, that just because I chose not to speak did not make me less of a man. But fuck, I should’ve done something. Instead, my own fear nearly lost me the woman I loved more than life itself.

“Beau.” Bianaca sniffled and finally pulled her face out of my shirt, staring up at me with wide eyes. “Y-you spoke?” She phrased it as a question, though I detected a corrosive mixture of awe and suspicion in her voice. I couldn’t even blame her. I hadn’t spoken in years until only very recently, when I talked to the guys about our escape plan. Bianaca had overheard and rightfully felt betrayed. And then there was the whole incident with Maria…

Keeping my eyes locked on her, I brushed my thumb over her plush lower lip. Her tongue instinctively poked out, almost as if she wanted to lick me, before it disappeared back into her tempting mouth.

Aiden cleared his throat. “We’ll give you guys a moment.” He nodded towards Tanner and Kace, who both looked as if they wanted to argue, Tanner especially. He gave Bianaca one last unreadable look before reluctantly following the other two a short distance away, where Kelly, her men, and Maria were waiting.

“Bianaca.” My voice was raspy from disuse. To be completely honest, my throat ached fiercely, the pain reminiscent of hot coals being rubbed over my skin. I brought one hand up to my throat, while my other one remained on Bianaca’s back, holding her to me.

I didn’t know what to say to her. An apology felt so damn inconsequential, considering what she’d been through. She’d had to fight that…that monster alone.

Just like she’d had to face Dylan alone time and time again.

Anger momentarily blinded me, stealing away my vision and replacing it with a red sheen, before I worked to regulate my breathing. In and out. In and out.

“Beau.” Her tiny hand cupped my cheek, and I squeezed my eyelids shut, twisting my head slightly to press a kiss against her palm. “I don’t…I don’t…” Tears trickled down her cheek as she struggled to formulate words.

I pressed my forehead against hers and began to rock us. “Shh. You don’t need to say anything.” My voice broke from disuse on that final word.

“You’re speaking,” she pointed out once again, but this time, her tone only held wonderment. Joy. Surprise. When she pulled back, her eyes were alight with something radiant and bright, something that had my heart hammering in a way that was almost painful.

“I’ve been silent too long.” I felt something travel down my own cheek, but I didn’t lift a hand to brush the tear away. I wanted her to see me, all of me, and know that I was hers. Irrevocably and completely. “I’m so sorry about everything. You never should’ve gone through that with Dylan. If I’d known sooner…”

“Hey.” She captured my cheeks once more, pulling my attention down to her gorgeous face. “Don’t blame yourself, okay? This isn’t your fault.” She hesitated, her tongue snaking out to lick her bottom lip, before she forged on. “I meant what I said the other day. I don’t expect you to say it back, especially if you’re with Mar—”

I pressed my lips to hers.

Immediately, fireworks burst to life behind my eyes and fire ran through my veins. The innate sense of safety and completion engulfed me in a warm embrace. I never wanted to escape it.

This woman…

Her arms…

It was where I belonged.

She released a breathy moan, her arms reaching upwards to wrap around my neck. I could feel her fingers in my hair, pulling at the blond strands, and I deepened the kiss, tilting my head to the side. Her tongue prodded the seam of my lips, demanding more, and I obliged eagerly.

Anything she wanted, I would give her.

But there was something she needed to know first.

I pulled back, ignoring her tiny gasp of surprise, and once again pressed my forehead against hers. “Maria…” I coughed, my frail voice wobbling slightly. “Nothing happened between us. I promise you.”

“Beau, you don’t have to—”

“I love you too,” I blurted out before I could lose my nerve. “I love you more than life itself. Bianaca, you’re my everything. You have been for quite a damn long time. I never wanted to say anything for fear of ruining our friendship, but as I said before, I’m done with being silent. Not when it concerns you. I almost lost you today, and I—”

She molded her lips to mine, the force of her kiss sending me to the ground, her perfect body on top of mine. The curves of her breasts brushed against my shirt, and if there weren’t an audience watching us, I would memorize every piece of her as I’d yearned to do for years. I would kiss down her neck, across each breast, and—

“Tanner,” she said abruptly, sitting upright. Her eyes were wild and frantic, her chest heaving.

Another man’s name leaving her lips had me freezing, my muscles coiling tighter than an angry snake. I didn’t speak—so used to silence, I was able to communicate without any words—and her flushed face twisted behind us, towards where the others were watching.

“Beau, I love you. You know I do. But…” She lowered her gaze to the ground, staring intently at her thighs.

Over her shoulder, Heath, Aiden, Kace, and Tanner were all staring at us.

Heath had an amused smirk pulling up his lips, even as his eyes danced with lust. Aiden appeared almost intrigued, as if he were attempting to solve a difficult math equation in his head. Kace refused to meet my eyes, immediately dropping his head with flames rising to his cheeks.

And Tanner?

He looked fucking devasted.

It was only then that I realized…

I wasn’t the only one who’d fallen for the striking girl with a heart way too big for her own good and darkness tainting her past.

But now wasn’t the time to think about our romantic entanglements, or lack thereof.

“Hey.” I pressed a kiss to her forehead. “I understand.”

“Beau, I don’t—”

“I understand,” I repeated, cutting her off. My eyes dipped to her lips, wanting nothing more than to claim them in a bruising, possessive kiss that told all of the other males present she was mine and mine alone. But…she wasn’t. At least I didn’t think she was. “But now isn’t the time to talk about it.”

Her face scrunched together in confusion before she glanced at the watching crowd and nodded, blushing. She scrambled off of me, her body still trembling from her fight with the monster, before extending a hand for me to take. I accepted it, allowing her to help me to my feet, and pulled her into my arms.

“It’s okay, B. It’s okay. I promise you it’ll be okay. We’ll get out of here. I promise you, we’ll make it out of here alive. All of us.”

I should have been exalted at the thought of coming home, knowing that all of these horrors would be nothing but distant memories, knowing that we would be safe. Instead, inexplicable trepidation and dread unfurled in my stomach.

What more would we have to face before we found our way back to the living?

As I stared over Bianaca’s shoulder at the four guys watching us intently, my mind lit up with a new epiphany. If I had to protect her on my own, I didn’t know if I would be able to keep my promise to her. But with the five of us, we would get her through this. Or die trying.

I didn’t know how I felt about the others, except for the fact that Aiden was an asshole and I didn’t trust Heath, but if they helped me protect her, then I’d get along with them. Surprisingly, I felt no jealousy as I stared at their faces over her head, all of them regarding her with the same reverence and wistfulness I imagine I did.

I was almost positive they weren’t all in love with her the way I was, at least not yet, but that was okay.

As long as they protected her with their lives, we wouldn’t have a problem. But the second one of them betrayed us…

My eyes narrowed on Heath.

…I wouldn’t hesitate to do what needed to be done.

I’d killed once before, at least I suspected I did, and I would kill again in order to keep Bianaca Steal safe.