Beauty and the Outcast by Lucy Darling

9

Whitney

Iguess one should be careful about what they ask for. Over the last week Knox is hardly ever around. He’s often gone before I crawl out of bed, and I’m not sure when he comes home. It makes me wonder if the whole rumor of him sleeping with college girls is true.

Guilt is slowly eating away at me. I thought he might be upset with me after everything that happened. He almost went to jail for me. If not for me he wouldn’t have been in that mess at all. I get him not wanting to be around me. The only thing I had to offer him was an apology. I suppose if he’s not around me anymore I can’t get him wrapped up in one of my messes once again. One I’m surely going to get myself into.

I was told yesterday that my mom and her most recent husband have been around asking about me. Healing Homes told her to take it up with the judge. She’s not going to do that. What she will do is try and track me down. The naïve girl inside of me hopes she is better this time, that she's changed, but I know that’s not true if her husband is with her.

A knock sounds at my door before it cracks open. Faith pops her head inside.

“Mom’s making hot chocolate.” She wiggles her eyebrows at me. I don’t care if it’s the height of summer, I’d still drink Kennedy’s hot chocolate. I don’t know what she puts in it, but it’s addicting. Faith and I have tried to recreate it and fail every single time.

I crawl out of bed, slipping my feet into my slippers to follow her downstairs. My eyes linger on Knox’s door, and I wonder if he’s home.

“The Westcott twins are having a pool party tomorrow. A last hoorah before they close their pool down for the season. You want to come with me?” Not really, but I’m starting to think I’m a major buzz kill. Faith is trying here. She wants to include me, and if I keep turning every invitation down, eventually she’s going to stop asking.

“Sure,” I agree, making her smile.

“Girls,” Kennedy says when we enter the kitchen. “I set you up over here.” She motions to the giant island in the center of the kitchen. It’s where most things go down in this house.

“Just us?” I ask, shamelessly fishing for information on Knox.

“Yeah. My little man is tuckered out, and Oz went to go deal with Knox.” She shakes her head, the side of her mouth pulling down in a frown.

“What now?” Faith picks up her mug, taking a sip.

“He’s been hanging out with Jamie again.”

Faith’s shoulders drop. “Seriously?”

Kennedy only nods, taking a sip of her drink. I do the same. A million questions are now running around in my head. Such as who the hell is Jamie? How long has he known her? Have they dated in the past? Jealousy gnaws at me at the thought of Knox hanging out with this Jamie chick.

Before I finally find the courage to ask any of the questions, I hear a door bang open followed by shouting.

“I’m eighteen. I can hang out with whoever the hell I want to.”

“You’re still on probation.” Oz doesn't shout back, but with his tone he doesn’t need to.

“Wouldn't it be easier on everyone if maybe I ended up back in jail?” My heart drops at his response. Does he not realize that we all care about him?

“Shut up with your bullshit pity and pull your head out of your own ass. I think you might be the dumbest genius I know,” Oz fires right back.

“Ain’t that the truth,” Faith mumbles from next to me.

Knox enters the kitchen and pauses when he sees us all sitting there. His eyes lock with mine for a moment. I see the cut on his bottom lip. He turns his head and keeps on moving, leaving out the other side of the kitchen without a word.

Oz walks in behind him. He runs his hand through his hair. Kennedy walks over to him, wrapping her arms around him.

“For a moment I thought he was getting better,” she says against his chest. Oz’s eyes lock with mine.

“We’ll get him back. Sometimes you have to go through shit to get to the other side,” he responds to her. Faith doesn't say anything, but I can see the sadness on her face. She loves her brother.

It doesn't take a genius to put it together that Knox started going off the rails again the day everything went down with Jett and me.

“If you guys think having me here might be too much, I’ll understand if you want me to go stay somewhere else.”

“What!”

“No!”

“You’re not going anywhere.” They all say at the same time.

“You’re already becoming a part of this family. You’re not going anywhere,” Kennedy says, coming over and hugging me. She smells of sugar and love. She’s what a real mom should be. I hug her back tightly, relieved that they don’t want me to leave.

“Thank you,” I say as Kennedy kisses the top of my head. “I think I’m going to head up to bed. Thanks for the hot chocolate. It was delicious as usual.”

“Of course.” She releases her hold on me.

I pause outside of Knox’s room. I can hear music on the other side of the door. I turn when I hear footsteps coming down the hallway to see Faith headed my way with a look of determination and anger on her face.

“You good?” she asks me as I open the door to my room to slip in. I give her a nod. She goes over to Knox’s door and bangs on it hard. I shut my door behind me to give them privacy before I crawl back into bed.

How can I miss something I never had?