The Fireman I Loved to Hate by Jenna Gunn
Chapter 16
At the station, I’m startled when someone bumps into me. I glare instantly at the thought interloper. Ben cringes and says, “Sorry, bro.”
I close my eyes and shake my head at myself. I sit back and try to unwind, but my posture was garbage a moment ago and everything hurts. When I finally relax, something large cracks in my back.
I’ve been wound up and jittery. I can’t make it stop. I tell myself it’s from the Logan fire. I never did really come down off all that craziness. When I think about the fire, I still smile.
I kept the fire from claiming another victim.
Each time I manage to do that, it’s another victory over fire. No matter how many people I save, it will never undo what happened to my parents, and I know that consciously, but in my heart, I won another victory over fire. And right now, I could use the win.
Nothing about Raina feels like a win. Granted, I had the best day with her not so long ago, but it was followed by the worst, and that makes the good memories sting. And I don’t have anyone at the station to talk to about it.
Ben’s great, but he’s not that guy. Tara and Michael are doing a presentation on fire safety at an elementary school, and Bridges is training volunteers at a small firehouse in a neighboring town. Even Captain is out right now.
There haven’t been any cat calls lately, and I’m glad for that. But I could use a call. Any call. I need a distraction or maybe I should just go workout. Every time the radio crackles, I jump to my feet. When I realize it’s nothing, I sit back down, and my body tenses up again.
I haven’t felt this way since high school. Foggy, out of control. Ready to spring on anyone in my way. It’s not healthy and I know it. In high school, I was a hormonal wreck, hanging on my girlfriend’s every word or gesture, as though it would tell me what she was really thinking. And now, with Raina…
Well, I’m not with Raina, am I?
I run my fingers through my hair and stare the clock down, as though that will make time go by faster. I’m almost off, so my mind spins around who I can talk to, until I land on the right person.
Alyssa.
Now, I’m even more jumpy. She was too busy at the bakery to talk to her last time I visited, so I hope she has a chance to talk today. Her bakery closes at four, but she cleans for two hours after, and when the clock hits five, I spring out of my chair.
Ben asks, “You done?”
“Yeah. You okay to wait until Tara and Michael get back?”
He nods, “Tara said they’d be back with dinner by 5:15. You sure you don’t want to wait for that?”
“Put mine in the fridge, if you don’t mind.”
“Sure thing.”
I’m on the road before I can think about what I’m doing. Alyssa has never liked anyone I dated, and if I tell her the wrong thing, she will hate Raina forever. Not that it matters. Since we’re not together. But if we do end up…I shake my head and focus on the road.
When I get there, the lights are low and she’s mopping up for the day. I see both Alyssa’s new SUV (a Christmas present from her husband Grant), and her best friend Dan’s classic Mustang. I’m glad they’re both here. I could use all their input on the matter.
I knock on the front door, and without looking up, she says, “Sorry, we’re closed.” Her voice is muffled by the glass between us. I knock again and she turns around. “I-oh my gosh, Alex!” Alyssa has her hair in a bun and an apron on over her clothes, looking every bit the role of a baker. She grins, runs to the door, and unlocks it, “What are you doing here, come in!”
“I don’t want to mess up your floor.”
She rolls her eyes and drags me in onto her wet floors. “Watch your step, goofball.”
A man’s voice pipes up from the back, “We’re closed!”
I laugh and she responds, “It’s Alex!”
Dan, Grant, Clara, and their dog, Cocoa, run into the main space of the store. It’s Clara who gets to me first and nearly deafens me with a high pitched squeal of, “Klex!” The two-year-old hasn’t quite gotten the hang of, “Uncle Alex,” being two words, and it always comes out as, “Klex!” Cocoa is next, followed by the guys. Cocoa’s brown fur reminds me of my former furball, and even though she’s a dog, my heart aches just a little bit more.
Dan’s messy blond bun is even more askew than usually. He asks, “Hey, man, I didn’t know you were coming for a visit.”
“Me either,” I admit.
Grant gives me a look, as if to say, “Everything alright?”
I pick Clara up and she rings my neck with her chubby arms. Her version of a hug. Then, Alyssa says, “Let me see her.” Clara squeals and flaps her arms at her mommy, before she’s secured in her grasp. “What’s going on?”
“Still got any coffee?”
Dan says, “I’ll make a fresh pot.”
“I don’t want to be any trouble, man.”
“No worries,” he smiles and gets to it.
Grant pulls some chairs from a tabletop, and we all take a seat while the coffee brews. Alyssa asks Dan, “Can you grab some cupcakes?”
“Will do.” He reaches into the refrigerated display case.
“I didn’t come here to steal your food.”
“I know. You came to steal some advice, I can see it on your face. But I’m starving and I want a damn cupcake,” she says with a grin.
Dan delivers a variety of flavors and it doesn’t matter which I grab, they’re all going to be delicious. Except for red velvet. I can’t stand them. That one is for Grant, who grabs it and asks, “What’s going on, Alex?”
“There’s a girl.”
Alyssa freezes, her eyes sparkling at me. She wants to smile, but she hears the caution in my voice. “And?”
Clara asks, “A gull?”
“Clara, Uncle Alex has a girlfriend,” Alyssa says, a little too pleased with herself. She scoops Clara up and plops her on her lap.
“Klex gull-fend!”
“She’s not my girlfriend,” I tell the table. “We just…” I glance at Clara’s full baby face covered in pink frosting. “We’ve made cake. A few times.”
Thankfully, the table catches onto my meaning, and play along in front of Clara. Dan asks, “So, how was the cake?” I shoot him a look and his eyes dance in his head. “That good, huh?”
“The best cake I’ve ever had. The kind of cake people write songs about. Cake so good, you could cry tears of joy.”
Grant looks at my sister and says, “I know what you mean.”
She blushes and I frown, “Ew. That’s my sister, man.”
He grins, and Alyssa giggles then says, “Well, what’s this scandalous cake baker’s name?”
“Raina Groves,” I tell her everything I can without being inappropriate in front of Clara. Dan fetches the coffee and cream, and they all listen with rapt attention while I share my inability to convince a woman to like me.
“…so that’s why you bought all the pastries the other day?” she beams and says, “You’re in love?”
“I didn’t say love. I distinctly remember that I did not use that word. She keeps saying that I’m too modern for her, but-”
“Being a historical romance author, she’s looking for someone more like the men in those books?” Grant asks. He’s so much smarter than most people that I know.
I nod. “And now, I’m not sure that I’ll ever get to make cake with her again.”
Dan says, “If she wants someone chivalrous and brave, why the cake doesn’t a firefighter fit that description?”
Alyssa nods. “The heroes in those books live relatively cake-free lives until they’re married, and I bet that’s her hang up.”
“But she’s the one who initiates the baking!” I frown in confusion.
Grant asks, “You haven’t initiated…the baking with her?”
“Even our first kiss, she was the one to start it. I was just doing my job saving her cat, and bam, out of the blue, she kissed me.”
Alyssa says, “You’re whole job is to be chivalrous. If there was a modern version of her fantasy guy, it’s you.”
I huff. “The problem, is the ‘modern’ part of that description.”
“Either she’s leading you on for some reason, or she genuinely doesn’t know what she wants out of someone, and neither is very fair to you,” she declares.
I slump in my chair and shove the rest of my chocolate frosted, raspberry filled, chocolate cupcake into my face, then finish my coffee. “I don’t think I care about fairness right now.”
“Well, maybe you could win her over with some grand gesture, something really romantic,” Dan says. Clara climbs across his lap on her way to her father and snatches the last of his cupcake on her way there. He laughs, “Thief!”
She giggles with cupcake in her mouth and almost loses it to Cocoa, who follows her around the table, hoping for accidents.
“That’s it,” Grant says, while Clara snuggles onto him. “You have to steal her heart. Don’t give her a chance to change her mind, full court press, she wants romance, you romance the cake out of her.”
“But what does she like the most in the world?” Alyssa asks.
“From the sound of it, romance,” Dan answers.
“Okay, guys, sure, but I’m not made of money. So, what’s a grand romantic gesture that doesn’t cost a grand? I can’t just throw money around or donate to a cat charity in her name or something.”
Alyssa and Grant laugh, but Dan asks, “Why is that funny?”
“When Alex said he had saved a kitten and bottle-fed it,” Alyssa says, “the reason I gasped was that my brother, the best guy I know, hates cats.”
Dan gasps, “How can you hate cats?”
“I don’t hate them anymore,” I admit.
Alyssa teases, “Oh my god, are you blushing?”
“Clara, your mom’s being mean to me.”
“Mama!” Clara says with as much shock as a scolding nun. The table dissolves into giggle fits, and the youngest of us is perplexed.
After we catch our breath, I tell ask them, “So, what do I do?”
Grant says, “She’s a historical romance novelist who craves romance. Give that to her, instead of more cake. In fact, hold out on cake. Make her beg for cake.”
Alyssa nods. “He’s right. She’s upset that you’ve already caked your brains out. Pack those brains away and focus on the romance.”
Dan agrees, “If you want this one, then you’re on a diet. No more cake for you.”
“Even if she tries to get me to bake?”
Alyssa says, “Especially if she tries it. She won’t want the oven, if she can get the cake for free.”
Dan laughs and says, “He’s just giving cake away, all willy-nilly. You gotta make her work for the cake. Maybe wait till she puts a ring on your finger, man.”
Then it hits me. “Oh my god, I’m the girl in this, aren’t I?”
Grant nods. “I’m afraid so, buddy.”
“Mother caker.”
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