The Fireman I Loved to Hate by Jenna Gunn
Chapter 9
I stroke Monroe’s fur, while I read my last few pages. I’m almost done with the edit on my latest book and I have a bittersweet feeling in my chest. Sort of like after sex with Alex. I’m saying goodbye to my characters and releasing them into the world, come what may.
However sad it is to say goodbye, I get to say hello to my Kanban board of ideas and create a whole new world for my readers to lose themselves to. Thumbtacks, post-it notes, and random pieces of paper litter my board. I get to have the fun of piecing them all together. It’s like a complicated puzzle, and it’s a part of my process.
There are sections for my heroine and my hero, the villain, the foil, six members of the main cast. Each one is lined with bits of ideas, and they’ll crossover into each other, until I hit the right mix of characteristics that make my heart string sing the right tune.
But this novel isn’t totally done yet. I like to edit, while I go through the falling action, because I can add little Easter eggs here and there, that will wrap everything up in a nice bow by the end. Thematically linking the story through to the end is what sets my books apart from the rest.
My writing is like a meditation for me. Only the tap of the keys and Monroe’s purrs exist outside the people on the page. So when a knock hits my door, he and I both jump a mile. Odd. I haven’t ordered anything. It’s not Sunday (Logan supper day) or Wednesday (Logan casserole day), so who the hell is knocking on my door?
Monroe comes with me to answer it. I peek through the peephole for safety, but Lynn had given me one of those tacky wooden signs for my door to be festive. Instead, I was unsafe. I couldn’t see a darn thing through that sign. I sigh and open the door.
Alex Whitmore. The bang-and-bounce guy.
My body throws itself into a knot and I instantly try to shut the door.
He shouts, “I’m sorry, Raina, hang on, I need your help.”
I frown and open the door again. God, he looks good. His plaid flannel and jeans should be on my floor. He’s holding a small bundle at his chest.
“I know I should have called or something, before just showing up on your doorstep, but I never did get your number and well, you’re the only person I thought to call for this.” Then, he lowers his giant hands and shows me what’s in the bundle.
A tiny blue-eyed calico mews at me, and I melt into a squeal. I take the bundled baby from him and tell him, “Get in here!”
He follows me inside and I carry her to the kitchen table. I move the flower vase and other things, so she doesn’t pee on anything important. “She’s precious!” I press my finger to her nose and tell her, “Boop!” She seems to love it and leans forward for more.
“We rescued her and her siblings from a boathouse. Her mom didn’t make it, so we each took a kitten.”
“Uh huh, boop!”
“Thing is, everyone else has someone at home who can watch over a kitten. I don’t. And I can’t keep bringing her to the station. She’s getting big fast, and she likes to explore now, so she won’t stay in a box…” his voice cracks just enough to tell me what he’s getting at, and how hard this is for him.
Alex the cat hater has fallen for this baby.
I look up at him, but before I can say anything, he goes on, “I don’t know cats. I didn’t know I had to get her shots or how to introduce her to solid food. I had to learn everything online, and with the others at the station, but they can’t be here for me 24/7, and I can’t be here for her like that either. I mean, what if there’s a call and I’m gone for twelve hours? It happens sometimes. I don’t have anywhere else to take her.”
My eyes narrow on him.
“So, if you can, would you take her in?”
“You want me to keep your kitten?”
He shrugs. “She’d be yours.”
“Does she have a name?”
“Carmen, like Carmen Sandiego.”
I grin. “That’s adorable. The mask, right?”
His smile lights up the room. “Yes. She looks like a thief.”
Someone stole his heart. But I keep that to myself. “She does.” Carmen gnaws at my finger and I love her already.
He asks, “I have some stuff for her in my truck. Want me to bring it in, or do you want to get her all new stuff?”
“Bring it, Whitmore. I do not need to take time away from my writing to go shopping.”
“Be right back.” He dashes out of my house in a flash. I never expected this side of him. He’s so tender and sweet about a kitten. Who knew that’s what it would take to get him to find his humanity? He brings in two large shopping bags full of formula mix, toys, and blankets. He really went all out.
I think about this stone of a man waking up every two hours to feed Carmen, and the heartbroken expression on his face when he had to eat crow and ask me to take care of her. He’s not the guy I thought he was. “You did good, Alex,” I reassure him. “You were on your way to being an excellent cat dad.”
He smiles, but there’s a sadness to it that makes my heart pound in my chest. Why does he have this power over me? Alex asks, “You sure about that? I feel terrible for this.”
“Which part? The part where you didn’t call me after we hooked up, or the part where you leave a kitten with me to raise it?” I didn’t try to snap, but it came out that way.
His head drops into his hands. “I swear, Raina, I’m not normally like this.”
“Yeah, I heard that before.”
“I’m not. I don’t bail on someone after sex, I don’t not call them after, and I certainly don’t shirk my responsibilities onto someone else. It’s been a very unusual month for me, and I am trying to navigate this as best as I can. And I don’t know what I’m doing.”
My lips smooth into a line, and I huff out my nose. Even though I’m sore about some of it, I know better. “You had to go to work after sex. And you’re not shirking your responsibilities by bringing her here. Bringing her here gives her the best chance she can have. That’s the definition of being responsible, Alex. I’ll still take you to task for not calling, but only by half.”
His head tilts like Monroe’s when he’s confused. “By half?”
I admit, “I could have called you. I know where you work.”
“Oh,” he stares into the middle distance for a moment, then says, “I didn’t even think of that. Yeah. Why didn’t you?”
“Truth is, I had no idea what to say to you.” I shrug, then play boop with Carmen. “It’s a garbage reason, but it’s the only one I’ve got. Well, that and I didn’t know if that would get you in trouble at work, if you had girls calling you.”
He laughs. “No, I don’t have girls calling me. At work or at home.”
“How is that? You’re so handsome.”
He blushes, and it only makes him more handsome. “Thanks. Uh, well, my job makes dating very difficult. Even though firefighters are one of the ‘fantasy’ occupations, my work is hard for a lot of women to deal with. Being there two weeks on and off, means most girls tend to lose interest fast.”
I set Carmen into my last Amazon box on the kitchen counter and ask, “Is that what you thought of me? That I lost interest?”
He runs his fingers through his hair and admits, “I didn’t let myself think of that with you. I couldn’t handle being rejected by someone like you.”
“Someone like me? What does that even mean?”
He leans close and says, “You’re the most passionate person I have ever met in my life. The connection we have is…flammable. And if you rejected me, I would know that I could never have that again. But, if I didn’t call you, if I didn’t see you again, then you couldn’t reject me. And I could look back on that day in your bedroom as a fantasy that no one else would ever live up to, with no regrets, no bitterness. It’s the kind of memory that keeps a man warm in the cold.”
Desire runs rampant through my veins and I grab the back of his head to quickly pull him to my lips. He stiffens up, then relaxes into it. I climb from my seat to his lap and straddle him in his chair. I rip open his flannel, then bite his neck and lick my way up to his ear, which I gently nibble. He massages my ass firmly, which makes me grind against him. As I lift my shirt over my head, I freeze. “Wait, you’re not on duty, right?”
He smiles. “No.”
“Good,” then, I toss it across the room and kiss him.
He grabs my ass, then lifts me from him. “Wait, wait.”
“What’s wrong?”
“That chair limits my mobility.”
“The table doesn’t.” I hop onto the table and lay back to pull my shorts off.
Alex tosses his flannel aside and unbuttons his jeans. Then he stalls, looking like a romance novel cover. “Condom?”
“Third drawer from the right.”
He laughs. “You keep condoms in the kitchen?”
“And aren’t you glad for it?”
“Yeah, hey, it’s a brilliant plan.” He retrieves one. Then he looks at my naked body. “You are gorgeous.”
“Get that on.”
He shakes his head. “You deserve something better.” Then he scoops me up in his arms and carries me to my bed. Alex sets me on the end and says, “Lay back.”
“All right.” I do it, unsure of where this is heading. I had thought he would have jumped me the moment we were in here.
Instead, his fingers stroke up my thighs, while he kneels on the floor between my legs. Then he pulls my legs over his shoulders. Oh god. I haven’t waxed in months. But he doesn’t seem to notice. Or he likes it. He murmurs, “So pretty,” before he spreads me open and suckles on me there.
“Mm, god, yes!” I tremble from the sensation. His fingers twirl their way into me and play with my happiest places inside, while Alex’s mouth devours me on the outside. I’m shuddering suddenly and my thighs shake hard. I start to worry that I’ll crush his head. Too late! I cry out when I come on his mouth and my legs squeeze onto him. I have no control over my body, none whatsoever. My whole body bounces on the bed, using his shoulders for leverage. Finally, the orgasmic tension subsides, and he pries himself free of my grasp.
“Tell me you want me.”
“Mm, hmm, now,” is all I can utter. I have no words after what just happened to my body.
Alex grabs my hips and tosses me up the bed. I watch as he loses his jeans and puts the condom on. Then he joins me. This time, though, he spoons me and slowly pushes into me from behind. I forgot how big he is. Damn. It’s that intoxicating stretch again. Almost too much and yet, never enough. He purrs, “God, you feel so good, Raina.”
I gasp, “Alex.”
“Yes?”
I can’t speak. My mouth won’t work. But I grab his hip and pull him on top of me as I roll onto my stomach. He languidly drives me into the mattress. He is so heavy and dense on top of me, and it feels like exactly what I need. But then, I can’t breathe at all. I tap his body and he lifts us up until I’m on my hands and knees. “Like this,” I gasp.
“Yeah, like this,” he murmurs in agreement.
I never do doggy style, yet it feels perfect with him. Even slow like this, or maybe especially because we’re going slowly. He wraps his arm around me and holds me close, while he kisses my neck. Even this position is intimate and tender.
I feel another one approaching and it’s all I can do not to scream for joy. His cock travels up and down my G spot. I never knew I could feel this way inside myself. It’s excruciating pleasure, so intense that I am on the border of delirium. My cells are vibrating. “Mm, yeah, ohgodI’m,” I yell right before it hits me.
I burst beneath him, rigid at first, pure boneless flesh the next. I scream so hard I’m certain my throat has torn. The vibrations melt every hard part in my body, and each muscle is made of ecstasy.
Everything is shaking around me. Or in me. Alex pants, “Oh, right now!” and he quakes into me. He falls onto my back, causing my hands and knees to fail. We tumble to the bed in exhausted bliss.
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