Beauty and the Beastly Highlander by Kenna Kendrick

Chapter Eighteen

Finley took a few hesitant steps toward Malina. His knees were trembling, and so were his hands, palms soaked with sweat as he tentatively approached her, heart hammering in his chest as if instead of his daughter, it was a wild boar in front of him.

He would have rather seen a wild boar. At least he knew how to handle them.

But Malina’s smile only widened the closer Finley got to her, and that gave him the courage he needed to reach for her and grab her in his arms, holding her close.

“Papa!” Malina shouted, her own little arms wrapping tightly around him.

She remembers me. She kens who I am.

Finley had been terrified that Malina wouldn’t even recognize him, let alone be happy to see him, but she had already proved him wrong. He had missed her dearly, and now that he could finally hold her again, now that he could finally look at her and speak to her, his chest felt tighter than ever, regret crashing over him. He had spent too long away from her, and there was no way he could get those moments that he had missed back. Everything he knew about his daughter was through what Lochlan and Arlene had told him and from the glances he had stolen through the window of his study whenever she was playing outside. He often watched her from afar, always wondering how she could still be such a happy child after everything she had gone through. He wished that he had been a wiser man, wise enough to not withdraw from her out of cowardice.

But what is done is done.

Finley could only promise himself that he wouldn’t let another moment pass without being in Malina’s life.

When Malina pulled back, gazing at Finley, his first instinct was to look away, to hide that scar on his face. But before he could do so, she reached out, fingers gently running over the scar. The simple gesture made Finley’s heart skip a beat, and the smile that Malina gave him told him that she wasn’t afraid of that scar.

“How I’ve missed ye, mo nighean,” Finley told her. Etna had been right. Malina had his eyes, and, in fact, she resembled him more than she resembled Anna. When Finley looked at her properly for the first time after all those years, in the light of the morning instead of the darkness of her chambers, he saw that she was the spitting image of him.

“I’ve missed ye, too, Papa,” Malina said. Hearing her voice was enough to have Finley fighting back tears, knowing that he had neglected her for so long, and he pulled her close to his chest once more, his embrace almost suffocating.

He didn’t know what to tell her first. In fact, he didn’t know what to say at all, overwhelmed as he was. Whatever questions he had, whatever pleas for forgiveness, died in his throat before they could make it past his lips, leaving a bitter taste in his mouth.

Does she ken how sorry I am? Does she understand?

Lochlan had once told him that Malina was much more perceptive than Finley thought and that she already knew more than she let on. But he told himself it didn’t matter. Even if she already knew that he was sorry for everything, he had to tell her. He had to force those words out, no matter how painful it was for him.

“I’m sorry,” he told her, his voice barely audible even in the quiet of the room.

I’m sorry for leavin’ ye all alone. I’m sorry for takin’ away yer maither.

Though he didn’t speak those words, they hung heavy over him, a dark cloud that even Malina’s presence couldn’t lift. A part of him wished that he could tell her the truth. She deserved to know what had happened to Anna, and she deserved to have the chance to hate him if that would be what the news would bring forth.

But Malina was too young for that, and Finley couldn’t bring himself to tell her the truth.

And so, Finley fell silent once more, racking his brain in another futile attempt to speak to Malina. He didn’t even know how to speak to Lochlan and Etna most of the time, let alone Malina, who was only a child.

But he didn’t have to torture himself for too long, as Malina soon took the reins, opening the book that she was holding in her lap to the first page.

“Papa, can you read it to me?” she asked as she slid onto the floor, sitting down with her back against the armchair. Then, she tugged onto his sleeve, an invitation that Finley couldn’t ignore.

As he sat down next to her, he wrapped one arm around her shoulders and held the book open in front of them, skimming through the first few lines. It was no book that he recognized as belonging to him, so he thought Etna must have brought it with her.

When he glanced at the door, his gaze seeking her out, he found that it was closed and that she had left the two of them alone.

And the thought didn’t alarm him nearly as much as he would have thought.

* * *

Etna had only stayed in the library long enough to ensure that Finley wouldn’t panic in front of Malina and attempt an escape. The last thing that she wanted—and the last thing that Malina needed—was for Finley to become fearful once more and reject Malina right to her face. Etna doubted that the child would ever recover from that, and so she stayed by the door, ready to talk some sense into Finley if he tried to leave.

But Finley hadn’t tried to leave at all. At first, Etna could see that panic had gripped him from how he wobbled on his knees as he walked toward his daughter and from the hesitation in his steps, but it didn’t take him long to see that there was nothing to be afraid of.

Seeing them together had put a smile on Etna’s face. She had never seen Malina so happy before, and that grin on her lips was the most beautiful thing that Etna had seen.

And at that moment, Etna knew that there was nothing for her to worry about. She had left the two of them alone, giving them the time that they needed to get to know each other, and she didn’t expect to see either of them come out of that room any time soon. Finley was bound to want to make up for all the lost time, and Malina had shown her just how talkative she can be after the first few weeks.

Etna had hardly made it past the castle doors on her way to the gardens when she stumbled into Lochlan, who was making his way inside.

“Etna!” he exclaimed. “Just who I wanted to see!”

Before Etna could ask what Lochlan meant, he handed her a letter. Etna took it in her hands, frowning at the expression on Lochlan’s face, which she could only describe as ecstatic.

“Good news for ye,” he said, just as Etna saw the name of the sender.

Faither!

Ripping the letter open in haste, Etna could hardly contain her enthusiasm. Ever since she had left her home, she had missed her father more than anything, and she couldn’t wait to see him again. Every letter she received from him was precious. His letters were the only thing that had kept her sane in that castle when she had first arrived.

My dear Etna,

I am so glad that I received the invitation to visit. I am already packing, and I have arranged everything for the trip to the castle. I will see you soon, and I hope to find you happy, despite everything you have written to me in the past few weeks.

But my darling, if you hate it so terribly, then I will collect you and take you back home with me on the way back. I cannot bear to think that you may be unhappy there. I am certain that the Laird will understand.

Your loving Father

“Surprise!” Lochlan said, clapping his hands together in glee. “We all kent that grandmaither invited yer faither to stay with us, but we didna want to tell ye before ye received his letter.”

Just like Lochlan, Etna could hardly contain her excitement. “How long have ye kent?” she asked. “Oh, I wish ye would have told me!”

But of course, Etna couldn’t be mad at Lochlan about it. If anything, a part of her wished that she wouldn’t have found out at all until her father came to the castle since she didn’t think she would be able to sleep until his arrival.

“If I had told ye, then it wouldna have been a surprise,” Lochlan said.

“I dinna ken how to thank ye and yer grandmaither,” Etna told him, clutching onto the piece of paper with all her might.

“Ye dinna need to thank any of us,” Lochlan assured her. “We all love yer faither. Besides . . . weel, after everythin’ that ye’ve done for Finley, it’s only proper that we do somethin’ for ye, too. I dinna ken how ye managed to change him so much, but ye have. He’s a different man noo, Etna.”

Etna’s cheeks heated, a furious blush spreading over her face within moments. She wondered if Lochlan knew what had happened between her and Finley, but she didn’t dare ask anything that could confirm her suspicions. She could only hope that Finley hadn’t told his brother about the night that they had shared, as then it would be impossible for her to even look at him in the eyes.

“He’s with Malina noo, ye ken,” she told Lochlan, quickly trying to divert the subject elsewhere. Lochlan seemed surprised by that, eyes comically wide.

“Are ye serious?” he asked. “How did ye get him to do that? I’ve been tellin’ him for years that he should be more involved, but ye ken how he is . . . he never listened to me.”

“Forgive me for bein’ blunt, but the Laird doesna listen to anyone,” Etna said, drawing a laugh out of Lochlan.

“It’s the truth,” he said with a small shrug. “But ye managed to convince him. He listens to ye.”

“Only rarely,” Etna said. “But he seems verra happy to see her again. And Malina seems happy, too.”

“I’m glad,” Lochlan said. “Perhaps it would be a good time noo to tell him about . . . weel, about that thing I was tellin’ ye.”

After everything that had happened in the past few days, Etna had completely forgotten about Lochlan’s plan to ask Finley’s permission to marry Mairi. Now that she knew that Finley wasn’t the kind of man that others painted him as, though, she didn’t worry as much.

But that doesna mean that he’ll approve of their marriage.

If she had learned anything about Finley when she knew him, it was that he was a stubborn man, and he liked tradition. He didn’t strike her as particularly flexible when it came to such matters, and it wouldn’t surprise her to hear that he wouldn’t allow that marriage.

But there’s na harm in tryin’.

“As long as ye dinna upset him,” she told Lochlan. “It was hard enough to get him where he is. We dinna want him to get worse noo that he’s changin’ for the better.”

With a sigh, Lochlan scratched the back of his head in thought. “I suppose ye’re right,” he said. “Do ye really think that he willna like it?”

“I dinna ken, Lochlan,” Etna said, deciding that telling him the truth was perhaps for the best. “I wish I could say for certain, but I canna. I can only wish ye luck. Try to talk to him when he seems happy. That might help.”

“Ach, he always seems happy noo,” Lochlan said. “Weel . . . I suppose we’ll see. Perhaps yer faither can help me with it.”

As Lochlan all but skipped away, as though the mere thought of Mairi put a spring to his step, Etna wondered if perhaps she should be the one to prepare Finley for what Lochlan wanted to ask him. After all, he did seem to listen to her, and after the night they had spent together, the two of them had gotten much closer.

But the last thing that Etna wanted was Finley to be angry at her, so she decided that the best course of action was to keep her lips sealed.

Glancing back at the letter in her hands, every thought of Lochlan and Mairi left Etna’s mind, and the only thing that was left behind was her excitement to see her father once more. Surely, she thought, he would already be on his way, and it wouldn’t be long until he arrived.

I only need to ensure that he doesna find out about me and Finley.

Her father didn’t need to know. In fact, no one needed to know. Whatever was blossoming between them was still too recent—and too precious—to share it with others. But despite her desire to keep it a secret, she didn’t think that she and Finley were doing a good job at hiding it. She had caught Finley’s lingering gaze on her more than once, and she knew that she must have been looking at him the same way. She was just bracing herself for the inevitable moment when everyone in the castle would find out that they were involved.

But would that be so bad? Finley hasna had a woman for years.

Surely, no one would judge him for it.

But she would be the one to be judged. The people would look down on her for it, and she wouldn’t be able to bear the humiliation that would come with it. It was better to keep everything between them a secret, as difficult as that would be.