Beauty and the Beastly Highlander by Kenna Kendrick
Chapter Twenty-One
Since Finley’s departure that morning, Etna had been trying to focus on her classes with Malina, but she found it difficult, her mind providing her with scenarios of everything that could go wrong. She was only partly paying attention when she heard an approaching carriage, the sound drawing her gaze out of the window. For a moment, she paid no mind to it—it was hardly uncommon to see a carriage there—but then she saw the man who stepped out of it, and her heart stopped in her chest.
Faither!
“Look, Malina,” he told the little girl as she pointed out of the window. “Do ye wish to come with me and greet me faither?”
Malina nodded, grabbing Etna’s hand as the two of them rushed out of the castle, Etna only coming to a stop when she was right in front of her father.
“Etna!” Dougal exclaimed just as Etna pulled him into a tight hug, holding him tightly. She couldn’t help but notice that he looked thinner, frailer than usual, and it infuriated her.
“Faither, have ye na been eatin’?” she asked. If she had known that a grown man like him couldn’t take care of himself, she would have never left the village. “Ye’re thin as a stick!”
“Dinna fash yerself, lass,” Dougal said. “I’m na an old man, na yet, and I can take care of meself. Ye just like to worry.”
As he spoke, Dougal’s gaze fell onto Malina, and he gave her a deep bow, one that had Malina giggling. “And this must be the wee lassie,” Dougal said. “It’s verra nice to meet ye, Malina.”
Though Malina didn’t speak, her cheeks red from all the attention, she returned Dougal’s bow, making him and Etna laugh.
“Weel . . . where is the Laird?” Dougal asked. “I would think that he would come greet me.”
“He’s na here, Faither,” Etna told him. She wished that they could have known that her father would be there that morning. Perhaps she could have convinced Finley to delay his attack, knowing how much he and Lochlan liked her father. “He and Lochlan, they both left early this mornin’.”
“Do ye ken when they’ll return?”
Etna shook her head. She could only hope that it would be soon and that it wouldn’t be like the last time when Finley had almost died.
“Come,” Etna said, quickly changing the subject. “Finley and Lochlan may na be here, but I ken that there is someone else who would love to see ye.”
With that, Etna led her father to the drawing-room, knocking gently on the door before entering the room, with Malina still in tow. As she had expected, she found Arlene there, sipping on her tea.
When Arlene saw Dougal, she beamed at him, hurrying to stand and greet him. “Dougal, how nice to have ye here, finally,” she said, grasping both of his shoulders as a greeting. “Ye’re getting’ old.”
“I canna say the same for ye,” Dougal said with his usual, charming smile.
“Ach, Dougal . . . there is na reason to lie to me,” Arlene said, and after that, the two of them sat down, and Etna decided to leave them alone for a while to catch up. As she left the room with Malina, the little girl looked up at her, beaming.
“I like yer papa,” she said. “He’s nice.”
Etna didn’t know how her father managed to make every child like him after only interacting with them for a few seconds, but what she did know was that she envied that ability. If only Malina had liked her as much when they had first met, it would have made everything easier.
After she finished her lessons for the day with Malina, Etna sought out her father, and she found him strolling around the gardens. Etna fell into step next to him, laughing when her presence startled him.
“It’s nice to be back,” her father said. “Do ye enjoy it here? Be honest.”
“More than I did when I first came here,” Etna said, though the truth was that she enjoyed it very much for several different reasons. Part of it was the joy of teaching Malina, and another part was Finley and the relationship that had blossomed between them, but she would never tell her father about the latter. “I can see why ye enjoy teachin’. Malina is a verra bright bairn, and just seein’ her grow makes everythin’ else worth it.”
“So, ye dinna hate this place anymore?” her father asked, and Etna shook her head.
“Na. Na, I dinna.”
Dougal stopped walking and turned around to face Etna. “I was offered a job in Edinburgh,” he said. “They want me to teach there.”
Etna gasped, the news bringing a smile to her face. “That’s wonderful news!” she said. “Ye’ll take the job, of course?”
“Aye, I will,” her father confirmed. “I fear that I may na be as good as I used to—”
“Nonsense,” Etna interrupted. “I havena met a better tutor than ye, Faither.”
“Weel, ye might surpass me sooner than ye think,” he said. “But I wanted to ask ye . . . do ye wish to come with me? I ken that ye didna want to come here in the first place, and how much ye love Edinburgh. Ye dinna have to stay here anymore. I’ll speak with Arlene. I’m sure she’ll understand.”
Edinburgh. It’s all I ever wanted.
How many times had Etna wished that she could go back home? How many times had she cried herself to sleep in that castle, wishing that she was anywhere but there? For as long as she could remember, she wanted nothing more than to find an opportunity to move back to Edinburgh, and she had always been determined to do whatever it took.
And now her father had taken a job there and moving back sounded easier than ever. She didn’t even have to go through with the bargain that she had struck with Finley. She could leave with her father and never look back.
But how could she? The excitement that she thought she would feel upon having the opportunity to return to Edinburgh never came. Her heart didn’t beat faster in her chest. Her stomach didn’t turn itself into a knot. Her thoughts revolved around staying rather than leaving, and her own reaction surprised her as much as it confused her.
She didn’t want to leave Malina and Finley, that much she knew for certain.
“Are ye happy?” her father asked, pulling Etna out of her thoughts.
She didn’t know what to say to him. If he had told her about it only a few weeks prior, Etna would have jumped at the chance to go back to Edinburgh. Under any other circumstances, she would already be packing her things, eager to leave. But now, she could only smile and nod as she tried to subdue the panic that welled up inside her.
There was no telling how her relationship with Finley would evolve, and Etna knew as much. She didn’t expect him to suddenly fall madly in love with her, nor did she expect herself to do the same. Perhaps one day—a day that could come sooner than she thought—she would be ready to go to Edinburgh, and everything she had with Finley would be nothing more than a pleasant memory.
But it wasn’t just her desire for him that held her back. She couldn’t leave him while he struggled with his clan, and she couldn’t leave Malina while she was reconnecting with her father. Her job there wasn’t done yet.
How will I tell him that I canna go?
She was certain that the main reason why her father had accepted the position in the first place was because of her so that she could go back to Edinburgh. Her father had never minded living in the village. If anything, he enjoyed it, and Etna hated to think that he would make such a big change in his life just for her when she couldn’t bring herself to leave Finley and Malina.
“Do ye ken when ye’ll be goin’ to Edinburgh?” she asked him, hoping that it wouldn’t be too soon.
“As soon as possible,” her father said. “I have already secured a house, and I ken that ye’ll love it. It has a lovely room for ye, and a study that will be big enough for both of us.”
Her father’s consideration only served to make Etna feel worse for not wanting to join him in Edinburgh. It had been all that she could talk about, nagging him for years to find a way to return, and now that he had found it, she was so ungrateful.
What will he think when I tell him I canna go?
Etna knew her father well, and so she didn’t think that he would be upset with her. But he was bound to be disappointed, and Etna couldn’t bear to think that she would be the source of that disappointment.
Perhaps I should tell him noo.
But as much as she tried, the words would simply not move past her lips. Every time she glanced at her father, she lost her nerve, and in the end, she gave up. She would just have to tell him at the end of his visit, right before he would leave, as that seemed like the easiest option to her.
We canna spend hours talkin’ about it if he’s on his way home.
“Ye dinna seem verra excited,” her father said, perceptive as always, but Etna was quick to smile and shake her head.
“It’s all sudden, that’s all,” she said. “But I am, Faither. And I’m verra happy that ye’re here. Do ye ken how long ye’ll be stayin’?”
“A few weeks, at least, I expect,” her father said. “Arlene’s invitation made it clear that I am na to leave until I’ve had me fill of the place.”
“Is it like ye remember?” Etna asked.
“Aye, it is,” her father said. “I thought that I would be walkin’ into a dungeon by yer descriptions of the place, but na much has changed. Why do ye hate it so much here? What dinna ye like about the place?”
Etna looked around them, drawing her bottom lip between her teeth as she observed the servants and the clansmen and women who went about their days around them. A lot had changed just in the past two weeks, and the castle was a different place than the one she had originally seen.
“It wasna like this,” she said. “Na when I came here. This is a verra recent development.”
“What do ye mean?”
“I mean that the Laird wouldna allow anyone to even smile or talk, especially in his presence. He had all the windows boarded up, and he wouldna allow any feasts, any dancin’ or singin’.”
Her father hummed at that, his own gaze flitting around the courtyard. “That doesna seem to be the case, noo.”
“Na,” Etna confirmed. “But only because the Laird is a changed man. Na one could believe it at first, but it’s been two or so weeks since it happened.”
“I wonder what made him change,” her father said, and Etna averted her gaze, hoping that he wouldn’t notice how her cheeks heated and reddened at the question.
“It must have been the victory against the brigands,” Etna said, trying to cover up the real reason for Finley’s change, even though her father couldn’t possibly have guessed that it was all because of the night they had shared. “The clan has been havin’ a serious problem with them, and for the first time, they managed to defeat them in an attack. But many of the men were wounded, even the Laird. I suppose his brush with death gave him a new perspective.”
“He wouldna be the first man to change after that,” her father said. “Weel, as long as he changed for the better. I only wish I could have seen him and Lochlan before they left.”
“They were both verra excited to see ye,” Etna said. “But they’re bound to come back soon. And since ye’re stayin’ for so long, I’m sure ye’ll get to see them.”
“I mainly want to see ye, mo nighean,” her father said as he took her hand in his, giving it a gentle squeeze. “The house is empty without ye. But I suppose that willna be an issue in Edinburgh. Ye always had a way of fillin’ up the house. I’m certain that yer friends will be verra happy to have ye back, and they’ll be visitin’ us all the time.”
Etna felt a knot block her throat at that, and she tried to swallow it as she plastered a smile onto her lips. Her father sounded so happy when he spoke those words, and Etna was instantly overcome with guilt, the corner of her lips trembling as she smiled.
I’m sorry, Faither. I’m so verra sorry.
Her lies and her half-truths were the last things that her father deserved. She had never lied to him before, not even about little things, and lying to him now seemed monumental, an action much worse than she could have ever imagined.
But a half-truth was better than the disappointment of the whole truth.
