Forget Me Not, My Scottish Love by Allie Palomino
Chapter Twenty
“Good morn, Abby,” Cameron greeted as she descended the stairs.
“Traitor! Don’t speak to me,” she hissed.
“Abby, ye’re sick. Ye doona mean what ye say.”
“I know what I saw that night,” she said, grabbing hold of the chair to ease her swaying. She could barely stand on her own. “And I know you want to hand me over to my father. You and your family. Liars, all of you!” she said, sobbing.
“I havena been with another woman, Abby. I doona want ye to return to yer father,” he said, restraining himself from yelling.
By now, the whole family stood watching.
“I saw you that night, yet you deny it.”
He stood up, furious.
“Doona ever question my integrity. Ye’re seeing things. Yer distrust of everyone grows every day! Ye’re ill, Abby. Ye’re not eating, ye’re having visions, and ye’re paranoid of everyone,” he said, looking into her once vibrant green eyes. Now they were mere pale and muddled green disks.
“You’re saying this so that you can petition for annulment, and have me out of your life. Out of all of your lives. You want to be free to lie with any whore you choose!” she said, her lips quivering. She began sobbing.
He stepped forward to offer her help, but she held her palm up.
“You’ve destroyed this marriage. Simply annul it then, Cameron. Annul it. I cannot keep fighting it. You desire it so strongly! I hate ye. I hate ye!” she yelled, trembling with rage.
“Ye plan to kill yerself to end our marriage, and ye think that’s better?” he said scathingly. He looked at her very pale face.
“I would never do that. How blasphemous! How dare you.” She clutched her cheek as if he had slapped her.
“Ye lie, Abigail, yet ye accuse me of lying.”
“Blasphemy!” she whispered, hurt. “Blasphemy,” she murmured.
Then she collapsed.
“Will it not stop!” Alice hurried over to Abby. “Hasna she suffered enough?” she sobbed. She ran a gentle hand through Abby’s hair and when she pulled back, a chunk of hair came with it. Alice squeaked in shock.
“Abby, my love. Abby? Doona do this, Abby! Awake, my love, awake!” Cameron said desperately. He leaned down and kissed her pale, cracked lips. He touched his forehead to hers. “Abby, my love?” he whispered, tears blurring his sight.
Bess came in just then.
“Can ye do anything, Bess?” Cameron asked, knowing the answer.
“Nay. She doesna wish to eat,” Bess said, helplessly.
“I will force her to.”
Bess looked at Cameron. “There comes a time when a body canna accept food, even if it needs o’ wants it. I’ve never encountered another who refused to eat as Abby has. I doona know the full consequence o’ such an act.”
“Dear Lord, no. No!” Cameron bellowed in pain. “I love her,” he whispered in pain, holding her thin hand.
“Take her upstairs, Laird. Let her rest,” Bess said.
“Help her, Bess.”
“I doona know how to, Laird.”
Cameron gingerly picked her up. “She weighs no more than a bairn,” he said, tears blurring his vision.
Upstairs, he placed her in her bed and tucked the covers around her frail, thin body. Her cheeks were sunken in and her eyes shadowed.
“I canna take seeing her this way,” he said brokenly.
“Get some air, Cameron. Go. I’ll stay with her,” Alice said, rubbing his back. He shook his head but Alice insisted.
“I will call on ye should anything happen.”
He nodded, took one last look at Abby, and left.
A week passed and Abby was too weak to leave the bed. She’d only been drinking her tea and broth, but that was all. Gillyanne had to hold it for her because Abby couldn’t hold it up herself.
One morning, Alice came in.
“May I?”
Abby nodded.
“Now doona get all fussy. I brought ye some light fare.”
Abby’s lips curled into a small smile.
“I’m sorry.”
Her small, sad voice touched Alice. “None of that, now,” she said patting Abby’s hand. She indicated the food. “‘Tis some hearty broth from stew meat, and dry day-old bread. It should sit well in yer tummy despite nay having eaten in a long while.”
Abby lifted her nose. “Smells nice. I’ve nay even had a drop of tea today.”
Alice beamed. “Can I help ye eat?”
At Abby’s nod, Alice took some broth and fed Abby. Abby nearly choked, but recovered and swallowed. Her eyes widened and she smiled.
“Tastes good.”
“I’m relieved, lass.”
They stayed in quiet thought as Alice fed her. “Nay too fast lest it comes back up.”
Once Abby had eaten the food and Alice was satisfied that she would not be retching it out of her stomach, she placed the cup and trencher aside.
“I apologize, Alice.”
Alice turned concerned eyes on Abby.
“I don’t know why I have been behaving as I have as of late.”
The other woman nodded. “We are all worried for ye.”
Abby’s eyes became guarded. “Pardon me, Alice.” She stopped speaking as coughs overtook her. Her hand returned with blood. They shared a concerned look.
“I…well, I do not believe that Cameron is.”
“But why not? ‘Tis the truth he is my son, but I know his faults. Adultery isna one of them. My son loves ye, Abby. Of that, I’ve no doubt.”
“How can ye know this, Alice?”
Abby saw Alice’s eyes moisten. “The way he looks at ye, is the way me Robert looked at me.”
Abby shook her head as a tear fell down her cheek.
“I saw him, Alice. He was with another woman. I also have difficulty believing it, but I saw him.”
“Abby, it is with no disrespect that I say this, but ye have been exhibiting unusual behavior.”
“I know.”
“Then could ye nay at least allow that mayhap ‘tis ye who cannot remember things well, or mayhap yer eyes were nay seeing accurately what ye saw?”
“Alice. I know what I saw.” She paused to cough again. “He had a woman on him. He was kissing her.”
“Abby I-”
“Alice, please. I don’t have the ability or strength to argue. Do you not believe that it hurts me to have seen my husband with another woman? What would I have to gain from such an accusation?” Abby shook her head when Alice made to speak. “Nay, Alice. I love you. I love you all, even my hurtful and philandering husband, but I am certain of what I saw.”
Alice looked down for a moment. “Verra well, Abby.” Alice lightly slapped her lap and rose. “Well, ‘tis about time I leave ye to rest. If you have a need of anything, please call for me.”
Abby nodded. “I’m sorry, Alice. Thank you for visitng. ‘Tis the truth I already feel improved some after that fare.”
Alice smiled sadly. “I am happy to know that, dear.”
Alice gathered the remainder of what was left of Abby’s food, nodded one last time, and left.
Abby couldn’t help the tears that welled.
She’d seen Cameron with another woman.
Hadn’t she?
Yes.
She knew she saw Cameron that night because every time her weak heart beat, she felt the knife move with it.
“I just want to see how Abby is farin’,” Bess said as she paused in front of Abby’s room.
Cameron was too emotional to speak. He simply nodded his head. They entered and saw Abby sleeping soundly. Her color had improved some. She examined Abby before turning to them.
“Now that she is restin’, I want to get some added nourishment down ‘er throat. Yer mother ‘elped ‘er eat stew broth an’ stale bread. I think I’ll prepare ‘er a bit of ‘erbal tea,” she said, turning to leave.
“Wait, Bess. Here’s some and it’s still warm,” Aidan said, lifting the cup. He sniffed. “Bess, no wonder the clan hates yer potions, they smell awful,” Aidan said wrinkling his nose.
Bess snatched the cup out of Aidan’s hand and sniffed it. She tasted the liquid and spit it out.
“What is it?” Cameron asked.
“Taste this, Laird,” she said, giving him the brew.
Cameron took a taste.
“That’s awful, Bess. It’s bitter, but isna it the tea ye fix for Abby?” he asked.
“Aye. Well, nay! I prepare it, but I doona always bring it to Abby. I know that Gillyanne makes it for ‘er at times. I taught Gillyanne which herbs to use, but apparently, she hasna been using them,” she said, feeling Abby’s forehead.
“Well, quite honestly, from what I’ve observed, Gillyanne solely makes the tea and has made it for Abby for quite some time.”
“Are ye sure, Aidan?”
“Aye, Keith.”
“Impossible.” Keith breathed. “But yes, it could be.”
“She’s been poisoning Abby, hasna she, Bess?” His steely gaze reflected rage.
“Aye, an’ the more I think on it, I would say for quite some time now, Laird.” Bess shook her head, her eyes wide. “How could I nay see this? I would say it began since about the time Abby began retchin’ and refusin’ to eat. Makes sense. This dose, however, was meant to end ‘er life,” Bess said, sniffing the brew again. “This is purely a poisonous concoction, with no healin’ ‘erbs at all.”
“She’s been poisoning Abby this whole time,” Cameron repeated in shock.
“I apologize, Laird. I simply believed it was her lack of eatin.” Bess looked down, visibly upset.
“Nay. Ye’re not to blame. We should have all been suspicious but Gillyanne had us fooled. Damn it.” Cameron cursed, fisting his hands. “I’ve never considered killing a woman, but I’m considering it now.”
Cameron looked over to the bed and to Aidan.
“Aidan, stay here with Abby. Bess, let’s search Gillyanne’s room,” Cameron said, hurrying out. “Follow us, Keith.” To Bess, he ordered, “Ye can identify the herbs and poison she’s been using against her.”
Once in Gillyanne’s room, Cameron found where the herbs were hidden- in a trunk against the wall.
“Dear Lord, Cameron. These plants are the worst of the lot. These three are the ones I smell in Abby’s tea. This plant here- oh my!” she said, looking up to him.
“What?” he asked anxiously.
“This particular one is to prevent conception. If taken while carryin’, ‘twould cause the loss of the bairn.” Her whisper came to a stop and she looked up at him with a mixture of horror and sadness. Her eyes moved to Keith.
“She’s been taking this since she’s been here, for years, hasna she?” he asked, his eyes showing his fury.
He tried putting aside his feelings, only focusing on Abby for the moment.
Bess and Keith stared a moment at each other.
“What is it?”
Bess shook her head at Keith, and Keith cleared his throat.
“Cameron, I…”
“This is nay the time to have yer tongue stop wagging, Keith. Out with it, man.”
Bess and Keith shared another look and Keith’s eyes found Cameron’s.
“Abby was carrying yer child.”
Cameron’s angry face changed to one of confusion.
“Nay. She didna tell me. She would have.”
Keith shook his head. “Nay if she didna wish to disappoint ye if something happened.”
“She was tryin’ to protect ye, Laird.”
Cameron’s eyes locked on Bess’.
“Exactly just who knew about my bairn.”
The silence told him all he needed to know.
“In the beginnin’, only I knew. When she lost the bairn, Amy caught her cryin’. She told Amy, then.”
Cameron focused his eyes on Keith.
“When she began acting unusual, Amy told the rest of us. We agreed that we wouldna tell ye, since ye had enough hardship with Abby’s behavior.”
Cameron turned his back to them to gather his thoughts.
“She was carrying my bairn,” he whispered. Cameron sat down, rested his elbows on his knees, and placed his head in his hands. “My bairn.”
Keith and Bess looked at one another.
“Brother. Can I get ye something?”
“‘Tis a might late for that, doona ye think?”
Cameron looked up.
Keith shook his head. “I am verra sorry that it happened, and I’m equally as sorry that ye discovered the truth in this manner, but ye must understand. We couldna tell ye. Ye were on the cliff of desperation as it was.”
Cameron looked down.
“I’m going to kill her.”
Keith and Bess remained silent. Cameron raised his head again.
“She may have done the same with me.”
“What?”
Cameron looked at Keith. “I have nay been feeling well.”
Keith slowly nodded. “D’ye recall the night I helped ye to bed?”
Cameron shook his head. “Barely.”
A light went off in Keith’s eyes. “I helped ye upstairs. Ye had sensitivity to light and sound, and were practically slurring yer words. Ye’d fallen asleep downstairs.”
At Cameron’s silence, Keith added, “Ye’d had a fair amount to drink.”
Bess clucked and held up another herb. “This one would make the effects o’ too much ale, worse.”
Cameron’s fists were so tight, his knuckles cracked.
“Bess, can the poison be undone?” he asked, scared of a denial from Bess.
Bess shook her head. “I’m nay sure, Laird. All I can do is prepare an herbal tea to help her- a proper herbal tea. She would need to eat, too. But I’m afraid there is no cure.”
“Do these herbs explain how she’s been acting?”
“Why yes, Laird. They make a person paranoid an’ make a body weak. Aye, they explain ‘er behavior.”
He looked over to the corner of the room. He saw one of Abby’s dresses. A fleeting memory came to him.
Gillyanne had deceived them, and deceived them well.
Abby had been correct- he had attempted to make love to another woman. Then he remembered the ale. He saw the large container and went to it.
“She gave me ale in this container, Bess. Can ye tell me what she put in it?”
She smelled the pitcher.
“Aye, Laird, ‘tis this same herb,” she said, holding it up again. “This in enough quantities worsens the effect of being addle-brained.”
The room began to whirl around him.
The whore!
The urge to kill her was so strong, he flexed his hands. His breathing was shallow and hard, as if he had run miles.
He looked in her closet and something caught his eye. He saw sticks, of varying sized.
“Well, that would be useful for moving things from afar, no? To get someone to believe that she is seeing things move of their own accord?”
Cameron took calming breath. “I’m going to kill her,” he said coldly. “Bess, make her the tea. Do everything to help her, please.”
She nodded and left the room. Cameron and Keith rushed to Abby’s room. Cameron’s mind was spinning from all that they had uncovered.
“Aidan and Keith, find Patrick. I want ye all to find Gillyanne. Once ye do, doona let her go,” Cameron instructed and Aidan nodded, leaving his brother behind.
Cameron looked down at his poor wife. He gingerly picked her up in his arms and took her over to his room, their room. He laid her on their bed and sat next to her. Cameron reached out to touch her once gleaming hair and a tress of her hair remained in his hand.
He looked at her concave abdomen, where his child was once safely carried. He closed his eyes as joy and pain inundated him simultaneously. He could not make sense of it all.
He prayed for the soul of his lost bairn.
Cameron didn’t know how long he stared at her, but before he knew it, Bess came in with the tea.
“ ‘ere, Laird. I made it stronger to ensure she gets its nourishment. I put cream to soften it in her stomach. Hold ‘er ‘ead up,” she said.
He gently picked her head up and Bess poured the liquid through Abby’s parched lips. Abby was too far gone to protest. Once all the liquid went down with a massage of her throat, Bess looked up at him.
“I’ll repeat this several times a day. These herbs have curative properties an’ should ‘elp ‘er. Now it’s just a matter o’ waitin’, Laird. The Lord will ‘ear our prayers. He’ll not take such an innocent lass.”
Cameron could do nothing but nod.
Hours later, Keith returned. Cameron was bent over Abby’s frail hand, lost in prayer.
“Cameron, we couldna find her. She was last seen rutting with one of the guards.”
“‘Tis no surprise. She’s a damned whore,” Cameron said, furious. “I want two warriors to guard this room. No one but the family is to get in, understand? She’s been tormenting my wife all this time, and I was never the wiser,” Cameron said through clenched teeth. “I’ve failed my wife, Keith. What have I been doing? Where have I been?” Cameron shook his head. The anger and self-hatred he felt for himself made him want to roar in fury.
“Cameron, ye did what any of us would have. Ye threw Gillyanne out those months ago, and ye were in the right. Then she appeared here, beaten. I despise Gillyanne, Cameron, but even I would have welcomed her here to recover. Abby was in accord with Gillyanne recovering here. Blame Gillyanne, not yerself. Mother was right. She said not to trust her. It isna yer fault, Cameron. Even Amy believed Gillyanne.”
Cameron shook his head. Nay, he wouldna allow his conscience to be eased while his wife suffered because of his lapse of judgment.
“She gave Abby one last strong serving of tea laced with poison. Bess is unsure whether she’ll get better. Get the guards. I’m itching to get my hands around that whore’s neck,” he raged.
Gillyanne had disappeared. There was no sign of her. The clan was put on notice and ordered to come forth should they see Gillyanne. Cameron was pleased to see he had his clan’s support. They were eager for her capture and vowed to keep their ears and eyes on alert for Gillyanne. They cared about their Lady’s welfare.
Cameron did not leave her. He thought he saw her complexion improving. Her cheeks weren’t as pale. He had taken over Bess’ ministrations. Several times a day, he had raised her head and slowly poured the creamy herbal tea down her throat. The remainder of the time, he would sit contemplating their lives. He was beyond consolation, blaming himself for her miserable state.
The despair and desolation were too much for him.
He’d at last been broken.
What was he without her?
Cameron couldn’t live without her. He’d told God that. He asked Him to take him instead, that a life without Abby was no life at all. He had raged against Him, cursing Him for not caring for his innocent wife. In the end, Cameron, on his knees, pleaded for the soul and life of his beloved, because only then would be returned his own soul and life.
The family and clan nervously awaited Abby to get better. Bess didn’t give them too much hope, though.
“She’s been poisoned for a long while. The body canna recover from that so quickly, if at all. I canna give ye all false ‘ope.”
“I’ll send for a priest,” Keith said.
“Nay! Ye’ll nay send for a priest, because she will not die. I willna let her,” Cameron said, his face contorting in a mask of rage. “Get out!” he bellowed, turning back to Abby, on his knees.
They left him with Abby.
Cameron still never left her side. He took care of her. Just as a precaution, he would drink some of the herbal tea and broth to make certain it wasn’t poisoned. He kneeled over her form, with his hands folded around one of hers. He held their joined hands to his forehead spoke to her, begging her not to leave him.
He bathed her slowly and lovingly. Taking a cloth, he would gently wipe her body. Where once she was lush, she was now bones. He was able to count each of her ribs. He would change positions with her if only he could.
His grief had no boundaries. He feared his love, his wife, was dying.
It felt like an eternity before Abby stirred awake. She moved her head to the side and saw Cameron. His head was bent, her hand in his, and he was sleeping. The site of him warmed her cold body.
Abby attempted to open her mouth, but it hurt. A look of confusion crossed her face. She tried again.
“C-Cameron?” she asked in a bare whisper, weak.
He stirred some.
“C-Cameron,” she said again, trying to be a little louder. She moved a finger on the hand he held.
Cameron stirred again and raised his head. Confusion clouded his eyes until he saw her watching him.
“Abby?” he whispered hoarsely. He blinked again. She saw him focus on her face in puzzlement.
“Abby, ye’re awake.” He closed his eyes in relief. “Thank ye, Lord,” he said reverently, his head facing up at the ceiling, eyes closed.
She looked confused.
“Wh-Why?” she asked.
“Ye doona remember anything, Abby?” he asked gently, taking a cloth and wiping her face.
She shook her head; it was barely a discernable movement, but she could do no more without great effort.
“Ye’ve been sick, Abby.” His voice was gentle. He didn’t want to tell her the truth, if she didn’t remember. There would be time for that.
“Sweetness, allow me to call Bess. I’ll return in a moment.”
She slightly nodded her head.
Cameron hurried outside the chamber. He turned to one of her guards. “Lachlan, find Bess and tell her my wife has awoken. Hurry,” he commanded.
“Aye, Laird,” the big man said eagerly.
Lachlan hurried down the steps and sought Bess. She was in the kitchens, preparing Abby’s tea. She looked up when Lachlan came in.
“Bess, our lady is awake! She’s awake. Cameron bids ye to hurry!”
She quickly finished the tea, adding honey and cream, and hurried up the steps.
“Cameron, I’m so tired. ‘Tis difficult…to speak…”
He kissed her palm for the hundredth time since she awoke. “Yes, sweetness, ye’re tired. Ye need to rest,” he said, not taking his eyes off her pale face.
She closed her eyes until she heard the door open. Bess came in.
“Bess?” she asked.
“Aye, darlin’, old Bess is ‘ere. How d’ye feel?” Bess felt Abby’s forehead.
“Terrible. Like I’m dried on the inside,” she said hoarsely.
“Drink this, it’ll make ye feel better. Then ye must drink some broth. Ye canna eat for awhile,” Bess said, handing the tea over to Cameron.
Abby went to lift her hand with some great effort and she let her hand drop down. She looked questioning at Cameron.
“What’s wrong?” she asked, frightened. Tears began falling from her eyes and her breath caught. She groaned in pain.
“What’s the matter?”
“It hurts to c-cry,” she whispered weakly. Her dry lips trembled.
“Doona be scared, sweetness. Doona cry, my love. I wouldna let anything happen to ye,” he said, brokenly. He cursed himself as he said those words, feeling like a fraud. He hadn’t kept her safe at all.
He kissed her palm.
“Drink this tea. It will make ye feel better.”
She tried to sit up, but her hands could not take her weight, however slight that it was now.
“Let me, my love,” Cameron said. He gingerly picked her up underneath her arms and sat her up. He looked into her pale face. He touched his forehead to hers and rubbed his nose against hers. She gave a slight smile, but her dry lips cracked more. She brought her hand to her lips and looked up at him in bewilderment.
“It’s all right,” he said smiling into her eyes. “I love ye, Abby,” he whispered, staring intently into her eyes.
“I love you, Cameron,” she said, still confused at the state in which she found herself.
He slowly put the cup up to her lips and she drank. Bess then came in, having left to get some broth.
“Drink this broth to regain strength, hmmm,” Bess clucked.
Cameron alternated between the broth and the tea, until she was done drinking them both. Abby lifted her hand to brush a lock of hair away from her face. Part of the lock remained with her hand.
“My hair!” she whispered in horror.
She stuck out her hands and they were trembling. She looked at Cameron.
“All is well, sweetness.”
“What happened? I want to know, Cameron!” she demanded thickly.
He looked down on the bed, not knowing where to start. He didn’t want to upset her but refusing to tell her would upset her anyway. He sighed.
“It was Gillyanne. She poisoned ye.” His voice was hoarse.
“Poisoned?” She took a moment to let that stew. “If I hadn’t convinced you to let her stay…” Abby said quietly.
“Ye wanted her to recover from her injuries. Then, ye thought she had changed, Abby.” He squeezed her hand. “Ye have a good heart.”
“A foolish one.”
“Nay.”
“She knew exactly what to do and say.”
“Aye.”
“You weren’t with another woman.”
His exhale was slow. “Nay. She placed herbs in my ale. It made my head muddled and eyesight blurry. I thought it was ye, nay her, when I kissed her.”
Abby sucked air in as if she was drowning. She looked into his eyes, tears flooding them painfully.
His cupped his shaky left palm against her cheek.
“I apologize,” he said, helpless to ease either of their torments.
“Nay,” her whisper was airy and so light, he had to strain to hear her. “I have something to tell you.”
He squeezed her hand again. “I know.”
Her eyes were wide, and tears immediately fell from her eyes. “You do?”
Cameron nodded and explained how he found out about their lost baby.
“She did it, didn’t she?” Abby’s voice was trembling. She bit her bottom lip as she began to cry. “This is my fault. If I hadn’t asked you to let her remain here, she wouldn’t have killed our baby.” Her voice broke at the end. “I allowed the wolf in to roam amongst the sheep.”
It broke him that she should blame herself for having a good heart.
“‘Tis nay yer fault,” he said forcefully.
“I’m sorry.”
Her voice was small and she began to cry.
“In her room, we found long sticks.”
Her eyebrows crinkled.
“We believe they are useful for moving objects from afar.”
Abby sucked in a breath.
“When I find her, I will kill her.”
At her vow, he brought their joined hands to his mouth and kissed hers.
“Ye willna do anything that endangers yer life. My heart canna bear it.”
The pained look she gave him had him reaching for her and holding her to him.
“I’m sorry,” she said in an anguished whisper, tears slipping down her face.
“Ye’ve nothing to be sorry for,” he said angrily. “‘Tis I who am sorry. It wasna yer fault, nothing was, Abby. I’m supposed to protect ye, and our bairn. And I didna,” he raged in a whisper. “I didna,” he repeated in an anguished whisper.
She rested her palm in his hair.
“Cameron,” she said through her tears. “Cameron, I love you,” she said, weeping. “I love you.”
He closed his eyes. “I love ye, my sweet Abby. Forgive me,” he whispered. “I doona know how I can ask that of ye when I canna forgive myself.
“There is nothing to forgive, my love,” she said, tears slipping down her cheeks.
They stayed quiet, wandering in their thoughts.
“I’m tired,” she said, breaking the silence.
“I’ll leave ye to sleep.”
“No, Cameron!” she pleaded. “Don’t leave me, please. I cannot be without you.”
His heart began to beat again as he got into bed next to her. He took her into his arms, kissing her forehead.
“You have my heart, Cameron,” she whispered.
He tightened his hold slightly, as to not cause her pain.
“And you, mine, sweetness. For always.”