The Earl, the Lady and the Song of Love by Fanny Finch
Chapter 27
“Cheer up, will you? You look like you are about to attend a funeral, not your own wedding.”
Nigel sighed as Ethan’s words rang in his ears. He knew his brother was making sense, but he could not help himself.
It was his wedding day. When he had asked Imogen to marry him and she had said yes, he had been filled with so much joy. Yet, he had believed that the joy would be nothing compared to that which he would feel on the day he finally made her his wife.
Alas, he could not even bring himself to smile.
How had things turned sour so quickly? All had been going wonderfully well until he had taken her to the teahouse the afternoon of their engagement ball. He wished with all his heart that he had not. If only he could go back in time.
That night at the ball, she had looked so beautiful. He had wanted to take her into his arms and dance into the night forever. However, knowing that she would never fully belong to him had held him back, discouraging him from doing any such thing.
He had not even been able to look at her. It had hurt too much. Every moment he had spent by her side, his heart had ached, and he had used all of his willpower, keeping his tongue bridled.
Then as they danced, she had thought to confirm his thoughts.
“I just could not help myself after seeing . . .” Exeter.
She had not been unable to hold back her sadness after seeing the wretched man because she still cared for him, perhaps even wanted him for herself. How could she have thought it wise, kind, to tell him that? At their engagement ball, no less! While they had their arms around each other in a dance! He never would have thought her so cruel. Did she really believe he felt nothing for her? That because they had agreed to a loveless marriage, he would not be hurt to hear that she fancied another? Pined after him still?
Of course, he could not bring himself to listen, so he had cut her off, keeping his distance for the rest of the night.
In the time since he, who had always been so eager to see her, had been careful to stay away. Only visiting when it was entirely necessary.
As the day drew near, the feeling of impending doom had hung over his head like a dark cloud. Only the night before, he had thought of canceling the wedding, but he could not bring himself to do that to Imogen.
He loved her too much to surrender without putting up a fight.
Despite all, he still wanted to hold on. He wanted to try all he could to make her love him.
“I still believe you would be better off speaking to her about this,” Ethan said again, breaking into his thoughts. “Let her know you know about the Baron and hear what she has to say. For all it matters, you could be wrong in your thinking. You said she was very close to Miss Fitzwilliam. There is the chance that it is her old friend she misses, not the baron. Have you considered this?”
In truth, Nigel had not. It made no sense.
He shook his head. “Miss Fitzwilliam betrayed her. All but seduced the baron. The betrayal of a friend is always more than that of a stranger. Imogen would not forgive her so easily.”
It was Ethan’s turn to sigh. “Sometimes, brother, I really do wonder if you have any wits about you. Either you do not or where Miss Hartford is concerned you simply lose your senses. Maybe, it is that you do not know the woman you claim to love at all. Have some faith in her, will you? The more I meet her, the more I feel that you are wrong. I only hope you do not ruin something beautiful because of your stubbornness and pride.”
Nigel would have given what he deemed a perfect retort, but his mother and Arthur entered the room just then.
“The church is waiting, Nigel. Come now.”
It is time.
He glanced at Ethan who shook his head at him. Then with his fingers, lifted the side of his lips.
Nigel knew his brother meant to tell him to smile. As he stepped out into the chapel, releasing one deep breath, he did just that.
***
“It is time.”
Imogen took one last long look in the mirror as her father said those words.
Her heart would not stop trembling. In truth, the whole of her body racked with tremors. She was not certain she could do this, but she was aware there was no going back.
No matter what had become of her relationship with Nigel and how much the sour development hurt her, she would marry him this day. She would become his wife. She would continue to love him and hope to God that someday he too would come to love her in return.
Deciding that she was ready to walk down the aisle, she turned to her father and nodded.
“I am ready.”
Lewis looked at her. “Are you certain? I have a carriage ready just outside the chapel. If you are having even the slightest of doubts, Imogen, I would ride you all the way to Scotland myself and leave father to handle the commotion that is sure to erupt. I mean it.”
Imogen chuckled softly. “I know you do.” And for a moment, she was tempted to take his offer.
“You still want to do this?”
She nodded. “Yes.”
He placed a tender kiss on her forehead then. “In that case, my dear, I will gladly escort you to that man you so clearly love.”
Her eyes widened as she stared at her brother. How did he know?
As if he could read her mind, he answered smiling, “Anyone with eyes can see it, my dear. It is quite unfortunate that the Earl happens to be blind.”
Imogen slapped him playfully, and he cried out in mock hurt.
“Ouch! That is not very bridely.”
Their father simply chuckled. “Perhaps, you should have thought better before insulting the man who is going to be her husband. Come now, dear child. We must not keep them waiting any longer.”
Imogen nodded, taking his arm, and Aunt Rachel came to her.
With an affectionate kiss on both cheeks, she said, “What your mother would have given to see this moment in person. It does not matter. She is here with us, anyway. She always will be.”
Imogen fought back the tears as she nodded. “Yes, I believe so too.”
She had learned to be content with the little family she had in the years since losing her mother. Yet, she missed her, especially on this day.
She wished with all of her heart that her mother had lived long enough to see her wedding. Perhaps, she would have known how to solve the dilemma Imogen found herself faced with.
“Remember what I told you,” Aunt Rachel whispered in her ear. “Speak with him when you are alone. Clear the air. I am almost certain all will be resolved. He loves you. That much I can tell.”
Those words remained in Imogen’s heart as her father and brother led her to the start of the aisle.
The congregation rose, the possession began, and as they walked down the aisle, she looked up to the man who would be her husband.
Their eyes met and she saw in his, emotions unspoken. A myriad of them. She hoped with all her heart that in their midst, there was at least a little love.
Finally, they reached him and with sweet whispers and kisses, her father and brother handed her over to him.
He took her hand and together, they stood before the priest.
When he had touched her, her hand tingled, his nearness awakened the butterflies in her belly, and her heart could not seem to recover from how he had been looking at her earlier.
The joining ceremony passed by in a blur.
“I do.”
“I do.”
Two gold bands, fitting perfectly into two fingers.
A chaste kiss that made her toes curl, her soul sigh.
The priest’s blessing.
And finally, the announcement, “Lords and Ladies, the Earl and Countess of Kensington!”
So, it was sealed forever.
As soon as they left the chapel, they were scurried off into an open carriage that had been prepared specially for the bride and groom.
Waving at well-wishers they rode all the way to Kensington manor where the wedding feast was to commence.
They had chosen a small chapel in Kensington for the ceremony, so it was not a long ride. There, family and friends who had not joined them at the chapel were waiting.
The feast began almost immediately. All the while, Imogen could not keep her eyes off her dearest husband. He was inarguably the most dashing man in the entire room.
Good thing it was, that he could not seem to keep his eyes off her either. He appeared to be mesmerized, and she found herself wondering if everyone else was right and it was her who was wrong.
If he truly loved her and a simple, honest conversation would save them both all the heartache.
As night fell and the feast was over Imogen was approached by her lady’s maid.
“My lady, would you like to retire now? I will help you get ready for . . .” she trailed off, color flooding her cheeks.
Imogen flushed crimson as warmth spread through her body. Of course, there was that matter. So caught up in what was happening between then, she had had little time to think about their wedding night.
Being reminded put her out of sorts. There were so many feelings which she could not explain.
The maid showed her to the chamber that adjoined Nigel’s. It was to be hers from thereon, she was told. Another girl joined them and together they started getting Imogen ready for her wedding night.
Afterwards, the ladies bathed her, scrubbing her the cleanest she had ever been from head to toe. When they were done, they took great care to dry her hair and fashion it beautifully.
Then, they soaked her in alluring fragrances and helped her into a flimsy excuse of a night dress.
She was told it was a bridal robe. White, made from transparent muslin. She was as good as naked.
The girl was giggling happily as they finally finished. It was easy to see that they were proud of their work.
“The Earl shall be very pleased to see you, my Lady. You look like an angel,” one of the ladies said.
“A fairy,” another one piped.
“Indeed, Lord Kensington chose well,” the first lady said again.
Imogen did not even try to keep herself from blushing. She had a feeling she would continue to do so for days to come.
“Will you like us to wait with you until his lordship comes? I am certain it will not be long now,” one of the girls asked.
Imogen gave it a thought before replying. She shook her head eventually.
“No. I shall be fine on my own. Thank you very much for your help.” In fact, she very much wanted to be alone.
Dipping into curtsies, they took what little they had brought with them and left the chamber. As the door closed, Imogen breathed a sigh. Finally, she was all alone with her thoughts and herself.
She thought back to the events of the day. It had been a long one indeed. Then, she thought of Nigel. She wondered if he would come to her that night. If he wished to lie with her.
He had to at some point. They both had a duty to perform to each other. Still, would he come that night? When he had been so careful in recent days to stay away from her?
She hoped with all of her heart he would. If only to talk and clear the tension-filled air between them.
She stayed awake, waiting for a very long time. She knew when he returned to his own chamber. Listened as his feet shuffled through the room. Alas, he never came to her.
When the light went out in his chamber and the clock struck midnight, she finally went to sleep, tears rolling down her cheeks.
***
After pacing back and forth for over two hours, Nigel finally put off the light and retired to his bed. Sleep availed him still.
Knowing that she was only a few feet away and all he had to do was go through one wooden door to see her, made that night the most difficult of his life.
It was taking all his willpower to keep from going to her. Heavens knew he wanted to, with all of him.
Unfortunately, he was afraid she would not be waiting. Even though the still lit gas lamp told him she was not yet asleep, he feared, nonetheless, that she would refuse him.
What reason would she have not to, considering the way he had all but avoided her in the past weeks?
Beyond that, could he lie with her, knowing she longed for another? Certainly not! He could not do such a disservice to himself. Even more so, he could not do it to her.
It was driving him mad, yet he knew deep down, waiting was the right, the noble thing to do. He who had not wished for a love-match could simply not imagine lying with a wife who did not love him. He would have laughed at himself if only he had the heart to find the humor in his predicament.
He heaved another deep sigh. No matter how long it took, no matter how much it killed him, he would wait until she returned his attentions. Only then, would he make her his wife in every sense.
God help him so.
Her light went off then. Believing that she had finally gone to sleep, he shut his eyes tight and bade sleep to carry him far away into a dreamless land.