The Earl, the Lady and the Song of Love by Fanny Finch
Chapter 1
Hope
18 years later
Her heart thundered in her chest as her stomach churned with anxiety. Staring out through the carriage window, she could not help the worried thoughts that zipped through her mind so quickly. She could hardly keep up with them.
What if they are displeased with me? What if I am not what they expect?
And then, there was the most nerve-wracking question of all, one that had haunted her since she had found out that she would be traveling to London…
What if they send me away again?
Hope’s hands twisted in her lap as she watched the city of London pass by her carriage window. She had never been to London before, and it was larger than she had anticipated. Intimidating, in truth.
It was so different from the small village she had grown up in in Wales. Just thinking about the village made her homesick, and she wished her aunt had been able to accompany her on her journey. She had been instructed to return to her parents alone, however, and her dearest Aunt Beatrice had been left behind.
“Do not be nervous, my dear. My sister, your mother, loves you so very much. You will find a good home with her and your father.”
Her aunt’s parting words rang in her head, but they did not offer Hope the comfort they should have. Despite her aunt’s insistence that her parents loved her, she had always doubted their affections, having never met them, nor witnessed any attempt on their part to claim her.
It filled her with a strange desire to please them and prove them wrong for having sent her away as a baby, yet at the same time she wished that she could order the carriage turned around so she could return to Wales and the life she had always known.
With a sigh, she dropped her head back against the seat and prayed the whole ordeal of meeting her parents for the first time would go smoothly.
A short time later, the carriage turned into a short drive that led up to a grand looking townhouse. When the vehicle came to a stop, Hope stared out the window and found she was unable to move. Even when the footman opened the door for her to exit the carriage, she sat frozen in place, terrified of what waited for her in that house.
“My Lady?” The footman’s tone was concerned when she remained still for several long moments. “Are you…are you well?”
Blinking, she stared at the footmen.
No. I am far from well. I am upending my life for two people who did not want me to begin with.
She did not say those words out loud, however.
Instead, she delicately cleared her throat and answered, “I…I am quite well, thank you. Just gaining my bearings.”
The footman gave her a sympathetic look, and she realized he must know who she was. Which meant he likely also knew what her parents had done to her.
Hope’s cheeks burned with embarrassment as she took his hand and let him help her out of the carriage. She had not considered before that her abandonment was not a secret to everyone.
What must people think of me?
Straightening her shoulders and raising her chin, she was determined not to let anyone see her anxiety and hurt. Her aunt had taught her to be proud, and she would not let the uncertainty of her new life take that from her.
When she reached the front door, it was opened for her by an older man in a butler’s uniform of black coat and trousers.
“Welcome, my Lady,” he said with a bow as she crossed the threshold. “I am Mr. Wiggins, your family’s butler. We are all so happy to have you back with us.”
She offered the butler a small, shy smile.
“Thank…thank you,” she murmured.
He extended his hand. “If you would follow me, Lord and Lady Ramsbury are waiting for you in the drawing room.”
Hope’s heart raced as she followed the butler through the foyer and down the hall. He stopped at a closed door and opened it announcing her arrival before stepping aside to allow her to enter first. Hope’s steps were hesitant as she made her way into the room, unsure of the reception she would receive inside.
The two people who were supposed to be her parents were standing in the middle of the room, waiting for her. She slowed to a stop before she drew close to them, suddenly nervous that they might try to touch her, or embrace her. When her eyes fell on Lady Ramsbury, she felt a little startled at how closely the woman resembled her.
Tall and slim, with auburn hair, the Lady’s features were nearly identical to her own, save for her eyes. While Hope’s eyes were a deep blue, Lady Ramsbury’s were a light green. She was smiling at Hope, her eyes shimmering with clear, but tentative excitement.
The man standing next to the Countess did not look nearly so pleased to see Hope. He was shorter than his wife, and rounder, with brown hair and blue eyes that matched Hope’s own. He was regarding her with a calculating glint in his eye, as if assessing how best to deal with her.
“Oh, my darling girl,” Lady Ramsbury murmured, taking a cautious step forward. Hope forced herself not to flinch back. “It is so good to see you again after all this time.”
Remembering the manners her aunt had drilled into her, Hope dropped into a clumsy curtsy.
“It is a pleasure to meet you, Lord and Lady Ramsbury,” she said.
Raising back up to her full height, she met her mother’s gaze and saw a flash of hurt cross her eyes.
“Oh, my dear, you do not have to be so formal with us,” the woman said, her tone strained as she tried to maintain a pleasant demeanor. “We are your parents, after all.”
Though technically true, to Hope they were virtual strangers. Her mother had written to her over the years, but that hardly lent itself to creating a deep and personal relationship between them. She did not know how to act around them, and could not bring herself to relax as Lady Ramsbury requested.
A tense and awkward silence fell between them. Hope let her gaze flicker to her father, but his expression remained cool and impassive as he regarded her. She dropped her eyes from him, unnerved by his scrutiny.
“Shall…shall I show you to your chambers?” her mother asked tentatively.
Hope nodded immediately, grateful for the opportunity to leave that room.
Lady Ramsbury appeared relieved. “Follow me, then.”
She moved to walk past Hope, who quickly turned to follow her. Lord Ramsbury did not join them, but Hope truly was not concerned by that. She had the sense he was not particularly happy to see her.
Perhaps he is always off-putting and aloof? It is not as if I have any idea what he is truly like.
Her mother had mentioned her father time and again in her letters, but she never went into great detail about the man, nor gave any indication that he missed his only daughter.
Hope decided she would worry about him at a later time, as her mother led her out of the room and toward the grand staircase in the foyer. First, she needed to try to get to know the woman who had made some effort to stay in touch with her throughout the years.
As they began ascending the stairs, her mother glanced back over her shoulder to gaze at Hope.
“You know, I have been waiting for this day for years now,” she confessed in a soft tone. “Ever since you left here, I have counted the days until your eighteenth birthday.”
“Truly?” Hope murmured as Lady Ramsbury turned away again.
If you missed me so terribly, why did you not send for me sooner?
She gave her head a sharp shake, banishing the bitter thought. Though she had never been given a true explanation as to why she had been sent away, she had always gotten the sense from both her aunt, and her mother’s letters, that her banishment had not been Lady Ramsbury’s idea.
“Of course,” the woman replied as they stepped onto the second floor. Turning, they continued up another flight of stairs. “You must know, darling, that despite our separation, your father and I have always loved you dearly.”
A small whisper of doubt tickled the back of her mind, but she forced it away. She let silence fall between them as they made their way to the third floor of the house. When they reached the landing, a single door faced them.
“Here we are,” her mother said, a note of excitement slipping into her tone. She opened the door with a flourish and stepped aside to let Hope enter first.
Crossing the threshold, she came to a sudden stop and stared in disbelief. They had entered a large sitting room, with a marble fireplace, lush furnishings, and windows that nearly reached the ceiling and allowed sunlight to stream into the space. Across from her was another door, open this time to reveal an even larger bedroom beyond.
“What…what is this?” Hope asked, recognizing it was a rather silly question. She did not know what else to say, though, as her shock at the sheer size of the suite appeared to have stolen her wits.
“These are your new chambers,” her mother declared, clapping her hands together. “Do you like them?”
Hope was certain her collection of rooms was bigger than the entirety of the cottage she had shared with her Aunt Beatrice in Wales.
“Do…do these take up the entire floor?” she gasped.
Her mother nodded. “As a matter of fact, they do. We thought you would appreciate the space and privacy. Especially as you…adjust to life in London.”
Hope swallowed against the thick lump that was forming in her throat. She was feeling overwhelmed by everything she had encountered so far; London, her long-absent parents…the ridiculously large rooms that would now be her own.
“Thank…thank you,” she stammered, her cheeks reddening with her growing anxiety.
There was another beat of silence before her mother said, “I thought you and I could go out and do a little shopping. You will need new dresses for the London season, and…”
Hope whirled to face the woman. “Oh, please…not today.”
The words tumbled from her mouth in a rush she could not stop, startling them both.
“That…that is alright,” her mother nodded at length. “You must be tired. It would be better to get some rest, yes?”
Hope released a sigh of relief. “Yes, thank you. I am sorry, there is just so much for me to take in. I do not know if I can handle much more today.”
Her mother’s lips tilted up at the corners, but she could not hide the flash of disappointment in her gaze.
“There is no need to apologize, my dear,” she insisted gently. “I was not thinking of everything that you have been through already. We can save the shopping for another day. I will leave you now so that you can relax and familiarize yourself with your rooms.”
Hope forced a grateful grin. “I do appreciate your understanding.”
“Of course.” Her mother gazed at her a moment, lingering in the room. At length, she released a heavy breath. “Well, then, I will be going. If you need anything, do not hesitate to call.”
Hope nodded. “I won’t. Thank you.”
With one last, long look, her mother finally turned and walked out of the room. Hope watched her go, not moving from where she stood until the door shut firmly behind her. Once she was alone again, she released a heavy breath and felt her shoulders sag.
That could have gone…worse.
It could have gone better, though too. She had expected awkwardness, but she had not fully realized just what it would mean for her to reunite with parents who were almost complete strangers to her. She did not know what to think of them, and worried what they thought of her.
Chewing her bottom lip nervously, Hope began to explore her new rooms. They were truly beautiful and spacious, but they did not feel like home. She moved from the sitting room into the bedroom, with its rich furnishings, large windows, and oriental rugs, never having felt more out of place in her whole life.
Her aunt’s home had been small, but warm and inviting. Her parents had sent them plenty of money through the years to provide Hope with every comfort, but her aunt was a simple woman and Hope had grown to share her simple tastes. She had been a loving caretaker who had provided Hope with a cozy, comfortable home. In comparison, the large townhouse felt a little…cold.
I am too afraid to touch anything for fear of breaking it.
She stood in the middle of her new bedroom and gazed around, feeling an imposter, stepping into someone else’s life. Her chest tightened and she felt a wave of homesickness overwhelm her. Blinking back sudden tears, she turned and blindly ran back out of her rooms and into the hall.
She desperately needed air. Making her way back down to the first floor of the house, she snuck through the hallways, careful not to make any noise as she searched for the kitchen. Someone would notice if she walked out the front door, and she was not interested in being escorted anywhere.
Hope just wanted to be alone.
It was sometime before she managed to find a stairway to the lowest level of the house, where the kitchen was located. There were very few people below, and she was able to slip unnoticed out of a door that opened onto a cobblestone drive. When she was out in the open air, she felt some of the tension leave her shoulders.
Double-checking that no one was following after her, Hope hurried up the drive and through a large gateway to walk the streets of London blissfully alone.