The Earl, the Lady and the Song of Love by Fanny Finch
Chapter 3
Hope
Several days passed as Hope became used to her new surroundings. London was exciting and overwhelming. She had ventured out a few more times, though she did not sneak out again and was always accompanied by a chaperone.
She kept her distance from her parents while she adjusted. In part, she struggled to learn how to interact with them. Her mother made attempts to connect with her, offering to be her escort when she went out, or inviting her to spend time in the garden, but Hope declined each time as gently and politely as she could.
It was not that she did not want to get to know them, particularly her mother, but she was…cautious. A deep dark part of her feared she would grow attached to them, and then they would send her away again.
It was likely an unreasonable fear, but since she still did not know why she had been sent away the first time, she could not be sure that she would not make some error that would push her right back into banishment.
However, she began to feel guiltier and guiltier with each look of hurt that flashed across her mother’s expression when Hope turned her down. Deep down, she knew that the Countess genuinely cared for her and wanted to build a relationship with her. Hope was making that difficult and causing her pain as a result.
Nearly a week after she had arrived at her parent’s house, Hope made the decision to extend an olive branch. As she made her way down from her room one morning, she twisted her hands together nervously as she took deep steading breaths to calm her nerves. Unlike the previous days where she would do all she could to avoid running into her mother or father, Hope began to seek out the Countess.
When she did not find the woman in the parlor, dining room, or library, she made her way out to the glass covered greenhouse that stood next to the perfectly tended garden. The Countess, she had discovered, had a talent for gardening and very much enjoyed spending time with her precious flowers. Hope thought it was an admirable quality for the woman to possess.
She slipped inside the greenhouse as quietly as possible and found the Countess leaning over a row of potted roses. The plants were small, clearly early in their growth, and she was carefully inspecting and trimming off bits and leaves that were browned and wilting.
Hope did not wish to disturb her while she went about her delicate task, so she stood silently and watched the Countess work. There was a confidence in the woman’s movements that Hope had not witnessed in any of the handful of their brief interactions.
Most of the time, her mother seemed timid and hesitant, not only when she spoke to Hope, but when she was around her husband as well.
After several minutes, the Countess tensed, and Hope wondered if she could sense she was no longer alone. Glancing over her shoulder, her mother’s eyes widened in surprise.
“Oh! Darling, I did not hear you come in.” She quickly straightened and turned to face Hope as she wiped her hands clean on the apron she wore. She looked nervous, but offered her daughter a shaky smile. “Is there something I can help you with?”
Hope was feeling a small amount of anxiety as well, but she took a deep breath and met her mother’s gaze.
“I…I was wondering if you were busy today?”
Her mother blinked, her expression one of cautious hope.
“I…I am not busy at all. Why? Is there something you would like to do?”
Hope licked her lips before answering, “I…I have noticed that there is a level of finery in fashion here in London that I do not currently possess. Would…would you be willing to come out to some shops with me to order new dresses? I am afraid I might prove an easy target for tailors looking to take advantage of me as far as prices are concerned.”
Her mother’s face lit up momentarily with unguarded excitement and relief, but she then quickly masked it, though she could not completely rid herself of her smile. Hope’s stomach twisted with guilt, knowing she had deprived the woman of this moment for days.
I wonder if she has wished for this all these years? To have me seek her help with something as ordinary as clothing?
“I would love to go out with you and help you,” her mother gushed. “I have been wanting to acquire you a new wardrobe, but I did not want to get you anything you would not like.”
“That was considerate of you,” Hope softly responded. She felt a pulse of tenderness in her chest and berated herself in her head for causing her mother such grief. “Would you be able to leave within the hour?”
The Countess nodded eagerly. “Oh, yes, that will not be a problem at all. I will just go get cleaned up a bit and meet you in the foyer when you are ready.”
Hope nodded with a small, shy grin and turned to walk out of the greenhouse. She hurried back into the house and up to her room, struck with the sudden desire to look the best she could on their outing as well.
She wanted to keep that pretty smile on her mother’s face for as long as she possibly could.
***
Several hours later, Hope and her mother were exiting a dress shop, their arms laden with packages. She could not help the wide grin splitting her face as she carried all their purchases in the direction of their carriage. Hope had owned many lovely dresses growing up, but wanting to please her mother, she had allowed the Countess to choose most of the fabrics and patterns, so they were more extravagant than any Hope would have picked for herself…the dresses they had walked out with as well as the even more beautiful ones they had ordered…it was almost overwhelming.
She would look the part of a proper Englishwoman of high class and birth, even if she did not truly feel like one. It was not truly the clothing and baubles that made her feel as though she were walking on air, however. It was her mother.
Hope had not expected for them to enjoy each other’s company quite so much. It was a surprise, albeit not an unpleasant one. She found that the Countess was rather good-humored when she was relaxed and was quick to laugh.
They had a great deal in common as well. They shared a deep love of books, and when Hope confessed to almost always carrying one with her, her mother had not scoffed at her like it was a ridiculous thing to do. She had actually understood why Hope would feel compelled to hold onto a volume at all times.
“I hope that you have enjoyed yourself, my dear,” her mother suddenly said, snapping her from her thoughts. “Is there anything else you want or need? Do not hesitate to tell me; I will happily procure whatever you wish.”
Hope shook her head with a giggle. “Believe me, this is more than enough. I do not know how I will manage to wear all of this as it is.”
“Oh, do not worry about that, darling,” her mother assured her. “During the season, there are so many balls, parties, and soirees, you will soon feel as though your wardrobe is lacking again.”
Hope could not believe how that could possibly be true, but she was excited to find out. She was also rather nervous, if she were being completely honest. Her aunt had warned her that while London society could be glamorous and romantic, it could also be treacherous.
When every well-bred young lady was vying for the attention of the few truly eligible young men, it could often be easier to make enemies over friends. It was not that Hope was particularly worried about snatching the attention of some wealthy gentleman, as she was not all that interested in forming a match. She knew it was her duty, and she would eventually have to play the game to an extent, but it simply had not been a priority at the forefront of her mind.
She just did not want to make a fool of herself.
The two women were closing in on their carriage when a window display caught Hope’s attention. She came to a stop and stared at the most beautiful blue fabric she had ever seen. It was so smooth and rich in its color…just like the ocean.
“That color would look beautiful on you,” her mother said, startling her. She had not realized the Countess had stopped as well. Turning, she met Hope’s gaze. “It matches your eyes.”
“Really?” Hope breathed.
“We should have a dress made for you from it!”
Hope’s heart hammered with excitement at the possibility, but her gut twisted with guilt in the same moment.
“I…I could not possibly…you have already bought me so much…”
And I would never have dared to hope that we would spend this time together…that we would get along quite so well…
Her mother shook her head. “I insist. That color is simply too perfect for you to pass on. Come, let us go inside. I have never been to this dressmaker myself, but I have heard that they are very good.”
Hope did not need more convincing than that. They entered the shop together and met with the seamstress, who took her measurements and quickly sketched out a design that took Hope’s breath away. She stared at the picture in awe as her mother finalized the order and gave the seamstress her deposit.
“Come along, dear,” her mother said with a chuckle when Hope lingered, staring at the dress’ design. “We should be getting back home now.”
Blinking, Hope turned her gaze to the Countess and felt as though she were coming out of a daze.
“Yes, Mother,” she replied, hurrying to follow after the woman. Just as they reached the front of the shop, the door opened.
“Oh, I beg your pardon,” a deep voice said, stepping back out of the way of the Countess. Hope frowned. There was something…familiar about that voice.
Her mother and her boxes were blocking the man from view, but as soon as her mother stepped out through the doorway, a small gasp escaped Hope’s lips.
It was him!
The man she had run into in the street the other day! Her heart began to hammer with equal parts excitement and anxiety. She wondered if he would recognize her, but then realized if he did, he might let slip her secret escapade.
Hope did not know how her mother would react to her sneaking out on her first day in London. She glanced toward the Countess, afraid that the revelation might put a strain on the bond they had been forming throughout the day. Returning her gaze to the gentleman, she found he was starting to turn toward her as her mother passed by him.
I cannot let him see me!
She ducked behind her boxes and tried to hide herself as she made her way out the door. As she moved past him, however, she could not help her curiosity and peeked around her packages, hoping to get just a glimpse of his face.
When her eyes locked with his, she let out a startled squeak and quickly looked away, hurrying forward before he could say a word.
As Hope followed after her mother, she could have sworn she felt his eyes on her and she dared not look back to see if he was really watching her. Catching up to her mother, she felt her cheeks flush when the Countess glanced her way.
“Are you all right, sweetheart?” her mother asked. “You look rather startled.”
Unable to help herself, Hope murmured, “Do you…do you know who that gentleman was whom we just passed?”
Brows furrowed, her mother glanced back over her shoulder before Hope could stop her. She flinched, praying the gentleman had already gone inside and did not see the Countess staring at him. Her mother returned her gaze to Hope and offered a dainty shrug.
“I am afraid I do not know him, dear. He was rather handsome, though, was he not?”
Blinking rapidly, Hope replied, “Was he? I…I had not noticed.”
Her mother gave her a knowing look, but did not say another word on the matter. Hope was grateful, feeling shy and embarrassed to have her mother know a gentleman had caught her eye. Not that he had caught her eye…no, no that was not it.
She was simply curious about him, that was all. It was such a strange happenstance that they would run into each other again, of course she would be caught off guard and flustered by him. Still, she could not help but feel disappointed.
He was really quite handsome. Tall, with dark brown hair, and eyes that reminded her of warm chocolate. His clothes were finely made and tailored, clearly fashionable, and expensive.
Still, despite her disappointment, she determined to push him from her mind.
It was not as though they were likely to see each other a third time.