Crowed (Team Zero #2) by Rina Kent

Dread forms at the back of my throat. I open my mouth, but no words come out. I’m terrified to ask the question. Tears stream down my cheeks because somehow, I know. I absolutely know the answer.

I just refuse to believe it.

“Crow.” My voice is a haunted whisper plagued by tremors. “W-where is he?”

“Bonjour.” The fake doctor switches to French. “My name is Julian.”

“No, it’s not.” The fake nurse talks in perfect French, too. “It’s Ghost. You don’t have to lie to her.”

“Where’s Crow?” I repeat, this time much louder. They’re being so casual about this, I want to grab and shake some sense into them.

“He’s gone.” She says it with such finality, my heart stops beating.

My nails sink in the mattress. “G-gone?”

“Yeah, you saw him.” She motions in the air. “That dickhead Storm and his sodding games got them both breaking on that shore. We saved you in time. There was...”

She continues speaking, but I’m not listening anymore. My pulse skyrockets and everything I hear is what Crow told me before throwing himself from the cliff.

It’s my honour to die for you.

My ears close, and the room spins into a thousand white layers.

Sharp pain digs into my chest. I place my hands on it as I pant for breath. It’s a lot worse than when I received word of Maman’s death. Back then, I chose numbness as a refuge. Now, all the intense feelings are pouring into me, stealing my breath away.

And the one person who pushed me to fight that numbness is now gone.

Never to return.

A guttural sob tears from my throat and echoes all around me. I gasp. I can’t breathe.

I can’t freaking breathe.

“... Crow...”

One of them says his name, and it’s the only time I look at them. Ghost and Celeste haven’t only been here the entire time, but they’ve been speaking, too. Their faces become blurry lines like I’m staring at them through a rain-soaked window.

“Brilliant,” Celeste says. “She’s back. I said, don’t tell the police anything about Crow – or us, obviously. It would only put you in a bothersome questioning. Just say that you fell down the stairs and, well, a benevolent gentleman drove you to the hospital.”

“You’re still a target,” Ghost says. “But someone will watch over you until all danger is eliminated. You won’t even feel their presence. It was Crow’s will.”

Another sob rips from my chest. The word ‘will’ is so final. So real.

Crow is really gone, and any re-life I had hoped for is now null and void.

I’m back to being just me, and I have no idea what to do with myself.



*****



The early evening turns to night. Still lying in the hospital bed, I stare through the window. Tears never dry from my eyes. I’m not sure they ever will.

Crow might have been in my life for mere weeks, but it was enough to engrave himself deep inside my heart.

I wanted to die, but since I had Crow and a taste of life, I was foolish enough to ask for more. Want more.

Now, everything is gone.

Ghost and Celeste left sometime during my breakdown, and I’m thankful for it. I was never the type who needed comfort.

Knowing that both of them are Crow’s colleagues, and therefore killers, I doubt they can provide comfort anyway.

So unlike Crow. He was rough around the edges, but he had a heart of gold. It’s not his fault that he was subjugated to the cruel life he lived.

Another tear slides across my cheek, and onto the pillow.

Céline is taking care of Charlotte. My friend told me I’ve been admitted for three days. Being hit on the head can cause that. There are still blood test results to come, but the MRI is normal.

“It’ll be fine,” Dr Bernard said. But he was only speaking about the physical pain.

The scars lodged deep within me will never heal.

Unless...

My mind drifts back to that numb phase where nothing mattered. No emotions. No worries. I simply didn’t care. If I can go back to that time, everything will be fine.

The pain is so strong, I don’t think I can live with it anymore. I’m not strong enough to go through another death in such a short time.

My fingers clutch the envelope Ghost left for me. Crow paid all my debts. Now, Papa’s house is free from the bank’s hands.

I should rejoice for finally getting Papa’s house back, but the fact that I’ll live there without Crow causes more tears to flow down my cheeks.

He even left me all of his money. I don’t need this. I only need him.

A knock sounds on the door.

I wipe my cheeks. I’m sure my eyes are red and puffy, but I don’t care.

Perhaps the numbness is coming back sooner than I thought.

Good to see you back, old friend.

Dr Bernard comes inside with Céline on his heel. She looks worried but also happy. Strange.

“Bonsoir, Eloise,” Dr Bernard says. “Are you feeling better?”

I nod mechanically, not even bothering to sit up.

The cloak of numbness is so close, I can sense it wrapping comfort around me.

“The blood test results are back.” Dr Bernard stares at the papers in his hand. “There’s nothing major, but...”

Have I somehow gotten cancer?