Shadowed (Team Zero #4) by Rina Kent

I refused to hear them.

“Zoe.” I try to shake her but she doesn’t move. “Open the door.”

Mum’s shouts become hysterical and almost scary.

“No, you won’t!” Mum yells. “You can’t leave!”

No. The memory is reversed. Dad said that and stopped her from leaving, not the other way around.

Tears fill my eyes when a crashing fact hits me.

This is the last night I heard the fighting. The next morning, they’ll both be dead.

“I won’t allow my daughter to live with someone like you.” Dad’s voice is restrained. He usually holds his temper more than Mum, but not that night. “You’re ruining her. She’s only a child, stop filling her head with your nonsense.”

“She’s mine to do whatever I wish!” Mum’s muffled voice. “You think I’ll let you live happily ever after with her? Over my dead body.”

No. It’s the other way around. Dad said that. Mum wanted to protect me. Dad wanted to kill me.

“Remove that pillow,” I coax, sitting beside Little Zoe. “Please open the door. Let me see Mum one last time.”

Little Zoe is whimpering and murmuring something. She lets go of the pillow and hugs her knees to her chest. Tears stream down her cheeks as she chants in a low haunted tone.

“Daddy isn’t a hero, he’s a monster. He kills children like me in the war. I shouldn’t love Daddy because he forced Mummy. Daddy is one of the bad guys…”

A sob catches in my throat. I don’t even remember this. This whole night is a blur in my memories, but I didn’t realise I was in so much pain back then.

I reach a hand to Little Zoe’s head. I want to stroke her hair and tell her everything will be all right. It won’t, but I needed to hear that at the time. I needed someone to give me comfort, but I never got any.

This small, whimpering girl will grow into a woman full of bitterness.

The moment my hand touches her, I’m thrown back to the present, still whimpering. Tears glue my lids together and stream down my cheeks.

I open my eyes and the face hovering over me causes another sob to tear from my throat.

Shadow sits on the side of the bed, brows furrowed. “What’s wrong?”

He sounds genuinely worried like he hates seeing me cry.

I sit up and throw myself in his arms. I need to hug him and make sure this warmth is real.

He didn’t leave me alone.

He’s back.

His fingers thread through my hair and he strokes the strands dampened with sweat off my forehead. We remain like that for what seems like forever. My breathing slows down the more his touch soothes my nerve endings.

“Who did this to you?” he asks slowly as if he’s plotting murder.

“No one.” I trace my fingers along his jawline, half-expecting him to disappear. “I thought you won’t return.”

His lips lift in a smirk. “You can’t get rid of a monster, beautiful.”

“Then why are you only here now?”

He strokes my bottom lip as he smiles. It’s not any smile. This one is full of triumph as if he scored some championship. He thinks I’m finally giving in and maybe I am. At this moment, I don’t want to be alone with my thoughts and screwed up childhood memories.

“I had to take care of a few urgent things or I wouldn’t have left,” he says.

I don’t push on the ‘urgent things’. If it has to do with killing, then I’d rather not know.

Instead, I offer something back. “About yesterday, the only reason I asked you to leave is because I didn’t want an unnecessary conflict between you and Liam.”

“Are you lying to me to save his life?”

I push away from him so his body heat isn’t overwhelming mine. “You can’t go on killing people just because you can.”

“I won’t.”

I eye him suspiciously. “You won’t?”

“I’m tempted to…” At my glare, he trails off. “But I can control myself for you.”

For me.

He’s making an effort for me. Why does the thought fill me with unprecedented joy?

With a scowl, he snatches my arm and yanks me towards him until I’m sitting on his lap. “Now, don’t leave just because you can. That’s not how this works, beautiful.”

I smile despite myself. “You’re weird. Did you know that?”

“I can take weird. I’ve been called worse.”

As his metallic gaze meets mine, I realise for the first time that maybe I’ve been hurting him every time I called him a monster.

You abandoned him like his parents. Nonna’s words play at the back of my head and I feel like the shittiest person alive. I know first-hand how childhood trauma can shape a person’s life. I can’t begin to imagine how Shadow sees the whole thing.

Something in me, an irrational, hormone-driven side wants to make him feel better. I reach out and plant a kiss on his cheek. “Liam is my childhood friend, not my boyfriend. We’ve known each other for more than fifteen years.”

He narrows his eyes. “That long?”

I nudge him. “Nothing happens between us. He’s like my big bro.”

His eyes squint further like he doesn’t believe me. “I still don’t like it.”