Shadowed (Team Zero #4) by Rina Kent

I do. Not only because of what Mist said, but also because my emotions are clear. I thought I was scared, but it’s not fear that’s in my chest. It’s a raw, deep sadness. I hug the robot closer as if needing its strength.

The words tumble out of my lips – Zoe’s lips. “Daddy isn’t a monster.”

The shouting stops. I continue hugging the robot as if its mere presence keeps me afloat.

I don’t know how long I remain that way.

Mum didn’t shout as much after tonight’s dinner, so maybe Daddy will stay this time. She made us Macaroni and cheese — mine and Dad’s favourites. It tasted funny, but since Daddy finished his dish, I finished mine, too.

He wanted to read me a bedtime story, but Mum told him she’ll do it. When he asked me if I wanted him to read for me, I lowered my head and went to my room. If I said yes, he won’t stay like Mr Chou.

Daddy brought me a puppy two years ago on my birthday. He said he’ll keep me company while he’s on tour in Afghanistan. I loved Mr Chou so much, but after a few months, I woke up and he wasn’t there anymore. The neighbour found him dead and thrown in her rubbish can.

Since then, Mum told me, if I don’t do as she says, she’ll do the same to Daddy.

The door swings open, and I stiffen. Mum stands in the entrance, wearing a long white gown like a ghost. The light from the hallway gives her a long, scary shadow.

Mrs Jones, our neighbour, always says that Mum is more beautiful than the models in her magazines with her golden hair and green eyes like the grass in the garden.

I don’t see that. I only see the shifty way she looks around like when she’s searching for her pills. When her gaze shoots my way, I instinctively shift back in bed.

My robot!

I try to hide it under the pillow, but it’s too late.

Her teeth bare in a snarl as she storms my way. I hold onto the robot for dear life. Why didn’t I hide it better? It’s the last thing I have of Daddy. He bought it for me at the amusement park. That day, he took me all over the place and carried me on his shoulders. We watched fireworks and we even buried a time capsule. The worst part of the day was returning to a fuming Mum.

She yanks the toy from my sweaty fingers.

“No, Mummy, no!”

She shoves me away with a hand to my face and throws the robot against the wall. It breaks, every limb scattering on the wooden flooring.

“I told you not to play with that!”

Tears stream down my cheeks as I run to my toy.

My friend Sarah from school always cries because her mummy went to heaven and left her and her siblings with her dad. I wish Mummy can go to heaven, too, so it’s only my dad and I. Teacher says heaven is a good place, so maybe Mum will stop shouting there. Maybe she’ll stop taking Daddy’s letters away.

He used to send me a letter every week. He says he misses me and that he loves me.

Then, the letters disappeared.

Mummy said he doesn’t love me enough to write to me, but I saw her burn the letters. I listened to her tell Dad I wasn’t home when I was.

Mum grabs me by the shoulder and hauls me back. She steps on the broken pieces, but it’s like she feels no pain. I saw her burn her thighs under her skirt once and she watched as her skin turned red and then black.

She smiles, but it’s not like Daddy’s carefree smiles. This one makes me feel cold to my bones. “Mummy will buy you a better toy, Zoe.”

“I want that one.” Snot and tears run down my face. “I want my daddy.”

She crouches, not even looking at me. I think she does sometimes, but most of the time, she’s just staring at the distance. “Daddy is a monster baby. You’re not a monster’s daughter, right?”

“Mummy, please.” I sniffle on tears and wipe them with the back of my hand. “Let me go with Daddy to the amusement park. Please, Mummy.”

Her face falls and her expression becomes distant. “You’ll leave me?”

“He’s my daddy.” I’m crying full on. “I want to play with him.”

She leans close until I smell wine on her breath. “Remember, Zoe, If you don’t remain as Mummy’s girl, I’ll take your daddy away and send him to where your little Chou went.”

I swallow and hiccoughs fill my voice. I don’t dare make a sound.

She smiles and kisses my cheek and says in a singsong voice, “You will be Mummy’s good little girl and keep Mummy and Daddy together, right, Zoe?”

I nod. Up and down. Up and down.

She pulls my cheek, her eyes turning so hollow, they almost appear black. “That’s why you were born in the first place. To keep us together.” She laughs. I try to squirm free, but she tightens her clutch on my shoulder until it hurts. “Do you see this, Rachel? Do you? There’s nothing that you have which I don’t. Oh, and you’re dead and I’m alive. I have him and you don’t.”

She continues talking to Rachel. I think it’s her imaginary friend. I remain completely still even if her grip hurts. If I’m silent, she’ll just cry and then go to sleep.

“Zoe?” Dad appears at the entrance.

He’s tall and has eyes like clouds. His dark blond hair is always short cut. Daddy is so handsome and has wide shoulders he carries me on.

His gaze drifts to my robot smashed against the wall. “What happened to your robot?”