Shadowed (Team Zero #4) by Rina Kent

“Ladies first.”

My gaze keeps moving from one to the other like a ping pong ball. Their banter is more amusing than the coffee mug in my hand. It’s like I’m watching a Tarantino film where everyone talks about blood and killing in a dark humour kind of way. Shadow and Mist’s expressions remain neutral as they enumerate creative ways to watch each other die. When the back and forth goes on for several minutes, I’m not sure if they’re joking or for real.

If I weren’t so certain that Mist would never be interested in Shadow, I might have been jealous. She’s so exotic with that fiery red hair and big hazel eyes. Her designer dark green dress fits her slender figure and enhances her creamy skin tone.

She’s probably the only one I’m sure would resist Shadow’s charms. In case of some apocalyptic event where only the two of them remain alive, something tells me she’d rather kill him and go crazy on her own rather than survive with him.

After they both agree to not cry on each other’s funerals, they seem satisfied. Shadow turns to me with the determined expression he’s been wearing since he started his quest to make me ‘face my past’.

For a few days after I foolishly admitted to being scared, Shadow tried to make me talk.

I told him all that I remember about that night and prior to it, but he still believes I’m blocking things. Probably because I’ve been telling him on autopilot, trying carefully not to delve too deep.

His solution is Mist. Apparently, she practised hypnosis before and it can aid in regaining lost memories.

“Now, help her,” Shadow says.

“I don’t need help.” Now that it’s becoming real, I’m not ready to open a Pandora’s Box.

He faces me with a neutral expression, but his shoulders tense underneath the white T-shirt. His biceps flex, and today, the tigers are full on snarling and threatening. “That’s what everyone who needs help says.”

Like a cornered animal, I go for the attack. “Then you must’ve thought the same.”

Mist smiles but says nothing.

I immediately regret it. Just because I’m hurt, it doesn’t give me the right to hurt him. Before I can say anything, however, Shadow is in my face. He leans down, looming over my sitting position like a grim reaper.

“Yes, beautiful. I’m all fucked up and a hollow monster, remember? But I admit that. I don’t hide behind fucking walls, pretending everything is fine.”

My lips quiver and my hands shake. I have to put the mug on the table so I won’t spill the coffee all over my jeans. My fingers curl in his T-shirt’s collar and I yank him down. “Why can’t you stop putting your nose where it doesn’t belong?”

He smirks, it’s sadistic and downright menacing. “Keep it up, beautiful. Give me ideas.”

I let go of him with a jerk. “I can’t believe your mind went in that direction. Arsehole.”

“Oh, I know. And if you still refuse to do this, I’ll be a bigger arsehole, chain you to bed, and force you to open up.”

“I’ll hate you forever if you do that.”

His eyes soften to a rare calm grey colour. “I’m ready to take that risk if it means freeing you from the shackles pulling you down.”

A tear falls down my cheek. He knows there’s something unreachable inside me. Maybe I’ve become rubbish at tucking myself in – I blame the hormones. It’s crazy that he’s more attuned to my mental state than myself.

He wipes my tears with the tip of his thumb before planting a gentle kiss underneath my damp eye. “Do it for the little you. You owe her the truth.”

I remain silent, but when he cups my nape, I lean into his addictive touch.

“I bet she was an adorable fucking thing, huh?” There’s amusement in his tone. “If she’s anything like you, I would’ve been all over her.”

I nudge him. “That’s so creepy.”

“What? I meant as a father figure.”

My stomach flips at the father word. Does that mean he thinks about being a father?

“He can’t make you.” Mist cuts through my thoughts. She’s been standing at a distance, making her presence so unnoticeable that I almost forgot about her. “If you don’t do this willingly, it won’t work.”

“Shut up, old hag.”

“You, shut up, filth.”

Shadow takes both my hands in his bigger ones and strokes the knuckles before bringing them to his lips. My breathing hitches at the affection shining in his stormy eyes.

“Do it for yourself, Zoe.”

I nod. It’s a combination of reasons. One, he’s so determined, it’s impossible to tell him no. Two, my baby. I can’t be a good mother if I’m constantly plagued by nightmares and panic attacks. Three, for the little me as Shadow said. I owe her and myself that much.

“Okay.” Shadow grins and stands to his full height. “Go ahead, old hag.”

Mist gives him a condescending look and taps her arm with her nails. “Ask nicely.”

“Hawk was here the other day,” he says without missing a beat.

The tapping stops and something in Mist’s face shifts. She’s no longer the cold killer or Le Salon’s elegant madam. For a moment, her hazel eyes soften and she appears ten years younger. The change disappears as soon as it came.