A Grey Wolves Howliday (The Grey Wolves #14) by Quinn Loftis

They sat for a few minutes in silence, Sally holding one of Crina’s hands and Jacque holding the other. Finally, Crina cleared her throat. “It’s been over a month since Adam and I have slept in the same bed.”

Jacque’s eyes widened, but she quickly schooled her expression. Of everything Crina could have said, that had not been what she’d been expecting. Before Jacque could ask any questions, the woman continued.

“When Vasile and Alina died, something inside of me died, too. In all of us,” she added. “And I did what was natural to me and to my wolf. I just wanted my mate. I needed him close. My wolf, she was … sort of lost. I was falling apart, and Adam was holding me together. Considering he’s not a wolf, and I know he doesn’t have the same instincts as a Canis lupus, he was great. He was there every second and never complained that I was being clingy. My mate never asked me for space. He would hold me for hours. He would run his fingers through my hair and just having that small touch, it was …”

“Everything,” Jacque said.

Crina nodded. “Yes. I was so wrapped up in my grief that I didn’t even consider he might be hurting, too. He’d known them a long time, longer than me, even if he wasn’t close to them until recently. I never felt anything from him through our bond other than complete devotion.

“He was tender when I needed him to be and playful when I was sinking too low. He’d even learned what it meant for mates to fight for dominance.” She blushed.

“Bet you wish Jen was here for that one,” Jacque teased.

“Please, no,” Sally begged.

Jacque noticed Zara frowning.

“Why would mates fight for dominance?” Zara asked.

Jacque glanced at Crina. “You’ve been wolfy a lot longer than I have.”

“Yes, but her mate’s the historian. I’m sure he could explain it much better than we could.” Crina smiled at Zara through her tear-streaked face and swollen eyes.

“I like the way you think,” Jacque agreed.

Zara’s frown deepened. “Wadim just told me to quit talking to you guys about mating stuff.” Her face reddened. “Okay, let’s get back to you, Crina. How can we help you?” she said, her words rushed.

Crina laughed. “I needed that. I feel like I haven’t laughed in forever.”

“No offense, but you’re mated to Adam. He’s the equivalent of Costin, only as a fae,” Sally pointed out. “In other words, hilarious.”

The smile fell from Crina’s face. “I don’t let him close enough to make me laugh. I’ve screwed everything up. And now, the more time passes, the more I don’t know how to fix it. I don’t know how to explain why I slowly pushed him away.”

“So, you were the one who kicked him out of bed?” Jacque asked. “Because that makes much more sense.”

“Not because of anything he did on purpose. In fact, I’m pretty sure he doesn’t even know what he did,” Crina admitted. “You know how the bond is open, like really open when you’re intimate with your mate?”

Jacque and Sally nodded while Zara shook her head and leaned closer. The girl was about to get educated, her mate’s opinion be damned.

“I guess, for some reason, that’s not the case with a fae mate,” Crina said. “I never felt anything but his love, and maybe a little worry for me, but that was it.

“Recently, I came across a letter Alina had written me. She would do that from time to time, send letters to the female pack members to let them know she was thinking about them. She did it more with those who lived away from the mansion.

“Anyway, I came across one, and it was about waiting on my true mate. I had talked to her a few days before about desperately wanting to find my mate. I had just heard that Fane had found you,” she said, looking at Jacque. “It was so exciting because it had been so long since someone had discovered a true mate. And it just brought back that ache you constantly have to push away. As I read the letter, I fell apart. It was one of those bad, ugly cries.”

“Body swaying, shoulders shaking,” Sally offered.

“Exactly,” Crina said.

“Freaked your man out, didn’t it,” Jacque said.

“Pretty much,” Crina’s eyes took on a faraway look. “He found me on the floor of our bedroom, and I couldn’t even talk. It was like she’d died all over again. And all of a sudden, our bond was wide open. I had thought it already was. All the times we’d made love, I’d thought I knew everything about him. But I felt him trying to pull my pain away, trying to take it for himself, and then I felt his own pain—pain I hadn’t even known was there. He was hurting over Vasile and Alina. He was hurting because of Peri, his friend and comrade for so long. He’d never seen her like this. Adam was terrified he wasn’t enough for me because he’s not a wolf. It all just hit me like a freight train.”

Jacque felt Crina’s pain, not just because of the alpha bond, but because she remembered when Fane had shut her out. She’d threatened to leave him until he got his crap sorted because she couldn’t stand him holding any part of himself from her. It was excruciating to know the person who holds the other half of your soul won’t bear their own to you. “Fane’s done that to me before,” Jacque admitted. “It’s like a sucker punch, repeatedly, to the diaphragm.”