A Grey Wolves Howliday (The Grey Wolves #14) by Quinn Loftis

“That’s a good way to put it. My first thought was he didn’t think I was strong enough to handle his pain. As if I’m somehow weaker. Then I was angry because I felt like he was hiding it from me. The more I thought about it, the more hurt I became. And then I felt guilty he had taken so much of my sorrow. He’d just been giving and giving, and I’d been taking. I almost felt like I’d trapped him somehow, as if he didn’t have a choice but to keep his pain to himself. So, I set him free.”

“It felt like if you didn’t touch him, then it was easier to keep him from feeling your emotions?” Sally asked.

Crina nodded. “And when he’s touching me, I’m constantly wondering if I’m the only one being honest through our bond. I mean, I don’t think he was doing it on purpose, but it just hurt so damn bad. On top of everything else, I’d failed my mate.”

“No,” Jacque said, shaking her head and squeezing Crina’s hand tighter. “You didn’t fail him. You’re both still learning what the bond between a fae and a wolf looks like. Of course, it was going to be a little different between you two, regardless of the mind link and the markings. That doesn’t mean either of you has failed the other one. It just means you have to talk, even though it’s uncomfortable as all get out. You have to be vulnerable, which sucks. And you have to tell him exactly what you need from him, which can be embarrassing.”

“Jacque, I’m not sure you’re helping her want to do those things,” Sally said in her sweet voice that really meant she thought you were an idiot.

“Tell me I’m wrong,” Jacque challenged.

“She’s not wrong,” Zara said. “Even I know that much, despite my lack of dominance bedroom games. Just think of the conversation I’m going to get to have with my mate. I’ll probably hide under the bed while he talks.”

Crina grinned. “Wadim is blunt. That will be an interesting conversation.”

“Right?” Zara cocked her head. “Why is he so blunt? He just says whatever pops into his head, and there it is.”

“He was alone too long in his library dungeon.” Crina laughed. “Starved for interaction.”

Zara sighed as her shoulders drooped. “Well, just think of me and my embarrassed self when you and your mate have the awesome talk. As Jacque has explained, it will make us all want to jump on the ‘be open and honest with your mate’ train.”

“I need to ban you from hanging out with Jen,” Jacque said, narrowing her eyes on Wadim’s mate. Then Jacque turned back to Crina. “I’m going to be bossy for a minute. You look like hell, and your wolf is restless and growly. I can feel her through this new bond I’m trying to adjust to. You and she both need your mate. You need his touch. Beat the crap out of him first if that helps, but then talk to him. Crina, he adores you. Anyone who has seen him look at you can see that.”

“Okay,” Crina said. “I miss him so much. I don’t think I would last another day without begging him to forgive me.”

Sally shook her head. “He’s going to tell you there’s nothing to forgive.”

“And he’ll be right,” Jacque added.



*****



Fane shifted from his squatted position and sat down next to Adam. The alpha leaned against him, his side pressed firmly to the fae. Decebel moved to sit on Adam’s other side in the same position. Touch. It was essential to their wolves. Owing to his relationship with Crina, it had become essential to Adam as well, but the fae didn’t realize it. Fane could feel a bond with Adam, though it wasn’t as strong as his bond with his wolves. The alpha could sense through that bond that the fae was starved for touch. Mostly for the touch of his mate, but also from those who loved him and Crina. He needed to know he wasn’t in this alone. He might be fae, but he had half the soul of a Canis lupus inside of him now.

Fane swallowed hard and forced his own emotions under control. The pain had been breathtaking at times, literally. Jacquelyn would hold him at night and just let him go through whatever emotion consumed him in the darkness of their bedroom. He couldn’t imagine not having her there, not having her touch open to him whenever he needed it. He wouldn’t have survived his parents’ death without her. Costin sat down at his feet, his leg resting on top of Fane’s. Lucian took on the same position, only his leg rested on top of Adam’s foot. To humans, it probably would have looked weird. But to their wolves it was normal and necessary. If they were in their wolf forms, they would be piled in a pack tightly around each other, and probably laying on top of Adam. which, for a fae, might be strange. But the man was one of Fane’s pack, and Adam needed his mate and his pack mates.

“Can you feel her now?” Fane asked the fae.

Adam nodded. “Only just.”

“So, she hasn’t completely shut down the bond. That’s a good sign,” he explained. “When did she stop letting you touch her and to what extent?”

Adam shifted, and Fane could feel his unease.

“I’m not asking about your physical intimacy,” Fane explained. “That question is already answered if she’s not letting you get close. I want to know how much of your touch she will allow.”

Adam cleared his throat. “At first, she sought me out.” His voice was full of longing as he spoke. “She wanted me close all the time. I loved it.” A wistful smile momentarily adorned his face, as if he were enjoying the memory. “I never feel calm … or … I’m not sure how to explain it, but something is missing when we’re not touching. But as soon as I hold her hand or wrap my arms around her, I’m whole again. I can breathe.”