Whispers of a Broken Halo by Abbi Glines

Chapter Thirty-Seven

Bryn

Rio went with us to the park. I needed to get out of the apartment, and I wanted Cullen to get some fresh air. I normally pushed him in the swings, but right now, I was standing and watching as Rio taught him how to pump his legs. Cullen was doing a great job, and the look of pride in his smile warmed me. I needed to feel warm inside.

I still hadn’t told him. When the police had finally called to tell me about the body being released and all I would be responsible for, Rio had taken Cullen outside to go look at the ducks down at the pond behind the apartment. Once that was handled, I’d needed air. I’d needed out. So, we came here.

I would have to tell him. Tomorrow, I had to make funeral arrangements. He had to know. I just didn’t know how to explain it to him. Rio was wrong. I had made a huge mistake. I hadn’t taken him to see his mother. His last memory of her was one when she hadn’t even been sober.

“Look at me, Aunt Bryn!” he called out.

I clapped my hands and cheered.

He was swinging all by himself. Another moment Tory had missed. She would miss them all now. Once, I had told her she needed to be around more. The day she’d missed his first steps, she had said his life was full of firsts, and she’d see most of them and told me to stop being dramatic.

The knot in my throat returned, and I knew I had to stop beating myself up about all I hadn’t done if I was going to be strong for Cullen. Rio couldn’t be there to take up my slack. We had just started this thing, whatever it was, between us, and he had not signed on for Mr. Dad when I had sex with him.

Rio walked over to me after Cullen was going just fine by himself. “Sunshine helping?” he asked me.

I nodded. “Yes, and you. Making him smile like that, teaching him something, and giving him that proud look he has on his face right now. That is helping.”

We stood there for a few moments and watched him swing, saying nothing. There weren’t words that needed to be said. Just him being beside me made me feel as if I wasn’t alone. I had felt alone for so long that the idea I might not be was a relief. Even if it was fleeting, I needed it now.

“He never asks about her anymore,” I said. “Is that my fault?”

Rio snapped his head back around and looked at me. “No. Stop it. Stop thinking this is your fault. He stopped asking about her because he has all the love and stability he needs. What he didn’t get from her, he gets from you. He has you. He has no reason to ask about her. She gave birth to him, Bryn, but that does not make her his mother.”

I nodded, swallowing hard. He was right. I didn’t want to think that because it felt like a betrayal to her, but he was right. Giving birth to someone wasn’t enough. Children needed so much more. I couldn’t think of one time I had seen her give it to him. Not once. My heart broke for all she’d missed out on.

“That’s the luckiest kid I know,” Rio said to me.

I blinked back my tears, not wanting to cry anymore. “Thank you.”

Cullen slowed, then jumped down from the swing before putting his hands on his hips and putting his shoulders back. We both applauded for him, and then he ran over to us.

“I’m getting hungry,” he said.

“Then, it’s time to go eat that pizza Henley sent us,” I told him.

“This is the best day ever! Cupcakes and pizza,” he said.

I winced, and my eyes met Rio’s. This day would not be the best day ever. He wouldn’t remember the cupcakes, swinging, or pizza ten years from now. He’d just remember the day his mother died.

The ride back, I was struggling with how to tell him and stayed quiet while he and Rio discussed the different superheroes and their powers. Cullen would want to be Spider-Man if he could, and Rio said he preferred Superman.

When we were back inside and Cullen was happily eating his pizza, Rio took my hand and walked me back to the bedroom. When we were out of Cullen’s view, he cupped my face and kissed me softly. I hadn’t realized how much I’d needed that.

I buried my hands in his hair, going up on my tiptoes, and our kiss grew more passionate. His hands slid down to my bottom and cupped it, jerking me against him. He moved his mouth down my neck and had just bitten my ear when Cullen called out my name.

I stepped back and took a deep breath.

Rio looked down at his erection and grinned. “You go on without me. I’ll be there shortly.”

A smile pulled at my lips, and I left him there in my room while I went to check on Cullen.

“Can I have more pizza?” he asked me.

I got him another piece and filled his milk back up.

“Where did you go?” he asked me.

“To show Rio something in my room that needs fixing,” I lied.

“Is he fixing it?” Cullen asked.

“He was working on it when I left,” I replied.

Cullen nodded, then seemed appeased. I stayed in there while he ate his pizza. I was going to have to tell him when he was done. He needed time to grieve and get comfort before it was time for bed. I would offer to sleep in there with him if he needed it.

“Are you gonna eat pizza?” he asked me.

“Maybe later. I’m not hungry,” I told him.

“Is that why you haven’t eaten your cupcake yet?” he asked.

I nodded. “They are almost too pretty to eat.”