Whispers of a Broken Halo by Abbi Glines

He frowned at me, as if I had said something ridiculous. “It can’t be too pretty to eat. It’s supposed to be eaten. It’s food,” he said as if this made all the sense in the world.

“Okay, I’ll eat one soon.”

“I’ll feed it to her if I have to,” Rio said as he entered the kitchen.

“Did you fix what was broken in Aunt Bryn’s room?” he asked Rio.

“Yep. Think it’s handled,” he replied, pressing his lips together to keep from laughing.

“Then, let’s watch Superman since he’s your favorite. I’m full,” Cullen said, climbing off the stool. Neither of us moved, and he looked back at Rio. “Do you have to go?” he asked.

Rio shook his head. “No, I won’t be going anywhere tonight. Staying right here with the two of you.”

Cullen looked at me, and I knew it was time. I was sure the expression on my face was causing him concern.

“First, before the movie, I need to tell you something,” I started, then walked over to him and took his hand. “Let’s go sit on the sofa.”

Cullen held tightly to my hand, as if sensing this was going to be bad. I sat down, and he took the spot right beside me. Rio followed us, but he stayed at the end of the sofa.

“What?” Cullen asked me.

The fear in his eyes and expectation were so much deeper than any four-year-old should know. He’d seen too much. He knew too much, and it showed. Most kids wouldn’t expect horrible news, but he did.

“This morning, your mama, she didn’t wake up. She died in her sleep. There was no pain. Her soul is in a happy place now, and she will always be watching over you.” I paused and studied his little face, trying to read his expression.

“She won’t be coming back? Ever?” he asked me.

I shook my head. “No, sweetie. Not where you can see her. But she will be your guardian angel. Always there, watching you.” I ran my hand over his little head, wishing this weren’t happening. That I didn’t have to tell him that his mother was gone.

He didn’t cry, and he said nothing, but he studied our clasped hands a few moments. I let him think it through. Comprehend it. He was only four, and although he acted older for his age because of the life we had lived, he was still only four.

“You think she will watch over me? She didn’t do that much when she was here. I don’t know if she’ll do that now.”

I let go of his hand and pulled him into my lap and held on to him tightly. “Oh, but she did. She loved you. Your mama just loved differently than most people. She had bad things happen when she was a kid, and she never truly got over it. But you, she loved so much.”

I was going to cry, and I had told myself not to do it. I had to be strong for him. His words felt like someone had just taken a hammer to my heart.

God, Tory, why did you do this? He is just a baby.

“She didn’t love me like you do,” he said as I held him against me. Still no tears. No sobbing.

“She did love you. We just love differently,” I said, leaning back and fighting back the tears to look at him.

I had to make sure he wasn’t trying to hide his pain. He needed to let it out, not pretend it wasn’t there. His mama had done that, and I would not let him do it.

“You love me the most,” he said.

“I don’t think one of us loved you more,” I said, not sure how to handle this.

“You do. When I need you, you are there.”

I pulled him to my chest again to hide his view of my tears. I looked over at Rio, who was watching us with his jaw clenched and eyes that appeared to have a slight shimmer to them. He looked as if he was holding back tears.

“It’s okay to cry,” I told Cullen. “You can cry because you loved her and because you will miss her. It’s good to cry.”

He didn’t say anything, but his small hand fisted against my chest, holding tightly to my shirt. “I can’t cry. I’m trying, but, Aunt Bryn”—he pulled back and looked up at me—“am I bad because I’m just glad it wasn’t you?”

I shook my head. “No, baby, you’re not bad. It’s good to say what you’re feeling.”

“I love Mama,” he said. “And I’ll miss her.”

I tucked his hair behind his ear. “Me too, buddy.”

He laid his head back on my chest, and we sat there in silence for several minutes.

When he finally lifted it again, he looked at Rio. “Can we watch the movie?”

Rio moved then to go straight to the television. “Absolutely,” he said.

Cullen climbed down out of my lap and went to pick out the movie for Rio. I sat there and watched them as they got it in the DVD player, and then Cullen came back and sat down beside me. Rio took the seat on the other side of him, but his gaze met mine while he sat down.

He put his arm across the back of the sofa and held his hand out to me. I reached up and threaded my fingers through his and curled toward them as we watched the movie. Later, Rio fed me a cupcake while Cullen giggled. When it was time for bed, Rio went to mine, and I climbed in bed with Cullen. Even if he hadn’t asked me to, I knew he needed me.





Chapter Thirty-Eight

Rio

The funeral was small. The people in attendance weren’t there for Tory. They had come for Bryn and Cullen. I stood beside her, holding her hand. Her tears had seemed to finally stop, and she was still and silent during the short ceremony. Cullen also hadn’t cried. Bryn was worried about it, but the kid saw what she didn’t realize. She was his mother. She had taken care of him his entire life. Tory had just been there.