My Unexpected Family by Harlow James
Chapter 14
Chloe
“Breast pump!” Valentina shouts across the living room.
“Yes!” Grace, Wes and Shayla’s housekeeper, smiles gleefully as her and her partner celebrate their win in the game.
“Never in a million years did I think I’d be at a baby shower where people would be drawing things such as a breast pump and episiotomy,” Nonna leans over and whispers to me as I finish chewing the bite I took of my sandwich.
“Yeah, that wasn’t very pretty.” I briefly recall the red marker Waverly chose for the blood in her picture for an added effect. “But with friends like Shayla and Waverly, I expected nothing less.”
“This is fun though,” Nonna continues, directing her gaze to me this time. “It means a lot to be at a baby shower for my next great-grandson.”
“Thank you, Nonna.” I reach over and clasp her hand in mine, truly grateful that this woman has welcomed me into her family, a family that I’m feeling more a part of with each passing day.
It’s the day of my baby shower, and despite feeling as big as a hot air balloon, I’m having a really good time. Plus, I’m always down for a party with plenty of food, cake, and presents that are all catered to me.
“So is my grandson still treating you well?”
“He’s doing a decent job,” I reply jokingly, even though internally I’m undecided about in what manner she means.
Is he fulfilling my sexual needs when I need them? Yes.
Is he reassuring me every time my insecurities and hormones rear their ugly heads? Yes.
Is he so damn good at handling my outbursts and crazy moments that I wonder how he could possibly still want to be around me? Yes.
But the question still remains if he plans on doing this still after the baby is born—a conversation that I know we need to have, but I’m terrified of instigating. The truth is, I’m petrified of his answer. I’m scared to think that we would have to figure out how to go back to a platonic relationship after we’ve basically been in one for the past three months, especially this close to the baby being born.
I mean, I’m pretty sure the man has feelings for me. It would be hard for him to argue otherwise with the way he touches me, holds me, and anticipates what I need before I can even figure it out myself.
But I also remember what he said about relationships, how he avoids them. We are bound together by this child, but that doesn’t mean he has to be tied to me romantically. His feelings could just be of the protective variety, out of concern for his kid. When we slept together, he told me to use him for the next four months, suggesting there was a time frame to our agreement anyway. But how am I supposed to give him up like this after he’s given me all of him in the past few weeks?
Living and being with Silas has been eye-opening in so many ways. The uptight man I met last year has taken me by surprise, made me want and dream things I never thought I’d have, and surprised me by the complexity he possesses behind his stark exterior. I want to believe I’m important to him, not just because I’m carrying his child. I want to believe that we’ve connected. Everything he’s told me would lead me to believe that.
But what if I’m wrong? What if I’ve let my heart beat for him, and then he rips it from my chest? What if things go sour between us and then all of a sudden we find ourselves in a courtroom, battling for custody and visitation rights for our child? What if his family—Nonna, Valentina, Mia, and Bianca—all decide to hate me because I broke Silas’s heart or vice versa and then I lose everything and everyone I’ve gained since I found out I was pregnant?
Sweat builds in my palms and nerves start to run through me as all of these questions assault my mind for the millionth time in the last week.
“Silas was meant to be a father,” Nonna continues, pulling me out of my thoughts. “I know he thought otherwise, but I’m glad this happened for him. I’m glad you happened, Chloe.” She squeezes my hand just as Shayla gathers everyone’s attention, giving me no time to respond.
And the truth is, I don’t know how to respond to that anyway.
I never thought I’d be a mother either, so does that mean that we’re meant to be? Or are we just two people destined to cross paths and give each other the gift of a child, but not be together, like many others do?
“Alright, everyone. It’s time to open the gifts! Momma-to-be, come sit up here.” Shayla waves me to the front of the room to a cushioned chair centered in front of the fireplace.
“Duty calls,” I say to Nonna before slowly rising from my chair and waddling over to the one I’ve been directed to sit in.
Yes, I am so big that I’m waddling now.
Waverly and Shayla start handing me gifts to open, the appreciative oh’s and ah’s of my guests echoing around the room with each outfit and necessary item I extract from a bag or box.
The guest list was small, but the amount of gifts is not. I lose track of how many pajama sets, onesies, packages of diapers, binkies, and bottles I open, each one more adorable than the last. But then Shayla finally hands me the last present.
“This one is from Nonna. We were instructed to save it for last.” She winks at me before placing the very heavy bag on the floor in front of me.
“Okay.” I cast my gaze to Nonna, who’s sitting there with her hands folded in her lap, a knowing smile on her face, as I pull the tissue paper from the top of the bag and peer down inside to see a blue and yellow crocheted blanket folded down at the bottom.
Pulling it from the bag, I place it on the top of my thighs and run my hand over the soft yarn that has been stitched together by hand, the name De Luca, etched on it in black. “Nonna…”
“Each one of my grandbabies gets one, a crocheted blanket made by these hands.” She holds her hands up in the air and wiggles her fingers. “Silas and all of his sisters got one when they were born, and now I get the honor of making them for my great-grandbabies too.”
Tears start to form in my eyes, the overwhelming feeling of adoration over-taking me. My son will have a gift made by his great-grandmother, something she poured time, effort, and love into.
I’ve never had anything like this. Hell, I don’t even know what my grandmother’s name was, let alone my great-grandmother.
But my son will. He will have cousins and aunts and uncles. He will have a great-grandmother that will probably claim he can do no wrong. And for some reason, that knowledge makes me both happy and sad at the same time.
“Thank you,” I mouth to her across the room, not trusting myself to speak at the moment.
And as the tears fall and I continue to run my hand over the blanket, I allow myself to feel everything—the fear, the excitement, the love that being with Silas has given me.
And the family he’s given me and my son, too.
* * *“How are we going to fit all of this in your car?” Waverly asks, surveying the stacks of gifts in Shayla’s living room. The last guest has finally left, leaving just me and my two best friends alone.
Shayla and Waverly are currently attempting to clean up as I sit in the same cushioned chair I was in while opening presents, my feet now propped up on an ottoman. My ankles are swollen, my belly is so big I can’t see my feet, and the late afternoon exhaustion is beginning to hit me.
I have five weeks left until I deliver, which means I officially can’t see my feet or vagina anymore, I’m getting up at least four times a night to pee, and the only thing that brings me joy is food or Silas’s dick.
“Silas insisted I drive his SUV over here,” I reply before sipping on my water. I place the cup down on the table beside me and then lightly scratch my stomach under my navy blue maternity dress. I swear, my skin can’t possibly stretch anymore.
“Oh yeah, that’s right.” She snaps her fingers. “What time did he say she needs to be home?” she asks Shayla, which causes my ears to perk up.
“Excuse me?”
Shayla flashes Waverly a wide-eyed warning. “He didn’t tell us anything, Waverly,” she grates out.
“What are you two talking about?” I volley my sight back and forth between the two of them.
“Nothing,” Shayla mutters. “So that blanket that Nonna made for the baby is pretty special,” she says, changing the subject, but still leaving me curious as to what Waverly’s outburst meant.
The blanket in question is still in my hands, the colors perfect for the Finding Nemo nursery theme we agreed on. “I know. It’s amazing.”
“So special,” Waverly says as she takes a seat on the couch next to me. “I love those types of gifts—the ones people make by hand or have meaning behind them.”
“Well, the painting you did for us is pretty spectacular too.” I point to the canvas sitting next to the fireplace of a scene from the movie that Waverly painted by hand.
“I’m glad you like it.”
“I love it, Wave. Thank you again.”
“You’re welcome. So, how are things going between the two of you? Is the man still fucking your brains out when you need him?”
I huff out a laugh. “Uh, yeah. Although with how big I am now, it’s not crazy fucking. More like lazy, side-by-side fucking, and only if I’m feeling like it. Sex when you’re this fat is utterly exhausting, just an F.Y.I.”
She sighs dreamily. “Aw, I love lazy sex. Sometimes that’s better than the rough and rowdy kind.”
“Agreed,” Shayla chimes in. “I feel more connected to Wes when it’s slow, like I can absorb everything more.”
“Well, any sex with Silas is good.” I let out a heavy sigh, which has Shayla’s brows pinching together.
“What was that for?” she asks.
“What?”
“That sigh…”
I shake my head, desperately fighting more tears from coming forward. I’ve never cried this much in my life, and now all of a sudden everything makes me emotional. “I don’t know, you guys. I don’t know how to do any of this,” I admit, waving my hand toward the stack of gifts and necessities for my baby, even though I’ve read the books now and feel more prepared than I did eight months ago.
“No one does, Chloe. You learn as you go. And you’re tenacious and determined, feisty and strong. You’re going to be an excellent mom,” Waverly declares, placing her hand on top of mine in reassurance. “Better than any of ours were,” she says, which then has me realizing that all three of us have lacked in the mother department.
“I appreciate that. But it’s not just the baby…” My eyes drop to my stomach, where I rub circles over my belly button that has now popped out.
“What’s going on?” Shayla drops the sponge in the sink and then makes her way over to the living room to join Waverly and me.
“I don’t know what this is going to look like once he’s here, you guys.”
“With Silas?”
I nod. “I’m just so confused.” Shaking my head, I can feel my jaw clench as I fight back my tears.
“Talk to us. What has you confused?” Waverly prompts.
I take a deep breath and then let it all out. “Everything. We’re sleeping together, and the man is there for me in any and every way, but when we first had sex, he mentioned that it would be until the baby was born. So what happens then?”
“Well, what do you want to happen, Chloe? I asked you this months ago when he had just kissed you and you didn’t have an answer. Are you any closer to one now?” Shayla says.
“More importantly, what do you see after the baby is here? What do you feel that you want?” Waverly adds. “Because sometimes our hearts can tell us what our minds can’t put into words.”
I close my eyes and envision the same images that have been taunting me in my dreams. “I see…the three of us together, as a family. I see Silas rocking our baby to sleep, him pushing the baby in a swing at the park, the three of us building sand castles together on the beach, Silas coaching his soccer team when he gets older.”
“Are you two together? Or are you just co-parenting?”
I let out a desperate sigh. “It feels like we’re together. He’ll lean over and kiss me randomly, grab my butt as he walks past me, the two of us will be lying in bed together as our son runs in and jumps up to join us…”
“You’re in love with him,” Shayla says, causing my eyes to pop open.
“What?”
She shakes her head while smiling at me. “You’re in love with him, Chloe. Everything you just said? Those are the things I envision with Wes.”
“Same here with Hayes,” Waverly adds, holding her hand up.
“But…” I go to argue, but Shayla stops me.
“No one understands how hard this must be for you better than me,” she starts, swallowing before continuing. “You and I have been each other’s family for more than half of our lives, Chloe. But now… Silas and your son are your family. If you didn’t have feelings for him, he wouldn’t be in those daydreams of yours. You’re getting the chance to build your own family now with a man that I’m sure loves you too, but that doesn’t mean that I won’t be here still.” Her hand searches mine out as Waverly squeezes the other one she already has a hold of. “That just means that now you have a man to have sex with you since you and I will never have that kind of relationship.” Her wink has me chuckling, thinking back to when I said that to her during my speech at her wedding.
“But what if he doesn’t want those things? What if he won’t allow himself to?” I ask desperately. “The man doesn’t do relationships. Is he all of a sudden going to because I’m having his baby?”
“He’s not going to be with you just because of that, Chloe. He’s going to be with you because he loves you too. It’s so obvious,” Waverly says while rolling her eyes. “The baby brought you together, but how you feel about one another is going to keep you together.”
“I’m so afraid of doing this wrong, of getting hurt. I’ve never put myself in this position before, and now I’m creating the possibility to be wrecked worse than I ever have in my life.”
“Is that how you feel?”
“I mean, I know that losing my parents was rough, but my family wasn’t close and there wasn’t love there. I closed myself off from feeling that while in foster care and group homes. Shayla is the only person I’ve ever let in, and that’s because she forced her way inside of my walls.”
“Damn straight,” she says with a grin.
“But this is real. This is the rest of my life. This is my family.”
“You need to talk to him, Chloe. You need to tell him how you’re feeling. I know in my heart you two are meant to be, but you need to decide on what your future looks like together,” Shayla states with a shrug. “You don’t have to bring your baggage into the future. You can start this next phase of your lives together from a clean slate, exactly the way you two want it to be.”
“I know. But it’s just been so easy to put it off, focusing on the baby and not what comes next.”
“I hate to break it to you, but you’re officially at the point in your life where you actually have to start thinking about that, Chloe. Every day you have to be prepared at least a little for what’s to come because having a family means other people counting on you, needing you…loving you. And you loving them in return.” She stands and gives me a hug. “Let Silas love you. Let yourself be happy. Jump in with both feet. At least then if things don’t work out, you know you tried.”
“Don’t live with regrets, Chloe,” Waverly adds before standing and hugging me too.
I’ve never regretted anything in my life—but not giving myself a chance at a real family just might be the one thing I do.
* * *“Silas?”
I step through the front door, arriving home after the baby shower, anxious to find him and feel his arms around me. It’s ironic that the very man that has me flopping back and forth like a fish about my feelings is the same one that makes me feel whole when he’s holding me to his chest.
“Chloe?” I hear his voice before I see him, but soon he’s appearing before my eyes from the hallway that leads to my bedroom. “Hey. How was the baby shower?”
The man looks amazing in dark blue jeans and a classic white tee, but it’s the tool belt that really has my mouth watering.
“What are you doing walking toward me right now looking like a snack?”
“What?” He looks down at his body and then back up to me.
“The toolbelt, the jeans…if I didn’t have to pee right now, I’d be jumping your bones.”
And there’s that smirk forming on his lips that makes my clit light up for the man. “Well, save that thought for later. There’s something I want to show you.” He reaches out his hand, waiting for mine. I gladly intercept his strong grip and then follow him back down the hallway he came from. I dip into the bathroom quickly to pee, and then he takes my hand again.
But he doesn’t lead me to my room. No, he stops us outside of the baby’s room right next to mine.
“I have a surprise for you.”
“Okay.”
“You have to close your eyes first though,” he declares.
“Fine,” I huff out, but smile as I do so. Silas turns the knob on the door and then gently pulls me a few feet from where I was standing.
“Okay, open your eyes now,” he whispers close to my ear, his breath touching my skin and causing tingles to travel all the way down my spine.
I slowly lift my eyelids, and the sight before me has me gasping in shock and awe. “Silas…”
“What do you think, Chloe?”
I’m mesmerized, taking in the nursery that Silas completed while I was gone today. The paint had already been done, but that was it. Silas kept telling me to wait until after the baby shower for us to finish it, but little did I know that the man was up to his own plan.
Dark blue walls the color of the ocean provide a backdrop to the deep mahogany crib and changing table combination, a dresser, and a rocking chair that weren’t here before. The bedding that matches our Finding Nemo theme is already washed and arranged on the crib mattress, and fishing nets are hanging in the corners of the room. An anchor and other nautical items decorate the walls as well, and a quote from the movie is painted onto the wall above the closet.
“I look at you, and I’m home.”
But the picture hanging above the crib is what’s instantly causing tears to form in my eyes again.
“Oh my God…”
“They turned out beautifully, didn’t they?”
A canvas printed with one of the pictures from our maternity shoot is hanging right above where our son will sleep, a picture of Silas and I topless, him kissing my forehead, his hands cradling my stomach, and my eyes closed, absorbing his embrace.
I remember thinking in that moment that I could stay right there forever—with this man, with our baby.
And now I know that’s what I want.
I love him.
I love everything this man stands for and how selflessly he’s cared for me, how special and cherished he makes me feel, how amazing of a father I know he’s going to be because he has no problem showing me that same devotion.
And the effort and time he put into making this nursery is incredible and means so much to me—I never thought I’d have something like this in my life.
“Look at how gorgeous you are, Chloe.” He comes up behind me, putting his hands around my belly. “You were so worried about what you look like, but all I see is a miracle, the definition of life in its most raw state. I told you they’d be stunning…because you are, baby.”
I spin around to face him, reaching up to cup his face in my hands, and then press my lips to his as a tear slips free. “I love it.”
“Yeah?”
I nod, my forehead against his, letting the acceptance I’m feeling wash over me. “I do. Silas…this is…”
His lips find mine again as we hold each other in this room, the entire reality of this moment cocooning us as silence stretches on around us.
I can feel Silas reluctantly release me as my body aches from disconnecting from him, and then he guides me over to the rocking chair situated in the corner next to a shelf that already has a few books on it. “Try it out.”
“Did you make all of the furniture?”
He nods and then shoves his hands in the pockets of his jeans as he watches me sit and then start rocking. “I did. I didn’t know if I was going to finish in time, but thankfully I was able to pull it off.”
“That’s why you’ve been in the shop so much lately, especially this week.”
“Yeah. How’s it feel?” He gestures to the chair with his hand.
My feet push against the ground, rocking me back and forth, melting into the light blue cushions he bought to place over the hardwood stained the perfect deep brown. “Perfect. This is…perfect, Silas. And the crib…” I stand from the chair as Silas rushes over to help me. He holds my hand and leads me to the edge of the crib where I glide my hand along the smooth wood. “You seriously made this?”
“Not too shabby, huh?” He nudges me playfully.
“This could go for some serious money on Antique Roadshow.”
He throws his head back in laughter. “Well, it does have the De Luca name etched into it. And since I run a billion dollar company now, I imagine it might be worth something someday.”
Oh, it’s worth something alright—my heart. The man has officially stolen it with the capabilities of his hands and the tenderness of his soul.
“Well, this piece will never be sold.” I don’t think I could ever part with it. Or him.
“I agree.”
“Oh! Hold on. I know what we still need in here.” I leave the room and rush out to the car as quickly as possible, returning to find Silas staring up at the picture of us. His face turns to take me in as I walk back in the room, carrying the blanket that his grandmother made for our son.
“Is that Nonna’s blanket?”
“Yes. I cried when I opened it today.”
“She made one for all of us.”
“She told me.”
He reaches out to grab it, tracing his finger of his last name etched into the yarn. “I never thought I’d pass on my name, Chloe.”
“I never thought I’d have a kid, Silas.”
Our eyes find each other at the same moment, intense silence resting between us, and then he drops the blanket and rushes over to me, smashing his lips to mine in a kiss that steals the functionality from my brain.
We slant our mouths over one another and kiss so hard that I don’t know where he ends and I begin, but all I know in this moment is that I want him—no, I need him.
Without any hesitation, Silas breaks the kiss and reaches down to the bottom of my dress, lifting the fabric all the way up and off of my body. His hand finds the clasp on my bra, quickly freeing my breasts from the fabric before he latches on and sucks my nipple into his mouth.
I moan, gripping his head in my hands, pulling on the short strands of his hair as his other hand slides under the fabric of my underwear, parting my folds and sliding inside of me in one slick move.
“Make love to me, Silas,” I grate out against the rasp of my voice.
“Lie down on the floor.” He stops everything he’s doing to me so I can get on the floor, helping me down of course before he begins to strip in front of me—first the tool belt, then his shirt, followed by his jeans and underwear, leaving me looking up to him in appreciation of the incredible male specimen that he is.
But Silas is more than a killer body. Sure, his dick should be a proto-type for dildos, but it’s his heart that has me lovestruck.
I’m so in love with this man.
And my heart can’t stop beating uncontrollably with that realization.
Silas crawls down onto the floor, moving in between my legs, pulling down my underwear, and then he runs his fingers through me again, testing my arousal.
“Please, Silas.”
“Shift on to your side, baby.” He helps me move into position and slides up behind me, but guides my face to his over my shoulder. “I’ve got you, Chloe. I’ll always have you,” he mutters against my lips before sliding deep inside of me, the two of us fitting like the pieces of a puzzle—our edges lining up so perfectly that together we make a complete picture.
The man completes me.
But then the mood shifts, the hunger for one another shifts, and suddenly I’m staring back into the eyes of the man that I want forever.
Shayla was right. He is my forever. He is the one person who has changed my life completely—not just because we’re having a child, but because he’s changed the course of my future and what I want in it.
“Chloe…” he breathes, nipping his lips gently against mine.
“Silas…”
“You’re so perfect, so fucking perfect.”
I close my eyes, fighting off the tears I can feel building with his words.
And I want to tell him how he makes me feel, how I don’t think I can live a life, raise a child with him without being with him.
But his lips cut me off before I can.
Our tongues swirl, our bodies move in sync, his arms holding me to his chest, leaving room for my growing stomach in this position, but still keeping us as close as possible.
And then it hits me—the white heat, the scorching release that has been building with every smooth pass of his cock inside of me.
“Fuck,” he growls.
“Silas,” I moan, clutching at his forearms as our lips meet once more and we kiss and moan through our simultaneous orgasms.
Once the aftershocks have subsided, Silas rolls to the side, lying on the floor beside me, clutching me to his chest as I rest my head on his pecs, our breathing the only sound in the room besides the whirring of the ceiling fan.
“Did we just have sex in our baby’s room?” I ask quietly as I run my fingernails through his chest hair.
He chuckles. “Yes. But he never has to know.”
“True.” I continue to explore his body, touch every inch of this man that I want, but am so scared to voice that I need out loud.
“Chloe?”
“Yeah?”
Silas clears his throat and then turns on his side so we’re facing each other. “I’ve been thinking…” he starts, but then the sound of his phone cuts him off.
He groans, rolling over to locate his phone in the pocket of his jeans, growling when he sees Erica’s name on the screen. “I’m sorry. I need to answer this. If Erica is calling at this hour, there’s no telling what it could be about.”
“Oh, yeah. Sure.”
He plants one more kiss on my lips, then swipes across the screen as he stands from the ground. “What’s going on, Erica?” His brow pinches together before he’s turning around and listening to what she’s saying. “Seriously?” With his pants and shirt in his hand, he exits the nursery, leaving me naked on the ground, all alone.
I wonder what he was going to say. I wonder if the words he was about to speak were along the same lines as the words that I’m thinking, the words that I’ve finally accepted now and know I want to say out loud so the universe can hear them and allow all of my new dreams to come true.
With my body sated but my mind spinning, I stare back up at the photo of us, my smile building as I finally accept that this is what I want—a family with this man.