My Heart’s Home by Kris Michaels

Chapter 18

Both Dezzy and Mercy were insane. After spending three hours with them in a vast department store, Cam was convinced being homeless had done irreparable damage. It was almost five. He was starting to get hungry and slightly put out. Between the two of them, they had a total of ten clothing items. Ten. Two pairs of jeans each. Two pairs of shoes and three packages of undergarments. They scoured the sales racks and debated the pros and cons of each item they found. Then it had to pass their rigorous inspection. Anything with flaws to the stitching, irregular seams, or too expensive was returned to the rack. At this point, Cam wanted to grab random shirts, dresses, and slacks in their sizes off the rack and stuff them into the basket.

Bull moseyed up to him as he crossed his arms over his chest. He handed Cam his phone back. “They still not done?”

Cam turned a stare at the man that could freeze a snowman’s balls off. Bull laughed, drawing both women’s attention. Dezzy waved at Bull and pulled another shirt off the rack for its turn to be examined under the Cahill microscope. Cam chuckled and turned his attention to Bull. He had loaned Bull his phone to make contact with his ex-wife. “What did she say?”

Bull sighed. “About what I expected. She doesn’t believe that I’m sober and have been for two years. Can’t say as I blame her.”

Cam leaned against a display that looked solid. “The only thing you can do is show her and move forward. What about your son?”

“She’s going to talk to him. To see if he wants to talk to me. She said she wasn’t going to influence his decision.”

“You believe her?”

He nodded. “I do. Clarissa is honest as the day is long. That’s why all my lying killed what we had. I hid the drinking. Blamed her, blamed the service, blamed everyone, and wouldn’t try to get help.”

“How did you stop drinking?” Cam watched as the shirt landed in the girls’ shopping cart. Thank God for small miracles.

“Woke up in a pool of frozen puke. The guy I’d been drinking with had died, choked on the vomit I was laying in. That was the bottom for me. That was when I knew I was going to die, or I was going to stop drinking. I got busy living. It was the hardest thing I ever did, but I did it.”

“I’m damn proud of you. Not many could do it on their own.”

“Didn’t. Went to meetings. They let me in. Coffee sucked, but the words helped.”

“You still go, don’t you?”

Bull nodded. “Need to find one near your place so I can walk.”

“You can use my parents’ car. It’s in the garage. I fire it up about once a month.”

“Nah, I lost my license—drunk driving. I’ll have to get with the court system and find out what I need to do to get it back. I need to find a job, too.”

“Small steps, Bull. Speaking of which, you need clothes and a new coat.” He motioned toward the men’s section. “Get what you need.”

Bull stared at him and lifted his eyebrows. “You’re already housing me.”

“And you’re welcome to that apartment as long as you want or need it. The clothes are necessary, and if you want to pay me back after you get set up, you do that, but I’m not looking for it. In the meantime, I’m taking care of you like you did me. So, just do me a favor and be quicker about it than these two, please.”

He watched as both of his girls looked at a rack of dresses. Mercy pulled a dark green sweater dress off the rack and held it in front of her. Both she and Destiny stroked the material, and he could see the longing in Mercy’s eyes. Dezzy said something, and Mercy shook her head, putting it back on the rack.

Cam let the women wander before he moved over to the rack and picked up the dress Mercy had held so lovingly. He made sure the women were occupied and slipped away to buy it and a pair of brown boots that Dezzy had reluctantly put back after she and her mother had looked at the price tag. He still needed something for Bull, but he had an idea, one he’d need to work on when the man wasn’t around.

* * *

Cam placed his gifts under the Christmas tree and cocked an eyebrow at two other gifts. They were wrapped in brown paper, sealed with butcher’s twine, and had homemade tags, one with his name on it. He ran his finger down the twine and smiled.

“It isn’t much,” Mercy said from behind him.

Cam met her gaze from where she stood in the doorway. “It’s perfect.”

Her sad smile and slow shrug displayed her vulnerability to him. “It was what I could do.”

“I’m sure I’ll love it.” He stood and went to her. “Is Destiny asleep?”

“Almost as soon as her head hit the pillow. Thank you again for today.” He took her hand and led her down the hall. He paused and pushed the door open a bit, hearing Dezzy’s small snores from the darkness of the room. He eased the door back toward them, leaving it ajar.

He dropped his arm over Mercy’s shoulders and pulled her in for a kiss. “You never have to thank me for taking care of you.” He understood her need to make sure he knew she appreciated what he’d done, but she needed to understand that he wanted to take care of her and Destiny for the rest of their lives if she’d let him, but he wasn’t going to rush it or push her. When she was ready, he’d know. He was a patient man. It was one of the characteristics that made him a damn good investigator. He’d wait for Mercy to know in her heart that he was the man he claimed to be.

She smiled up at him. “I can’t help feeling grateful. This is such a change. I feel like I’m dreaming, and if I’m honest, I’m terrified I’m going to wake up and you’ll be gone.”

“I’m not a dream. I’m not going anywhere. We’ll find solid ground where you have equal footing. I know that is important to you after what you endured with Ian. I’m in this for the long haul.”

They moved into their bedroom, and she sighed. “I wasn’t like this before him. We had a good life. Granted, we weren’t rich, but I was paying my bills. Destiny was well-adjusted and doing well in school. He took everything from us.”

Cam sat on the bed and pulled her between his knees, looking up at her. “And I’m here to give all of that and more back to you.”

She stared at him for a long time. “But why? What do you see in me? I have nothing but baggage. I’m a single mom who has been homeless. I have absolutely nothing.”

“Because I love all the things about you that you can’t see. I love the warmth in your eyes when you are with your daughter. I love your soft heart and that you can still be fierce when it comes to protecting Destiny. I love you. The homeless pieces are only a portion of everything that makes up who you are.”

A tear slipped down her cheek, and he caught it with his finger. “I love you, too… But I’m scared.”

He nodded. He got it. He really did. She’d been mentally and physically abused by the last man she’d trusted. “I know. I understand why you are. But I’m not Ian.”

“Thank God.” She snuffed a semi-laugh.

“I’m in no rush. Let’s take everything one day at a time. Speaking of which, here, I have a private gift for you.” He stretched over and opened his bedside drawer and withdrew two envelopes.

“What are these?” She turned over the cream-colored paper.

“This is for you, so you’ll always know you can leave any time you want to go.” He opened the envelope. “I set up an account in your name today. There is five thousand dollars in it. Enough to get you to St. Thomas or set up in an apartment on the other side of town. All you need to do is go down and sign this in front of the bank teller, who can notarize your signature. I don’t have access to the account. It’s yours.”

She lifted her eyes, confusion written all over her expression. “But why?”

He smiled. “In my simplistic mind, I figured you couldn’t leave Ian. He made it impossible. I want you to know that isn’t the case with me. I love you, and I want you to stay forever, but in case you don’t feel that way, this is your exit ticket or a safety net.” He reached for the other envelope. “These are plane tickets for you, Dezzy, and me to St. Thomas in July. She’ll be out of school, and hopefully, Ian’s trial will be over. Beach, sun, and if you’re agreeable, a wedding at sunset.”

Mercy sank to his knee and sat down. “Marry you?” Her green eyes were wide, and he couldn’t name the emotions that flashed through them, but he saw the tidal wave as it crashed.

“Call this a pre-proposal. If you’re not ready in July, we’ll go down and have a wonderful vacation. I’ll wait, Mercy. If you’re never ready, I’m still here. I’m not leaving.”

“I don’t deserve you.” She leaned into him, clutching the envelopes against her chest.

He took the envelopes and set them on his nightstand. “I don’t think love is about what you deserve. To me, it is about what you share and who you share it with. You’ve shared your soul with me. All those nights of quiet whispers about our dreams, hopes, and even our pasts. I will never be the same person I was before I met you. You have my love. Not because you deserve it but because we built it, whisper by whisper.”

Cam turned and held her as he dropped her onto her back. Her arms wrapped around his neck. He couldn’t have said when the clothes disappeared, but they did. He ran his fingers over her body as they kissed. Her body moved in perfect synchronization with his. He teased and tickled, nipped and laved her beautiful skin. In the muted light of the nightstand lamp, he saw the hollows caused by too little food. He worshiped her as if she was a fragile piece of rare china. Because, to him, she was the most exquisitely molded form in the world. He couldn’t put a value on this woman. She was priceless.

He moved between her legs after he slid a condom on. He couldn’t wait until the day they could go without, but until then, he’d take the precautions he needed to protect her. Mercy’s legs opened for him, and once he slid into place, she circled his waist and locked her feet at the small of his back. He fucking loved that sensation. She wanted him close, and he would oblige. As he entered her, he took her lips. They kissed as he moved in and out of her body. He held the kiss until they were breathless, broke for a moment, and then started over. His body entwined with hers in an erotic dance of equal parts desire and want.

He felt her body stiffen under him, and when her soft heat clamped down around him in her release, he let his body go. The few moments it took to chase his own release seemed like a second and an eternity. He held himself off her as they each gulped air.

Mercy’s hands lifted his head so that he was staring straight into her luminous green eyes. She whispered, “I love you. You are my heart’s home. Just give me time. Please?”

He dipped down and kissed her softly. “I’ll give you the rest of my life.”

* * *

Christmas morning didn't conform to the memories Cam had of the joyous family holidays. Instead, the four of them gathered around the tree after a big breakfast. Destiny sat cross-legged in front of the tree and volunteered to play Santa. She handed each person their gift. Cam glanced at his watch; he'd put off opening presents as long as he could.

"Destiny, open yours first," Cam prompted her.

She carefully opened the gift, worked the small tabs of tape, removed the wrapping paper in one piece, and gently folded it before opening the box. The squeal of delight that sprang from her was all the thanks he needed, but the girl launched herself at him while hugging one of the leather boots to her chest. "Thank you!"

He chuckled and endured three more hugs before she pulled the boots on her bare feet. Her pajama bottoms caught at the top of the boot, displaying the brown accent leather straps that hung around the ankle.

"Mom, open yours!" Destiny flopped onto the floor and extended her boots out, moving her feet this way and that.

Mercy opened her present in the same fashion, meticulously preserving the paper. She gasped at the cashmere fabric and glanced up at him. "How did you know?"

"I watched Destiny with the boots and then you with this dress. You both wanted them."

Mercy stood and lifted the dress from the box, holding it in front of her. "It's beautiful. Thank you so much." She bent down and kissed him.

"Aren't you going to put it on?" Destiny asked.

"Later. After Cam and Bull open their presents." She carefully folded the material and placed it back in the box.

"Bull's next." Destiny handed him the small present, and he pulled the twine unwrapping the gift. Bull lifted a sheet of white paper from the brown wrapping and stared at it. He swallowed hard a couple of times and then looked at Mercy. "Did you draw this?"

Mercy nodded.

"Thank you. I'll treasure it." Bull turned the paper around to show Cam. A head and shoulder pencil drawing of Bull, Punt, and Cam was at the top, and a vivid rendering of the west side of the Cottages rose from the bottom of the paper.

"My God, that's remarkable." Cam leaned forward and examined the detail. Then he turned his attention to Mercy. "You're extremely talented."

She smiled. "I like to draw. It's a hobby."

"Open yours, Cam!" Destiny bounced up to her knees.

He lifted the small gift and untied the twine, letting the paper fall open. His drawing was of him, Mercy, and Destiny, with the very Christmas tree they were sitting in front of as the backdrop. Underneath, the words ‘Our First Christmas’ were written in beautiful block letters. He leaned over and kissed Mercy. When he pulled away, he turned the drawing around for Bull to examine.

The sudden chime of the doorbell snapped everyone's attention to the front door. "Ah, my present for Bull." He stood up and jogged to the door.

Everyone followed him to the foyer, and when he opened the door, Bull's son smiled.

"Erik?" Bull croaked the word and took a step forward. The teenager bolted forward and wrapped his arms around Bull. Mercy's smile matched his. He couldn't have hoped for a better reaction.

Bull pulled the boy away. "My God, look how much you've grown. You're as tall as I am."

Erik smiled. "Happens. When Mom told me you'd made contact, I wanted to come right away. Then Mr. Freeland called and suggested a Christmas surprise."

Bull snapped his attention from his son to Cam and back before he asked, "And your mom's okay with it?"

Erik nodded. "She is as long as you're not drinking."

Bull wrapped his arms around his son again and breathed, "Never again. Never."

Cam leaned out of the open door and waved to the woman in the car. She waved back and put her car in reverse. Bull's ex-wife had been invited too, but she declined, wanting her son and Bull to have the time together.

Bull cleared his throat and motioned to Cam. "You obviously know Cam; this is Mercy and her daughter Destiny."

Erik nodded to him, extended his hand to Mercy, and then looked at Destiny. "Nice boots."

The girl squeaked and looked down. "Oh, gawd." She bolted down the hall to her room.

Bull laughed, and Mercy shook her head. "I apologize. I think she just remembered she's in her pajamas."

Erik chuckled. "No worries. Mom told me we would go out to the place where you used to live and take food. There is a cooler full of single-serving nuts, dried fruit, and granola bars and breakfast bars by the front door. We weren't sure what to buy."

"That's perfect." Mercy and Bull answered at the same time.

Cam slapped his hands together and rubbed them. "Time to get cooking. Bull, top oven for the hams. They're too heavy for Mercy to lift. Destiny is scrubbing sweet potatoes; they'll go into the bottom oven. Mercy, we've got sides. Erik, you and Bull can load the SUV with tables and serve ware. Then we'll all head to the Cottages when everything is done."

"You'd think he was in the military or something with all the orders." Bull chuckled but headed into the kitchen with Erik walking right beside him.

Destiny appeared a couple of minutes later, dressed in her new clothes, her hair brushed out and hanging from a high ponytail. Cam nudged Mercy when Destiny would glance at Erik, only to look away when the boy looked at her. Mercy smiled and glanced at him. He leaned down. "I think your daughter has a crush."

Mercy chuckled and shushed him but glanced at Destiny again, laughing quietly when the girl continued to sneak looks at Bull's son.

They were loaded and heading to the Cottages. As they trundled up the horrid drive to the area, Erik spoke. "You lived… here?"

Bull nodded. "We all did for a short while. Cam was working undercover, but this is where he found us."

Cam glanced in the rearview mirror. Erik's expression bordered on disbelief. "Dad, I wish you didn't have to live here."

"Well, there are two lines of thought on that. First, if I didn't live here, I would never have gotten sober. This is where I decided to live again. Cam gave me the ability to move on, but for a while, I was stuck here. I couldn't go back, and I didn't have the resources to go forward. Second, every person here has a story. Not all of them are happy ones."

"How many people live here?" Erik asked as they parked the SUV.

"Couple hundred at least," Destiny said as she hopped out of the car.

"How long did you live here?" Erik turned to help to unload the SUV.

Destiny put her hands on her hips. "Why?"

The young man shrugged. "I don't know. It's not an easy place to live, is it? No power for heat. No running water?"

"Nope. But you learn how to survive." Destiny carried one end of the folding table with Erik. Bull grabbed the other and lugged it to the semi-level ground where they'd set up a feeding line.

Mercy grabbed a tinfoil pan and leaned over to whisper to him, "Do you think Erik will think less of her for having lived here?"

Cam lifted and looked at the two as they talked. "No, I think he's curious. He knows Bull lived here, too."

"I don't want her to get hurt. I think she likes him."

"I think so, too, but he seems like a nice young man." Cam grabbed a huge cooler and hefted it up. "Ready to make some more Christmas memories?"

Mercy nodded. "I am, and so are they." A string of people trickled out of their tents and down the embankment. It was time to start making a difference.