The Billionaire’s Bride by L. Steele
9
Ava
"You agreed to what?" Isla stares at me.
We are in our favorite bar, at the top of the British Portrait Museum near Trafalgar Square. I’ve always liked it because you can look out of the window and spot Nelson’s Column just a block away. I lean forward, take a sip of my wine.
"I agreed to allocate separate times for each of them."
"So, you mean, you’ll be spending Monday with Baron," she counts off on her fingers, "then Tuesday with Edward, then Wednesday with Baron—"
"Uh, I don’t think it’s going to be that regimented."
"So, what do you mean?" Her brow furrows.
"Just that I’ll be taking turns dating each of them."
"Dating?" She makes air quotes with her fingers. "Is that what you kids are calling it nowadays?”
"It really is strictly dating." My face heats, but I don’t allow myself to acknowledge the blush. "This is supposed to be a fact-finding mission."
"Fact-finding?"
I nod. "Yeah, that’s what they wanted and that’s what I agreed to."
"And what is this fact-finding going to be about?" She presses a finger into her cheek.
"Finding out more about them, their backgrounds, their preferences; giving them a chance to get to know me better."
"And why would you do that?" She frowns.
"Why wouldn’t I?" I scowl at her. "It’s the simplest way of figuring out who I am most compatible with."
"Thought you already knew that?" She waggles her eyebrows. "After all, you did sleep with both of them."
"It just happened, okay?" I mutter. "If I had known it would land me in this situation—"
"You wouldn’t have shagged either of them?"
I purse my lips. "No, that’s not true. The way things happened—" The way I’d lost my virginity to Edward…when he’d walked in and stared at me and I had known then I wanted him, that I wasn’t letting him leave without losing my virginity to him... Then, being so fiercely attracted to Baron. "I couldn’t have stopped any of it," I say firmly.
"So, now you are going to try both of them out…for size?"
Heat sears my cheeks. "Not like that," I object.
"Then how?"
"There’s not going to be any sex."
She chokes on her drink, places her wine glass on the counter, then snatches up a paper napkin to wipe her mouth. "No sex?"
"Absolutely not." I shake my hair back from my shoulders. "I already know both of them that way."
My flush deepens, and I square my shoulders. What the hell? Why am I embarrassed? Face it, I did shag them both. And I enjoyed it. And they were both hot and amazing and I felt wonderful at the end of it. Don’t men sleep around all the time? Though this is not the same. When I was with Edward, I’d been convinced he was the only one. Then Baron had crashed into my life, and after how Edward had left me… Okay, so maybe I had been emotionally fragile…but I’d known what I was doing when I’d slept with Baron.
Edward had left me, and a part of me had been sure that he’d be back, I can’t refute that. Yet, I had been so strongly attracted to Baron… And he’d been there while Edward wasn’t. And it hadn’t felt wrong… I had followed my instincts. Which is how I had ended up in this situation, right?
Maybe my instincts aren’t so reliable, after all. All the more reason to stick to the plan; approach this in a more practical manner, as Baron has suggested. Try things out and see what works… If something feels wrong, I can ditch it, try something else. All along the way, I’ll be gathering feedback on what works. It’s the only way forward, right? It has to be.
The alternative is to be stuck with both guys angry and snarling at each other, and gosh, how I hate that. If there is even a chance for the three of us moving on from this, to live somewhat normal lives, then I have to give this a shot. "Besides, this is about figuring out whom I am most compatible with on an emotional level… And sex only muddies the waters… So yeah, no sex."
"Hmm." She purses her lips, "Which brings me to another question, do the guys know about it?"
"About what?"
"That sex isn’t part of the bargain?"
"I may have, uh, forgotten to mention it."
Her jaw drops. "Wow," she blinks, "so you are just walking into this hoping to withhold from them?"
"Don’t be crude," I mutter, "but yeah, that’s exactly what I am going to do. I mean, not overtly, but I am going to make sure we don’t get there."
"You’re going to make sure that two hot blooded alpha males spend time with you and you don’t end up in bed with either of them?"
"Umm, yeah?"
She shakes her head, then turns to the bartender, "Can you top us off, please? My friend, here, is going to need it."
"What?" I snap.
She motions zipping her lips.
"Tell me," I grumble.
"Not my place."
"Oh, please." I mutter. "Seriously, Isla, you’ve come this far, may as well spit it out."
"Is that what you told him?"
"What?" I frown, "Oh! For your information, I swallowed."
She opens and shuts her mouth. "Whoa, woman. Seriously, you have changed."
"It’s called growing up?"
"It’s called, having your cake and eating it too."
"Huh?"
"You know, dating two sexy-as-hell guys... With their permission... At the same time." She stares at me. "Honestly, despite the fact that I know you are not going to be able to stick to the 'no sex' thing—"
I make a warning noise.
"Not that you are not going to try or anything, but whether you are able to stick to it is another thing altogether. Despite that—"
"Isla!"
"No, seriously. Despite all that, I am envious of you. I truly am."
I snort, "Why don’t I believe you?"
"Come on, woman, you’re trying to juggle two men. Me? The only action I’m getting right now is silicone."
"You mean, by imagining yourself with Liam?"
"Ugh, that man?" She makes a face. "That full-of-himself, prick-tard, who needs to get a life? The last time I met him at his wedding rehearsal, he looked at me like he hates me."
"Maybe it’s because he actually likes you?"
"No, no, no, not falling for that, babe. There is no enemies-to-lovers thing happening here. The man positively loathes me. He can barely bring himself to talk to me when needed. Not that I mind." She snorts, "The less interaction I have with him, the better."
"So, you’ll be happy when he gets married."
Her features freeze, then she recovers and raises her glass at me, "Nice segue, but I am not falling for it."
"Not falling for what?" I ask innocently.
"You tried to change the topic and succeeded, but I am steering us back to the issue at hand."
"What’s that?"
"You and your men, Ava." She leans forward, "Surely, you do prefer one of them over the other?"
I scowl at her. "If I did, don’t you think I’d have decided by now?"
"Come on," she drums her fingers on her table, "isn’t there anything about one of them that outweighs the other?"
Let me see. Edward was my first love… He has that unshakeable strength inside of him that had attracted me from the beginning. Then, he’d left his faith behind for me, after which... he'd left me... But he'd returned back to me. He’d changed his life, for me.
Then there’s Baron. Unshakeable Baron. Who’d broken his promise to his friend because he’d seen me and hadn’t been able to stay away, although he certainly did try. The lust with him is combustible; it’s like striking a match to gasoline. The attraction with him is palpable. When we are in the same room, it’s like my gaze is drawn to him.
Well, to both of them, to be honest. They complete different parts of me. Edward is my first love. And Baron… He’d swept me off my feet.
My head spins. Shit, what a mess.
I lower my chin, hunch my shoulders. "No," I mutter, "I can’t find anything that tips the balance in favor of either of them. They are equally matched," I raise my gaze to hers, "and not only in that way."
"I didn’t say anything," Isla protests.
"You didn’t need to." I grab my drink, chugging down more of it. The alcohol hits my stomach and a pleasant warmth infuses my skin. I glance up to find her watching me carefully.
"What?"
"Nothing."
"Say it, Iz."
"Hmm." She circles the rim of the glass with her finger. "You’re going to think I’m crazy for even suggesting it…"
"Oh please," I snort, "as if I’ll ever be surprised with what comes out of your mouth?"
She chuckles, "True that, but I don’t think I’ve ever said anything this outrageous before."
"Which is?"
"That I agree with Summer."
"You do?" I blink.
She nods, "Why don't you enjoy both of them—?"
"But—"
"—for now," she adds. "Don’t force a decision, babe. Just be with what you have, savor them, let your subconscious decide who you want."
"And if I can’t decide?"
"You will." She firms her lips.
"But when?"
"You’ll know when you know."
I blow out a breath, grab my glass and drain it. When, though? When will I know who is right for me? When will I find out who is my soulmate? And why did I have to fall for both of them?
"Speaking of..." She clears her throat, and I glance at her.
"Now what?" I mutter.
She jerks her chin toward the doorway of the bar.
I turn around and the breath whooshes out of me. "What are you doing here?"